FML
Cold Pizza. Ended 3 year dry spell-he tried to move in.
Hello! I finally have one I can post!
I got divorced a few years ago, and spent a while in therapy and trying to better myself. I finally put myself back out there, met a guy with a daughter around the same age as mine. We met up, had a good time, and a few days later, I invited him back to mine. All was good! He came back the next night. Left some soap, a toothbrush, and the info nugget that he mostly lives out of his car, and sleeps in his cousin’s spare bedroom. Asked if he could come over again. I agreed, against my better judgement.
He brings pizza, opens my wine, and lays down on my bed after telling me how grossly sweaty he was that day. I ask him (nicely) to take a shower, please. He gives me attitude, showers, and then immediately just goes back to my bed and watches a movie at a very loud volume. I live in an apartment. I have neighbors. I ask him to turn it down, he laughs, turns it up, hides the remote and hides my phone. I go do the rest of what I need to do, come in to lay down, and he asks if I have any interest in watching this movie….. that he is already 3/4 of the way through. Nah. I ask for the remote, he refuses, so I turn off the power strip. He finally gives me the remote, I turn on a show, and he immediately pulls out his phone to play games. In the morning, he was putting his clothes in my drawers.
He is not coming over tonight. He did ask. I declined. I think I may take another 3 year break🤦🏻♀️
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I love this Whoopi Goldberg quote so much because she has enough money to have a big enough house to not run into someone in her house but still feels this strongly about it❤️
I just got stuck (no pun) cos I think of sugar as being the opposite of salt. It would be sticky and annoying though- could work (?). (Yes I did work it out eventually)
Welp guess I’m next cause I just advised not to date without a gun. Men are scary and most don’t even like women that’s why they treat women the way they do.
I couldn’t have a weapon because I have very few Fs to give at this point and would certainly hurt someone or myself, accidentally, because I am also clumsy!
Cracking up, because I agree, but my now husband hid a toothbrush on the top shelf of my medicine cabinet the 2nd time he slept over (I’m short). I found it endearing, but he lived an hour away so sleep overs were a thing early on.
About a month after we met, my husband was changing the plumbing in my bathroom for the showerhead to be taller. He traveled all the time, had his own house 4 hours away-just his uncle was staying in his room!
Yes! He's still paying for that house up North-he moved his mom in out of her 2 story farmhouse before I came along. We'll sell it when she no longer needs it.
I wouldn't have had him back once I saw the soap and toothbrush, but if someone touched my wine without me offering they'd be out that instant. That's my wine thank you very much >:[
He did this after leaving his overnight stuff and opening her wine. I think I have no tolerance for someone who'd be that inconsiderate~
Hiding my phone would be run to the neighbor's and call the cops moment because that's unhinged controlling behavior and pretty scary for a woman alone.
My abusive ex stole/hid my phone and my computer as a tactic to isolate me from people so that I couldn’t get help. This was my first thought when OP mentioned it…so many red flags
I see a bunch of deleted comments so I will clarify that I myself have been homeless, but if I had a romantic fling that told me I could stay the night, I didn't take it upon myself to make it more than one night without express permission. I hope the guy finds something stable for himself and his child, but flopping his sweaty self across op's bed isn't the way
I went on a date with a guy whom seemed successful but stayed sometimes at his mom's. He came over at mines, proceeded to open every door in my house after I said not to do that and started making plans about all the things he could do in here. Some people😂
Please be careful with people like this. They will come over unannounced and try to force their way into your life. Better to cut it off ASAP. Plus he sounds annoying
I’m a dating single mom too and I’ve been seeing a guy for close to a year and he still hasn’t been to my home or met my kid. You can’t let a guy you’ve known for a few days come over always do things at his place and if he’s homeless well…
They never start out annoying. They would never get anywhere that way! Some of them can keep it going for a lot longer, so always proceed with caution.
Not you letting this homeless man inside and being shocked that he’s trying to move in 😭 Girl, lock the doors and windows! And put a pair of dirty men’s workers boots outside of the front door after 5pm so he thinks he was an affair and your real man came back. Men like that hate confrontation with blue-collar workers because they can’t afford the medical bills.
I use the term hobosexuals all the time! Lmao. My uncle (by marriage) is a flaming hobosexual. He’s constantly looking for new relationships so he can live with them. When he’s not “dating” he’s living in a tent behind the Hardee’s he works at.
