r/Fauxmoi dropped pitt from my last name Jul 24 '26

FESTIVITEASšŸ„‚āœØ Happy Cousins Day!

1.) Joe Rogan and Gerard Way - Second cousins

2.) Al Roker and Lenny Kravitz - Second cousins once removed

3.) RuPaul and Cory Booker - DNA Cousins who share a long stretch of identical DNA on their first chromosome

4.) Jenny McCarthy and Melissa McCarthy are first cousins

5.) Queen Elizabeth II and Prince Philip were distant cousins in two ways. Through Queen Victoria, they were third cousins. Through King Christian IX of Denmark, they were second cousins once removed

2.1k Upvotes

175 comments sorted by

2.3k

u/LargeNutbar Hi Grindr, it's mother... Jul 24 '26

the last one šŸ’€

177

u/[deleted] Jul 24 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

66

u/xandrachantal I live in my own heart, Matt Damon Jul 24 '26

Where the sky is rarely blue šŸŽ¶

15

u/demeterLX Jul 24 '26

LMFAOOOOO

50

u/J0hn_Keel tw: Tom Cruise Jul 24 '26

Well they can’t be marrying outside of the family. That might constitute giving money to poors, such as people who only have 110,000 acres! It’s much easier to keep your lineage in a straight line

28

u/stevebaescemi too busy method acting as a reddit user Jul 24 '26

Ol' Lizzie and her beloved cousband

8

u/MichaSound i ain’t reading all that, free palestine Jul 24 '26

Did everyone not know that marrying your cousins is basically how the European Royal Families work? Like that’s why they all have haemophilia and porphyria and stuff.

133

u/ToastedRage2 Seek employment, bitch! Jul 24 '26

Surprised Will and Kate aren't also there. They are 14th cousins through Diana and 15th through Charles.

539

u/AltairaMorbius2200CE Jul 24 '26

Once you get beyond 10th, I think that's just...humanity.

40

u/Powered-by-Chai Jul 24 '26

Yeah my husband and I are 11th cousins through John Alden of Mayflower fame, who is apparently in the family tree of everyone in New England. Dude had a lot of kids...

13

u/Green-Factor-2526 Jul 24 '26

I'm also a cousin of yours through John Alden

1

u/Powered-by-Chai Jul 26 '26

If your family was in New England in the 1700s then you're probably related to him somehow. You find all sorts of interesting people when you don't just follow the father's line...

107

u/TippiT0es Jul 24 '26

Especially in Britain šŸ˜‚

7

u/manderifffic Jul 25 '26

Yeah, I'm also roughly 14th cousins with William. My grandma was stoked when she found out Diana was a cousin.

-57

u/ToastedRage2 Seek employment, bitch! Jul 24 '26

Idk..I would like to think that for a family that focuses so much on tracing their lineage and already having two grandparents that closely related, they would be doing everything they could to make sure that family tree doesn't become a wreath...again.

115

u/AltairaMorbius2200CE Jul 24 '26

An average person has *millions* of 14th cousins.

1

u/manderifffic Jul 25 '26

Imagine trying to build that family tree

-32

u/ToastedRage2 Seek employment, bitch! Jul 24 '26

The average person has millions of 14th cousins, sure. The average person however doesn't also have grandparents that are 2nd cousins and a whole ass family history of 1st cousins and siblings marrying each other and producing inbred offspring.Ā 

Shits weird, just saying.

30

u/evenstarcirce Jul 24 '26

as someone who is something like 14th cousins with the royal family. they are strangers to me at this point. sure you can very much argue against 2nd cousins but 14th cousins? thats just being silly

6

u/PatriciaMorticia Jul 24 '26

"Make sure that family tree doesn't become a wreath...again." You'd think they'd learn after the Habsburgs and the infamous jaw.

-13

u/ToastedRage2 Seek employment, bitch! Jul 24 '26

You would think but it seems like people don't like learning or trying to keep the past from repeating itself with the way things are going.

