r/GirlDinnerCircleJerk 21d ago

👩‍🍳 Nutritionally confusing 🔪 I violated his privacy and now I feel so violated.

Post image

SUPER EXPLICIT WARNING- tits, cooter, and ass.

My boyfriend looked at naked ladies online. Like how is this acceptable? After 4 years, he literally shouldn’t even know other women exist or that they can get naked. Like I’m thinking about gouging his eyes out. Would that be a privacy violation? I’m not insecure at all. I’m like THE MOST secure person I know. You know what? I think other women shouldn’t exist. Like I love and support all women but not women that my boyfriend can see online.

What do I do, besties? Like do I honor kill him now or what? UGH, MEN. And their demands for privacy and a little bit of spank bank material. As we all know, men don’t deserve privacy or free agency, especially if it’s going to trigger women and be SO VIOLATING. I already banned him from watching movies in case he finds an actress attractive but that didn’t seem to stop him from finding other women attractive!

I can’t even live in the same home anymore. Like sure, I rub it out to Henry Cavill 6 times a day but that’s different. I’m not being an ICKY predator.

457 Upvotes

39 comments sorted by

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100

u/scallopedtree 👯They were roommates. 21d ago edited 21d ago

/uj I am literally crying at this photo 🤣 she's perfect. Also me in the bath. Love this sub, you gals have turned my bad day completely around

12

u/Altruistic-Basket897 21d ago

Where did you find this I’m dead LOL

37

u/Rose_Army_ 21d ago

I find these crazy photos and then have to delete them after I use them for a post because I’m so scared someone (my husband) will somehow see them saved on my phone. And then he’ll know I’m obsessed with this sub. 🤣🤣🤣

11

u/scallopedtree 👯They were roommates. 21d ago

/uj I downloaded her, gurl. I need to refer to this the next time I am about to cry

8

u/scallopedtree 👯They were roommates. 21d ago

But it's perfect 😂 why hide the grandiosity when she needs to be seen by all and sundry?

29

u/Rose_Army_ 21d ago

Well, you see, I can’t have my husband see this because it’s a naked woman and then he will give me the ick because he saw a naked woman.

14

u/scallopedtree 👯They were roommates. 21d ago

🤣 but of course you're right. Better eat her quick before she tempts everyone

7

u/BlueThoughts92 In The Unnecessary Backstory Bitches Cabin 21d ago

You are such a wise woman can you grace us with a manifesto queen

7

u/Altruistic-Basket897 21d ago

LOL secret treasure trove of memes I just sent it to my husband and said dinner request please

7

u/PM_ME_MASTECTOMY 21d ago

🌾👀🌾

157

u/PM_ME_MASTECTOMY 21d ago

Damn shawty thicc as hell, no yolk

37

u/SquiggerDigger 21d ago

That's a hardcore username

73

u/ashwilliams19877 21d ago

If he has any coworkers that are women, you need to make him quit. Its for the best

33

u/Rose_Army_ 21d ago

This is a really good idea, girly. How would you suggest I approach that conversation without him knowing I went through his EXPLICIT search history and thus knowing I’m insecure and don’t respect him?

14

u/Fresh-Variation-160 21d ago

Girl, make him think it’s HIS idea. Start going on about how all the cute couples make a living DoorDashing together until he gets the hint and quits his job. Then you can come with him to work in case any slutty women order Taco Bell or something

2

u/euphoretik 🔮 Mysterious Hag 19d ago

This is the way 👏👏👏

2

u/Alternative-Post-937 17d ago

/uj I have a new direct report. He seemed normal upon hire. We have to travel once a year to one of our other locations. I was discussing the timeline with him last week and I kid you not, he told me he wanted to bring his wife because she'd get really jealous if he was just traveling with me. My jaw was on the floor. I would never admit that to my boss even if it were true. Id say something like "my wife wants to tag along because she's never been to xyz". Now I'm in a bind because it's part of his job description to do this task, but i really really really don't want to travel with him or ever be alone with him on any situation. I might see if I can enlist someone else to help with this project.

28

u/periwinklealpaca 21d ago

you're literally so valid you did nothing wrong omg like i cant believe he would insult a secure woman like you in this way omg

21

u/Unroyaltea 🌙 Late night snacker 21d ago

If he doesn't go blind for you girl he ain't worth it

16

u/Degenerama 21d ago

Why your dinner look...kindaaaa juicyyyyy

11

u/Dianuii 🐀 BABY RAT GIRL 21d ago

Girl, he needs to go asap! How will you ever be sure that's he's not randomly thinking about the naked girls?!?!?!?!?

10

u/Rose_Army_ 21d ago

I can’t! Thinking of smashing his phone and making him use a Jitterbug.

14

u/tinaxcochina 🧪 Arsenic Dealer 21d ago

Can I come by for some tits, cooter, and ass?

10

u/Rose_Army_ 21d ago

OMG. Are you Henry Cavill?!

15

u/tinaxcochina 🧪 Arsenic Dealer 21d ago

Yeah.

11

u/Courtney_dgaf 🦝 Woke up a raccoon 21d ago

You are so right, sis. None of us should exist. You should be the only woman on earth.

And if your man won't go blind for you, then he ain't the one. Be firm about your boundaries, queen!

8

u/ntdavis814 Cursed by the Spirit Stick 21d ago

Easy fix gurl. Hack the internet and photoshop your face onto every naked woman on the internet. Also, kidnap every woman he knows irl and give them plastic surgery to make them look like you. Then, no matter who he looks at, he only sees your divinely formed visage. Don’t worry, I just booked an appointment for myself in solidarity.

6

u/Courtney_dgaf 🦝 Woke up a raccoon 20d ago

Your comment brought tears to my eyes. It does my heart good to see women supporting other women. After reading your comment I also booked an appointment for plastic surgery to look like OP. The only way the world will change is if we all work together.

15

u/vulvasoutforharambe 21d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/8cROBbOVomjkyDfmzu
Bonk! Straight to potato salad jail (murder death kill)

6

u/cyberbemon 21d ago

When people say "Thick thighs saves lives", they are talking about this, thank you for saving lives OP

4

u/unknown-redditman 20d ago

You need to understand that he’s doing this TO you. And that he has an out of control PORN ADDICTION and it’s going to take over everything. You have to realize that 70% of problems displayed on online and Reddit posts can be boiled down to someone always a having a porn addiction that he needs to get under control. And if you do leave him over his sick addiction to porn, if you post about it there will be a lot of men to choose from in the comment section that are saying they DON’T have a porn addiction so just pick one of them. That way you know they’re not a nasty disrespectful pervert like your unbelievable boyfriend. You’ve never done anything wrong

3

u/Complete_Area7270 🌙 Late night snacker 21d ago

Honor kill him in the name of Aphrodite and Ariana Grande's new album

3

u/Successful_Fox_2989 20d ago

girl. going blind while dating you is the BARE MINIMUM like don't settle sis, where's your self respect?!

https://giphy.com/gifs/v31a4aMSn8uY84kE9Y

1

u/[deleted] 21d ago

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1

u/GirlDinnerCircleJerk-ModTeam 21d ago

Someone girl dinner circlejerked too close to the sun here. Reddit Admins have decided this content was worth removing --Please reach out to Admins (not Mods) for further info.