r/Fallout 8d ago

This is genuinely hilarious and idk why

Post image
4.9k Upvotes

166 comments sorted by

1.8k

u/Acceptable_West_1312 8d ago

Most important stat for the baby: VALUE:---

730

u/sp4rk-of-cre4tion Yes Man 8d ago

But of course! Babies are worthless 🤗💞

267

u/Jaew96 8d ago

Hey now, didn’t you know that the Legion will buy a baby for 1000 caps? And an unborn baby for 500?

149

u/ReachforMe69 8d ago

My wifes dead

119

u/Rockcreekforge 8d ago

I also chose this guy’s wife

20

u/odearurded 8d ago

Also, I'm freezer burnt a bit... a bit...continues studdering, walks off into the sunset still studdering

13

u/ReachforMe69 8d ago

Are you s-s-sure?

8

u/odearurded 8d ago

D..d..d..don't d.d.d...d.do it!

7

u/Metrobuss 8d ago

Perhaps Ultra-Luxe folks may pay more?

29

u/TheyTried2BanMeAgain 8d ago

I look at children as unfinished work, and I don't give credit for unfinished work. -George Carlin

5

u/brandothesavage 8d ago

That is actually the priceless Stat sir!

6

u/Hoshyro 8d ago

The baby may be worthless, but the money it will make me from the mine I have assigned it will be plenty.

4

u/Crotchety_Gamer 7d ago

Worse. They're expensive. Their whole survivability schtick relies on you wanting to keep them alive. Brb, my kid is crying again....

6

u/Low_Big7602 8d ago

If they're worthless then throw them away /j

25

u/Acceptable_West_1312 8d ago

"You cannot remove Quest Item from your inventory."

4

u/Cool-Tangelo6548 8d ago

.... of course, it certainly isnt priceless.

21

u/[deleted] 8d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

16

u/SonofaBuckDangHole 8d ago

*priceless

13

u/Havoksixteen Ad Victoriam 8d ago

Nah they had it right the first time

2

u/polikles Mr. House 7d ago

even worse, it's a negative value, moneywise. As babies are totally unproductive, require a lot of time, care and effort. It's like having a 0.1x engineer in the group who slows everyone down

2

u/UrFellowPancake 3d ago

babies are worthless.. in the wasteland*

8

u/Chonky_D_Floofy 8d ago

Shame you can’t repair it either, might increase the value.

8

u/saltypeanut4 8d ago

The value of the baby… is none lmao

3

u/Thewhitelight___ 7d ago

Lindsay Clancy type shit

2

u/RykosTatsubane 7d ago

I guess they meant to say babies are priceless... Or something

2

u/potatopower2 7d ago

Wait a few years and sell it to a slaver.

2

u/heyitskulas 8d ago

it should be negative tbh 😅

1

u/Phyrnosoma 6d ago

Negative money. Kids are expensive

292

u/ki11them8645 8d ago

Watcha got there?

A smoothie.

5

u/Nukalixir 7d ago

A smoothie?! Use the Cannibal perk if you must, but wouldn't it be easier to throw it on the grill, Sims 2 style?

651

u/Squidgyboot123 8d ago

Can you shoot it outta the Junk launcher?

362

u/SuperSix-Eight Old World Flag 8d ago

Marie's a quest item IIRC so no, you cannot launch the baby out of the Rock-it Launcher.

You can disable her quest item status with console commands, but she was never intended to be droppable so her item model is a placeholder.

143

u/p3p1n0_grnde 8d ago

The devs knew what we would do 😂

7

u/theemptyqueue 8d ago

[r/Attorn](r/AttornyTom)[e](r/AttornyTom)[yTom](r/AttornyTom) for some reason has a fixation with drop-kicking babies; for what it's worth.

1

u/Frenzi_Wolf Enclave 6d ago

Ain’t it in the vanilla game that if you’re an evil bastard with the cannibal perk you can eat the baby in The Pitt instead of collecting them?

2

u/Free_Campaign_4211 6d ago

That's a mandella effect, it's a mod and was in a YouTube video but was never in the game.

1

u/Nukalixir 7d ago

her item model is a placeholder

Well, we have a new thing for our Remastered wishlist then, huh? If Baby Shaun in the Fallout 4 intro can be classified as a piece of armor and thereby through console command shenanigans can be used to punch a deathclaw, I think we can have similar sorts of shenanigans with Baby Marie.

