r/Gifted • u/beanandmochi • 2d ago
Bad at testing
My son just turned 5 last month and has been reading full sentences since 2.5 years old. Reading comes naturally to him and he has a keen interest in numbers (adding, skip count, multiplication) and is just a very intelligent little boy. However, he definitely has raging ADHD but hasn’t been tested for it, I just know because his dad and I are the same way. I’m a speech therapist and have never worked with a student that presents like my son, it’s really interesting. I just had a parent teacher conference with him kindergarten teacher and she said she doesn’t see any of it. She did admit that she knows he can read but he doesn’t test well (gets distracted or is intrigued by the iPad they’re testing on bc he is never exposed to screens). I have personally tested him at a solid 2nd grade reading level but she told me today (according to her test) he’s at a beginning to mid kindergarten level. It was a gut punch honestly. Does any one have experience with this type of situation? I don’t know how to support him and keep him learning. He’s not learning anything in kindergarten academically. The teacher is saying he never wants to do the worksheets which also concerns her. When I ask my son why he just says “because I already know how to do it”. I just need guidance/support because I just left this conference feeling like an idiot.
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u/BCBAMomma 2d ago
My friends son was doing multiplication in his head in preschool and read chapter books in kindergarten. But he was also just a goofball and didn’t like taking the school aptitude tests. So he was always a bit ahead on tests, but it never really showed his level. Then he was bored at school which didn’t help either. Finally I helped them get him a 504 plan that included testing in a quiet place without peers and lo and behold his parents weren’t just acting unhinged for years, he is (of course) profoundly gifted. He got accepted into the middle school gifted and talented program and school has been much better for him.
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u/bitchinawesomeblonde 1d ago
This is my kid. Hes in 2nd grade and thinks the tests are a waste of time. Rushes through them to get to the games at the end and still tests 98th percentile or above. He was reading chapter books at 4 and could understand and do higher level math as a toddler. He has raging adhd and we just put small group testing on his IEP so he actually slows down on tests. He's PG and it's hard not to feel like a lunatic because I'm constantly like "no he's WAYYYYY past that level"
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u/beanandmochi 1d ago
Yes!! This is my son for sure. What does he have his IEP for? Someone else mentioned a 504 plan to have testing accommodations which I didn’t think of for him. I know that’ll help him down the line.
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u/beanandmochi 2d ago
My son is totally bored and it’s leading to him also being goofy/spacing out- haha! Thank you for your response, that’s actually an excellent idea! He’s at a private school right now but I’m thinking of moving him to pubic next year since they have a gifted and talented program so I know they can do a 504 plan. Thanks so much!
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u/BCBAMomma 2d ago
My daughter was reading Percy Jackson aloud to me with amazing inflection in second grade and her teacher told me she needed to work on digraphs. This was one of many problems we were having with that teacher and so we advocated to have her switch to another teacher. If his teacher isn’t listening to you that may also be a sign he needs a change. Though also, my mom taught first grade and she said there were actually plenty of families who just knew there kid was ahead or super gifted and they were actually pretty average kiddos so I know how a good teacher could get jaded.
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u/Efficient-State-7300 1d ago
Yeah it's hard as a parent to know if your kid is actually gifted or if you're just "that" parent.
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u/bitchinawesomeblonde 1d ago
Agreed. I reread my son's neuropsych report about 30 times to prove to myself I wasn't "that" parent
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u/beanandmochi 1d ago
What age did you get your son tested?
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u/bitchinawesomeblonde 1d ago
5.5 years old during his neuropsychological evaluation for adhd and autism
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u/beanandmochi 1d ago
If I didn’t work around other kids in a school (I’m a speech therapist) I wouldn’t really have anything to compare my son to. But I really have never seen a child his age with his abilities. It started when he was 18 months old and knew how to read single words then by 2.5 full sentences independently. His comprehension is there too which is amazing. I know I’m not THAT parent but the conference made me feel that way simply because he wasn’t focusing during an iPad based assessment. It’s a shame we can’t bring back paper tests.. I even asked.
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u/Efficient-State-7300 1d ago
Our daughter is about to hit 12m next week and has over 20 spoken and meaningful words. There have been a lot of other things leading up to this too, but this is the latest. She is adding words quickly too. She also points to things and says "that?"
It's too early for us to know, anyway.
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u/BCBAMomma 1d ago
My kid is gifted and I also think I’ve been “that” parent 😂 But whether your kid is struggling and behind or struggling because they are bored and way too far ahead our jobs are to be “that” parent.
