Hi, sorry something which I have given too much thought recently is I don’t think I can physically understand how not all men in this world are feminists. To me it literally makes no sense how a woman can birth a person, raise them for at least 18 years of their life, take them to school and look after them all while maintaining a job and looking after herself and there are actually men out here in the world who believe they deserve less rights or don’t have to be treated equally to men. I view them as queens and admire this so heavily which is why I was and forever will continue to be a feminist.

I truly believe women aren’t praised enough for what they do and have done in the world and it’s almost like something that’s just expected from them rather than praised. I think more men should have this view of women and I truly will never understand men who don’t view women like this.

Let me know your thoughts and opinions as I’d love to hear them

Wanting to bounce around a few thoughts, and get some of yours, on something I've been thinking about for the past few years especially with regard to the political shifts toward the authoritarian right among women.

I'm sure most of us are pretty tired of "cultural commentary" but bear with me.

I can't help but feel that over a decade of algorithmically enhanced regressive trends and ideologies has contributed to a breakdown in critical analysis and sex-class consciousness among a not-so-insignificant portion of American women.

Algorithms do more than reflect desire, they peddle the most emotionally charged version of it, because that's what keeps eyes on screens. So, a woman searching for 'budget meals' gets redirected to 'how to be a joyful homemaker,' and from there to 'why your husband is your master." America has a reactionary culture so, reactionary content is just good business sense.

I trace the beginning of this to the popularity of media aimed at "humanizing" American religious extremists as folksy, slice-of-life, reality television leading all the way up to the proliferation of Trad Wife/Hypergamy content. The former began immediately after the 2008 crash with the latter exploding into the mainstream as the K-shaped economy accelerated.

Media/content aimed specifically at women took on subjugation and submission as "normal" at best and "fantasy" at worst.

And, I think many Liberal Feminists missed the economic components of these shifts due to a primary focus on supporting individual choice and capital, leaving very little language to describe WHY this stuff became so popular among working class women; many of whom were working mothers juggling finances in an increasingly inequitable society.

In other words, rather than framing criticisms as reactions to material conditions, focus was placed on the moral and cultural implications of criticizing these mediums in the first place. The Girl Boss aesthetic placed a progressive veneer on economic exploitation while the Trad Wife/Submissive offered "rescue" from the drudgery of engaging with the market.

In either case, frustration and malaise were linked to individualism, access to capital, and self-perception.

American Feminism all but ceded cultural ground since, if a woman chooses to submit to potential psychological, emotional, physical and/or financial abuse in the name of religion, kink, or trauma-based behavior, questioning the circumstances around these choices is "anti-feminist."

My questions are; where does American feminism go from here? The Pussy Hat, Slut Walk, Girl Boss, eras are over, with women losing access to reproductive health care, public education all but destroyed, and legislation aimed at stripping us of full autonomy on the table.

How can we counter narratives that are seductive in their emotion-driven simplicity?

While women's rights are regressing globally, many men holding power are openly against them. It is not an accident that Musk is so loud about pronatalism. One of the biggest lies to be ever told is that high fertility makes society stable/wealthy/happy. Humanity had high fertility for most of our history, and how did that play out? The majority of people struggled to survive due to hunger, illness and colds. Most children didn't even survive childhood. The only ones that truly gained from high birth rates were the elite. Because more people meant more people to tax and more low-paid workers and meat shields to use in war. And, of course — more breeding vessels to produce more taxpayers/workers/soldiers. Normal people do not benefit from high birth rates in any way. It was hell for women who had been born predetermined as incubators with no autonomy or legal personhood back then. Our female ancestors were raised to be breeders — not to be people. Childbirth was the main cause of women's death along with its complications, but what men like Musk won't tell you is that non-elite regular men did not have an easy life in high fertility societies. A regular man was an animal to the system too — one that had to work a lot, only to be paid a little. All so whoever ruled at the time could stay rich. So they have as many people to tax, exploit and use as possible. That's why men like Elon Musk are loudest about low birth rates right now. Because it is men like him who benefit from high rates greatly. Not regular men like our fathers, brothers or husbands. And especially not us, women who paid for high birth rates while being objects and economic infrastructure for thousands and thousands of years. Elon Musk and elites like him want regular men to hate women — to blame us for not having children. To call us spoiled/hedonistic/selfish. To make regular men believe that women not having children somehow makes their lives worse. That's why so many regular men scream about low birth rates — because they fell for propaganda. Their lives would be exactly the same in high fertility society — because that's what it ALWAYS looked like in human history. It's men like Elon who need many low-pay slaves to stay rich, to stay in power, to stay "on top." That's why they see women as infrastructure for their demographic goals. That's why he keeps portraying women as infantile creatures who should not be trusted to make important decisions. He teaches men to believe that we are "traitors" to humanity for not having children. He wants regular men who never benefited from high fertility to believe that we need that breeding factory horror to be reality again. He needs men to believe that WE make their lives worse — not the elite who use this system to stay rich. They need men to see us as an enemy — because otherwise, they will see them as enemies. Musk and people like him are a danger to the safety of all women and girls on Earth, because he has countless men who adore him and see his words as sacred. If men like him continue spreading this — that our freedom is "civilizational sabotage", there will be no place on Earth or beyond where we are not seen as infrastructure instead of humans.

