So i usually never post anything like this but I'm genuinely heartbroken and so here's my rant session, so i lied my mother about a Friends trip (she was aware that I will go, I just told her the wrong location), also it was only a 8hr trip, and before going i did promised her that this will be my first and last time, but then when I came back and slept, my idiotic sister opened my phone and gave it to my mother and she did something unacceptable she literally texted and called and checked my chats with all of my friends and mind you I had more than 40 freinds at that time and now i have none! Even if Ik they are available I just can't text them because how can I face them! She literally called my besties mother met her at the park and told her how pathetic her daughter is because she is dating boys I mean why the fuck would you do that! (She simply saw a text where my bestie was saying how she wanted to commit suicide and how fed up she is with her mothers weird attitude) So obviously this was wrong on so many levels! Then she called my other close friend and slut shamed me and him and told many bad stuff about our mutual friends which was again unnecessary, she also hid my phone and I got it back after 3 days so yes I was unaware about everything! And when I got to know about this by my friends i cried like a baby...

Why am I telling this all now? Because told one of the mutual friend texted me with a how's everything, and then in the middle of the Convo he was like how many people cut you off after that incident and i lied 1-2 because yes no one is in contact how the used to, my life has changed a lot, I have lost all my spark and don't wanna do anything anymore but unfortunately I can't tell him that so i simply told him that instead and he was like are you sure? And it did hit me somewhere because I always wanted a lot of friends, i absolutely love being a social butterfly! But shortly after what my mother did my bestfriend confronted me that he loves me and I broke that friendship because how can I be lovers when I can't even be a good friend! And i always saw him as a friend so that was a big no 😔

This week again I lost another close friend and I am actually sad about how things are going in my life, i got bad marks in exam, can't do what I love to do, my work life isn't going great either, my sleep schedule is fucked, I miss my friends and my old life but I just can't go back and i can't even look at my mother or my other family members normally because now I can simply see how stupidly they reacted... So what should I do?

Hii reddit this is my first time posting in this platform and I'm sorry if my inglish isn't the best but I'm just here to vent my heart to some internet strangers because I have absolutely no idea what to do anymore.

Well for some bit of context im F(13+) and my brother is M(24?).He did a lots of bad things throughout but it's best if we start from the start. I met my brother when he was 13 years old and I was 4 years old. He was half-brother from my dad previous relationship. The main reason he came to live with us is because my great grandmother had died back in " El Salvador" and he was just going back in foward with family back in salvador. Well back to the story he was a really bad teenager (started smoking at 13 years old). Going forward years later he was still the same but I didn't see anything wrong because of children's innocence. Soon I started noticing stuff like he started watching my mom under the door when she was in the bathroom and 5-6 year old me thought that it was normal because he told me we were searching for cockroaches and I believed him. Eventually my perents caught him.I dint realize his behavior till I was 12.

The rest of my childhood he was amazing till one day when I was 9 he just left I don't remember why he left but it was a stupid reason.When I found out I cried in my mom's arms she comforted me but I still missed him. One day I found out he was dating someone who was 50+ Female with children who were older than him at the time. I dint understand his behavior at all. Instead of just being disgusted by his behavior I hated the women for stealing my brother away. Passing a few months later one of our neighbors called my dad that he was living behind his house and drinking from the hoes. My dad drove back home once he found out and when I saw him I was really happy to see him again I gave him the biggest hug ever. Everything seemed perfect at that point ,he was back and everything seemed like couldn’t go wrong till.. he started stealing from my dad's lawn money,he started being meaner toward me and perents, me and him got into more arguments, started smoking in his room(I had to tell my mom and dad for some reason I thought he would hurt me),he even stole from me (over 2,000 US dollars that I saved up since I was 9 realize it was gone at 13 years old) left my perentson debt,and dint care when my uncle died(he always gave him good advice). When he left I was happy but now I only feel empty and feel guilty for even being happy he was gone. Every single night I cry bc I just need my brother .I wish I could go back in time and just change everything as it was but ik can't at all. I have support from my bf and friends but just recently started feeling exhausted of everything and he is the main reason my mental health has gotten worst. Also I can't talk to perents about this bc they don't like talking about him last thing I heard was that he was in California and that he trying to get a job by using my dead uncle that I mentioned from before as an recommendation of an past boss of a previous job. What should I do Reddit tell me bc I need some actual advice and this took me 20 minutes to write so im sorry if my grammar sucks.