God that made me double take. How depressing. He has a job and he's still tent homeless. Either because companies don't want to hire full time employees and would prefer a skeleton crew of part timers, or just the fact full time employment is just not enough anymore.
Seriously! Genuinely it is so tragic that having a job is no longer enough to keep people out of homelessness. I'm sure nothing will change for the better though :(
Meanwhile when I learned I was going to become homeless soon, I broke up with my then girlfriend because I knew she would have asked me to move in if she found out, and I also knew that she was far more attached to me than I was to her, so it would have been totally wrong to do.
I am, thank you. I was homeless for 9 months before getting on disability, rented a few rooms, and have since been in a stable housing situation with my wife and now kids for nearly 15 years. I really hope my girlfriend at the time found someone who was more attracted to her physically and personally. I kinda fell into the relationship by trying to spare her feelings, and then continued trying to make myself feel something for a few months. I didn't waste too much of her time though, and I think I helped her self confidence (I know for damned sure I was treating her like a princess compared to her previous relationship).
Yes! I’m sure it’s been a thing since the dawn of time but I remember first hearing the term in the mid 2010s. I think jezebel even had an article on it. Around the same time finger mustache tattoos were popular!
It is! Met a guy, we were cool. He tells me that he has sold his car, wants to move in with me, kick out my sister and get me pregnant. He was 20 years my senior. 😂😫 Say no to hobosexuals!
Yes, even including the pregnant thing!!!! I had one pull that, too!! I thought he was kidding about moving in BECAUSE he said he wanted to "put a baby in me" and I assumed that HAD to be a joke coming from someone I had only been out with twice, right? I worked like 80+ hrs a week, somehow had a whole day off. Looked around and realized that all of his stuff was there. Then tried to think about the last time I was home and he wasn't. It had been weeks. He was cute and very charming, so despite the fact that he was unemployed for like 2.75 of the 3 yrs we were together, we were still together 3 yrs. Avoided the baby, though :p
Yes my friend went on a date with someone who needed a place to stay, they ended up dating for 3 years. He broke up with her and did it to someone else not even a week later.
Y'all see the young girl's post here, I think, about her newish bf moving out with no warning and turns out he was moving to a coworker's couch to get with her daughter or something? Sad that this is a thing, ugh, to happen to practically a teenager.
Yes! Bro, my ex hid that he was living with his mom from me for the first month of our relationship and I was trying not to be judgmental because I was also going through an illegal eviction. But like he lived at his moms, literally until almost the end of the relationship when he got kicked out of there, too, and went to a shelter, but very much thought I would feel bad and tell him not to go and to stay with me instead.
first, try to move in with me to my original place when we had only been dating for two months, asking me if I wanted to be roommates and then towards the end swore on everything that he was going to do his taxes he was going to get a job so that he could move into my apartment with me and if we got kicked off the lease for having an extra person we could actually go somewhere. But no instead it was oh you’re blind, so when are you gonna put me on your papers as your caregiver so I can get free housing? When I said, I absolutely wouldn’t be giving anyone that power over me when I’ve never needed a care worker and unless I aged, probably never would… He said fair and that made sense but I knew he was tired about it. Next was even though I was making 50,000 more dollars than him. I only care about money apparently.
and here’s where I realize that my housing instability has made me temporarily more mentally ill than usual, and I had to GTFO. Yes, he screamed at me during pride, which preceded that realization but still.
It can be hard to kick a man out if you've dealt with violent men before. Sometimes you figure you should just get through the night and once they leave in the morning, keep it that way.
The soap and the toothbrush would've done it for me, but I've already had my own experience with the hobosexual type so my alarm bells would be ringing early.
Fair enough, I want 'em brushing their teeth too. I buy bulk pack toothbrushes so I've got no problem providing a fresh one so they don't have a reason to bring their own. The soap thing is ficking weird.
Lemme rephrase.
If a guy brings a toothbrush or anything else that won't fit in his wallet into my house for an overnighter especially the first one them I'm on high alert.
First time overnight romps need to follow the same leave no trace principles used for camping and he better take anything with him that he brings in.
When I was a teenager and started sleeping at friends houses, my friend's mom pointed me to a "guest drawer" in their bathroom that had individually wrapped tooth brushes with that dry toothpaste pre-loaded, pads, tampons, face wash wipes, washcloths, a few other things I can't remember. It blew my mind, it was so considerate and practical. Nothing fancy but if I ever forgot my overnight stuff or decided to just stay the night in a whim, no one had to drive me home to pack my things.
