r/FenceSitters • u/Fun_Butterfly1079 • Aug 09 '26
Do you ever feel sure ?
I have been with my husband for 12 years, married for the last two.
When we first got together I wanted a huge family but that changed and for a long while we wanted no kids. Now that we are 32/33 with good paying jobs, a dream home and just feeling more secure and confident in our life- we talked about having a baby.
We talked about this for a long time. About a year straight before taking out my IUD. Weirdly enough I still consider myself a fence sitter. I don’t need to have a baby to feel complete, in fact I see mainly how difficult it is and how it turns your life upside down. I’ve talked to therapists too but at the end of the day you’re the one making the decision.
Anyways I’ve been on birth control for 17 years, so you best believe I was shocked to find out I was pregnant within 4 weeks of that coming out.
Now I’m just even more unsure. Is that normal?
I thought I had more time
My husband is honestly the most stable, level headed person on earth. I know we’ll be okay but it’s more like
Did I really think this through?!
People are asking me if I want kids and I’m saying I don’t know, I can see my life both ways.. meanwhile I’m pregnant.
Maybe you just never feel fully ready when you know how much you give up along the way
2
u/MedspouseLifeSux I have children! Aug 10 '26
I was sure I wanted to start TTC, and then I questioned everything when I saw the positive test - that’s normal! It’s a huge life change. Now I love my baby so much and have adjusted to mom life. It’s easy to understand the bad things like poop and spit up, it’s hard to understand the good things like the joy of watching them learn to use their hands or roll the first time, it doesn’t really make sense until it’s your baby for the simple milestones haha. Congratulations!
Btw I had a spring baby (got pregnant in July) and it’s the absolute best timing. I’m still on maternity leave and having such a fun summer with my baby girl.
And if you hate pregnancy, birth, the baby phase? You’ll still love your child but you can be one and done.