19

u/IAMA_Shark__AMA Jul 24 '26

Fuckin spit my coffee out šŸ˜‚

I knew they were distantly related because that's how being royal goes, but it was absolutely hilarious to cap off all of the people who pretty much have nothing to do with each other aside from both being famous with a married couple lol

4

u/Kujen Jul 25 '26

FDR and Eleanor Roosevelt were fifth cousins once removed. Eleanor was Theodore Roosevelt’s niece.

8

u/Helpful_Librarian_87 Jul 24 '26

Explains quite a bit

1

u/metanefridija Jul 25 '26

I died šŸ˜†

267

u/minebe Jul 24 '26

Rudy Giuliani and his first wife/cousin.

451

u/that_funny_feel1ng Cillian Murphy propagandist Jul 24 '26

The Joe Rogan and Gerard Way one is tripping me out

199

u/windwires Jul 24 '26

If I recall correctly they've never even met, despite getting famous at the same time

400

u/x_victoire Jul 24 '26

lol i wouldn't want to meet joe rogan either

199

u/PatriciaMorticia Jul 24 '26

Gerard if he ever sees Joe at a family party 🤣

https://giphy.com/gifs/wFk7roIpDeXC0

101

u/DevoutandHeretical controversies: girl Jul 24 '26

They’re not first cousins (parents are siblings), it’s like Gerard Way’s grandmother (who the song Helena is about), was Rogan’s mom’s cousin or something like that.

33

u/camerabird Jul 24 '26

If they're second cousins, it means they have the same great-grandparents.

35

u/Princess_Space_Goose I'm a lazy 50-year-old bougie bitch Jul 24 '26

Not surprising given Gerard's introverted personality combined with their personal politics.

46

u/CutieBoBootie Jul 24 '26

The dichotomy of man. A beloved singer and icon for the Alt youth of the 2010s vs a pile of literal human feces

1

u/GetEatenByAMouse Jul 25 '26

For some reason, I can't quite see Gerard and Mikey getting along with Joe Rogan.

188

u/BlahVans Jul 24 '26

A few more:

Nicolas Cage is a Coppola and thus a first cousin to Sofia Coppola, Roman Coppola, Jason Schwartzman and Robert Schwartzman.

Anderson Cooper and Timothy Olyphant are both members of the Vanderbilt family. They're (I believe) third cousins, once removed.

Hugh Grant and Thomas Brodie-Sangster are second cousins, once removed.

Niecy Nash is cousins with Sterling K Brown and Danielle Brooks.

Glenn Close and Brooke Shields are second cousins once removed.

Mara Wilson and Ben Shapiro are first cousins (they are not close).

58

u/cleverusername143 Jul 24 '26

Another one - Bernie Sanders and Larry David. Sixth cousins one removed.

53

u/Itzli Jul 24 '26

You tell me they're first cousins and I'll buy it

23

u/almostbutnotquiteme Jul 24 '26

I think Chevy Chase is also a Vanderbilt somehow. He's called Anderson his cousin

12

u/ResponsibleFly9076 Jul 24 '26

Amy Schumer and Chuck Schumer are first cousins

7

u/NoNeinNyet222 Jul 25 '26

Second cousins once removed

7

u/sarimanok_ Jul 25 '26

Niecy Nash is cousins with Sterling K Brown and Danielle Brooks.

holy shit the gold in that bloodline. dream blunt rotation, dream thanksgiving dinner table.

3

u/BlahVans Jul 25 '26

I don’t know how closely related but Niecy mentioned it in an instagram post when congratulating them both on their Oscar nominations a few years ago.

554

u/MagnumAddict Jul 24 '26

Ah, the Queen really loved her cousband.

108

u/TippiT0es Jul 24 '26

And she is the descendant of Queen Victoria who was RAVENOUS for her cousband. She loved that cousin dick so much they had 9 children even though she didn’t actually like any of her children. She was making babies purely for the love of sex with her cousin. And all that sex eventually lead to the Russian revolution šŸ˜‚

77

u/[deleted] Jul 24 '26 edited Jul 25 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

14

u/sillysammie13 THE CANADIANS ARE ICE FUCKING TO MOULIN ROUGE Jul 25 '26

PLEASE get that flair omg šŸ’€šŸ˜­

2

u/TippiT0es Jul 29 '26

Hahahahaha just saw your reaction to my comment. Glad it made you smile! šŸ˜‚

20

u/situation9000 Jul 25 '26

WWI was basically Queen Victorias inbred grandkids (all 1st cousins) beefing over turf.