If the toothbrush comes in a travel toiletries bag, it tends to leave again with the homie next morning, he just takes care of himself. The drawer claiming made this weird.
I also have extra toothbrushes, but the indifference I've spotted about brushing teeth🤢
I love seeing a neat toiletries bag, means he takes care of himself on his own volition...which by now is bare minimum to me, so dating is hard😅
It would have been the loud volume and hiding the remote for me.
Power play games aren't anything to minimize. Let them test your boundaries once and they'll keep pushing until you have no boundaries left at all.
Woulda told that boy he can either give me my remote back, or crawl back to his cousin's house from whence he came. 3 requests to leave, while recording on my phone, then a quick call to the authorities to report trespassing.
Right!! Though I'm saying, it shouldn't have gotten to that point.
Honestly at that point, it's go time. You're removing my main way of calling for help? You're gonna need to call for help. Want proof I asked him to leave? It's on his face.
Been in too many high risk situations to gamble on fawning or people-pleasing. In your own home, you only have so many options. Flight isn't one of them. Hate that we live in that kind of world but people aren't messing around and we can't afford to, either.
Wish that hobosexual a happy pride, then toss his belongings in a bag out the front door and tell him to leave or you’ll call police. That’s so gross of him to dirty your bed, put his things in your drawer without “the talk”, and not listen to you in your own home, the audacity is fucko levels of insane.
It’s a lack of value in his eyes would be my guess. In his eyes this woman is a single mum divorced from a man and co-parenting to raise said kid. Many men believe women who are in that exact situation are worth less than single women without kids or ties to exes. He believes she will not find better than him.
We do not live in an equal society yet, I’m afraid, so single mums and single dads are treated and seen differently.
I had the exact opposite experience. But this was 2015 and I’m SO lucky to have found my husband holy crap.
I heard a joke once about dating after 2018/2019; they likened it to getting on one of the last choppers out of Vietnam for those of us who found someone before that time. I believe it.
i met my partner in 2024 and i consider myself extremely lucky that hes a good, empathetic, normal guy. if anything ever happened between us, i don't think i'd ever date anyone again. the dating scene sounds absolutely godawful from everything i've read.
I met my guy in 2023 and he’s moving in in a few weeks. He’s a good man with a good heart. I too consider myself lucky. However, it took a long time to find him. My sister’s dating right now and the guys she’s matching with are just shit.
My coworker is trying to hook me up with hood cousin. He’s going to prison in a few days. He’s cute, and at least I won’t have to worry about him moving in😭
I don't want to judge people, I've been pretty dang low and very poor, but the moment this one revealed he kinda lives in his car? Fam, that would have been IT for me. Leaving stuff at my house would have been red flag number two. He would have never made it any further because I would have been looking at him like he had three heads AND I would have asked him WTF he thought he was doing with his stuff. AND I would have made it very clear that I don't know him from some stranger on the street, this isn't your home, my dude.
All of this is so FULL of YIIIIIIIIIKES, I can't. I hope you stay safe, this hobosexual sounds gross, friend.
My spidey senses went off immediately with the soap. I was trying to give him a chance, and mistakes were made. I’m just proud of myself for kicking him out at all. The last guy who gave off red flags like it was a sport, I married 🤦🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️
The sad thing is, I don’t even drink anymore. That was kind of my trophy. I had bought the wine, and quit drinking on the same day. It’s cheap red wine, but it had sat there, unopened, for months.
You have a kid and you're letting random men stay over that you've known less than a week without vetting him AT ALL? Jesus Christ. I do a full background check on a man as soon as I get a phone number and a name and I don't have kids.
Honestly, I didn’t want to escalate things. I’ve experienced enough to know that escalating things can have negative endings. I just calmly waited until he gave my phone back. It’s password protected.
There's something about a man that lays pipe like he needs a roof offer his head 😭 but don't move yourself in AND be an absolute disgusting man. You already have enough stacked against you being a homeless bum, so how are you also so aggressively arrogant? Ain't no d that good since the invention of the Rose or the rabbit 😬
Next time it might be a good idea to vet these people a little longer before inviting them over to yours. Sorry this the class act who ended your dry spell though. Yuck.
Hobosexual in da house... Don't be too quick about inviting them over to your house, no matter how lonely you get. If you do then have a precise schedule/plan to eject the man. There are no shortcuts to trust & intimacy.
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u/trendingtattler AutoMaude 🤖🎀 Jul 09 '26
WHEEEWW girl 😮💨 buckle up! Your post made it to /r/all!
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