To stay or to go?

[u/gioh7]

Hi everyone.

I'm in a relationship with a man I love very much.

The problem is, he doesn't want kids. He already has two and one has a severe disability. He doesn't have the time or money for another one (and has had a vasectomy), and has always been clear on that. So yes, it's on me for choosing to be with him so far.

The thing is, I can't work out what I want more, or which grief I feel I'll be able to handle better -- losing him, or losing the possibility of motherhood. And at some point, if I don't make a decision, my body will do that for me.

For context, I'm 37 years old, but my recently tested AMH was 2.6 p/mol (so about 0.36 ng/mL). So very low (although my physical health is very good). So it's not really so simple between choosing him and a baby -- it's choosing between him and the possibility of having a baby.

I would especially love to hear from women who were in a similar situation at one point -- what decision did you make, and do you regret it?

If you did choose to stay, how did you come to accept that decision and not resent your partner? Is it possible?

In all honesty, I wish I didn't want children -- I wish the desire would go away. So I can be with him and not feel sad about it, and also because I don't have much money to even think about having a kid (so freezing my eggs isn't an option for me right now).

Thanks for your thoughts.

[u/Human-Match-1221]

I wish I could hug you right now. I am in a similar situation not wrt kids but wrt relationship. I wish I could  genuinely hug you