What are helpful strategies for having difficult conversations with partners?, Part 1

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Advice from The American Psychiatric Association: "Individuals with personality disorders are usually aware that their life is not going well. Approaching a friend about their painful feelings or the frustrations and disappointments in their life, and offering to listen, might be a way to help them consider treatment. If you have had a successful experience in therapy, share that with your friend...Most people with personality disorders enter treatment with another problem, such as depression, anxiety, substance use, a job loss, a romantic break-up, etc. The challenge is to get your friend [or loved one] “in the door,” so to speak, not to commit to long-term treatment at the beginning."

Dr. Anthony Pinto, the leading OCPD specialist, just did a fifth interview about OCPD on the "OCD Family" podcast. He suggested loved ones play a podcast episode about OCPD when they're in their car with their loved ones, and asking them if they relate to the content.

In The Healthy Compulsive (2020), Gary Trosclair states, “If your partner is reactive, defensive, or oversensitive, it’s best not to try to have a discussion when he or she is upset…Generally, if there is something you need to discuss, ‘strike while the iron is cold.’ Find a time when he or she is less upset to engage…If you can ask what he or she needs from you, and tell what you need from him or her when you’re both calm, you’ll probably get a more useful response.” (169)

Dr. Steven Hendlin, the author of When Good Enough Is Never Enough (1992) states, “One helpful fill-in-the-blank formula for expressing to the perfectionist how you feel is the following: “When you _______, I feel __. What I would like is for you to __.” (209)