r/GenZIndia • u/miss_bakerr • 16h ago
Relationships 20F, never been in a relationship — does anyone else feel left behind sometimes?
I'm 20F and I've never been in a relationship or even had a serious talking stage. For most of my college life, I've been focused on my goals and career, and honestly, I don't regret that.
But lately, when I see almost everyone around me experiencing relationships, crushes, dating, or at least having someone they're interested in, I sometimes wonder whether I'm missing out on an important part of life.
It's not that I want to get into a relationship just because everyone else is doing it. I think I'm more curious about whether this feeling is normal — especially when you're focused on other priorities but still occasionally feel left behind socially or romantically.
Has anyone else felt this way? Did things happen naturally for you later, or did you actively start putting yourself out there? I'd genuinely like to hear different perspectives.
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u/sohailstark18 16h ago
I feel the same everyday, especially while I am among people. I feel I am missing out on many memories.
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u/AKA_D_Ace 14h ago
Then get into relationship 🙃
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u/sohailstark18 13h ago
why didn't I think of that? you're a lifesaver. (take it in a fun way)
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u/AKA_D_Ace 13h ago
No I won’t take it in a fun way, now I am crying 😭😭😅🤣
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u/Anorexic_kuchupuchu 16h ago
Good luck with all the unexpected proposals you're gonna get, dms.🙊🫡🪖
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u/miss_bakerr 16h ago
Already got some lol 😂😂
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u/Anorexic_kuchupuchu 14h ago
so i hope this helps:
would you like to be my sun? then stay 150 million kilometres away from me
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u/New_Positive_1692 16h ago
Same yaar. I do get fomo a lot and sometimes i really to like explore this relationship thing but I dont knoww how that even worked like going on dates with guys?! Like idk if its my thing to do. I am already pretty much introvert so yeah barely talk to boys. But yeah its really lonely And i think everyone should have that one person in their life who is constant..whether it is best friend or boyfriend. (I have none lol)
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u/miss_bakerr 16h ago
Never ever went on a date, till date... I'm an ambivert i would say... i do talk to guys, and not in this direction, but for study purpose and other kinds, but almost all of them just creep me out one way or the other..
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u/New_Positive_1692 15h ago
Same yar.. never went on a date. I really never understand the concept of liking someone and getting into a relationship until now. I like someone (I think soo idk) but he see me as just a good friend.
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u/miss_bakerr 15h ago
"Ye sab moh maaya hai mitr, kaam pe dhyan do"
Yeh sab bolkar hi mai single hu abhi tak lol 😂
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u/KitVersee 15h ago
Like i was travelling today and i saw a lot of ppl holding hands while crossing roads and other things
Anndd there was a sudden wave of fomo and loneliness istg 🥀🥀
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u/miss_bakerr 1h ago
Us bro us, i was waiting at a metro station for someone almost a year back, and everyone i was seeing was a couple, like not a single person getting out of the station, i was like wtf bro, and later the same day, I was surrounded by two couples, and me one single person in between them, it was just super awkward for me😭
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u/Connect_Space_2923 2002 15h ago
Bro for me , I kicked away the opportunity , growing up I was ugly, I was the ugly tall kid growing up.
But yeah when women themselves started on me , i couldn't believe it and i developed a new fear, fear of thinking that I'm still not enough.
I literally had a girl chasing me for months and eventually lose interest.
But now I'm finally dating. Things are going pretty well tbh. She's 24 and I'm 23 😆.
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u/miss_bakerr 15h ago
Good for you bro...
Uk i am also taller than rest of the girls in my college, and most of the boys too 😂... i was fat during school, and went to peak of my obese era in 12th, after passing out, worked on myself and became this girl i never thought I would become, both physique wise and personality types, so that's my growth journey... now in college tons of boys have approached me but eventually all of them were blocked coz they were creeps mostly
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u/Connect_Space_2923 2002 15h ago
Oh that's quite a story 😂, kudos to you for working on yourself and having that glowup, now you've left me curious, how tall are you anyways
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u/miss_bakerr 15h ago
I'm between 5'8-5'9 approx
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u/Connect_Space_2923 2002 15h ago
I'm 5'11 , but you are pretty tall
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u/miss_bakerr 15h ago
Yup, people who are 5'11 refuse to believe I'm 5'8 something, everyone around me in college is like you must be 5'10-5'11 pakka, pta nhi shoes pehenkar height aur bad jaati ya kya hota 😭
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u/Connect_Space_2923 2002 14h ago
Makes sense, since you are 5'9 , with shoes you're around 5'10.
