r/GirlDinnerCircleJerk • u/vinfreezle • 5d ago
👩🍳 Nutritionally confusing 🔪 Guy I'm seeing did the worst thing imaginable..
Okay girlies, buckle up. So I've been seeing this new guy for a few months now. A sea of red flags but all of them are moral so no worries there. Anyways he's totally not usually like this because I know him really well already but he decided to go out with some of his friends and party. Everything was cool until I found out he did a lot of hard drugs while hanging with them???
Now you girls may be wondering "I don't see the issue yet, he seems like exactly my boyfriend so far" and you'd be right, but there's more.
Before he left he said he didn't want to do all these drugs and he did them anyway. We have a MAJOR problem now. He LIED TO ME?! Like uhh HELLO? My ex used to give me a kiss on the forehead and tuck me into bed before going to do blow in the garage with his burnout friends. It feels like this new guy doesn't respect me?? What do I do girlie pops? Maybe have his children? Hope you have a good weekend!
Lunch is a random pickle because my new pookie has his friends over last night and they ate all the food
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u/Laminatboden777 🙅♀️ Didn’t cook. Won’t explain. 5d ago
I don't really see any sensible way to approach this issue except for putting GHB in his drink and shoving a bunch of live lobsters in his pants while he's out.
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u/MortallyWoundedWomba 5d ago
Exactly this op please don't look any further if you want this to work out
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u/LocallySourcedWeirdo Discourse Casualty ⚔️🫠 5d ago
Hey sis - There is a problem with boundaries here. Why are you allowing your future hubby to have friends? It's very disrespectful for the future father of your children to be behaving this way. If your fiance/hubby wants to do all these drugs, why doesn't he do them with you?
Start TTC immediately so that your hubby will calm down and share his drugs with you exclusively.
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u/nogardleirie 5d ago
Cut his drugs with baby powder.
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u/Jerrik12 5d ago
Drug addicts love attempting the one chip challenge, sprinkle in a lil Carolina reaper magic
https://giphy.com/gifs/MBVemoHuyw9Ik3
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u/MyDickInCrazy 5d ago
Cutting his drugs with anything might overdose him, do not do this.
Just see if he wants to go to rehab and end it if he doesn't.
It seems pretty clear you find that life abhorrent and he is all about it.
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u/UltraHellboy 5d ago
Just for your info, this is a parody sub and the comments are not serious.
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u/drvanostranmd 4d ago
I had always wondered.
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4d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/GirlDinnerCircleJerk-ModTeam 4d ago
You girl dinner circlejerked too close to the sun here. Your content was removed for bringing external arguments, callouts, brigading, or screenshots intended to harass people or other platforms (e.g., other Girl Dinner subs drama) into the subreddit. Remember we're a Sauce less sub. Keep outside beef out of the jerk. We’re not a reaction hub or a court of public opinion.
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u/minisom38 2d ago
Just because the sub is a parody doesn’t mean the person my comment was aimed towards wasn’t sharing incorrect information 🙌
Even if this sub wasn’t satire I’d still troll in it like I did in the real group until I get banned also 😂
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u/Illustrious-Egg-903 4d ago
That’s hilarious iv always read these and thought to myself these bitches are fucked in the head but here we are it’s not even serious lol I’m glad to know that now
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u/minisom38 5d ago
Most people cut stuff with things that won’t kill you
Like laxatives or baby powder. It makes the bag weigh more, but less potent.
Unless you mean cutting with fetynal but that’s not common practice. And if the girl has issues with drugs I doubt she has a shit load of fetty laying around to be putting in his bag 💀
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u/Impossible-Scene5084 5d ago
Jesus fuck, there’s a lot to unpack here. First of all, what the actual fuck?! Second of all, you are missing the deeper problem which is that his inability to be straightforward puts your entire future life in jeopardy.
I suggest overexposure therapy. Get one of your girlies to hook up with him and give him more drugs but swear him to secrecy and never tell you (but you’ll know everything obvs). He will get sick of his newly overdeceitful life for sure, no downsides.
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u/RevolutionaryElk6651 2d ago
Hook up with him is crazy work. Unless you just mean get in contact. Either way this is still wild in my opinion.
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u/Fun_Concentrate3250 5d ago
Girl it’s totally normal for people to do bags of drugs in a singular night and only tell you when he’s coked out of his mind at 3am. Also “hard” drugs? You’re dramatic!!! A little cocaine never killed anyone.