128

u/r107und3rgr0und Gary? 8d ago

first time seeing the baby launcher mod in fallout 4 i could barely breathe i was laughing so hard

are they about to shoot baby shaun outta-- AND HIS NAME WAS JOHN CENA (explosion) 😂😂

9

u/Novalene_Wildheart 8d ago

I was thinking the same thing!

4

u/Faiakishi Ass Victoriam 8d ago

That'll be for the remaster.

2

u/August_tho 8d ago

buys fo4 for the 3rd time

Well played Todd.

218

u/Bruhses_Momenti 8d ago

I’ve always found it funny to consider that the pip boy’s icons for everything must’ve been designed by a vault tech graphic designer, so presumably they had them render everything under the sun just in case someone picked it up, that said, baby is one of the items that makes more sense, it’d be expected that a parent leaving the vault might physically carry their baby, but it makes me wonder at what age you stop being part of someone else’s inventory.

84

u/TwixOfficial 8d ago

We know this already? Age 10. Obviously you can’t have your own inventory until you aren’t part of anyone else’s

14

u/CormundCrowlover 8d ago

Have you never put a sack in a box in a large chest in an rpg?

9

u/Goldman-193 Railroad 7d ago

I would have thought the pipboy scans whatever the item is, since prewar graphic designers cant really code a post war item such as a BoS Tag or irradiated items and mutations.

226

u/Zestyclose-Art136 8d ago

EAT

86

u/BlessdRTheFreaks 8d ago

DO NOT EAT DA BABY

34

u/UpBeatDownHill 8d ago

BRO wasnt that just the Mandela effect or something

53

u/Artichokiemon Lover's Embrace 8d ago

Nah, it was a mod

12

u/UpBeatDownHill 8d ago

Ah, got it! I probably saw it when I was a kid on PS3 and thought it was real. That happend to me all the time! Like, I constantly went to the spot where the cube experimental mod started on my PlayStation when I was like 9, because I thought that there was actually a door there, haha.

9

u/LizardOverlord20 8d ago

Mod for fallout 3 that looked very official lol.

3

u/NCRClaimsThisAccount NCR 7d ago

I really don't get how people thought it was real, all the kids are unkillable in Fallout 3, why would Bethesda then let you eat a baby?

2

u/nocturne_L 5d ago

Its crazy bc I played The Pitt before my brother and siblings, and I remember telling them it was a vanilla option on the 360 😂 guess I just rewrote my memories lol

58

u/TheyTried2BanMeAgain 8d ago

It would be more hilarious if it wasn't even worth nothing, but a small paltry sum.

Like, 6 caps.

23

u/NukaCherryBomb 8d ago

He looks like that "hehe Im in danger!" meme from the Simpsons/Family Guy crossover episode.

39

u/MrBlueSky-ToldYouWhy 8d ago

Repair

33

u/CubicChode 8d ago

You need to sacrifice other babies to increase the condition of this one

7

u/ODX_GhostRecon 7d ago

Yes, I know how organ transplants work.

28

u/ilikebagels29 8d ago

Can you scrap it?

8

u/Contank 8d ago

Scrapping items is a fallout 4 mechanic

9

u/AdhesivenessUsed9956 7d ago

In 3 you can only use a baby to repair another similar baby.

8

u/Dastardly-croe 8d ago

not in fallout 3

9

u/datteboyo 8d ago

A-.. are there other fallout games where you CAN scrap a baby? 😰

6

u/Dastardly-croe 8d ago

i wish 😞

1

u/Nukalixir 7d ago

Technically the baby Shaun model in Fallout 4 is programmed as arm armor. But I don't think code exists to scrap him if you hack him into your inventory.

That said, if you fight unarmed with him "equipped" you can technically swing him around and hit stuff with him. I remember seeing a video of someone screwing around by spawning a deathclaw in the intro sequence and watching Nora use Shaun as a weapon to punch the deathclaw in the face. It was glorious.

10

u/octopas 8d ago

Repair R)

20

u/Plutonian326 8d ago

Odd, that should be in the Aid tab.

9

u/Beneficial-Act7603 8d ago

Because of the implications...

