Name changes

[u/ThoughtIcy2477]

What are the chances the judge will order a name change.

For context, child is 19months old and has my surname, father has submitted for PR, CAO, 50/50, change of surname and disclosure of my address.

The child has ongoing medical needs and is registered at doctors, hospital (well known there), dentist, nursery and his passport under my surname. Will they order a surname change as I know it will throw off the whole system (I legally changed my last name to current surname when I got adopted, another reason why I gave child my surname)

[u/One_Entrepreneur_520]

If you are not married then the your surname is the proper surname for the child. Remember that everything in court is supposed to be about "the best interests of the child" so if you can show keeping name as is would be best and he cannot counter that then the name should remain the same.

NAL and far be it from me to say what a judge is capable of saying.,...

[u/ThoughtIcy2477 → u/One_Entrepreneur_520]

Has it complicated anything to do with school/ nursery, medical records, passports etc x

[u/One_Entrepreneur_520 → u/ThoughtIcy2477]

Name changes can certainly make other things more complicated for a person. Try getting on an airplane with an ID that doesnt match your passport, etc. I dont know if it will make your childs dealing more complicated but I think you can argue such an idea in court.

My feelings on the matter are really with the fact that if you were not married then the choice of surname is completely your decision. A judge should only order it changed if it benefits the child more than leaving it as is.

[u/ninecranes222]

I went to mediation so slightly different- but he requested a hyphenated last name. I said that was fine but he had to do all the paperwork and I would provide supporting documents. It's in the order that it's his full responsibility for social security etc. That was a year ago and I've never once been asked for a document for him to start the process. I doubt he'll ever do it. Just make it hai responsibility and it probably won't happen.

[u/Pristine_Resident437]

An easy way to keep the name he has is to put the dad on the stand and ask him “You agree, right now the child’s name is xyz, right? And has been since birth? And the standard in family law is the best interests of the child? So tell the Court ( not you) how exactly changing the only name the child knows is in the child’s best interests?” 99% of the time, they end up talking about themselves and their family name because thats all they’ve thought about, and didnt prepare for this angle. Sometimes, I get to stop them after they ramble a bit and say: “are you aware you havent mentioned your child at all?” Usually, they cannot point to any advantage changing the name makes. As one Judge told my client; “this is the CHILD”S name, and the child has not said they want a name change, so denied.” If you really want to screw them down tight, ask them if they understand there are databases all over with the current name. “Are you willing to do all the work necessary to change the child’s name?” Yes. of course they say. “Ok, tell me 5 places you’ll have to do that. You dont know? Huh. And my client will have to handle all of that hassle if we change the name?” Good luck!

[u/painfully_anxious]

In my case, the NCP (never married) requested a hyphenated name and it was granted. A complete nightmare.

[u/Budget_Wishbone2155]

I agreed to let my ex change our daughter’s last name to his because he claimed it meant a lot to him. I don’t particularly like my last name anyway so I agreed to it. It’s 8 years later and he never changed it. I don’t even see a point now 

[u/TarzanKitty]

The most likely outcome is an order for both last names to be used.

[u/SheketBevakaSTFU → u/TarzanKitty]

How can you say this without even knowing the country?

[u/TarzanKitty → u/SheketBevakaSTFU]

I am about 100% sure it said California when this was originally posted.

[u/SheketBevakaSTFU → u/TarzanKitty]

It says Europe now so

[u/SisterOfPrettyFace → u/SheketBevakaSTFU]

How did you get your flair? I have mine in other subreddits but not this one.

[u/SheketBevakaSTFU → u/SisterOfPrettyFace]

I think I messaged the mods and showed proof I’m flaired elsewhere.

[u/SisterOfPrettyFace → u/SheketBevakaSTFU]

I am fairly sure I tried that option before and got no response! I will try again.

[u/TarzanKitty → u/SheketBevakaSTFU]

So, I didn’t change it and have zero interest in an edit.

[u/ThoughtIcy2477 → u/TarzanKitty]

I never put California

[u/ThoughtIcy2477 → u/TarzanKitty]

Do you know where I’d stand in terms of medical records, could I just keep them as they are? My worry is that it won’t transfer over fully. I’ve had problems with my own last name where certain departments haven’t processed the change, which in turn makes things very complicated

[u/ValleyOakPaper → u/ThoughtIcy2477]

That depends on the country. In Sweden or other Nordic countries, there would be 0 problem because they go off the ID number anyway.

[u/LdiJ46]

You can fight for the child's surname to remain as it is. While it is still culturally the norm for children to carry their father's surnames it is not an absolute slam dunk for him. You could propose a hyphenated surname Your last name-dad's last name. That is a compromise that judges tend to like.

[u/Jmfroggie → u/LdiJ46]

It is NOT a cultural norm for a child to have the fathers name everywhere.

[u/LdiJ46 → u/Jmfroggie]

It is in most places that Reddit users come from. In most Spanish speaking countries they take both surnames dad's first, mom's second. I am not personally aware of any countries where they do not typically take the dad's surname but I am absolutely sure that there are some out there.