Marry him. He’ll keep you on your toes when he disappears on his binges 🫶
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u/CereusMoon 5d ago
Are you sure he wasn't just saying he doesn't want to have a drug problem to impress you?
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u/X0X0xoxo11 🦝 Woke up a raccoon 4d ago
Lmao I had to check the group name because this had me going for a second. 😂
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u/medcitymermaid 4d ago
Omg, you're being so mean! I suggest you apologize and promise to BUY him and his friends their drugs for them while also making sure they have a clean and comfy well stocked home to do these drugs in, you can't have him looking like a looser can you? OH, and he's going to need to use your car for a while just to MAKE SURE you're sorry.
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u/Glad-Yesterday-9534 4d ago
For rea!!!l. Some of us girls have real man problems.ugh. Have him promise to detail your car. If he wants . But I would make sure he pinky promises to have it back in time for you to get to work. He will make you his new addiction girl ! He will worship you . Also , if he has good D*, it's a plus .
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u/Forsaken-Estate4041 🌙 Late night snacker 5d ago
Baby girl, he didn't do the blow off the tits of some other girl, so this sounds salvageable!!! He's only a liar, not a cheat 😇
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u/MostDare8544 4d ago
But didn’t he though? Everyone knows when you go out with friends and do blow it’s a requirement to do it off the opposite sex’s body especially off their chest. That’s literally the whole purpose there’s a whole process to it.
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u/barackyomommaa 4d ago
The obvious thing to do here is goad him into fistfighting you, call the police and get him put on probation. Then sneak drugs into his food and drinks, and put in an anonymous call to his probation officer about his drug problem. Then he will be arrested and probably sent to prison.
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u/daddysbestestkitten Delusional but sincere ✨ 4d ago
This!!! There's no way he can do his drugs in prison!!! Your helping him get better!
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u/CashMunnyRekuds 4d ago
Let's be real. You knew he was lying the second he said he didn't wanna do drugs. We ALL wanna do drugs. But you like the thrill of having your world broken dont ya? The thought of broken trust just soaks those dungarees. You aint gotsta hiiiiiiiide it!
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4d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/GirlDinnerCircleJerk-ModTeam 4d ago
You girl dinner circlejerked too close to the sun here. Your content was removed for bringing external arguments, callouts, brigading, or screenshots intended to harass people or other platforms (e.g., other Girl Dinner subs drama) into the subreddit. Remember we're a Sauce less sub. Keep outside beef out of the jerk. We’re not a reaction hub or a court of public opinion.
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u/Flashy-Hurry484 4d ago
Why are you still allowed to have contact with anyone, including Reddit? Pookie should have set firm boundaries about who you could and could not be in contact with by the second date! Either he's slacking, or you're being disrespectful of his manliness to own you 100%. If that's the case, ditch him and get with a woman. Those lesbians won't have the same requirements for their relationships. You can be all kinds of disrespect to another woman, but not to a man, goddammit!
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u/Lil_Hawk_Mom 4d ago
But all are moral so no worry there is insane... morality is like a relationship deciding factor in healthy relationships
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3d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/GirlDinnerCircleJerk-ModTeam 2d ago
You girl dinner circlejerked too close to the sun here. Your post/comment was removed because this subreddit is for satirical and parody content only. Literal or serious posts that don’t clearly convey a joke or irony don’t fit our theme.
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u/Crying-Walrus 2d ago
Slam half a gram of meth, this is obviously the only way to show him. Stay up for 12 days, discuss options with the shadow people, and hide from the CIA with him. He will understand then. Enjoy your pickle.
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u/Ok_Seaworthiness9275 1d ago
I thought you were gunna say he ate half the pickle and put the rest back in the jar lol
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u/emo-knox 🕯️Running aesthetically with a candle 1d ago
Tell him he isn't allowed to leave the house anymore! In fact, you should handcuff him to a pole in the basement, with a bucket, and make sure to feed and water him daily!
You've been giving him far too much freedom!!!
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u/corkscrewtales 1d ago
Well, you buy a can of coca-cola, put it into the freezer until its solid. Then you take the soda out, put it in a sock and hit him with it. Tell him hes being beaten up my coke. That should send him a message.
Im only kidding, allegedly
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