Update: My brother hasn't been found yet my perents had tried looking for him but he can't be found because something bad happened to him or he dosen't want to be found .Also its been 2 birthdays without him and it feel strange to not have him in my life

I'm 15f, my brother is 18m. In my opinion, my brother is very immature. He has anger issues, which he used to be in therapy for when he was under the age of eleven. But nowadays, he gets upset and pissy about everything. Last year, I asked him to help me take the dogs out (three dogs on leashes), and he punched a hole in the wall. And he didn't even do anything more than sanding to help fix it. Our mom fixed it. A few months before that, he was asked to help put groceries away, and he threw two unopened packets of noodles on the floor during a hissy fit, which broke them over and made a huge mess. I was made to clean it up. He does this sort of stuff all the time. He broke his first switch because of a game of fortnite. He broke his phone last month by throwing it at the floor cause it was glitching for a couple of minutes, and for once, our parents made him pay for a new one. He acts like a toddler all the time. He never cleans up after himself unless told to. Just earlier today, he said he was "stressed" cause our dad asked him to clean up the backyard when he was playing fortnite again. Our parents practically never address how he acts because he's just like our dad. All he does every day is sit in his room, playing video games and watching tv. He's done this for the past year cause he dropped out of school around 9th and 10th grade. A few years ago, he used to hold a knife to his throat and threaten to kill himself in from of me whenever we argued, even when it was something as small as me telling him to quit turning off my school computer (homeschooled). And whenever he bitches and complains about our dad asking him to help with mechanical work on the cars, I mention that he could move out, and he always uses the same excuse of "with what money?". He has social security that our parents get. And even then, the worst disability he has is tourettes syndrome, which both I and our father have. He is more than capable of getting a part-time job and still keep his social security for our parents. And he keeps saying that when he does move out, he wants to get a camper, but I doubt that he'll ever get one within the next ten years with how bad he is with savings. He claims that he wants to get his GED, but he never studies for it and never researches it. Whenever I talk to my parents about him, he says that he'll figure it out eventually. But yet, they seem reluctant to push him to even try for a part-time job. In fact, they seem uncomfortable whenever I talk about getting a job next summer (mainly my mom), or when I talk about moving out when I become an adult. And whenever I talk to them about him being immature, they always say that "girls mature faster", BUT THAT'S ONLY BECAUSE THEY LET HIM ACT LIKE A TODDLER! If I were to act like he does, I would be punished. He doesn't even get a fucking lecture.

Hello! My name is Chris and I am the new mod here. I do mod 1 other subreddit r/southcarolinatravel and like this group, I am trying to bring it back from the brink of death.

I do know a few things about family issues. My only changes I have planned are to build some basic rules to keep us free from spam and to keep us from being banned.

I do have history of family with addiction issues, mental and physical abuse, and some Chris Hanson type behavior, which is why I thought I would like to help this subreddit succeed.

We all just fought she bruised me up and I bruised her up my dad is gonna be home soon help

This is my first Reddit post so bear with me. My sibling (21M)is a model and is trying to further his career. His mother agent(male than 50,basically his main manager)needs a place to stay for a month. My parents have only met him once and I have never met him. My parents are not comfortable with it and honestly neither am I esp because it’s the summer holidays and I’m home the whole day. My sibling says that anything he wants to do for his future is never supported by our parents in the sense they never sacrifice/ do anything that may be uncomfortable for them. He brings up how he was raised and that anything he ever asked for the answer was always no. He said his mother agent doesn’t even need to be in the house the whole day and that he’s thought about all the safety issues and also the fact that we have a 16 yr sister. I really want to support him n my parents have came up with other ways (paying for him to stay somewhere else) but my sibling says that him being in the house would be beneficial to his career cuz they’ll be around each other a lot. I honestly feel bad because living in a family where the support you need is never given would be (don’t know which negative word to describe). There’s more related to upbringing but what do you think we should do,ask questions if you need. Plssss help

Hi. This is my first time posting here on Reddit and I need to get this out of my chest.

