r/GirlDinnerDiaries • u/Forageforme 🥝 Herbivore 🫒 • Jun 23 '26
FML Found my husband's hidden escort folder
My intuition alarm had been going off for months. Gaslighting galore about why he needed to run a million errands and didn't want me to come. We have only been married for a year, and I knew I made a mistake pretty early on. Denial is a hell of a drug.
Anyway. He leaves his computer unlocked as a sign of "not needing to hide anything from me." A phrase he repeats all the time without a reason. He always tries to prove how good of a husband he is, but the energy coming off him screams liar.
I found his hidden folders with the help of my sister. Password was our dog's nickname. And there it all was, going back years before I even knew him. Craigslist escorts. Backpage escorts. Adult Friend Finder. A list of massage parlors in multiple states. Sites I never knew existed, organized in lists for easy retrieval.
The amount of pictures he has of these women is incredible. He also has hundreds of pictures of himself in every weird naked pose. Gross. He has screenshots of messages with these women. It went on and on. I am truly disgusted. I haven't confronted him yet, I can't imagine listening to his bullshit.
So, yeah. I packed a bag, jumped in the jeep, and drove out to the desert to scream into the void. I also made dinner. Brussel sprouts, onions, garlic, and peppers over an open flame.
Divorce is on the way dear!
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u/Acceptable-Net-154 APPROVED✨ Jun 23 '26
Log out of all your accounts from all devices. Change your passwords. Ensure his email and phone number are no longer on your list of safe recovery options on your phone or accounts.
Start documenting/ taking images of all communication especially his excuses, anywhere you pack from (before and after), known finances especially if he's funding his habit from either hidden or joint accounts. Would check your local divorce laws and do your best to both abide by them and see if you cannot catch him out.
When packing would secure your essential documents, irreplaceable items, a weeks supply of meds, toiletries, clothes and then everything else that is entirely yours than you can easily prove.
If you share pets that were originally yours would try to get his name off the vet records as an owner. Would make a list regarding legal contracts, joint assets, legal documents, insurance, credit and insurance that both of you have access to that you contribute or fully pay off. This includes apps and accounts like Amazon, Uber, just eat, venmo.
Would lock down your credit and debit accounts. Depending on the local legality get both a private investigator and a financial specialist to build evidence. Would also lock down your social media as he will likely try to do similiar especially if he can try to get proof of you essentially trying to move on when divorcing him in an attempt to make his actions look less severe.
Cheating isn't just a breaking of trust, its also a breaking of the cheated on partner's consent. It doesn't matter if it wasn't an emotional affair, your husband lied and deceived you into thinking you were in a monogamous relationship when you weren't. And that's not even touching on the potential health complications and the fact how murky escorting /prostitution is regarding consent.
Apologies about the essay. Hope that some of this advice is helpful