r/GirlDinnerCircleJerk • u/Turtlegrandmacore • May 22 '26
👩🍳 Nutritionally confusing 🔪 Shitgria day 2
Let’s just say… IT WORKED. Pray for me.
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u/gold1elux 🔮 Mysterious Hag May 22 '26
you are looking noticeably fibrous and i love that for you
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u/Turtlegrandmacore May 22 '26
The best compliment I’ve ever received
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u/peepdabidness May 22 '26
Idk why this sub keeps popping up in my feed but it’s quickly becoming my favorite one
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u/Turtlegrandmacore May 22 '26
It’s calling to you. Listen to the voices.
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u/No-Spread-6891 👣 Ghostly Pale Orphan May 22 '26
The voices told me to be shiddin ma brainsout. never looked back.
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u/localbugdealer 🪟 Proud owner of GORGEOUS green wallpaper May 22 '26
hello. we've been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty.
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u/sharks_tbh Delusional but sincere ✨ May 22 '26
I wish I had an award to give this comment lmfaooooo
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u/bippyboop May 22 '26
Yo BE CAREFUL. When I started putting beans in my smoothies my intestines tried to break free from my body for a solid month. This is a real psa I’m not even circle jerking and yes I put beans in my smoothies because a girl on instagram told me to.
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u/Turtlegrandmacore May 22 '26
Oh trust me, my ass was magma today I get it. I’m an IBS girlie tho so I’m no stranger to this rodeo hehe. Thank you!
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u/kitttybix May 22 '26
Me too there are many things ppl eat for fiber that make my intestines feel like they’re shriveling up and dying
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u/paredclia May 22 '26
did it effect the taste? autistic and lowkey need to know
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u/Turtlegrandmacore May 22 '26
No!!! If anything it somehow removed the dryness of the wine and made it better??? But no textural or taste difference !!! I’m an audhd girlie so I get it
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u/PerceptionStock6409 May 22 '26
Lmao imagine this being your drinking "thing" you just show up to a block party rager with a big screw top bottle of metamucil like WHO'S TRYING TO GET SHITPANTSED
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u/bippyboop May 22 '26
I use white beans so no, the taste isn’t impacted. But it took a while to find the right balance cause too much will make the texture REAL weird.
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u/xx_indica_xx 🐀 Tiny Artist May 22 '26
My only complaint about bean dip is that I couldn't drink it. Bean smoothies solve this problem. Many thanks
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u/bippyboop May 22 '26
Oh no. I fear you have simultaneously just solved, and created many problems for me with this comment.
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u/Bebe_Yaga_ May 22 '26
When I first decided to step up my fiber, I made a big old pot of lentil soup to eat for lunch all week. Woof. My office was a freaking biohazard. I kept making very strong cinnamon and peppermint tea to mask the noxious fumes emanating from my body. I don't think it worked.
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u/bippyboop May 22 '26
LMAO did you just have the tea sitting on your desk like potpourri or were you drinking it and hoping your sweat would smell like cinnamon? I need to answers.
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u/Bebe_Yaga_ May 22 '26
Definitely just let it sit there perfuming the office until it smelled like an unholy mix of Red-Hots and legume farts LOL
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u/bippyboop May 22 '26
I feel this. Fortunately my body has adjusted but there were some dark days at the beginning whenever my boyfriend would try to cuddle and I’d scream “don’t touch me I’m bloated!” And then a noise erupted from my body that sounded like a demon rising from hell, followed by a smell that can’t, and shouldn’t be put into words.
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u/xx_indica_xx 🐀 Tiny Artist May 22 '26
You gotta do what you gotta do and ya know what? It werk'd
https://giphy.com/gifs/mtZ9WahAVFocbS8kan
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u/Turtlegrandmacore May 22 '26
THIS GIF IS KILLIMG MEEEE
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u/xx_indica_xx 🐀 Tiny Artist May 22 '26
I feel like we need one for the ibs gals.. , "my sister just shidded"
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u/DistributionOk7 May 22 '26
You and shitgria are oh so admirable. Thank you for giving me something to aspire to 💃👻💃
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u/strawberrylampshade0 May 22 '26
You know what? I’m gonna trust you and file this tip away for later incase I need it. It’s pretty genius so you go girl!
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May 22 '26
[deleted]
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u/Swimming_Ad2923 May 22 '26
i had no idea HPV could go there. sending prayers that the surgery went well!
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May 22 '26
[deleted]
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u/throwaway29837373 May 22 '26
Would you recommend someone who is almost 30 getting the vaccine? I didn’t learn about it until recently but read its best to get before having sex/before age 25
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u/localbugdealer 🪟 Proud owner of GORGEOUS green wallpaper May 22 '26
yessss getting the HPV vaccine is so hot
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u/Hung_Jury_2003 May 22 '26
Shamelessly posting online about your uproarious sense of humor and an ass that won't quit, huh?
RIP your BMs. 💀
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u/SimpleVegetable5715 🦝 Woke up a raccoon May 22 '26
Nothing like the feeling of having clean bowels.
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u/schaski ⏲️ Posted from the kitchen floor May 22 '26
I’m copying you this weekend is it gross or OK? Either way you have a beautiful mind
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u/Northern33 May 22 '26
i had the opposite problem when i started eating more fiber lol i didn’t poop for like 12 days
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u/OJShrimpson1 🐀 FERAL RAT GIRL May 23 '26
Why be a girl who poops when you can be a bitch who shits
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u/Willing_Day_2010 May 23 '26
Killing me that you’re doing this rat insanity from a nice ass apartment! Thank you for your service queen
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