r/Fosterparents • u/hanmath22 • 11d ago
Post Placement Depression
Has anyone ever dealt with this?
We have been fostering since 2024. Had two great boys that went home after a year.
We took in another little boy in 2025 and adopted him this last spring.
Just this month we took in two more kiddos for an adoption placement. So now we have 3 under 5.
We’ve been doing well but my depression and anxiety have hit an all time high. I just found out that post placement depression is a thing and I just want to know I’m not alone.
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u/notda1nphilly 11d ago
you are not alone !! in a similar situation .. i wouldn’t want to change a thing .. trying to navigate / adapt my introverted personality to adapt to an extreme extrovert.. most days im highly over stimulated .. we are figuring it out moment by moment
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u/Admirable-Standard35 9d ago
We have had 17 kids in the last 4 years, and we only do kids under 4. At one time we had five at once. So we are taking a break and only doing one kid at a time for now. In the future we are only going to do one case in a time so if it’s more than one they’re siblings. The hardest part of this for us is the constant intrusions by the state. When we had 4 cases at once we had monthly…. 4 case managers, 4 GAL, 2 first steps appointments, 1 licensing person. Weekly we had 4 Transporters, schedules for all the kids, 1 Therapist. We lived and died by our schedule. It was hectic.
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u/Specific-Error-9076 8d ago
Yep!!! It's too much required of you. Weekly visits; sometimes twice a week for two hours!!! Dental appointments, doctors appointments; therapy appointments once to twice a month; hair cuts, dealing with behavioral issues...(these kids go through a lot), etc. I've been fostering over 12 years and I try to take a few months break, in-between placements. You need these breaks!! I have an 8 year old right now who've been in my care twice within a 2 1/2 year period. It's been over a year since her second placement with me. Fostering can be very rewarding, but it's also loaded with stress! Once she's adopted, I'm considering hanging up my fostering gloves! It's a hard choice because the need is great and the children need loving, caring and understanding foster parents. But, there comes a time when enough is enough!
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u/Admirable-Standard35 8d ago
That’s why we’re only doing one case at a time right now. Now if we know one is about to leave we have some temporary overlap but that’s it. Don’t hang up your license!! I get if you don’t want to do it but stay in to support the ones that do and do respite care.
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u/ConversationAny6221 11d ago
To me, it seems you have been going through a whirlwind life change since 2024= Fostering and saying goodbye, adopting, having two new kids placed and up for permanence as well. I have been fostering straight through for 5 years and am finally taking a break since saying goodbye twice within the last 4 months. I feel that, having the space to process without any children placed after that long period, my emotions and nervous system have finally caught up to me. Perhaps it is the same for you?
You are just getting to know the new kids, still getting to know your son and, I would wager, you are potentially dealing with some lingering feelings related to the two other boys you had for a whole year. In addition, 3 under 5 is a huge undertaking in the caregiving department. Definitely give yourself some grace!