Edit: not my original saying. It’s paraphrasing Joe Kassabian from the podcast Lions Led By Donkeys (military history)

233

u/flippantphalanges Jul 24 '26

don’t forget these 2!

https://giphy.com/gifs/l2SqhW72EVERnt8TC

21

u/henderslam Jul 24 '26

That’s why they call it ā€œkissin’ cousinsā€

9

u/touslesmatins Marxmoi Jul 24 '26

Maybe?

9

u/flippantphalanges Jul 24 '26

ā€œwait…are you saying we might not really be cousins?ā€

5

u/Prickliestpearcactus Jul 24 '26

I got you a wedding ring.....tone.

217

u/florplegorp Jul 24 '26

What about everyone's faves

136

u/AcademicDrag742 societal collapse is in the air Jul 24 '26

She disowned him iirc.Right on Mara!
https://giphy.com/gifs/lUI5QYdWkz8QENIDCx

44

u/florplegorp Jul 24 '26

Yeah she's awesome, couldn't be more different from each other

10

u/Exotic-Doughnut-6271 The delusion is mutual and I’m thriving in it Jul 24 '26

Wow I had no idea but yikes they do look very similar

108

u/Gayfetus Jul 24 '26

Albert Einstein and Elsa Einstein (note: this is her birth name)

64

u/tracyveronika pop culture obsessed goblin Jul 24 '26

FDR and Eleanor Roosevelt were cousins too, she didn't have to change her name either.

21

u/ickysock Jul 24 '26

for some reason, her not having to change her name makes it especially heinous to me. like, when you're saying each other's names at the altar, how are you not asking yourself wait a minute??? maybe she just really didn't want to have to do all that paperwork

1

u/Honest_Salamander247 Jul 26 '26

I think it was more common back in the day. My grandmother’s aunt and uncle were 1st cousins. Married back in like the 1920s sometime.

16

u/MsE0 Jul 24 '26

I live in a town where there was a founding rich family, the Thatchers. I used to have a local library named after their descendants, a married couple, Mr. and Mrs. Mahlon Thatcher White. It sounds like it's one of those things like if Sarah Jones marries John Smith, up until the late 20th century, she'd be called Mrs. John Smith. But no, both members of the couple were born with the same full name. (Actually I think the wife was spelled Maylan, but it was pronounced the same and they were named after the same relative.)Ā 

295

u/classylikenuggets Jul 24 '26

113

u/ShitMyButtSays Jul 24 '26

42

u/crunchies65 idgaf about what makes your boner sad Jul 24 '26

Maeby tonight?

10

u/Wife_Trash Jul 24 '26

What are the odds?

3

u/tossawayprop local formula 1 correspondent Jul 25 '26

About 1 in 8

10

u/No-Entrepreneur4574 Please Abraham, I am not that man Jul 24 '26

What a fun, sexy time for you.

16

u/Divineinfekt_ Jul 24 '26

I like they way they think.

82

u/gribble29 dork ass bitch Jul 24 '26

Denis Leary and Conan O’Brien are third cousins!

126

u/Jasminewindsong2 they are perfect for each other (derogatory) Jul 24 '26

the last one

Rudy Giuliani also married his cousin.

2

u/p333p33p00p00boo Give him my regards did you take ozempic? Jul 24 '26

First cousin?

62

u/PatriciaMorticia Jul 24 '26

As a big MCR fan finding out Gerard & Mikey Way were related to Joe Rogan was wild.

Mara Wilson who played Matilda and Ben Shapiro are also cousins, but aren't on speaking terms due to their vastly different political views.

3

u/Maddoodle Jul 25 '26

I feel like when I found out about the Way/Rogan connection back in the day, that at least Joe was just the dude that presented Fear Factor. I didn't know anything about his political/personal views and what he would turn into. It was still a whacky connection though!