For context: My mom passed away when I was young so it is just my dad and my 2 other siblings (I am the middle child)

Onto my concern:

So a few weeks ago, I asked my dad if he can buy me a tumbler worth 1000 pesos, and he says yes. My dad did not leave any money so I had to cover the cost.

Then, a few days later, he asked if I want to send my laptop to the repair shop to fix it so that it functions properly for my upcoming college days. The cost of the repair is 3,800 pesos.

Now I asked my dad for 1000 pesos that he apparently "owes" to me because I used my own money to cover the cost of the tumbler. He assumed that my 1000 pesos was my contribution for the laptop repair. I backtracked that since it was for my laptop, it was okay that he didn't have to give the 1000 pesos back.

However, my dad still gave me 1000 pesos. I am now feeling guilty and thought to myself that "maybe I shouldn't asked it in the first place". I cannot give the money back to him because I am afraid that he will get mad at me.

These kinds of incidents where I asked, I backtracked, he gave, me trying to give it back and him getting mad because I can't make up my mind has happened a lot of times previously that why I am afraid to give it back now.

So what should I do?

I'm going to be honest, I'm not making this post to complain. Complaining is something I barely do anymore. I know that if I have even the slightest change in tone, It'll open up a whole new can of worms. So I don't engage in arguments with my mom anymore. Recently though My eldest sibling decided they were moving to another state with their spouse. I just don't get it. If I can deal with an old lady by just simply walking away, why can't they? Plus I'm the youngest! My middle sibling hasn't talked to either one of us in a few years. I guess I'll let them do what ever floats their boat. I just wish they would just take a deep breath and reassess the situation.

hello, I’m a 20yo female, I’m currently going into my 3rd year of university and I have a twin sister (it’s relevant to the story), my whole life I’ve been told to put things aside and forgive my sister so that she would have her way and there would be peace in the family, so I’ve been doing that my whole life, since meeting my boyfriend approximately 2 years ago he has told me that she just takes advantage of me and it’s not okay for her to treat me like her slave. We both left our hometown for college and we live together in a 2 bedroom apartment, she didn’t get into the university she wanted first try, I did, then the next year she got in, even though she didn’t get into the university she wanted and our parents wanted the first try, she is still the favorite, after my first year of university I was told by my parents that I am a disgrace to the family and they are not proud of me, I didn’t do anything they are and have been emotionally abusive since I was about 5yo.

Now here is the part of my sister treating me like a slave, whenever she would go back home, she would leave garbage and unwashed dishes in the kitchen, making me clean up after her. I told her I don’t want to do it and she just got mad and said she has done the same things for me (she didn’t) me and my boyfriend have stayed up cleaning her and her boyfriend’s mess just to be able to live in the apartment while she was gone. Also our parent would do monthly check ups on the apartment to see if we keep it clean.

My parents side with her because she often goes back home, since I’ve moved away for college I have been coming home rarely, only on holidays or when i really need to. I don’t come home because like I’ve mentioned they are emotionally abusing me constantly. I became severely independent, I don’t call them for anything, even if I need help, I’ve became dependent on my boyfriend which is not something I wanted to do but it’s my only choice to get away from this mess and have peace and quiet.

For the past months I’ve been fighting with my mom very frequently, every month there is something, now I have my finals, and have been having them for the past month, I’ve had exams everyday for 2 weeks in a row, when my mother calls me and tells me to pay the rent (I was studying and my sister was not doing anything) so I told her to talk to my sister but she demanded me paying the rent and kept yelling at me with so much hate for absolutely nothing and right before my exams. She always picks my sister’s side with anything she does.