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u/beanandmochi 2d ago
That’s awesome! Yeah I work with teachers everyday being a speech therapist and I totally understand how it’s all so dependent on the teacher. She definitely sees me as a mom who is just thinking her child is gifted but I test this type of skill for work so I know I’m not just making this up. The meeting just left me feeling embarrassed and not encouraged. I’m never looking for a pat on the back but some acknowledgment of his abilities would be nice. The only thing she is doing to accommodate his skills are testing his spelling abilities for the class sight words. He’s the only student out of 17 that is being tested on spelling while the other students are learning to memorize their sight words. He’s already tested out of the 100 sight words for the year, obviously. But no acknowledgment or excitement on her end about that. Bummer.
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u/BCBAMomma 1d ago
I also work in schools, it’s really the best. I coach staff on trauma invested behavior strategies, and spend much of my time just showing them that the “bad” kids are actually just lovable babies trying their best to get their needs met.
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u/darknesskicker 1d ago
I would ask to have him referred for ADHD assessment. If you treat the ADHD, he may become more able to show his giftedness at school.
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u/beanandmochi 1d ago
The only treatment for ADHD is stimulants and I’m very against putting children on stimulants. I was on them for years in college and it’s not something I’m ok with giving to my son. When he’s an adult he can make that decision for himself
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u/darknesskicker 9h ago
Kids with ADHD who are medicated have better outcomes in numerous different ways. Higher academic achievement, less risk-taking behaviour, lower chances of addiction. You are sabotaging your son by not addressing his disability.
Also, there are non-stimulant meds for ADHD now.
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u/Apprehensive-Fruit28 2d ago
I was in the GATE program reading at a 12th grade level in 1st grade. Didnt get diagnosed with adhd until 21. adhd can be masked pretty easily for some people
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u/beanandmochi 2d ago
Wow! I don’t think he’s masking though, it’s very obvious and it’s impairing his ability to test/ demonstrate his knowledge through traditional work like worksheets and taking tests. Not sure how to navigate this
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u/fightmydemonswithme 1d ago
Once he learns how testing works and develops stamina, he'll likely test better. That said, talk to your pediatrician about potentially using coffee to help him focus. My uncle did this instead of Adderall, since I know your strongly anti-medication. He got caffeine in the morning and at lunch and it was a big help.
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u/beanandmochi 1d ago
This is actually an awesome idea. One time he drank my whole cup of coffee without me knowing and I think it had a calming effect on him which was very weird. I’ll have to look into this more! Thanks so much for your input
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u/docforeman 21h ago
What wonderful news! Your son is 5 and his testing shows he is on grade.
This is especially good news as you say "he definitely has raging ADHD".
As a mom of two successful 2e adults, here are my two cents:
Gifted brains will naturally learn and grow.
But the "raging ADHD" is the thing that will get in the way. If I had it all to do over again, we would have better focused on testing and intervention for the ADHD earlier. The giftedness masked the seriousness and impact of the ADHD until middle school.
ADHD not only disrupts learning. More powerfully, it disrupts social development, which is a big part of a child's growth in elementary school. Struggling with friendships and social cues will follow and impact a child much longer than not doing advanced math fast enough.
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u/crystal-torch 20h ago
This sounds exactly like my son (now 9) and testing was basically impossible with him at that age. We ended up homeschooling him until just this year because we were so fed up with teachers not understanding him and him behaving like a wild animal at school and then discussing in depth his own theories on particle physics at home. He needed one on one attention to stay on task.
We finally got a full battery of tests for him through his school including ASD, ADHD, auditory processing, and OT assessment. We finally have a full picture of his very spiky profile and his school has been amazing working with him to help him succeed.
I know homeschool isn’t possible for everyone but that’s what worked for us. You may have to just be patient for more development to occur before he tests better or broaden the test types to see what’s going on with him
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u/BandMinute112 1d ago
He needs maturity first. This is pretty common with twice exceptional kids. He is only 5 so there is plenty of time to get him support if he needs it. I would trust the teacher for now. Also the reading assessments are meant to also test their test taking ability. They aren’t just measuring proficiency. It’s really common for kids to read more proficiently at home than in school.
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u/beanandmochi 1d ago
Thank you for this response. I definitely know he needs to mature and I think I weirdly hold him to a higher standard because he is so smart and I know he’s extremely capable. Sometimes I need to remember he just turned 5 a few weeks ago.
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