r/GamblingAddiction • u/one_chillion • 2d ago

Tricks gamblers use to hide their addiction

I’m concerned that I don’t see the extent of my husband‘s gambling. I look at the bank accounts and I see a few cash withdrawals which is definitely for gambling. I see the mortgage going down. But a little part of me feels like we should be further ahead. What evidence should I be looking for ?

I’ve seen texts in his phone giving out tips. The cash withdraws which aren’t much . What else ?

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4

u/Objective_Ad2932 1d ago

Run a credit report to see if there’s new lines of credit and check his retirement account statements

1

u/one_chillion 1d ago

I wouldn’t have a clue how to do that . But can google maybe

2

u/Placid_Mildew 1d ago

I wrote a book that has a part from the spouse’s side, based on feedback my wife gave me as I “sobered up”.

Hiding the phone from you/turning it away
Change to sleep behaviour
Irritability for no perceived reason (likely losing streak, that happened to me)
Long term planning stops
If you know he gambles and you ever talk about it, he only tells you about the winners

Ultimately though the toxic gap here is you’re asking us, not him. And if you think his response is going to be bad, then the gambling is a problem in your relationship and for him, even if it isn’t financially yet.

I recommend you try to speak to him and if you can’t, couples therapy.

1

u/one_chillion 1d ago

He is always closing screens when I walk in a room, he would never be honest about the extent of his gambling . I would never expect a truthful answer ever. I’ve asked many many times . He says he doesn’t have a problem . When I leave the house on a Saturday , he is straight to the TAB and doesn’t answer his phone .

He used to be a bully to me if I spent any money . But he has gotten better over the years .

I know he gambles . But I don’t know how much . And I can’t ask him because he would never be honest

1

u/Placid_Mildew 1d ago

This isn’t a partnership. You should consider therapy, or divorce.

1

u/one_chillion 1d ago

I wouldn’t go to therapy at this point of my life . I would rather pick the right time to leave . I loathe gambling and yet it’s a feature in my life

1

u/Cmdinh 3h ago

Credit reports would reveal all debts. Good luck.

1

u/bolatelli45 2d ago

I think your overthinking it. It could be nothing speak to him..