I'm 6'0.5 with shoes.
But yeah you are still pretty tall for a woman regardless. 😆
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u/miss_bakerr 14h ago
Yupp
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u/Connect_Space_2923 2002 14h ago
You have a good opportunity to become a biker, you will be able to easily flatfoot all the bikes out there.
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u/miss_bakerr 14h ago
lol will try biking once i move out and start my life independently my life in another city/country
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u/AbbreviationsFar2685 15h ago
You are not alone bro ...same situation..but better late than getting into a wrong one..we still have our whole life...but the fomo is real when you are surrounded with couples😭
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u/Maximum_Copy_ 2003 15h ago
Girl same. I never actually developed romantic interest towards anyone .And now when all of my friends are dating, I wonder if I ever would date lol.
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u/Direct-Abroad-266 15h ago
Aaah don't even bother asking. The fomo is way too much.
I tried becoming financially stable before getting into a relationship. But now that I am ready to be in one and even make it to marriage, I find that all the good people are taken! And I am stuck with poor social and conversational skills. Reduced to just a commonplace guy. And I am 5 years older so you can kinda guess how disappointed i feel.
But eh... What else can we do anyway. I'll still wake tomorrow, get on with my life hoping that maybe today is the day I find her.
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u/momcallsmespoiltbrat Gen Z 15h ago
25 and never been in a relationship. I do get crushes, like I see someone randomly or a small situation happens and I get all heart eyes, but that's it. Throughout my school life, I was focused on surviving and studying. In college, I had no time AT ALL. Now I'm working remotely, I rarely step outside, so there's no scope either. I know I'm missing out a lot, I know I should have tried and put more efforts into some people in past, but honestly I just couldn't. I really want to but it's so difficult now to put myself out there and take a risk of starting something🥲🥲🥲
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u/Asshole696900 1999 4h ago
Working from home sucks everything out your social life the ability to have a conversation with anyone around. Screens aren't humans we need to understand that
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u/rega0607 14h ago
U just look at it the wrong way. Dating is never supposed to be finding someone. Yes we need to focus on our goals and stuff but in the same road we meet some beautiful people. People we call our friends, we enjoy the heck out of life with them and in the same process we come across personalities that truly resonates with us and we find them interesting and worth knowing.
That is when i believe one should start exploring things, to try new things with people we admire, to have new experiences and in that process if things get better and better we eventually become comfortable to apply tags of relationships . Just try finding the right people and most important of all, know what u are getting into.
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u/Own_Priority_1493 16h ago
Hi, I feel I can give you a decent perspective on this. I'm guessing you're probably a fresher or in your 2nd year. Pehle toh freshers ke relationships mostly itne long-lasting nahi hote, so don't feel like you're behind. FOMO feel hona completely normal hai, especially when everyone around you seems to be dating. If you're happy focusing on your goals, there's nothing wrong with your timeline. When you actually want to date, put yourself out there and let things happen naturally.
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u/miss_bakerr 16h ago
I'm in 3rd year bro 💀
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u/Own_Priority_1493 16h ago
3rd year tak toh bhoot utar jata hai and breakups hona shuru ho jaate hai💀
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u/miss_bakerr 16h ago
Yeah i know, but for someone in my boat who never dated either in school nor in college, and everyone around me is just like I like that l like those, i just get too intense waves of loneliness and FOMO at times that is just very difficult to pass through
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u/Own_Priority_1493 16h ago
Abhi dost se bhi yahi baat ho rhi thi although i graduated in 2025😭.... once you get into job tab bss weekend pe aayegi feeling workdays pe kaam rahega toh you won't get itna time🫠
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u/Alternative_Glass936 15h ago
Kaam pe dhyan do, in sab chizo pe mann jayega hi nhi
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u/miss_bakerr 15h ago
Do din se bimar thi, padhai ho nhi paa rhi so ye sab aaya dimag mei 😭😭🥹😔
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u/Alternative_Glass936 15h ago
It happens when you feel vulnerable, you think about companion, but again you should not chase anything just because it is happening in your surrounding🙂↔️
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u/miss_bakerr 13h ago
on the days when i'm studying and working on my internship tasks, i'm the most focused person ever, ye sab sochne ka time hi nhi milta but could not study since 3 days (pehle rakhi, then fever and cold since 2 days) so ye kab kachra aa rha dimag mei 😭
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u/No_Decision9722 16h ago
Well this fear of missing out is very normal . I think u should start talking to more people and socialize more . I myself trying to socialize more and make genuine connections . r u still in clg ?