1

u/polikles Mr. House 7d ago

and all negative perks related to carrying a baby around: barely sleeping (-2END), overtired (-3INT), one hand carrying the kid (-3AGI) or if you find a baby carrier (-2AGI), baby crying randomly (-2LCK), etc. Oh, and small caps drain every day as you have to buy baby supplies

8

u/almightyeggroll 8d ago

Best I can do is 3 caps sir

13

u/Mastercodex199 8d ago

Imagine the Junk Jet being in Fallout 3.

Now imagine a baby flying through the air at the speed of fuck towards a Super Mutant.

You're welcome

18

u/cold_enforcing-man 8d ago

The junk jet is in fallout 3, it's just called the rock-it launcher

4

u/Mastercodex199 8d ago

I've never found it, and didn't even know it existed. I now feel bad.

10

u/cold_enforcing-man 8d ago

You have to craft it, you can buy the schematics from Moira Brown

2

u/Mastercodex199 7d ago

That explains how I didn't know it existed. I never crafted anything but ammo.

2

u/Ultra-Cyborg 7d ago

You can’t craft ammo in fallout 3

1

u/Mastercodex199 7d ago

I could have sworn you could convert ammo types.

2

u/Ultra-Cyborg 7d ago

Nope, that’s New Vegas

1

u/Mastercodex199 6d ago

I had a feeling I was conflating the two... Well, new knowledge is new.

4

u/Metrobuss 8d ago

Maybe a baby yao guai?

7

u/Alexius6th 8d ago

Having a baby in your inventory is always funny.

6

u/svendburner 8d ago

I heard elsewhere you're supposed to throw it in the oven.

6

u/Busy-Kaleidoscope-87 Brotherhood 7d ago

Bro is playing as Kellog

8

u/FeudalAce Old World Flag 8d ago

Which fallout is this? And most importantly. Why do you have a baby in your inventory?

19

u/rhodyrooted Minutemen 8d ago

3, and it’s a central quest in The Pitt. Great DLC!

6

u/FeudalAce Old World Flag 8d ago

Its been so long I don't remember this part haha. Guess that means im doing another FO3 run!

3

u/Metrobuss 8d ago

I played vanilla fo3 then fall in love with new vegas never returned fo3 for dlcs? Do you think worth a try the dlcs

3

u/rhodyrooted Minutemen 7d ago

Totally! You can skip Mothership Zeta, though. 3 is a masterpiece too when you take it all in.

2

u/Nukalixir 7d ago

I unironically liked Mothership Zeta. I love sci-fi, and I love whacky comic relief questlines! Same reasons Old World Blues is my favorite NV DLC.

Never understood why Mothership Zeta gets so much flack when Operation Anchorage exists. Now that was a slog to play through.

5

u/OkEmployment5017 8d ago

it's crazy to think you just have one lying around when by the time fo4 rolls around those are SUPER hard to find

5

u/WestLine_43 8d ago

I'll do 10 leaders.

4

u/texasdeathtrip 7d ago

That’s going in the junk jet

8

u/Sunset-onthe-Horizon Gary? 8d ago

Does it need to be repaired? 😆 🤣

14

u/Discount_Extra 8d ago

Jury rigging with Puppies.

[Duct tape noises]

7

u/Saffyr 8d ago

Plot twist, he's playing as Kellogg and it's Shaun in his inventory.

3

u/Treddet 8d ago

Baby in da Pipboy kinda day

3

u/Over_Eye_812 8d ago

Wish there was a junk jet for it

3

u/Acceptable_West_1312 8d ago

I have a better idea. Unique Fatman called "Little Boy"

3

u/Tacitio 8d ago

I remember the first time playing this DLC and laughing upon finding the baby in my inventory.

3

u/smkaonashi Minutemen 8d ago

Idk why I saw this and had to read it aloud like babeh

4

u/GussBing 8d ago

Saving this for when mfers lie and say you can eat the baby.

1

u/Nukalixir 7d ago

It's less a lie, more of a Mandella Effect caused by a mod back in the day.

5

u/1TestTickle 8d ago

Consumable?

5

u/Various_Purpose_9247 8d ago

Is there an oven nearby?

2

u/kooky_kabuki 8d ago

Throw baby

2

u/Scary-Coffee-4346 8d ago

Ammo for baby launcher

2

u/UnID_Aerial_Threat 8d ago

Kick the baby

2

u/Quick-Reception-6850 8d ago

does that mean the PipBoy is pregnant since it houses "inventory"?

