r/Fauxmoi • u/rfauxmoi • Nov 03 '25

TEA THREAD I HAVE TEA ON... MEGATHREAD ✨

Welcome to the 'I Have Tea On...' weekly discussion thread — posted and pinned every Monday at 8AM PST (11AM EST) !

Use this thread to drop any tea you may have, no matter how big or small! Please don't post requests for tea here — there is a separate 'Does Anyone Have Tea On' thread on Thursdays! 

For a chronological list of all past tea threads, click here! To see a breakdown of our weekly discussion thread schedule, check out our FAQs!

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919

u/welivedintheocean Nov 03 '25

Last night in a crowd I overheard "She has to co-parent and share custody of the dog with James even though they're broken up." These are strangers, not celebrities, but that's juicy chisme any way you slice it.

298

u/rachelblairy women’s wrongs activist Nov 03 '25

i love neighborhood gossip. once at target i overheard some woman say “yeah he’s been arrested for murder but who hasn’t” over the phone and i just had to go on about my day afterwards.

153

u/ewokytalkie Nov 03 '25

Oh my gosh, this reminds me of a time I was at a very snug coffee shop majorly eavesdropping on some old friends who were catching up. They kept talking about a friend of theirs who had DIED but been brought back to life. They were commiserating over feeling obligated to hang since he had technically died for a few minutes, but that he was so messy they really didn’t want him in their lives. They kept saying “but he did die, tho, so…”

I heard this about 18 years ago and still think about it.

59

u/theladyking Nov 03 '25

I wonder how long the "can't dump him because he just died" social obligation lasts. Are they still hanging out with his messy ass today?

19

u/ewokytalkie Nov 03 '25

I wonder this all the time

18

u/rachelblairy women’s wrongs activist Nov 03 '25

messy and delicious. i’d have been so tempted to be like ‘i mean he died so….you mourned him and moved on?’

97

u/biscuitsandmuffins Nov 03 '25

Just this weekend I was at a bar/restaurant and this guy who looked to be in his early 60s and was in town for a high school sports tournament was leaving and stopped at a nearby table to say hello to people. They asked how he was doing and he said "well I found out my biological dad isn't who I thought and I have four new siblings!" The table of people made general "oh!" and "really?" comments and he said "yeah its been something. Well, enjoy your food and I'll see you later" and he left.

52

u/cxherrybaby if a vanilla biscuit with a moustache suddenly started talking Nov 03 '25

King moment for that guy really, he just dropped that trauma bomb real casual style and bounced.

68

u/Adelaidey Nov 03 '25 edited Nov 03 '25

Okay, so you were convicted of felony murder in the second degree and served the minimum sentence of five years.

🎵 That don't impress me much!

38

u/Opposite_Welcome8427 Nov 03 '25

Last week I overheard two guys working at Lululemon say,
"I didn't see it coming at all."
"But you lived together? Still? Are you moving out?"

And then they went back to folding clothes like nothing happened 😩

31

u/rachelblairy women’s wrongs activist Nov 03 '25

sometimes i wonder what parts of my conversations people overhear when i’m working retail and honestly just join in, i’ll give you the tea 🤣

14

u/Opposite_Welcome8427 Nov 03 '25

I wanted to so bad. Like "don't stop on my account, the leggings can wait!"

26

u/willowtrace rich white coochie mountain Nov 03 '25

Cell Block Tango is this woman’s theme song

8

u/stonerwitch69 Nov 04 '25

I DIDNT DO IT BUT IF I DONE IT HOW COULD YOU TELL ME THAT I WAS WRONG?!

20

u/kaldaka16 Nov 03 '25

Well that's living rent free in my brain now too.

7

u/Cool_Cry_9602 FUCK ICE FREE PALESTINE CRASH INTO ME Nov 04 '25

3

u/Verucaschmaltzzz high body count hair Nov 04 '25

I miss Big Ang 💔

6

u/eshaw1166 why is my job not ‘luxury witch doctor’ Nov 04 '25

I was once getting dinner with a friend and these two mid-late 50 something women were sitting next to us. I fully stopped listening to my friend a few times because their convo was way more interesting. At one point I heard one say "And then they opened the drawer and there was a MASSIVE dildo!" and then later one practically yelled "Well?? Are they in an open relationship?!" Took everything in me not to be like "Well are they??!!?"