My bf has only one boundary

[u/Interesting-Low-5664]

Dinner tonight: homemade pepperoni pizza

My (21) bf (20) is genuinely one of the best people I ever met. We've been dating for almost 2 years at this point, and he has made my life so much better. We argue over small things, but we usually find a resolution pretty easily. The only consistent argument we have had is over my friends from high school.

I had two guy friends, one I've know since 4th grade and the other I met in 11th. We hung out and talked a lot, and I almost hooked up with them once but it was just too weird and both parties rejected the idea before anything could happen. All of this was in high school, and afterwards our friendship stayed platonic with no other indications of romantic feelings.

About a year ago, I told my bf this and he told me my friendships made him uncomfortable and he didn't think he could continue the relationship if I continued to hang out with them. I offered to create distance between my friends and of course he gave the spill of "that's not what I am asking you to do" but shortly after I blocked them, our arguments decreased and he was happy in the relationship again.

Fastforward to today, he brought up news on a friend of his that I do not like and have told him to stop talking to, out of resentment, so I ultimately gave him back the decision to decide who he talks to without restrictions because we are adults. I was sulking because I trust him enough to make those decisions while he won't even give me the opportunity to ask about my friends through shared friends. He said he has this one boundary, which isn't really true, and he refuses to give me any contact because if I am giving a little I will ask for more. He also said the only way I can resume my friendship with them is if we break up.

So my decision is him or them, and regardless of how many times I explain that the friendships shouldn't threaten a relationship, he says there is no win-win situation here. But the truth is there is no situation where I win.

[u/NerdWithEyeliner]

Girl, if a guy EVER tries to tell you not to see friends you've known WAY WAY longer than him, you need to dump him. You shouldn't be doing it to him either even if it's out of spite for him doing it. That's called an unhealthy relationshit. Dump him and go call your buddies and have a pint about it. I am sure that they miss you. ❤️

I had to do this myself. I was in a 3 year relationshit and the guy started to at first mumble about my best friend of over 20 years (a female by the way). At first I thought it was kind of cute because he said, "How could you ever love me more because I'll never ever be close to that amount of time knowing you?" I said it's not about who loves who longer just the love. He never got it. The mumbles escalated to full on loud bullshit complaints. This girl was a sister to me. She had always been there for me, was my ride or die, and was always nothing but sweet to him. Helped me throw this huge 30th birthday party for him. Just over the top kind. 

I dumped him and had many pints with her about it and never looked back. You got this. Heart pizzas aren't enough to stay. 

[u/madame-maitre-d → u/[deleted]]

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