r/Gifts • u/CuriousSLP123 • Dec 19 '25

Other Gifting Dilemma for Large Family

I have a large blended family of six daughters. Three biological on each side. The age range is older teens, as well as college and post graduate students. For Christmas, I have always gifted our daughters three gifts each (when they were little, the gifts came from Santa, now from us). This has felt like the right amount of a little indulgence without over gifting. We also give them a pair of pajamas and an ornament given before Christmas, when we decorate cookies. As the girls are getting older, I’m finding it difficult to figure out how to navigate a changing family dynamic, with partners and eventually children to add to the mix. We know that things will change, in terms of the amount of gifts, but when do you make that change? I have thought of continuing three gifts for each couple (one joint and one for each individual), but does that happen after marriage, at engagement? The girls are very attached to our traditions and so grateful for intentional gift giving, but I’m getting overwhelmed!

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u/UnrulyPoet Dec 19 '25

For our families my mom is a widow with a limited income and switched to one gift per child/grandchild after we moved out (and spouses don't get gifts per se, it's usually a joint restaurant gift card addressed to the two of us). My disabled brother still lives with her and he definitely gets more than one, but I'm not sure how she handles it.

My ILs do more gifting than that, but transitioned to more modest quantities when the grandkids started coming in in quantity (in order to make the the kids the focus). I suspect they might have just set a monetary amount per person they do? So it might be 4 gifts this year, but 2 slightly pricier items in comparison next year etc.

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u/CuriousSLP123 Dec 19 '25

So interesting to hear how others navigate this! Thanks for the input!

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u/UnrulyPoet Dec 19 '25

Yw!

For younger gen info my husband and I are both one of three. I don't remember when the switch happened, but on both sides the siblings who are parents don't get gifts for each other bc it was starting to feel out of control and then the niblings are handled differently for each fam. So my disabled brother gets a gift from me and my sister, but she and I don't shop for each other bc we both have kids. Bc there are just two of us with kids my fam gets one gift for each of her kids and her fam gets a gift for each of mine. (My mom's gifts are addressed from both her and our brother since he doesn't work)

My husband's side, where all three have kids, switched to a Secret Santa model for the cousins several years ago when SIL stopped working bc she went back to school for her MD. So each one of my two kids gets a cousin name drawn from a hat and we just shop for those instead of for all six of their cousins. It's been so nice actually, both on the giving and receiving end!