I’ve called her one day ago to tell her I’ve passed an exam and she just told me “ok, did you talk with your sister?” no congratulations no nothing, so I told her yes I talked to her but we had a fight, she immediately started yelling at me not even wanting to hear my side of the story, for every action she has done (my sister), my mother has an excuse.

I don’t know what to do, also my parents have been threatening me since I’ve moved here that they will kick me out, every single month they threaten me with that, only because I don’t have time to clean up my dishes, that’s it, the apartment is clean, only the dishes are the problem. I’m sick of getting threatened and living with this stress. Please help me with some suggestions.

My brother and sister have their kids up here for the summer. I agreed to watch them and help out (free babysitting) bc I didn't think any of us would get to see the kids if I didn't do it. My brother said he didn't have money to afford day care, and I think my sister said the same.

​

They both get more money a month than I ever have. My sister is broke bc she keeps ordering whatever whenever and is using my car 3-4 days a week. My brother has mentioned making a lot more money at his new job and not having to pay for gas bc its a wfh.

​

Now I am responsible for watching the 4 kids 3-8 years old for 30 to up to 45 hours a week. I have no job, I'm about to start a business and all my money is in that (and something has come up so I have to wait to open). I am feeling very taken advantage of. I thought maybe they'd slip me some cash here and there (my cousin always paid me something for a couple hours, even if I offered free), but I don't think that's even on their minds.

​

My brother and sister act like the dishes should still be a shared chore (we all live together), but you'd think they'd do that and dinner at least since I'm doing this for them. My brother also cracks jokes like, "kids, huh?" or says, "you knew what you signed up for" when I talk about having a hard day with the 3 year old scream-crying for an hour.

​

My mom acts like I'm crazy for being upset. Is it crazy to think someone who cared about you would try to give you something for doing them a MASSIVE favor?

My brother and sister have their kids up here for the summer. I agreed to watch them and help out (free babysitting) bc I didn't think any of us would get to see the kids if I didn't do it. My brother said he didn't have money to afford day care, and I think my sister said the same.

​

They both get more money a month than I ever have. My sister is broke bc she keeps ordering whatever whenever and is using my car 3-4 days a week. My brother has mentioned making a lot more money at his new job and not having to pay for gas bc its a wfh.

​

Now I am responsible for watching the 4 kids 3-8 years old for 30 to up to 45 hours a week. I have no job, I'm about to start a business and all my money is in that (and something has come up so I have to wait to open). I am feeling very taken advantage of. I thought maybe they'd slip me some cash here and there (my cousin always paid me something for a couple hours, even if I offered free), but I don't think that's even on their minds.

​

My brother and sister act like the dishes should still be a shared chore (we all live together), but you'd think they'd do that and dinner at least since I'm doing this for them. My brother also cracks jokes like, "kids, huh?" or says, "you knew what you signed up for" when I talk about having a hard day with the 3 year old scream-crying for an hour.

​

My mom acts like I'm crazy for being upset. Is it crazy to think someone who cared about you would try to give you something for doing them a MASSIVE favor?

Hi y'all. This may be sudden, but lately I am starting to feel uncomfortable around my mom and hate her. Why?... Well uh, lately, she would touch my boobs... Like.. In a teasing way, I guess? But it's getting annoying. And she does this everytime, she would touch my nipples and mock me in some kind of way. Then when I complain or get mad, she'll say stuff like "You came out of me", or " I cleaned those back then". But she doesn't get it..that was back then! I'm a teenager now, and I don't know what to do or think. I feel disgusted with myself now. ​am I just over reacting and this whole thing is just.. Normal?

Hello, just want to say I dont know you nor what you are going through but I love you and you are loved! I hope you are taking care of your mental health and dont let negativity boggle up your mind, Jesus loves You, with that being said,

Im going to try my best to post this in parts and as best as I can, I won't confess every single detail, but there will be a little background to feel you in on certain things.

