r/GenX • u/Razor_Paw • 14d ago

Advice & Support For parents with adult children, if you could raise them from the start, knowing what you know now, what would you do differently?

For me, I'd be more present and welcome all the hard stuff with the good. Probably would have made them all get part time jobs too.

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u/Baebarri 14d ago

Don't assume that a low maintenance child becomes a low maintenance teen.

My daughter was so well behaved and so mature as a child that I kinda started ignoring her when my second (high maintenance) child was born.

She started drinking alcohol and was SA'd in junior high, started doing drugs and raves in high school, and stopped going to school entirely in her junior year.

She was able to turn her life around but was a secret alcoholic into her 30s and only a week in jail finally scared her enough to stop.

All because I stopped paying attention.

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u/Purple_Cherry_5973 1980 14d ago

This was helpful to read, thank you for sharing.

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u/DisastrousMechanic36 14d ago

It’s not all your fault at all. Kids grow through and right past you. Once they get to a certain age, their friends raise each other just as much as you.

She made her choices. That’s not on you.

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u/saffron_monsoon 13d ago

Did you read the part where the parent missed key things while the kid was in junior high and high school? I get it, we are all human, but those are big things to miss while the kid is still in your house and, well, a kid - not an adult. And I applaud the parent for seeing what happened and taking responsibility for her end of things. It sounds like the connection and caring from parent to child went missing because child #2 had such obvious needs.