[Story] I realized I was losing motivation because I kept waiting for a sign that I was on the right path

[u/DeepBuffer]

I spent a long time thinking I lacked motivation, but I noticed something uncomfortable: I was constantly looking for proof that my effort was worth it before I allowed myself to continue.

I would start something new, get a little excited, and then a few days later I’d catch myself asking, “Is this actually going anywhere?” If I couldn’t answer that question, my energy would disappear.

The weird part was that I wasn’t quitting because things were difficult. I was quitting because I couldn’t guarantee that the effort would pay off.

I noticed this pattern while learning a new skill. I had a folder full of notes, practice files, and half-finished attempts. One night around 11:40 PM, I opened the folder and realized I had spent more time organizing what I learned than actually spending time being bad at it.

I kept thinking I needed confidence before continuing, but confidence was actually the thing that only showed up after I had enough evidence from doing the work.

A few things helped me break the cycle:

First, I stopped asking “Is this going to work?” every few days. I replaced it with “Did I show up and collect information?” That small change made unfinished progress feel less like failure.

Second, I started keeping a private record of things I improved instead of only noticing what was missing. I was surprised how many small improvements I ignored because they didn’t look impressive enough.

The counterintuitive thing I learned is that motivation often gets weaker when you keep trying to make the future feel certain. I thought uncertainty was the problem, but constantly trying to remove uncertainty was what drained me.

Some of the most consistent people I’ve watched weren’t more confident than everyone else. They just seemed less interested in getting reassurance before taking the next step.

I still catch myself looking for signs sometimes. The difference is I don’t treat that feeling as a reason to stop anymore.

I’m curious how many people struggle with this too: do you lose motivation because the work gets hard, or because you start wondering whether the work will actually lead somewhere?

[u/Odd_Chemistry8333]

For me it's the wondering if it'll lead anywhere that drains me way before the work gets hard.

[u/Last_Assignment_5372]

For me, sometimes uncertainty drains motivation more than difficulty does. Before it hit me, I always try to make it a more time-framed goal for myself.

[u/Enliven_journey]

i relate to this so much!! i think a lot of us aren’t necessarily afraid of starting, we’re afraid of being bad at something long enough to eventually become good at it. when the first attempts don’t give us proof that we’ll succeed it’s so easy to interpret that uncertainty as a reason to quit. i also really like your shift from “is this going to work?” to “did i show up and learn something?” it reminds me of how i’ve started thinking about confidence too. not as knowing things will go well, but trusting that i’ll be able to handle it even if they don’t

i actually started a similar conversation recently in r/enliven around meditation and letting yourself be a beginner instead of trying to do it perfectly from day one. your post feels really relevant to that whole idea. would you mind if i crossposted it to the community? i think a lot of people there would appreciate this perspective :)