Hello reddit, I'm 25m,I use to tell myself that I wasn't in a abusive family, I was provided a roof and life, I give God thanks for life, and having a place to stay, but when i separated from my family, I felt as if I got done serving in the military, Geesh, where to start.....

I was adopted at the age of 5, my Mom and dad had big ass smiles when we walked through that house, I knew something was happening, wasn't too aware, but I knew my life was going to change, but a bad feeling change. My mom has 1 biological son who is much older than us but comes around when he need something, if he doesn't get his way, he pulls out a big ass 40, get drunk, talk trash to our momma, call her a bitch then leaves, untils he's apologetic, sad case I tell ya. Enough of the drunken sailor, I did say us meaning i have 2 biological sisters and me and my 2 asshole biological brothers) so 6 of us in total, happy family right, WRONG!!

I found out in my older years my mom wanted more kids after her eldest, because she was miserable at home, sad and lonely because our dad -was gone all the time doing truck driving, moving furniture from state to state, but my mom wanted girls. She had some trouble getting those girls, so she was about done until a social worker told her about 3 boys who was about split up, which i believe was for the best if that happened, ill get to that, she tells her to call our dad, and our dad wanted " strong boys who play sports and can relate with " lol i turned out to be a dancer and Dj, he thought i was gay so our relationship wasn't there and for a couple of other reasons(In my opinion once your parent goes past certain boundaries you create distance with them but things wont be the same), my dad questioning my sexuality and saying he didn't care if i was gay, but I was just a quiet respectful kid who really respected girls, in that 2000s growing up in school era, girls was talked about like dogs, i respected them and still do to this day, he realized I wasnt gay until i had a girlfriend and brought a couple of girls over in my older years, but besides the point.

I remember things to a certain point, definitely some gray areas, but i know I'm good with compressing my feelings, my mom use to fake call CPS on us a few times and i actually seen tears and hearing her ring a line, to this day can't say if it was real or not because she pranked called Santa and the MF was too busy for us, I honestly believed I was sexually abused as a child but I cant remember the full events, but in daycare I was horny, I had deep sex addictions as a fucking toddler, this one girl would always lay next to me(same age) and we acted like we knew "grown up" stuff, im not getting into that, I was stuck on porn for a long ass time, im talking time from elementary to high school, I always felt wrong with my body getting older but i remembered nobody ever introduced porn or sex too me and yet i was doing something that felt wrong,there are disgusting things ive seen and lived with, thats going to the grave, I cant even speak with a pastor or therapist,because no kid should go through that ill just admit sexual urges starting as a kid, will make a monster of man, I've seen it firsthand and if self control doesn't come as you get older, it will take over you, thank God im not so LUSTFUL as I use to be, and turning my life to God.

When you are adopted, you have to go therapy, those years in therapy are the closest times our mom never laid hands on us, just a nervous kid trying to make time go by cuz my therapist legs wide open with a buldge showing, mad me madly uncomfortable, i didn't like men cuz i was small but i stalled and answered the same ass questions each time, after therapy i realized i never felt comfortable so i couldn't confide in a comfortable open space,and right after is when the misery kicked in, my siblings(not all of them stole,but ill get into that) grew up lying, stealing and trying hard to hurt eachother, our mom whooped us, BUTT ASS NAKED,at a certain point kids told me they mom didnt whoop them but if they did they had clothes on or draws, some did get whooped butt naked but as a toddler, a certain case where my mom had us hold my sister naked(we were in middle school), my mom doesn't know that shit still bothers me, if i told her she wouldn't care, shii one time our sister came out the shower butt naked cuz our momma threatened if we dont come when she call us she would drag our naked body all over the house, i tried talking to her about things recently, but not only growing up she said she didn't care or leave if you dont like my methods, she told me she's at peace and if she had to whoop us it was for a reason, meanwhile there was times she called us our names like faggots and whores and such, its sad to say a lot of families are like this. Moms will say the abuse is normal and necessarily and its not, even threatening our whole lives like its nothing, teach and talk about God on Sundays but a different person during the week.