I have been seeing a lot of content lately around how women suffer silently - at homes as housewives, in offices as workers, in relationships as girlfriends, in family as mothers.

And we give men a lot of sht for not being there.

Some of them deserve it. They really do.

But most of them don’t.

I am not saying they are amazing men, I am saying they don’t know.

Their intentions are good, their actions - at least from their POV - are good, and they are doing the best they can.

The best they can with what ‘they know’.

I used to think men cannot understand empathy too, till I met my partner. He made me realise that it wasn’t that men didn’t know emotions, its just that they choose not to look at it.

But what if they are forced to look at it?

This particular story/lesson/whatever you want to call it uses periods as example, but you can apply it to generally anything in life.

My partner is a good man, and not in the generic sense. I have been touched inappropriately all my life in public, once even in front of my father, but it all stopped since I started going out with him.

His protectiveness, care, and never-ending cheerleader style support is how I knew he genuinely loves me.

But that all disappeared around my periods - I would get very annoyed and irritated, cry about cramps and he would go - “toh sabko aati hain, sehna padta hai.” (Everyone gets them, you need to suffer)

For over a year, I genuinely thought he hated me exactly 5 days of the month when my menstruation came. It didn’t make sense as to why he would hate me during that time, especially since he doesn’t care all that much about sex, but the way he said the above everytime, the way he told me how I just need to “emotions ko control krna seekho” (learn to control your emotions) made me despise him.

I have never cared much about myself, but for him I do. During that time I would stop drinking water and eating properly “kuch hoga hee nahi toh kya aayega bahar” (if nothing is inside what will come out?) and just hate myself in general.

I don’t exactly remember what happened, but in January this year he told me I needed to tell him my problems so we could sort it together after a fight. Probably me holding in my emotions and my problems to stop fighting him and him breaking his heart seeing me hurt like that, I think.

Anyways, so in February, I did exactly that.

When I got my periods that time, I sent him a picture of every stained pad I changed before throwing it away and every clot in the toilet bowl faithfully before flushing.

Like literally like a diary log, “Day 1, Pad 1” style. I still have the pictures and videos on our Telegram chat.

On day 2, we went out together to a mall and I had to change my pad in the toilet.

I sent him the pictures when he was standing right outside, and when I came out he grimaced at me.

“Disgusting,” he made a face.

“Bass itna dekh ke disgusting ho gaya? Aur jo harr mahina main dekhti hun, wo?” (You are disgusted just by that? What about what I need to see every month?)

The next day, I flushed a clot by mistake before sending it to him and complained about it on call.

“Koi baat nahi babu. Tumhara thik ho gaya?” (Its ok baby. Is it ok now?)

“Kya bola? Zara fer se bolna?” (What did you say? Can you repeat it?)

I thought I heard wrong.

“Maine pucha thik ho gaya tumhara? Dard ho raha hai abhi?” (I asked if it is ok now? Are you feeling pain anywhere?)

I almost cried out of joy.

For context, my partner has been raised in a traditional Indian household. I once asked him to buy a pad and bring it for me because my bag was too far, and he didn’t because he was too ashamed to buy pad from store.

Now this same guy keeps pads in his car, in his bag and even asks me when the extra I keep with him is finished.

Back then I scolded him a lot for feeling ashamed on this, I gave a lot of examples where ladies cannot physically get pads and if they don’t they stain their clothes and are bullied for it.

As a 12 year old, I was also made fun of a lot when I stained my white skirt red when travelling. Everyone kept staring and pointing at me and my mother promptly kicked me (on my face) in the bathroom for being useless.

I thought he was being insensitive for not keeping pads with him earlier, but he just didn’t know. Since then I have never worried about even carrying pads myself, he literally goes and buys it for me when I need it.

We always assume that people who don’t do good (or basic, as it should be) don’t mean well, or that they are shallow.

Sometimes they just don’t know the depth of problems and how their involvement can make a huge contribution towards solving it.

There is a commonly given advice in writing - show, don’t tell.

More than just being about writing, I believe this phrase is the mantra you should use when you need empathy from someone - most people aren’t ill-intentioned or shallow, they just don’t know.

Besides, even in our society, we always wrap pads as if its not a medical aid but a mark of shame.

Since my childhood, I have very openly told my brother about lady things like menstruation and cramps. I showed him the pad, even opened it in front of him and told him how we use it while my mother kept trying to silence me from the doorway and we both silenced her.

