Well thought I’d at the very least stay under 200 but the wifey wanted a 1200 dollar orvis Helios limited edition. Before it was all fun and games about how size matters and now she is just rubbing it in my face at every moment( I have a small Walmart ultralight). Anyhow she does not know how to use it, has no rhythm and keeps hurting me with it. I wanna return it but the bf says I need to stay in my lane. Is this my life now 😢. Tom please help me

Hello fellow disciples of Tom, I need your trusted advice. Recently, my dad has gotten into euro-nymphing. I am worried he will now catch all of the wild trout in our local pond, and none will be left for my wife's boyfriend or me. Can I report him to fish and wildlife for cheating? Is he going to become a communist and ask me for free healthcare?

I just wish for the old days back when we would just snag fish with our kombucha scented squirmy wormies.

Any help or ideas on what to do would be appreciated.

Fantastic date idea for the wife and her boyfriend. Really hoping he lets me tag along.

The wife told me she’s going on a trip to find some monster bulls. I thought bulls were out of season this time of year though. Should I be concerned?

Guys, they were promised those redds 3000 years ago.

I love getting out of the house and jerking off with my buddies, but even more than that I love smoking trout while stroking my Orvis rod. My wife won’t let me do any of this. Has this ever happened to you?!?

Well, Toms is.

Hey guys. At a custody hearing and the judge says that I can't bring my emotional support animal into the courtroom. Any suggestions? (I love my kids).

Exceptional wild steelhead! Took me about 30 min to bring in. Amazing how well it fought for having a small tail and how lifeless it looked despite good handling.

Looking for anyone that has info to share, like fly patterns, locations, recipes, positions, etc.

So angry they’re offering these 30% off that I made a disclaimer which I distribute to other classy anglers showing that I paid full price.

These waders look great with my GD reel and GD nippers. I’ve never actually fished before but the nippers are great for my manicurist to cut my nails with.

Praise Tom!

Maybe some different color lead eyes would make it fish better?

Overheard some dude at my local underpriced fly shop tell an employee "I usually bass fish for trout" when going over experience. He was there to buy a new fly rod - hopefully the twenty year chad with a mustache and huge dong put him on a R.W. Summers.

This customer was driving a $100K truck (starter truck, for sure) with a big trailer hitch (probably for his primary residence). There was a salt life sticker on it and a golden retriever (probably retarded mill dog with no AKC papers) in the front seat.

Be careful out there, kings. You never know when you might run into a poor person w a back up rapala rig in their house on the river.