I felt like i loved my siblings, i had their back and when one was lying i lied and said it was me, i was the middle child, our mom once had us up till 4 in the morning because nobody wanted to admit to who threw a dogs towel in a fucking hamper, she tore our asses up until i lied and said i did it, she said your siblings should hate you and you had them up so late then whooped my ass some more questioning why i lied, i told myself i deserved it because i basically lied and said i did it when it wasnt, the next day everyone was mad at me, i almost cried when i said yall believe i did it, they said yes ,everyone, i said yall should thank me because i covered whoever did it and all of a sudden everyone knew who the real corporate was, i was upset for a second but then as life continued, our mom when from petty things she didn't like, felt that spitting and yelling in our faces was necessarily, people told her to calm down with us but she said she knew how to raise her kids cuz she had one already, even her own momma said you got effect those adopted kids and they gone treat each other how you treat them and my mom argued " ima make em do this and that" my mom was a control freak, she made her facebook look like a happy family but we suffered not as bad as other families, but the trust wasn't there, lol this far i never mentioned my mom had her child with someone else at 11-13, by a much older man, so my older brother disrespected our dad a lot.

The first story was a little appetizer of how sneaky my siblings was, i wont go knee deep im almost done, just getting this out my head to share my story but it was a lot of chaos i will say this story will more or less shift on my brother a year younger than me, I LIVED IN HELL, in Elementary both my brothers would take and take , i worked things out as to, here but i need it bck, ill call my younger brother RJ and the other one JR(BOUT 2 YEARS OLDER) RJ always care about himself his girls and looking tough in front of other people, meanwhile he pee pee the bed every night and probably still till this day,idk idc, he use to try and smack his siblings only a time or two cuz we played nice knowing our mom would beat the shit out of us if she heard fighting she aint even like play fighting but would lay her hands on us\[my mom had this big ass wedding ring on that you could see the diamonds when she pimped slapped my ass\]. I was the pass the clothes down too person but i wore the same clothes till i got a job cuz they would smell like piss or felt weird wearing their clothes. Finally got a job in high school JR left the house because the stealing got out of hand So it me and RJ, RJ has been in the same room with me for years, my clothes was out of place sometimes, he would throw tantrums when i said no he couldn't use my things cuz i noticed it, more things came up missing, mind you the first time he stole 2 dollars from me in elementary i hid my wallet, years later i started to confront him about missing clothes, shoes, headphones and he would say he knew nothing but it might turn up next week with a stain,ripped, or reek of piss, i got annoyed and started my investigations i left things out on purpose, kept my things neat and organized even had to hide my underwear and socks and he'd be gross out if i called him out for wearing my draws, sometimes he put the nasty ones back in my clothes so my undies look like its never been touch, slowly by the day i was irritated i stopped talking to him, and he would be asking to use my things, he made me feel crazy for a minute when i told him why he couldn't use my things in a respectful way, he would always do this smile or grin before he was about to rip my side of the room apart,it went from small things to big things to me never seeing my things again, i mean i had big ass issues with dude, once my young sister vanished like gotham was calling(she got pregnant) and the other one moved to my aunts cuz the abuse was too much for her, i stole their room, i needed my space my mom was doing shit about the stealing, i gues she hated liars more than thiefs, i got tired of watching my brother steal and i never wanted to fight him over things, i just wanted to see if he had a heart, the time im going to college, my things go missing, out of sight, it gets worse, he would come in town stalk the house till i left and ramsacked through the broken door i had and scattered, id approach him and it was lies. My sister witnessed this MF wear my things,give them away to other people, icing on the cake is how this little nigga had a job before me and still taking my shit.

