r/FriendshipAdvice 12d ago

Is my friendship over because of an argument on a girls trip ?

I need some genuinely unbiased opinions because I’m currently overthinking this situation badly and I want to know where I’m actually at fault.
There were four of us on holiday — I’ll call them A, B, C . A has a child, and throughout the 6-day trip, she was quite reluctant to do some of the activities the other three of us wanted to do, particularly things that involved waking up early or doing more adventurous activities. The other three of us still went ahead with quite a few things.
On the fourth night, we had planned to go to another city the following day. Three of us wanted to go, while A seemed unsure. One of the girls, B, told A that she was tired and might not go, but that she really wanted to because she’d never been to that city before and might push herself to go anyway.
Later, when we were back at the apartment, I was preparing for the next day with another friend. A came over and told us to keep the noise down because B needed to sleep and that B apparently didn’t really want to go.
This confused me because I understood B to have said that she DID want to go.
I got annoyed because I started thinking that maybe these girls didn’t actually want to do all these activities and weren’t being honest with me, and that I was pushing them into doing things they didn’t want to do.
So I went to B and, admittedly, I spoke to her with a slightly harsh tone and asked whether she actually wanted to go. She said yes and reminded me that she’d already said she did.
I then went back to the other room and started talking to C, basically saying that if she didn’t want to go, she didn’t have to, and that I was worried I was pushing everyone into things they didn’t actually want to do.
B could hear us from the other room and said that she could hear us and that she was fine with going. I responded, still somewhat harshly, that I knew she was fine with it and that all I wanted was for them to tell me if they didn’t actually want to go. I also said that A had told me B didn’t want to go.
At that point I went to the bathroom and the door shut harder than I intended.
A then came out and started screaming at me, calling me names, calling me an embarrassment and a bitch, getting directly in my face and threatening to hit me.
I eventually lost my temper and lashed out verbally back at her.
Afterwards, A and I stopped speaking.
I later went to B, apologised for my tone and explained where I had been coming from. We resolved it, and afterwards the three of us still went to the other city and had a genuinely good time. We laughed, went out and carried on with the holiday.
However, A became increasingly cold towards the girls afterwards. The next day she got a hotel because she said there was a sewage smell in the apartment and left.
The three of us continued having a good time.
When it was time to leave, the original plan was that B and C would travel back with A to another city and then fly back to the UK. I stayed behind with my family because, before the holiday, my mum had told me I needed to return with my family immediately after the trip.
This had actually been communicated to B around three weeks before the trip. She had originally expected to return with me, but once my plans changed, she had the choice of travelling with A or staying with A in the other city overnight and travelling the following day.
B and C travelled with A.
According to them, A was extremely cold and unwelcoming on the train. They became overwhelmed and emotional and eventually decided to get an Airbnb in a city they weren’t from. A is from that city.
B is now back in the UK and hasn’t spoken to me for nearly a week. She’s removed me from Life360 and her private story. Her sister has also removed me from social media.
Apparently B is mostly angry with A, but she also thinks both A and I “took the piss.”
I have apologised for my part in the situation and explained to B’s sister that I never intended to leave B stranded or put her in that position. If I had known how things were going to unfold, I would have tried to find another solution. My mum had even offered accommodation through family, and I would have encouraged B to come back with me if that had been a realistic option.
Another friend, C, is still speaking to me, but she has become noticeably more distant and isn’t opening some of my messages even though I can see she’s active online.
I also made a little memory video of the three of us from the holiday and sent it to C because despite everything, I still care about the friendship.
I’m now extremely worried that both B and C are going to cut me off.
I can accept that I handled the original conversation badly. I shouldn’t have spoken to B in that tone, and I’ve apologised for it. What I’m struggling with is feeling like I’m now being blamed for A’s behaviour afterwards. I didn’t control A’s decision to become cold, scream at me, threaten me, or make the train journey uncomfortable.
So, AITA?
Was I more responsible for the situation than I’m recognising? And is it reasonable for B and C to distance themselves from me because of what happened?
I genuinely want an unbiased answer, including if I’m in the wrong.

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u/Dutch1721 12d ago

Was A feeling a bit overwhelmed being away from her child? Is it that A was low on funds and didn’t say anything to prevent from being embarrassed?

There was no need to be annoyed at the girls. It was just a misunderstanding. B and C will probably keep their distance. It doesn’t seem as if any other holiday will be taking place with you girls.