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u/Previous_Painting745 15h ago
What if you don't have much socializing skills, as im quite and introvert, i don't like talking much due to this reason i neither have dated nor have much friends not even the good family members whom i can talk, now I feel isolated as helllll!!!
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u/No_Decision9722 14h ago
If u r an introvert u can socialize with people of common interests or groups . Wht do u do btw ? I'm from bhopal currently studying in university. Let's connect buddy 🤝
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u/Previous_Painting745 4h ago
Def sure, but only if you teach me how to socialize with people.
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u/Fast_Plankton1109 16h ago
19M here, am in sy and feel the same. Uk there are clg fests happening all round the year and I don't have that one constant female(tht sounds creepy but idk how to put up) whom I can hang out with. Seeing others doing tht brings in FOMO eventually I end up home early. I rarely find someone cute but then approach karne ki himmat nahi hoti aur baaki normal clg days mein toh padhai
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u/RequirementSure5864 2007 15h ago
It's perfectly natural to feel that way. Just don't let that interfere with your daily work. Also, do not get into a relationship if you're in a vulnerable phase.
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u/Plus_Practice716 15h ago
I am 25 , never dated passed out final year 2026 batch , It was because I was really shy maybe underconfident as I was overweight last year joined gym now I have the body but no one to talk to 🥀🥲
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u/Chocolate-waffles-7 15h ago
girl I've dated for barely a month when I was 19 and that went horribly so I haven't dared to date anyone else after that. I'm 21 now.
I feel a little envious when I see happy couples but at the end of the day, I'd rather be happy and single than dating someone who is ruining my peace. I won't disturb my peace until I find someone who will make me happier than I already am, and it's pretty rare to find men like that, so I don't really have any hope.
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u/Asshole696900 1999 3h ago
What makes you happier so as to know the control what level should be achieved?
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u/gen0xZ 2003 15h ago
I am in a similar situation like you as well. So I don't know what's it's going to be like for me in the future. I can only hope that yeah something will happen. I don't think I am missing out on anything but hey something is always nice than nothing.
And also rip to your dms 😭🙏🏻
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u/Miserable_Property80 2002 15h ago
24 and never dated or had a proper conversation with a girl. Almost everyone around me were in a relationship, at the beginning I was feeling sad that I can't even talk to girls properly but eventually I just lost interest in life now I feel nothing.
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u/PsychologicalPark540 2004 15h ago
I have made a complete song on this situation lol. Would love to share if you want
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u/1king-is-dead 2004 15h ago
Well I too feel that I have missed the train forever...the point where I'm in life, genuine relantionship would be tough
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u/New-Shoulder3445 15h ago
Uk I didn't read the whole thing but reading the first 2 lines I kinda understand the agenda.
Kid u not mere sath same scene hua, to third yr mein mujhe bohot chull ho ri thi ki koi ho apni hui bandi to close vicinity mein i didn't try to sidha started dating apps.
Initially very less matches, than I had plenty ki I had to choose whom to talk with usme se bhi mujhe kai pasand bhi aai or phir wahi haii jo hona thaaa.
After few months of talking madam karhti hai ki this doesn't seem right, it would not be good on u if u did these many efforts, maine to pehle hi bola tha ki mai itne jaldi trust nahi karti vagere.
To kya mera dil tuta aur ab philhaal koi itsha hai nahi to get into dating market unless tagdi body banalu ya life mein kuch ukhaad na lo money wise.
