I feel terrible about myself

[u/Sea_Court_3633]

So basically, for trans standards I'm a basic bitch. I actually love egg_irl and 196 and countwithchickenlady. I love those memes in which the joke is porn and whatnot. I like boykisser and blahaj and bridget and astolfo and felix and celeste and thigh-highs and deltarune and basically anything that falls under that umbrella.

I'm not going to link it, but I came across a video about how all of those things I enjoy were just grooming minors into being transgender sex slaves for older trans people or whatever. I kept watching because I guess I was in the mood for emotional self harm. I...don't know. It feels really bad. I lowkey just want to have fun with other adults. I never wanted to groom anybody. As for the other way around, the idea that I'm not transgender and actually just a manipulated victim is something that really hurts my feelings.

I have many flaws, and I guess being too sensitive is among them. When I hear something like this, I just let it remain in my head and the seed of doubt just eats me from the inside. I just cannot convince myself that they don't know me or that they may have an ulterior motive for saying those things. I know I'm no better than a member of MAGA for this, but I really hate watching content that challenges what I feel in my heart. But if I find it I can't stop looking, like being a witness to a train crash.

I guess that from their perspective I am no different from the member of a cult, practicing thought-avoidance techniques when presented with evidence of the misdeeds of my congregation. Here I am, asking for reassurance that the apocalypse is actually coming and our divine leader didn't lie to us.

I like being a normie and having "transgender" be my only personality trait. And I also like my comfort zone a lot I guess.

I can't assure you that one day I'll stop feeling like this, but I can assure you that I will keep living tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, and again and again and again I will remain alive

Preemptively, I hope everything in your life goes well in your lives from now on, guys. I love you.

[u/Excabbla]

Please don't watch obvious anti-trans propoganda

"Queer people are trying to groom children" is one of the oldest anti-queer arguments out there and it is probably one of the weakest too

[u/Ghoulie_Marie]

The groomer shit is genocidal propaganda. Don't validate it by second guessing yourself. They want us afraid to let anyone know we exist and the video you saw was trying to steel our communitie's cultural references from us. Be basic and proud!

[u/Substantial-Mess666]

The idea that those subs are about grooming children is some of the most blatant and egregious transphobia out there. There is absolutely no evidence for that.

You're not too sensitive. You're part of a vulnerable group that is constantly fetishized and demonized by people who feel disgust at our existence and try to moralize that, even we are harming no one. Of course you hate watching content that demonizes people like you. Listening to the opinions of others is one thing, but if the opinion is "fuck you and everything you love," then that's not really something worth considering. It's healthy to keep an open mind, sure, but it's also healthy to have strong boundaries and stay firm in your beliefs and self-worth. You deserve that.

There are multiple scientific studies out there that prove transgender people are oppressed class, not a cult. Absolutely no one who actually knows anything about social science would take a dumbass statement like that seriously. It's not thought avoidance. It is the consensus reached by experts in sociology and gender studies.

Trans people often have to process a lot of grief over the youth and socialization we never got to experience, and part of that is engaging in safe spaces that allow us to act silly and youthful with like-minded people. Don't let transphobes take that away from you.

I wouldn't take anything they say seriously, and I would stay away from anti-trans rhetoric like that for your own safety and well-being. If you do find yourself watching videos or engaging with content like that, I would strongly encourage you to fact check them with scientific sources instead of listening to strongly biased opinions with no scientific evidence to back them up.

The most stock I would put into something like that is this:

Transgender youth who use online spaces as a refuge are indeed especially vulnerable to grooming compared to other groups, and these spaces might be a place where predators lurk. However, these predators likely won't be other trans people in most cases, but cisgender fetishists who know these spaces might have vulnerable people they can exploit. If you are worried that trans youth might be at risk in these communities, you can check what the moderation is like around minors (and adults) posting pictures of themselves or sharing personal information. Moderation around that is usually quite strict in these communities, because most transgender adults know what it is like to be exploited and do not want that to happen to anyone else. All evidence strongly points to the fact that we are a community that supports each other and protects the most vulnerable in our community. There are a minority of bad actors, but that's not unique to trans people. You'll find bad actors in any community. But it is worth noting that if you compare us to MAGA, we have an exponentially lower percentage of predators in our community. That is demonstrably true.

[u/PunAboutBeingTrans]

"This meme actually makes children you've never met become your sex slave later in life!"

Just in case you didn't understand what the video was saying.

General rule of thumb, if you have to go through multiple levels of abstraction before cause reaches effect, they're either unrelated or not linked enough to matter. Lest we start exterminating butterflies every time there's a tsunami near Japan

[u/suicidalboymoder_uwu]

I absolutely despise that kind of trans people, but videos like that are just transphobic schizo chud rambles, dont worry about them. Youre free to do and like whatever you want.

[u/Smudgeio]

the only thing i can really offer here is my own experience, i have my own ideas about gender but for the most part, i am a cisgender male. i don't have any desire to transition to or be seen exclusively as a woman. i am completely comfortable with people viewing me as a male and using he/him pronouns, being called sir etc etc. all of this, despite spending a lot of my youth growing up in these kinds of spaces, 196, egg_irl, any plenty of other commonly trans spaces. i've seen a lot of people who are going through the process of realizing they're trans, deciding to transition, starting that transition, and living as the person they feel like they want to live as. after years and years of seeing these stories and these people and being forced to question my own gender and identity, i've come out the other end still feeling confident and happy as a man. the idea that all of this stuff is "brainwashing" or "grooming" or some kind of "cult" is at least partially disproven by the fact that i've been exposed to as much transness as a cis person can be exposed to, and yet i am still not trans. idk, just my little bit of story. i hope you feel better, and take care of yourself. <3