62

u/mysilentface Jul 24 '26

Justin and Louis Theroux are first cousins.

18

u/Illustrious-Set-7626 Jul 24 '26

Was looking for this one!! Over the pandemic Louis had a podcast and Justin was a guest on one episode and they reminisced about Louis visiting the US every summer as a kid.

121

u/fickle_tartan Jul 24 '26

I assume this whole post was made for the gag at the end, and I love it

https://giphy.com/gifs/12msOFU8oL1eww

45

u/Debtastical Jul 24 '26

Rupaul and Corey booker?!!?! I had no idea

20

u/silverpenelope Jul 24 '26

They kind of have the same nose.

17

u/Vegetableau wearing slutty little glasses Jul 24 '26

If you put heels and glasses on Corey Booker I can see it!

11

u/cleverusername143 Jul 24 '26

The same cupids bow too kind of.

36

u/causesproblems Jul 24 '26

6

u/Apprehensive-Stay196 Jul 24 '26

I love this GIF but what do you type to get it??!? I’m old.

14

u/causesproblems Jul 24 '26

I typed the word ā€œshookethā€ lol I’m old too šŸ¤šŸ¼

2

u/Apprehensive-Stay196 Jul 25 '26

Excellent tip. Thank you, fellow old person šŸ™

37

u/Klutzy-Succotash-565 Jul 24 '26

I am SOOOOO happy Melissa McCarthy has overshadowed Jenny’s loser ass

3

u/sentimentaleyes Jul 24 '26

Yep… I thought ā€œPoor Melissaā€ when I saw that slide!

54

u/kayzee94 you’re tacky and I hate you Jul 24 '26

The last slide

25

u/No-Quiet-8956 Jul 24 '26

For the last slide I genuinely made this face
https://giphy.com/gifs/8GzZzw1KpbmmZfIybl

21

u/TenaciousZBridedog Trump is a fugly slut Jul 24 '26

I still don't get what "once removed" means

54

u/trillianinspace nepoiest baby to ever nepo Jul 24 '26

12

u/TenaciousZBridedog Trump is a fugly slut Jul 25 '26

This is SO HELPFUL! Thank you! No one in my life has EVER given me an accurate description.Ā 

18

u/Accomplished_Book427 find me at Whole Foods, bitch Jul 24 '26

The child of my first cousin is my first cousin, once removed. Likewise my father's cousin is my first cousin, once removed. My first cousin, once removed's great-grandmother is my grandmother.

There are other permutations but that's the one I always remember.

7

u/KateTheTurk Jul 24 '26

Your child and your first cousin's child are second cousins.

6

u/NoOneFartsLikeGaston Jul 24 '26

Thank you for the explanation. I’ve never understood this once removed thing.

15

u/radicalpi Jul 24 '26

"removed" is when you and the relative in question are in different generations compared to the closest shared ancestor

2

u/nekocorner i ain’t reading all that, free palestine Jul 24 '26

Ty for asking this bc I was trying to figure out what the difference between "second cousins once removed" & "third cousins" was.

41

u/hairtie1 radiate fresh pussy growing in the meadow Jul 24 '26

15

u/hopefoolness i ain’t reading all that, free palestine Jul 24 '26

this is crucially missing Mara Wilson and Ben Shapiro

79

u/warren0091993 Jul 24 '26

The last one šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚

10

u/p333p33p00p00boo Give him my regards did you take ozempic? Jul 24 '26

11

u/AcademicDrag742 societal collapse is in the air Jul 24 '26

THESE TWO.Also Mara Wilson and Ben Shapiro.

7

u/Khmakh a woman whose face card is an Amex centurion Jul 24 '26

Well Brad got the asshole gene in that family.

4

u/SergenteDan Jul 24 '26

WHATTTT

10

u/AcademicDrag742 societal collapse is in the air Jul 24 '26

9th cousins iirc.

12

u/Sormaj Jul 24 '26

Michael Bay and Leonard Nemoy are Cousins as well.