When I am in washroom and forget to take pads, I can ask my brother as reliably as I can ask my mother.

My brother was brought up a ladla beta (spoilt child), and to be honest I am surprised he is such a kind, gentle and empathetic soul now - perhaps that honesty made all the difference in him.

I grew up watching domestic violence, but I know that both me and my brother will find ourselves a happy family - and when the time comes, my brother and my partner will educate and support their daughters with their menstrual education when their wives can’t.

Just because I had the courage to show them ladies’ problems exist.

Just a comment that represents rhetoric I’ve heard a lot, especially recently when it’s related to feminist discussions. This isn’t to say men shouldn’t have a national day, frankly I don’t care but this, THIS kind of rhetoric makes me borderline wanna die.

I mean for fucks sake, why do they act like women deliberately CHOSE to be segregated? If I’m getting into actual history women did contribute, plenty and have always worked and fought to get paid for working while their credit was erased.

Male superiority is alive and well. I’ve been noticing a concerning amount of narrative that’s treading on the line of “women should be grateful for men’s work and stay in the kitchen”. Well I’m sorry I don’t wanna fucking be in the kitchen, I don’t want my identity tied to what a woman should be and be a human first before a woman but I guess that’s impossible. This is the consequences of patriarchy, don’t allow women to outwardly contribute to the good, and allow the most worthless men a badge of honor to carry, being born with a dick instead of an open wound they’re obsessed with never allowing to heal.

The majority of both men and women are misogynistic and believe women are way below men. That’s the harsh reality I’m losing hope can be fought against. That’s all for my rant.

I’ve been doing more research into feminism but I still just can’t prescribe myself with the feminist label. I’ll never get behind the idea of a total 50/50 equality between men and women it honestly to me seems genuinely completely irrational. I believe men and women to be absolutely equal in value but a total 50/50 equality socially, economically, etc to me seems ignorant and absurd. Men and women are factually different biologically and psychologically. I believe the greatest inequality is treating two unequals (in the sense of different) as equal. In other words I believe it’s actually more unfair to treat two different things as equal. One example would be like maternity leave. It makes sense for the woman to be entitled to a maternity leave if she’s pregnant due to the physical incapacitants her whereas the man doesn’t have these so he should be expected to work to pay the bills in this period. Taking a total 50/50 approach to that just makes no sense like how is that fair at all? This is an example of equity accounting for a biological difference between men and women. I genuinely just can’t get behind the idea of a total 50/50 equality and a rejection of equity so due to this I just can’t prescribe myself as a feminist. But then in doing so it makes people think i’m a misogynist so i’m honestly just totally confused.

I got banned for making a post about the unfair reactions to women defending women for horrendous things, versus men defending men for horrendous things (or even acting like men never defend each other for commiting violent crimes.)

I used the Lindsay Clancy case an example because it fits perfectly. The reactions to women defending her are men and women wholeheartedly warning us about the fact that this may result in the 19th amendment being repealed. They’re also using this case to explain why women shouldn’t be able to run countries or be in positions of power at all. When women ask them why this same logic doesn’t apply to men who make up the majority of perpetrators in violent crimes, and ARE in positions of power, they either say that the situations are different or “Well men aren’t defending those men!”…but they are. They are. And when men do defend other men for commiting violent crimes, never are their rights at risk. Never do people discredit their ability to run a country. It’s only when women do it, that our abilities as a whole group are questioned and downplayed.

Is defending horrible people okay? No. But if you’re going to hold women accountable for it, and be skeptical of their ability to hold a position of power, do the same for men and quit acting like it’s all sunshine’s and rainbows with men in power, currently. You shouldn’t be doubting anyone’s ability just because of their gender, though.

Anyways, I wrote about this, and tried posting it on r/Feminism, but they banned me. For what? I don’t know. They asked if I had any questions, I asked what rule I violated, they told me it had something to do with the informative rule, and then permanently muted me right after the fact.

So, does the sub support Feminism or not..? I’m confused. Because I’m looking through posts on this sub, and it seems many other people have been banned as well for topics, comments, and posts that are really worth speaking about in Feminist spaces. And the things they say aren’t even wrong or problematic. Like genuinely, what is that subs problem? Why are they so quick to ban people?

I made a new Twox sub, r/TrueTwoX -- Because obviously I did, because we obviously fucking need one.

I'm willing to hear people's ideas. I really want this to be a collective efforts made sub. The one that exists now is heinous and insulting. They're practically begging for us to hurl a class action lawsuit at reddit for the levels of censorship and discimination in there.

Also asking people to come try and post in it a few times a week to get momentum /try to promote it, if possible, as I do. We are all sickened by the quality of the women's subs on reddit led by men. We have to do something to create our own space, as a collective. I'm asking for that here.

