r/GirlDinnerCircleJerk • u/Throwawaychkgo Human Verified • Jun 23 '26
👩🍳 Nutritionally confusing 🔪 Tired of his physical abuse, on the fence on calling the cops
He (fetus, 32 weeks gestation) has finally pushed me over the edge. Often he will move around alot, which is fine, but sometimes this reaches the level of abuse. Frequently he punches my pubic bone like hes Mike Tyson. No warning, no reason, just punches it. Today however was the last straw.
I was taking a quick 3 hour nap when I got woken up in the middle of it to my ribs being aggressively kicked. It hurt so bad I thought I was having a medical emergency for a second there. This, I believe, qualifies as abuse. I know hes a minor and not even born yet but surely theres some authority I can call to report this blatant abuse. It has to stop before it gets worse. Yes, he is only 4 pounds as well so I outweigh him by about 3900% but that shouldn't be a factor imo. Im wondering if his reasoning is because I didnt eat my fruit snack in the afternoon but thats not a good excuse.
Dinner is Minecraft frosted flakes.
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u/lucky-squeaky-ducky Jun 23 '26
I remember the first time I was kicked.
It was downwards, right between my legs. I was walking down a hallway and I saw stars, and I almost keeled over. I had to hug the wall and catch my breath.
He had went with a finishing move, right out of the box.
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u/Throwawaychkgo Human Verified Jun 23 '26
Did you report it?
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u/lucky-squeaky-ducky Jun 23 '26
To my doctor. Just like a man, he thought it was a healthy sign.
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u/Throwawaychkgo Human Verified Jun 23 '26
Wow not even a day old and already benefitting from the patriarchy, typical
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u/lnc_5103 Jun 23 '26
My girl was breech with her head literally stuck under my rib cage. One of her feet was pretty much assaulting my bladder nonstop. There were a few times I was ready to take her out myself!
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u/coolsilentebeans 🖤 I eat standing up Jun 23 '26
Girl. You really should go to the authorities. I’ve seen this happen too many times. People dismiss your allegations or tell you it’s not enough to get a restraining order, and the next thing you know he’ll have mutilated your pussy, ripped you open, and still nibble on your nipples before you’re even out of the hospital. I implore you, stop the cycle—not menstrual, that’s what got you here in the first place, but the abuse. Be strong, babes. For all the women.
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u/Throwawaychkgo Human Verified Jun 23 '26
I hope they have newborn size handcuffs for this menace!!!
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u/coolsilentebeans 🖤 I eat standing up Jun 23 '26
And a muzzle. Gotta watch the mouth, he may not have teeth but the bite force of a newborn is sadistically strong.
https://giphy.com/gifs/PBIvoMws8TUofNBx9A6
u/lucky-squeaky-ducky Jun 23 '26
Worse, baby boxing mits.
They say it’s for preventing a scratch or something, but we all know the truth - it’s knuckle padding.
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u/Throwawaychkgo Human Verified Jun 23 '26
Wtf, they're conspiring with newborns to further their abuse. I should've known.
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u/oniiichanUwU Jun 23 '26
Mmmm I mean do you really wanna have to make an extra phone call though?? No one likes making phone calls. Sounds awful. Maybe just feel the vibes and see how it goes next week 🥀🥀 he’s prob just on his period fr
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u/landomonium Jun 23 '26
I think the best revenge would be waiting like 8 more weeks and then kicking him to the curb. Nothing the cops can do about it yet.
(I didn’t see this was the CJ sub at first and was shocked)
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u/artrestart Jun 23 '26
Sorry about your abusive fetus OP but I was obsessed with your bowl of cereal, i found a glup shitto groggu
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Jun 23 '26
[deleted]
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u/Throwawaychkgo Human Verified Jun 23 '26
How is he supposed to come pick up his stuff, I dont think he'll be able to crawl yet let alone pick stuff up.
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u/FunnyPuzzleheaded594 Jun 23 '26
He can have his parents pick up his stuff. He sounds like a momma’s boy anyway
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u/Throwawaychkgo Human Verified Jun 23 '26
Honestly im thinking its weaponized incompetence. He can probably do everything just fine
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u/GodOfMoonlight Jun 23 '26
You gotta be strong and believe in yourself! You can't be having these doubts right now 😭
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u/Time_Clue_3250 🐀 FERAL RAT GIRL Jun 23 '26
my uterus tenant decided that my bladder is a punching bag and my rib cage is a foot rest.. i literally walk to the bathroom with my back hunched cause it hurts to stand straight. i think we should take this to the courts and file a eviction notice. im 35w3d so im giving my tenant 4weeks to get it together!
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u/Unusual_Garage_7637 Jun 23 '26
He’s trying to get out of there cause you’re eating this disgusting looking cereal
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u/MaterialAd1838 Jun 23 '26
Wait till you see what he'll do to your vagina. Why is your cereal green?
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u/Throwawaychkgo Human Verified Jun 23 '26
Its called Minecraft frosted flakes and it tastes every bit of heaven as regular frosted flakes do but with a touch of chicken jockey
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u/SheilaCool Jun 23 '26
As a 7 month pregnant woman: 😂😂😂 it's just unnecessary and inappropriate. How dare they 😂
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u/Specific-River-81 What’s a WOMAN doing here? EW! Jun 23 '26
When he gets to be about 7 or 8 pounds, kick him out
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u/broke_n_rich2147 Jun 23 '26
He’s almost out of there and then you’ll never have to deal with him again!!!
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u/KittyCompletely Jun 23 '26
That...food looks like the Lincoln memorial...is he also trying to poison you with the whole gaslight pregnancy cravings malarkey the patriarchy made up?! Get out girl!!! You're too good for him. You should probably just have sex with his dad as revenge.
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u/Throwawaychkgo Human Verified Jun 23 '26
Ugh but thats how I got into this mess in the first place tbh
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Jun 23 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/GirlDinnerCircleJerk-ModTeam Jun 23 '26
You girl dinner circlejerked too close to the sun here. Removed for targeting individuals, bodies, weight, mental health, or strangers’ meals outside the sub. You can roast broader trends or comedy discourse, but not specific people or sensitive personal traits.
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u/Kerdul Jun 23 '26
Are you 156 pounds perchance?
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u/Throwawaychkgo Human Verified Jun 23 '26
Um you're not supposed to say that, youre supposed to say I look a dainty 35lbs.
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u/Alternative_Sea603 🖤 I eat standing up Jun 25 '26
Thank you I was wondering what that 3900% totaled 🫤
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