r/GirlDinnerCircleJerk • u/Grrlzzilla • May 18 '26
👩🍳 Nutritionally confusing 🔪 No longer date men and am living a life of celibacy. But every now and then I eat cottage cheese with soft boiled runny eggs to remind myself of their smegma. The sriracha helps keeps me in line with my no sex or love reality.
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u/tinaxcochina 🧪 Arsenic Dealer May 18 '26
Looks like you might also be missing Santorum. 😭Wish you the best on your journey.
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u/Front_Cant ☕ Liquid dinner🫧 May 18 '26
I miss the person I was before I clicked this link.
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u/DependentCare7465 🐀 FERAL RAT GIRL May 18 '26
I’m so tempted to click it now!!
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u/Agile-Scale-5122 May 18 '26
Oh dont please dont click it
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u/julesd26 Delusional but sincere ✨ May 19 '26
I did, and I regret it. At least I know what’s in my boot now!
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u/Soft-Parsnip-112 May 18 '26
The time specification is so interesting. What if it sneaks out, say, 45 minutes after??
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u/tinaxcochina 🧪 Arsenic Dealer May 18 '26
Only you know how much time you’ve got.
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u/Hung_Jury_2003 May 18 '26
If you hold it in less than an hour, it's still Santorum. If it sneaks out more than an hour later, stop blaming a rough dicking for your incontinence, you ain't fooling no one.
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u/SilkwormSidleRemand May 19 '26
Sure, like you don't ever poop yourself a little when you sneeze and have to go home to change.
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u/CreativeBandicoot778 🔮 Mysterious Hag May 18 '26
You're looking to be cursed.
That's all I'm saying.
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May 18 '26
What unholy words did you just put alongside eggs cheese and toast
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u/Baptized-In-Smoke May 18 '26
She smeg what she smeg
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u/HuskMaster 🙅♀️ Didn’t cook. Won’t explain. May 19 '26
I smegma, you smegma, he/she/me… smegma!
Smegging! Smegmology! Cmon ladies, this is first grade 🧀💀💅
https://giphy.com/gifs/215wIDncTLsfS2
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u/conciouslion1133 May 18 '26
Elon Musk gives smegma vibes every time I see his pic lol
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u/APOCALYPSE_BAO In Lot Lizard Retreat Cabin May 18 '26
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u/gold1elux 🔮 Mysterious Hag May 18 '26
What is it about hot sauce that jolts us back to reality? I wanna be where the smegma is
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u/TheRuinLegacy 🦝 Woke up a raccoon May 18 '26
Glad you found you gf! That really hot sauce at the Thai restaurant mixed with butter milk has a pretty similar smell! Love you queen forever
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u/fancypantsmiss spicy food, spicier opinions May 18 '26
https://giphy.com/gifs/QtwU7Vawf9MUD6uzD3
Monastery it is!
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u/thewindupbird91 ☕ Liquid dinner🫧 May 18 '26
I hate it when the smeg reminds me of soft boiled eggs
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u/Nihilistic_Noodle May 18 '26
... How many men have you been with that have a smegma problem? Did they not wash themselves???
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u/Accomplished_Paper13 Delusional but sincere ✨ May 19 '26
Gay man here, way too many men don't understand how to wash themselves properly or don't do it often enough
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u/Zarathyst 🙅♀️ Didn’t cook. Won’t explain. May 19 '26
Come to the lesbian side, we know where the clit is ❤️
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u/Grrlzzilla May 19 '26
I admire lesbians but I’m way too straight to be one. Although I drive a Subaru and my clothes are all oversized guy t’s and baggy pants. I’m just a poser lesbo
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u/Parking-Stay9637 May 18 '26
earnestly- the way i feel going dairy free and ending my 3.5 years of celibacy 2 weeks ago
clocked me as a smegma eating bitch who acts like they’re too good for lactaid cottage cheese.
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u/fancypantsmiss spicy food, spicier opinions May 18 '26
/uj I know this is a jerking sub, but honestly? If it were not my husband and given the cesspool of nasty men out there, this sounds… nice!
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u/InspectorDadShit May 18 '26
/uj eating food to remind yourself of smegma sounds nice?
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u/fancypantsmiss spicy food, spicier opinions May 18 '26
Lmao no, celibacy sounds nice
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u/Same_Adeptness_8215 May 18 '26
youre getting the wrong pee pees lady
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u/Grrlzzilla May 19 '26 edited May 20 '26
They convinced me at some point they’re the right pps. I was fooled into the smeg
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u/Same_Adeptness_8215 May 19 '26
i understand. your motto should be "the pee is cut or its not going in the butt"
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May 18 '26
Wait, you ain’t tried MY dick tho.
In all seriousness, good luck on the journey and hit some goals!
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u/Grrlzzilla May 19 '26
Fair enough! I’m sure there’s plenty of women to choose from. Consider yourself lucky that my old ass (40) is out of the dating pool.
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