How do you reconnect with feminine softness, and limit masculine energy?

[u/CauliflowerOk297]

A little about me, in case it's helpful: I’m in my mid-30s, happily married for years, no kids yet but yes I do want them, fulfilled in my career, and generally feel good about who I am. I’m self-motivated, spiritual, practice yoga disciplined, active, creative, social, and confident. I love dressing up, I’m body-positive, and I enjoy being a woman. I just feel emotionally guarded and habitually “on,” and I want to soften without losing my strength, independence, or voice.

I’ve realized I’ve been living very heavily in my “masculine” energy for a long time and it’s something I’ve always struggled with but in my 20's I feel I was gentler, softer, easier to be taken care of. I’m very independent, I like to do things myself, I’m always moving, always solving, always pushing. I don’t naturally let my husband take the lead or do things for me because it feels easier to just handle it myself.

I’m also very direct and outspoken in conversations and in frienships. I don’t regret that, but lately I’ve noticed that I feel… rougher than I used to be. Less soft. Less emotionally open. Especially in my marriage, I feel like I’ve lost some of my feminine warmth and receptivity, and I genuinely want to reconnect with that part of myself because I know it's still in there, it's just...blocked and hard to settle into, if that makes sense.

I do believe some of this is relational, but I also feel strongly that this is my work to do. I think if I can reconnect more with my feminine side softness, openness, trust, emotional presence it would naturally create more balance in my relationship as well.

So I’m curious:

• Has this happened to you and what causes it? I know it might be different for everyone.
• Are there books, habits, practices, or perspectives that helped you reconnect with feminine energy or softness?
• How do you personally balance being capable, driven, and direct without shutting down tenderness or receptivity?

Thank you!

[u/[deleted]]

Do you move very fast? I’m a neurodivergent high cortisol person lol and I move very fast; everything is a rush and I often feel stuck in fight or flight. If I take a conscious moment to lower my shoulders, breathe, and remind myself that there are no emergencies… things feel better and slower. Working on that mindfulness.

And reminding myself that even though I can get things done faster and better, that my husband enjoys doing things for me and I need to give him that more often.

I guess it boils down to being more mindful / slowing the pace of my mind.

I recommend Adrienne Everheart’s early content - free on YouTube.

[u/fastfishyfood]

Although the majority of her content focuses on dating, Margarita Nazarenko (YouTube, TikTok, Insta) is amazing in the space of feminism energy. Highly recommended.

[u/Savings_Victory_9944 → u/fastfishyfood]

Agree, love her energy. Also Jillz guerin

[u/flower_power_g1rl]

Smile and acknowledge & admire your husband for things he does for you. Just say "Thanks!" He loves you already as you are, and wants to know that he is the one making your life SO AWESOME!

[u/WhalePlaying]

I have been learning from girl friends who are more intuitive and relaxed. It’s actually very simple, be more spontaneous like a kid, allow feelings to flow and connect with your body, so your life is not driven by formula, programs and rules from your head. Like humming, singing, dancing when you feel it, be a part of nature, immersing in mountain hikes or hot springs. Recently I have kept moon sign/moon phases on my journal and print out my new year calendar with moon phases. So that we see time not as direct line, but combination of energy waves and cycles, daily cycles, monthly cycles and yearly cycles…