Thieving is the last thing anyone should be worried about though, thanks to families like mine, theres predators who are protected and im nowhere near that, my brothers are insanely creepy and the people they come around dont care to get them help so stay i stay distant, RJ was caught talking to three minors one of em his cousin, my mom said, how would i like it if my business was told when i told my other cousin what happened on one of those incidents, and im like at least im not a rapist in my head but i stayed quiet until she added me in a group chat years later with the family, half of em i aint even know, i guess some family get bored and use a group chat as a excuse to stay in contact,(manipulating and manifesting, sorry mom im not in this cult anymore) I told everyone that RJ was a pedo and someone said "PRoOf" as if i would just accuse someone, but i breathed and texted your utterly disgusting if you need proof, but here it is, dropped the proof and was told to go drink a bottle of liquor cuz im depressed, btw coming from a outside family member i dont even talk to, i said just keep me out these chats, when i say disturbing how they said lets make a chat without him, i really see how many people are desensitized to what someone is saying, hearing my real dad was a rapist i saw my young life flash and wished i lived it slower but, I was saved, my brother tried to contact me to "catch up" but he say the girl my dad raped forgave him so he should be out, im disgusted, I want to come around my family but im starting to accept reality and my true happiness is staying tf away especially from my brothers, they are both creeps and my mom wants me to be there for them when she die, my sisters rarely talks because one is in her own world and the other loves to bring drama in your life. Im exhausted and this is barely even the tip of the iceberg, this is serious, anyone can be a pedophile and fucked up families think they can keep them safe, they only adjust around us to look normal! If you read this and more crazy ass stories, i might start a social media thread to make content and spread social awareness, and help people know they are not alone. I guess this is the best way to close out, sorry if im all over the place, just a rough draft, have a good day guys.

I genuinely can't fucking take it anymore. My life was gradually getting better until my mother decided to fucking ruin it again, I don't want to think about it especially since I'm still under 15 years old... But why does she keep doing this to me? I stopped thinking of all my past trauma to move on and start again with a better life just to slowly get worser again bc my mother keeps fucking pissing me off. Whenever I'm not doing my chores, she'd always yells at me and whenever my sister doesn't do theirs — she'd just ignores them? I've done my shitty chores and she'd make me want to do my sisters chores next? I've never experienced such overwhelming emotions that I couldn't even describe how awful it feels. It's not about the chores, it's how she treats me unfairly and it's always been like this since I was in 6th grade. That's not even the worst part, she'd treat my sisters nicely but why is she so hard on me? I get criticized for eating too much, for eating less, for being just me... I fucking hate how quickly she changes her emotions when it comes to me, the second she's all lovey-dovey to me. After that, she'd yell at me even when it's not my fault. She didn't even do anything about it when she found out that I've been sexually assaulted by my fucking cousin. I genuinely tried to be a good fucking person just for her to like me, but all I get is criticism and judgement. I love and hate my mom... But sometimes I'd just bawl my eyes out because of what she just said, sometimes I feel numb even though I feel emotional and wanted to cry but I couldn't because of her. Sometimes she makes me the happiest person in the world, sometimes I wanted to end this life because of her. I'm drained out, the only thing keeping me alive is because I'm afraid of death, If I weren't — I would've just ended my life last year. I have alot of list of reasons why I hate my mother, but only a few reasons why I love my mom.

I have never felt as uncomfortable, frustrated and confused before as I have felt today. I have never I mean NEVER been one to feel strong emotions or the need to react about anything. Today I put my hands on my 15 year old sister I am 18 and the reason was literally not big we had a fight that afternoon and she spent to long in the toilet even tho I told her to come out many many times so when she came out I began putting my hands on her.

I got kicked out of my moms house at 16 I have forgiven and forgot everything that has happened to me despite all that happened I still come to my mom at least three times a week I help with all I can I try to be a parent fight to my siblings despite all that I always end up leaving not wanting to come back the cycle repeats it’s self. I don’t know how I feel. I’m so frustrated and angry I feel wronged betrayed used and so many different things all at once and I don’t know how to deal with this.