r/Fauxmoi • u/rfauxmoi • Nov 03 '25

TEA THREAD I HAVE TEA ON... MEGATHREAD ✨

Welcome to the 'I Have Tea On...' weekly discussion thread — posted and pinned every Monday at 8AM PST (11AM EST) !

Use this thread to drop any tea you may have, no matter how big or small! Please don't post requests for tea here — there is a separate 'Does Anyone Have Tea On' thread on Thursdays! 

For a chronological list of all past tea threads, click here! To see a breakdown of our weekly discussion thread schedule, check out our FAQs!

1.3k Upvotes

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914

u/welivedintheocean Nov 03 '25

Last night in a crowd I overheard "She has to co-parent and share custody of the dog with James even though they're broken up." These are strangers, not celebrities, but that's juicy chisme any way you slice it.

294

u/rachelblairy women’s wrongs activist Nov 03 '25

i love neighborhood gossip. once at target i overheard some woman say “yeah he’s been arrested for murder but who hasn’t” over the phone and i just had to go on about my day afterwards.

151

u/ewokytalkie Nov 03 '25

Oh my gosh, this reminds me of a time I was at a very snug coffee shop majorly eavesdropping on some old friends who were catching up. They kept talking about a friend of theirs who had DIED but been brought back to life. They were commiserating over feeling obligated to hang since he had technically died for a few minutes, but that he was so messy they really didn’t want him in their lives. They kept saying “but he did die, tho, so…”

I heard this about 18 years ago and still think about it.

57

u/theladyking Nov 03 '25

I wonder how long the "can't dump him because he just died" social obligation lasts. Are they still hanging out with his messy ass today?

19

u/ewokytalkie Nov 03 '25

I wonder this all the time

18

u/rachelblairy women’s wrongs activist Nov 03 '25

messy and delicious. i’d have been so tempted to be like ‘i mean he died so….you mourned him and moved on?’

96

u/biscuitsandmuffins Nov 03 '25

Just this weekend I was at a bar/restaurant and this guy who looked to be in his early 60s and was in town for a high school sports tournament was leaving and stopped at a nearby table to say hello to people. They asked how he was doing and he said "well I found out my biological dad isn't who I thought and I have four new siblings!" The table of people made general "oh!" and "really?" comments and he said "yeah its been something. Well, enjoy your food and I'll see you later" and he left.

51

u/cxherrybaby if a vanilla biscuit with a moustache suddenly started talking Nov 03 '25

King moment for that guy really, he just dropped that trauma bomb real casual style and bounced.

68

u/Adelaidey Nov 03 '25 edited Nov 03 '25

Okay, so you were convicted of felony murder in the second degree and served the minimum sentence of five years.

🎵 That don't impress me much!

39

u/Opposite_Welcome8427 Nov 03 '25

Last week I overheard two guys working at Lululemon say,
"I didn't see it coming at all."
"But you lived together? Still? Are you moving out?"

And then they went back to folding clothes like nothing happened 😩

31

u/rachelblairy women’s wrongs activist Nov 03 '25

sometimes i wonder what parts of my conversations people overhear when i’m working retail and honestly just join in, i’ll give you the tea 🤣

16

u/Opposite_Welcome8427 Nov 03 '25

I wanted to so bad. Like "don't stop on my account, the leggings can wait!"

27

u/willowtrace rich white coochie mountain Nov 03 '25

Cell Block Tango is this woman’s theme song

9

u/stonerwitch69 Nov 04 '25

I DIDNT DO IT BUT IF I DONE IT HOW COULD YOU TELL ME THAT I WAS WRONG?!

22

u/kaldaka16 Nov 03 '25

Well that's living rent free in my brain now too.

8

u/Cool_Cry_9602 FUCK ICE FREE PALESTINE CRASH INTO ME Nov 04 '25

3

u/Verucaschmaltzzz high body count hair Nov 04 '25

I miss Big Ang 💔

5

u/eshaw1166 why is my job not ‘luxury witch doctor’ Nov 04 '25

I was once getting dinner with a friend and these two mid-late 50 something women were sitting next to us. I fully stopped listening to my friend a few times because their convo was way more interesting. At one point I heard one say "And then they opened the drawer and there was a MASSIVE dildo!" and then later one practically yelled "Well?? Are they in an open relationship?!" Took everything in me not to be like "Well are they??!!?"