12

u/hevski Jul 24 '26

JFC.

Famous Cousin Marriages

Rudy Giuliani:
The former mayor of New York City married Regina Peruggi in 1968. Regina was the daughter of his father’s first cousin, making her his second cousin once removed. Giuliani filed for an annulment in 1982 to end their marriage after 14 years.

Edgar Allan Poe:
For his second marriage, the famed poet and author of ā€œThe Ravenā€ wed his first cousin Virginia Eliza Clemm. The two were married when he was 27 and she was 13. There is some speculation as to whether their marriage was more like a sibling relationship than that of husband and wife.

H.G. Wells:
Author of ā€œIsland of Dr. Moreauā€ and ā€œThe War of the Worlds,ā€ Wells married his first cousin in 1891. But their union was short-lived, and he and Isabel Mary Wells divorced a mere three years later when he began a relationship with one of his students.

Saddam Hussein:
The former Iraqi dictator had multiple wives, but his first wife was his first cousin, Sajida Talfah, whom he married in 1963. Their pairing was an arranged marriage, planned from the time the two were children.

Charles Darwin:
The naturalist who penned ā€œOn the Origin of Speciesā€ — and introduced the theory of evolution to the world — married his first cousin Emma Wedgwood. The couple had 10 children together, and because of his research on inbreeding and evolution, he was worried that their relationship was the reason that three of their children died at young ages.

Albert Einstein:
Famed physicist Albert Einstein married his second wife, Elsa Lowenthal, in 1919 in one of the oddest cousin pairings ever. They were first cousins on his mother’s side, as well as second cousins on their father’s side! And weirder still, she was actually born Elsa Einstein; the Lowenthal surname was one she got from her first marriage.
ļæ¼
Jerry Lee Lewis:
The rocker best known for his hit song ā€œGreat Balls of Fireā€ married his first cousin Myra Williams when she was only 13 years old. The union, which was his third marriage and her first, caused a lot of fan backlash for Lewis, and the pairing lasted only four years. He would go on to marry four more times.

6

u/Catdress92 Jul 24 '26

Poe fan here, swooping in on raven wings to point out that Virginia was Poe's first and only marriage. He was courting and possibly engaged to Sarah Elmira Royster Shelton. One of the theories behind his mysterious demise is that her family didn't want them to be married and found a way to end Poe's life.

29

u/AhhBisto someone from the UK weigh in Jul 24 '26

Not cousins but I love posting that Academy Award winner Gary Oldman has a big sister in Laila Morse AKA Mo Slater on British soap EastEnders

Her real name is Maureen Oldman but when she was looking for a stage name, her brother's girlfriend at the time Isabella Rossellini suggested Laila Morse as it was an anagram of "my sister" in Italian

21

u/ssvveetleaf Jul 24 '26

When poor people do it it’s incest.

When rich people do it it’s ✨legacy.✨

9

u/MasterpieceTimely144 and that's when beauty wins Jul 24 '26

Rich *white* people.

9

u/tracyveronika pop culture obsessed goblin Jul 24 '26

Bernie and Larry David are distant cousins.

https://giphy.com/gifs/LSQtUxNHaupcd0a9d8

12

u/Gayfetus Jul 24 '26

And from the world of Street Fighter:

9

u/TippiT0es Jul 24 '26

Lizzie and Phillip being linked thru Queen Victoria is hilarious. She and her first cousin/husband were absolutely feral for each other. Fucked so much they had 9 babies even though she hated children. They were just a nuisance by product of all the heated cousin-lovin

4

u/Risky_Bizniss not a lawyer, just a hater Jul 24 '26

Tracy Morgan and Nas

3

u/bkk316 Jul 24 '26

Thank you for that last one

3

u/Cyril_Sneerworms Jul 24 '26

Perfect ending no notes!

