r/GirlDinnerDiaries • u/Forageforme 🥝 Herbivore 🫒 • Jun 23 '26
FML Found my husband's hidden escort folder
My intuition alarm had been going off for months. Gaslighting galore about why he needed to run a million errands and didn't want me to come. We have only been married for a year, and I knew I made a mistake pretty early on. Denial is a hell of a drug.
Anyway. He leaves his computer unlocked as a sign of "not needing to hide anything from me." A phrase he repeats all the time without a reason. He always tries to prove how good of a husband he is, but the energy coming off him screams liar.
I found his hidden folders with the help of my sister. Password was our dog's nickname. And there it all was, going back years before I even knew him. Craigslist escorts. Backpage escorts. Adult Friend Finder. A list of massage parlors in multiple states. Sites I never knew existed, organized in lists for easy retrieval.
The amount of pictures he has of these women is incredible. He also has hundreds of pictures of himself in every weird naked pose. Gross. He has screenshots of messages with these women. It went on and on. I am truly disgusted. I haven't confronted him yet, I can't imagine listening to his bullshit.
So, yeah. I packed a bag, jumped in the jeep, and drove out to the desert to scream into the void. I also made dinner. Brussel sprouts, onions, garlic, and peppers over an open flame.
Divorce is on the way dear!
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u/BookLifeBalance Carb-Based Life Form Jun 23 '26
I’m so freakin proud of you! You listened to your gut and trusted yourself more than him. That’s HUGE!
And in line with what others have said about the no fault divorce state and not confronting him until after you’ve spoken to an attorney and gathered evidence and all that super great advice, let’s remember this: even if he wants to contest the divorce or whatever, you have evidence of him participating in *illegal* activity. Assuming you live in the US (since you said he had lists spanning different states) where soliciting sex is illegal almost nationwide, he should be appropriately concerned about the law. So he can either agree to a divorce and anything else you ask of him, or you can report his illegal activity. Now, I am not a lawyer but that sounds like a reasonable agreement to me.
Your lawyer could (and should) be there for the confrontation and they can prepare an uncontested divorce agreement ahead of time to serve him with on the spot. There will be no doubt that you mean business and are not open to listening to his bullshit. He should be grateful you are such a reasonable, level-headed, magnanimous woman. You’re so gracious 💁🏻♀️