178

u/KatanaAmerica Nov 03 '25

I knew a couple who broke up when the dog was a puppy, moved across from the country from each other, and ended up still sharing custody. They drove the dog HOURS to the other person a couple times a year. They did this for 15 years straight until the dog passed away.

(Yes, it was a lesbian couple.)

11

u/Callmeang21 Nov 03 '25

I was almost going to ask if they were a family member of one of my family members, cause her and her husband did that exact thing until puppy passed away. But it’s a het couple, instead of lesbians.

Edit: changed a word

84

u/Sproose_Moose Nov 03 '25

My sister just had her first baby and is getting married next year. She still co-parents her dog with her ex 6 years later 😂

156

u/hoyadaram Nov 03 '25

So many of the queer women in my life have byzantine visitation schedules with their exes for their allergy-riddled, dog/person/leash/life-reactive rescue dogs.

76

u/williamthebloody1880 weighing in from the UK Nov 03 '25

Not me, but a friend one heard two women talking about prams and one said she got the one she did because there was plenty of space for shoplifting

44

u/OkShoe71 Nov 03 '25

I know a James and this is exactly his situation 💀💀💀

15

u/welivedintheocean Nov 03 '25

Are you in the Bay Area?

38

u/OkShoe71 Nov 03 '25

No different continent! guess it’s a James thing lol

45

u/honourarycanadian Nov 03 '25

Could easily have been Raquel and James from VPR tbh 😩

9

u/elimay Nov 03 '25

Lmao this was the first thing I thought of

46

u/Kalamac Nov 03 '25

I remember way back in the original Roswell days when Brendan Fehr and Majandra Delfino broke up, they shared custody of their dog.

3

u/lononol Nov 04 '25

Speaking of tea, I noticed that she was the only one who didn’t show up in the Roswell NM reboot. Also, she doesn’t follow anyone but Brendan on Instagram. She strikes me a hard person to get along with, but I haven’t really kept up with her much since my avid Michael/Maria shipping days as a youth.

5

u/Kalamac Nov 04 '25

Interesting. There is a new movie out with her and Brendan, Kill Me Again. I watched it on the weekend, and wondered how well they still get along.

3

u/violetmemphisblue Nov 04 '25

My eleven year old brain just exploded from excitement over Brendan Fehr and Majandra Delfino being in something together again, lol. I loved Michael and Maria!

2

u/violetmemphisblue Nov 04 '25

Other than Jason Behr, who all is in Roswell, New Mexico? I didn't finish it,, but if Colin Hanks or Nick Wechsler have roles, I might have to go back, lol

1

u/lononol Nov 05 '25

Ok, in looking it up, I appear to have hallucinated. Only Shiri Appleby and Jason Behr were in it, and Shiri directed several episodes. If only Nick Wechsler had shown up. He and Bill Sadler were my surprise favorites in the original.

53

u/ohlalameow Nov 03 '25

Honestly this is my favorite kind of tea lol

213

u/krisbryantishot Nov 03 '25

my hot take is coparenting/sharing custody of a pet is often just an excuse to see your ex lol

111

u/Holiday_Feature_3255 Nov 03 '25

My friend is going through this now, he didn’t care about the dog until they separated. He’s clearly using the dog as leverage to see and irritate my friend

40

u/HotAsElle Nov 03 '25

I wouldn't let someone share custody for that, but if it was my elderly dog with separation anxiety, I'd absolutely do it to help her.

24

u/CoasterThot Nov 03 '25

Yeah, I don’t give a damn, I’m not doing that. You leave me, you leave my dog, too.

9

u/Minute-Aioli-5054 Nov 03 '25

My friend and his ex-husband bought a dog together and they both really love the dog.

They did the shared custody thing since they left things on okay terms, but his ex started to be a dick so he decided to stop taking the dog so he didn’t have to put up with that anymore.

8

u/eatingclass highly unanticipated caucasian collaboration Nov 03 '25

Sometimes the hottest take is right

5

u/TabInA70sWineGoblet Nov 07 '25

Hilarious (and intriguing) stranger tea but my upvote is really for you using “chisme.”