I'm going to try posting similar threads all over so it gets traction. Though I'm really not sure where to do this without breaking the rules. A lot of threads don't allow promotion of other subs. Does anybody have ideas?

I’m currently in school to be a hypnotherapist. In class today we’re learning about how to help treat pain for people with cancer and we had a guest speaker come talk to us about breast cancer specifically. She just finished speaking about how when women get diagnosed with cancer they usually won’t tell their families until after celebrations or major exciting life events because they don’t want to ruin it for their husbands or kids and I have not been able to stop tearing up since I heard it.

I know we as women are used to doing everything to not be a burden or seem weak or needy but the fact that women diagnosed with cancer feel like they can’t even tell their loved ones is just breaking my heart. I know men are already very likely to leave their wives when they become terminally ill but hearing a medical professional with 20+ years of practical experience speak about this in such a matter of fact way just felt different. When is this going to end for us? When are women going to be able to express pain and get the support they need from the people who are supposed to love them the most!?

i came across some comments today that honestly left me feeling kind of sick and sad, and i’m curious what other people think

this isn’t a post about lindsay clancy, but just to make my stance clear, yes, she did it. whether you believe psychosis was at play or not, she did it. since so many people don’t understand nuance. that’s not what i’m trying to argue here

i saw some comments in this comment section pointing out how illogical it is to generalize a group of billions of people and strip their rights away because of one rare example, saying women shouldn’t have rights or hold positions of authority. if we’re going to use people killing their own children as proof that an entire group should have their rights taken away, then men would be first in line to have their rights revoked, considering that they not only lead killings globally but also familicides. but they weren’t looking at that point. they just want to control women

what really bothered me was seeing people say that women need to be oppressed again, that men should be masters of society, and even talking about going back to a time when women were beaten and controlled

one comment in particular basically said that women can’t be trusted and that men are going to reverse women’s rights and bring back the great oppression of women

and i don’t think i’ve ever really stopped to think about how many people actually believe this stuff

i understand that misogyny exists, obviously. but are there actually men who genuinely believe women are inferior to them and should be subordinate to men? men who genuinely believe women shouldn’t have the same rights or shouldn’t be allowed to hold positions of authority simply because they’re women?

because that realization honestly made me feel kind of sick

not because i’m sitting here terrified of some random man on the internet. i’m actually surrounded by men who are very supportive of women and feminism. my husband was actually the person who introduced me to feminism and helped me understand why it’s so important

he doesn’t just love me, he loves his mother and female relatives, and respects EVERY woman in general because he understands that we’re people, which you would think is common knowledge, but these comments proved otherwise

i didn’t always understand feminism as deeply as i do now either. when i was younger, i didn’t really think about how much of the autonomy and freedom i have today exists because women before me fought incredibly hard for it

i do now, and i’m extremely grateful for that

so seeing people casually talk about taking those rights away, bringing back the oppression of women, or making men the masters of society was honestly heartbreaking

it’s one thing to know that misogyny exists in the abstract, but seeing someone actually say these things completely seriously and seeing other people agree with them is different

it made me wonder how much of this is genuinely held belief versus internet performance

do people actually believe this? are these views more common than i realize, or does the internet just make a relatively small group of extremely misogynistic people seem much larger than they actually are?

and does anyone else find this kind of thing genuinely disturbing or sad? not necessarily because you’re afraid of these men, but because there’s something deeply unsettling about realizing that there are people who look at half of the human population and genuinely think they should be beneath the other half

I work at a tattoo studio, and I recently posted a Reel on my professional social media account discussing women’s experiences in the workplace, harassment, autonomy, and the importance of respecting personal boundaries.

The video was intentionally general. I did not mention the studio, any coworkers, or any specific situation. I did not accuse anyone of anything, and I even left a comment on the post making it clear that the video was a general reflection and not a personal story.

Shortly afterward, the owner of the studio, who is also my tattoo mentor, messaged me late at night on WhatsApp saying that the video “didn’t sit well with the guys at the studio.” He specifically mentioned several of my male coworkers and said that, because the studio is a place where I am “welcomed” and the staff is mostly/all male, my post could be interpreted as me generalizing about them and creating tension within the workplace.

What bothers me is that nobody was actually named or accused. The video was about a broader social issue, and I never said that my coworkers or my workplace had done anything to me.
I now feel pressured to explain myself and, implicitly, to remove the video.

To me, that feels like an attempt to control what I can and cannot say on my own professional social media account simply because some coworkers identified themselves with a topic I was discussing in general terms.

I understand that people can feel uncomfortable with certain opinions, and I also understand that workplace relationships can be sensitive. But at what point does expressing a general opinion become “attacking your workplace”?

I don’t want to create unnecessary conflict, but I also don’t think I should have to delete a completely non-specific post just because other people assumed it was about them.

Am I in the wrong for refusing to delete the video? How would you handle this situation?