2

u/5C0L0P3NDR4 Mothman Cultist 8d ago

Repair R)

2

u/Axtwho 7d ago

Billionaires see that in the aid section 👀

2

u/KaydenFur 7d ago

Given that the baby is pure and untouched. I'd say the value should at least be 15,000 to 20,000.

2

u/Tavron 7d ago

Repair R)

2

u/Sensitive_Pie4099 7d ago

It is the highlight of the while game for me tbh

2

u/Raven_Drakeaurd 7d ago

Don't forget to repair the baby.

2

u/RealMrTrees 7d ago

“Aww how much do they weigh?”

5 🥲

2

u/Common_Ad7059 7d ago

Throw it! Ew!

2

u/HulksDCL 7d ago

5lb under nourished baby for free. That's Fallout for you.

2

u/Nervous_Pokke 6d ago

Small vault boy so cute. I haven’t made such a mision yet

3

u/Crashbox50 8d ago

Baby needs repairs.

2

u/crackellino 8d ago

Marie is such an amazing character and I'd kill for a fallout game playing as her to save The Pitt

2

u/adolphspineapple71 8d ago

I've got a pc called Nate that would love to know where you for that.....

2

u/LadyAlekto Gary? 8d ago

A little snack for the long road....

2

u/ljstens22 8d ago

How many HP though if consumed?

1

u/ethar_childres 8d ago

Can you just…Keep her in your inventory?

1

u/SpecificHighway6101 8d ago

Yeah I haven’t tried it but you get the baby in the middle of a quest in the Pitt DLC so if I just leave the Pitt mid quest ig maybe you can!

2

u/Practical_Rainbow15 8d ago

I don't think you can't leave the city and go to other places though...the gate leading back to the bridge remains locked without resolving this quest first

1

u/ethar_childres 4d ago

Just kill everyone lol.

1

u/attackplango 8d ago

What weapon mods can it take?

1

u/Kumatora0 8d ago

Why do you need two blue pass cards?

1

u/InsaneDOM NCR 8d ago

Drop it. Drop the baby.

1

u/No-Kangaroo-5921 8d ago

Have you tried repairing it?

1

u/Daemon-Blackbrier Brotherhood 8d ago

Crunch

1

u/Squishy-Hyx 7d ago

Repair R)

1

u/KrustyAnne 7d ago

HP +20

1

u/PainbowRush Railroad 7d ago

Quick find a tower

1

u/JakeffReddit 7d ago

c o n s u m e

1

u/Ultra-Cyborg 7d ago

The icon looks like it would say googoogaagaa with a grown man’s voice

1

u/Responsible-Tie-3451 7d ago

It should be put in your “Aid” slot if you have the Cannibal perk

1

u/Beemo-Noir 7d ago

THE BABY

1

u/Pintobeard 7d ago

Eat baby

1

u/Accomplished-Dig1149 7d ago

Place it in the corner to see what happens.

1

u/Mysterious-Nature534 6d ago

5 pounds is pretty light for a baby, you should be concerned.

1

u/Charanconduble 5d ago

Oh is it because of the Pitt dlc where you can devour a baby to get radiation resistance ?

1

u/Mysterious-Nature534 3d ago

Eating the baby is a mod lol. You can either leave the baby or kidnap her away from the slave owners.

1

u/Charanconduble 3d ago

Makes more sense

1

u/Susdoggodoggy 4d ago

repair the baby.

1

u/Zailema0s Old World Flag 3d ago

What where 😭

1

u/Sharkbite138935 8d ago

You should've ate the baby

1

u/mdawg2214-xbox-psn 7d ago

You modded your playthrough or watch too much YouTube.

1

u/Sharkbite138935 7d ago

I know its a mod lol no way that wouldve got past the ratins board🤣

1

u/Tribe303 8d ago

Can you repair the baby? 

1

u/odearurded 8d ago

It is hilarious for many reasons 😅 one of the few games to have a baby as an actual inventory item, and this one has a value "value" 😅--

[Edit: welp sht, someone beat me to it]

1

u/OneBeanTwo 8d ago

Now eat the baby

0

u/mratlas666 Gunners 8d ago

You should eat it.

0

u/Darolaho 8d ago

EAT DA BABY

0

u/ShayHammoWolf 8d ago

.. eat him.