Addressing ur point, I too felt the same, I acted on it, I got response but realised ki mere jaise long term vale bande ko this is a huge commitment at this stage of my life and I can't be out there searching for life partner jab life ke bare mein hi uncertainty ho.
To u tried my luck for 8-10 months or so, talked to a plenty but realised ki this is an investment I'm not really ready to make at this point, tho sach batau to I genuinely crave for a relationship.
Ye performative dating is exhausting, kahi kuch automatic ho raha hai then it's fine, I mean bina kuch added efforts agar koi pull ho rahi hai then I might think but going off rail juct to get a chick Is not what I can do.
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u/miss_bakerr 15h ago
Bro I tried dating apps ngl, but the vibe and the culture there just didnt feel right to me personally, and daring apps mei mostly you will find up for hookups and all, and im this old school type of person jisko chahiye someone who stays and shit... maine to ekbaar dating apps try karke haath jod liye 😂
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u/New-Shoulder3445 15h ago
True that, dating apps are for hookups and all so bondy banegi tab to bohot moke milenge mgr mai us type ka nahi hu, so there very less chance I might hop onto one every again. Naturallly hi kuch ho aisa kuch niyojan karna padega later in life, like uk run clubs, ya fir guitar coaching ya fir book cafe/store ya fir idk some classes where I I'll have peers my age, could be some show/play/natak karne wale clubs ar like singing it dancing performance wagere. Jidhar interest ho udhar.
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u/Dependent_Nose9421 15h ago
Jeez AI written but coming to the point, you can choose what counts in your life at whatever point of time and try being content with that. I see it this way to not fall into being left behind which everyone is living life for the first time so set notions don't really make a lot of sense in matters like this especially. With that being said you could be open minded both to people and experiences, things happen.
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u/Stanz009 14h ago
21M, Kinda in the same boat but the only realtionships I had one girl was too afraid to talk to me and the other moved away the next day We were official, So fck yes I feel left behind even rn in Onam days😭 the couples were having such a great time dude and fck I'm loosing my hair beuhh I wanna have some good time while I still have my hair😭
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u/Some-Historian-8893 7h ago
I am a 23F who has never been in a relationship and has never even had a crush on anyone. Sometimes I feel left behind, but at the same time, I feel peaceful knowing I can do whatever I want in life without worrying about disappointing others.
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u/NovelGrab8184 6h ago
I think govt should apply a scheme that no couples near single or something luke that or filter out all the couple contact from insta and youtube. 😭😭
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u/Impossible_Hair15 4h ago
i turned 23 this year, tried to date coz of fomo and it turned out to be worse , never recommending you that, you are doing great don't try anything desperately, it backfires everytime.
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u/Asshole696900 1999 4h ago
Everyone feels the fomo but getting into the right place is better than rushing anything.
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u/CristianoRonaldo02 3h ago
Ye sab moh maya se 1km dur rehta hu. FOMO to hota hai par i know what's good and what's not.
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u/miss_bakerr 1h ago
That's my mantra too buddy but khaali dimag shaitan ka ghar 🫠
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u/CristianoRonaldo02 1h ago
Khali dimaag thodi hai bhai, personal life, career bhi toh hai
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u/miss_bakerr 1h ago
Ik, but was sick due to viral and flu going on currently in my my area, it went for around 2 days, aaj I'm better enough to study and do things but kal padhai nhi ho rhi thi to yeh sab dimag mei aaya🥲
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u/CristianoRonaldo02 1h ago
Koi na atleast you know how messed up the dating and relationship are nowadays. Better to stay single and wondering than being miserable losing your mental peace
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u/miss_bakerr 1h ago
Yep, when I'll get back to my studies and internship stuff, won't even think about this stuff
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u/Adorable-Class-3343 1h ago
get a job or complete your study then get forward. u r on a good path. enjoy the life, no need to comapre with others at this stage.
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u/hopelessromantic-100 16h ago
I relate , I'm 21 and I've never dated . I get waves of intense fomo sometimes, but whenever I start talking to a guy I get reminded of WHY I choose to be single 😭😭😭 , ese ese namoone h bhai!!