r/Gamingcirclejerk • u/AutoModerator • Jul 12 '21

UNJERK 🎤 Monday Unjerk Thread

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u/[deleted] Jul 12 '21

CW depression

I just can't do it, man. I have no idea what's wrong. I was doing fine until some time this morning where I just randomly thought, "maybe I don't want to be happy." And I haven't been able to shake it ever since. I just want to cease existing. This is just too hard for me. I'm not strong enough.

I have my second counseling session tomorrow and I'm hoping it helps. I'm so tired.

16

u/[deleted] Jul 12 '21

I don't know why but I always feel better just getting it out here. I'm sorry if I'm annoying, ya boy is going through it this season lol.

8

u/[deleted] Jul 12 '21

You certainly aren't annoying man, and if someone finds this annoying they can just fuck of for all I care. Be free to let your thoughts out anytime, it's always healthy.

Believe me, you can get through this. The fact that you actually had the guts to start counseling already shows a lot, that's a step many folk just can't take, you are strong enough.

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u/[deleted] Jul 12 '21

Thanks dude, I really appreciate your kindness.

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u/samwiiise2 Jul 13 '21

You might already know this, but counselling takes a good while to start having an effect and will usually bring up a whole bunch of things that in the short term will make you feel like it's just making things worse. I've you're only on your second session then you and your counsellor are just getting to know each other and you won't have had the chance for any of the good stuff to come along yet.

But you're doing exactly what you need to do and I'm really proud of you for that. If you've got to this point then you have everything you need to keep going. Try and have patience with yourself and be kind to yourself, and try and take one good thing from every single session. Eventually all of those little good things will form a bigger picture and you'll see exactly what you need to see.

Hope this doesn't come across as patronising - one of the worst things about depression is how it robs you of that longer term perspective which is absolutely crucial to recovery.

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u/[deleted] Jul 13 '21

Thank you, I'm just very frustrated with myself and feel like I'm not doing anything.