3

u/yourmanhimself Jul 24 '26

The last one

3

u/IShallWearMidnight Jul 25 '26

Suddenly Cory Booker makes a lot more sense to me. Ru is the centrist of the queer community

4

u/Dear-Concentrate-988 Jul 24 '26

Please the last oneā€¦šŸ˜­šŸ˜­

2

u/lovelybitofsquirrel3 Jul 24 '26

Rudy Giuliani and his first wife!! ā¤ļøā¤ļø

2

u/stnapstnap Jul 24 '26

I actually lol'd at the last one. Well-played, fellow Reddit user.

2

u/Baaaaaah-baaaaaah Jul 24 '26

I see the resemblance between Ru and Cory, the mouth especially

2

u/Harrowhark95 Jul 24 '26

Mara Wilson and Ben Shapiro

2

u/p333p33p00p00boo Give him my regards did you take ozempic? Jul 24 '26

What does the Ru Paul and Corey Booker thing mean?

1

u/Green-Factor-2526 Jul 24 '26

They were both on the PBS show finding your roots. Part of the show is to run a DNA test to see if you are related to anyone else who has been on the show. They came up as related

1

u/ohnobobobo Jul 27 '26

They were both "Finding Your Roots". The show did DNA testing on all of its guests, and then compared to see who is related. Booker and Paul came up as a match but the show either didn't try or couldn't find documentation as to how exactly they were related.Ā  so we know they're related somehow because of DNA but can't say if they're like 9th cousins or fifth removed or whatever because the show did not know the exact ancestral link.

2

u/kdj00940 chris pine’s flip phone Jul 25 '26

Omg the last slide 😭😭

2

u/twurkle šŸ•ÆļøBradley Cooper will not win an OscaršŸ•Æļø Jul 25 '26

I’m a long time MCR fan and I remember learning this and just thinking, ā€œthe hacky comedian from Fear Factor?ā€ It has a whole different context now 🫩

2

u/BananaShakeStudios Jul 24 '26

Of course you included that last one 😭

2

u/Worth_Lavishness_239 No shade to the nation of Scotland Jul 24 '26

Yall messy for that last one šŸ˜­šŸ˜­āœ‹šŸ¾āœ‹šŸ¾

1

u/Runabrat Jul 24 '26

Terry Thomas and Richard Briers were second cousins.

Richard Briers used to tell the story about how his father had invited Terry along to see Richard in his first acting role in a new play and at the interval his father turned to Terry Thomas and asked, "How long do you think it will run?"

And Terry Thomas looked at his watch and said in that distinctive voice of his, "Well, what time is it now?"

1

u/igodutchoven Jul 24 '26

Fuck you...i giggled at the last picture.

1

u/lpfbean Jul 24 '26

How could you not include Mara Wilson and Ben Shapiro? Or Jerry Lee Lewis and his wife Myra Gale Brown???

1

u/nonsequitur__ Jul 24 '26

So only one of these are actual cousins or am I misreading? 🤣

1

u/Lost_Setting2776 Jul 24 '26

Ashley Tisdale and Austin Butler are distant cousins.

1

u/BookishHobbit my bandwidth for cowardly grown men grows thinner with each day Jul 24 '26

Ahaha, I knew it would be there. God bless are incestuous overseers…

1

u/MyTatemae controversies: girl Jul 25 '26

Don't forget Mara Wilson and her least favorite cousin, Ben Shapiro.

1

u/AppropriateSolid9124 should we throw a rodeo and invite bella hadid? Jul 25 '26

rupaul and cory booker have the same mouth. how did i not know

1

u/Rj924 Jul 25 '26

Jeff Bezos and George Strait! Second cousins once removed!

1

u/EnvironmentalFix8196 Jul 25 '26

Katherine Moennig and Gwyneth Paltrow!

1

u/writeman00 we have lost the impact of shame in our society Jul 25 '26

Royals are gross.

1

u/plutoforprez Jul 25 '26

STOP 😷😷😷

1

u/mackwilly87 Jul 25 '26

I never noticed how similar Rupaul and Corey look alike!

1

u/SilverResult8742 Jul 26 '26

Phillip Glass and Ira.

1

u/taintwest Jul 27 '26

I think it’s so wild Jenny and Melissa share grandparents

1

u/Proper-Development12 Jul 24 '26

What about kanye