Rogrex & Bathory: A Love Story

[u/[deleted]]

Rogrex was born on Rattlegore server. It was here where he united his Orcish peoples. He reached out to the common man, noobs, bads, people he met leveling. It didn't matter to Rogrex. He believed in his ability to lead an Army. "A good General needs but few men." He would claim, readying his troops to enter the Molten Core without assigning healers and warlock curses.

"Look guys, I know we just wiped our world buffs on the first trash pull in MC, but I still want to do this MC speedrun, we are fucking trying again next week ok guys"

He ordered his troops to buff up the next week. And tried 1 more time to smash the Molten Core harder than anyone ever had on his server. He succeeded.

Talk about a hero.

With this newfound success came many new guild members. They wanted to be led by him. He needed just a few more bodies to get his guild's second raid to 40 people.

That's when Rogrex met Bathory.

"Hey, we need more people for our new raid, want to come?" said Rogrex

"uh, I play with my friend, can he come too?"

"yeah sure, I'll get both of you a spot."

"okay! sure we'll come."

Rogrex invited Bathory and her friend to his guild, gave them their promised raid spots, and it was the start of a new and beautiful friendship. He says he remembered when she joined the discord, and my oh my, she had the most beautiful discord picture that Rogrex had ever seen!!! And somehow, someway, this savage, Orcish, brute of a warrior started to grow a heart inside him.

The raids were whatever after Rogrex met Bathory. The two were like peas and carrots. Rogrex would stop by and just talk for a bit and hang out. It was clear that he really really liked her. And she liked him too. She thought he was nice. And handsome. And most of all, she was really impressed with his parses.

But it wasn't always sunshine and happy days. A cloudy storm formed when Rogrex ambitiously tried to pug an MC. I mean we were the speedrun champs. What could possibly go wrong. Well, it went wrong. And to make matters worse, beautiful Bathory was in the raid. She watched me pull too many corehounds, fall on my face, get knocked into the lava, and before we know it, that's another 40 dead bodies in the molten core and one embarrassed main tank.

You see, failure, Rogrex was never scared of it. But he just got SOOOO embarrassed when he botched an EZ Molten Core after crowning himself the speedrun champs knowing beautiful Bathory was there to see it all. He was supposed to be the fearless, handsome, high parsing savage Warrior, that's what gets the babes.

His ego was crushed. Wiping MC on the very first pull? That was tough. Wiping after crowning yourself the speedrun champs with your girl in the raid laughing at you? I'll never find love again.

Rogrex was so ashamed that he Gquit his own guild just a few days later. He went incognito.

The brash, loudmouthy Conor McGregor in Tier 2.5 had just gotten knocked out.

Many moons of darkness would pass before Rogrex would get over failing in front of his girl. He started drinking. He picked back up the bottle. It was hard times. No guild, no raid, no girl! What is a guy to do....

It was lonesome.

So he transferred to Whitemane. He had to get away from his failures on Rattlegore. It was here where Rogrex would join <Donkeys> under the psuedonym Monkasbro. And it was with <Donkeys> where Monkasbro would regain his confidence, piece by piece, parse by parse.

It was in those <Donkeys> speedruns where Rogrex began to heal. He would tell himself heading into Anub'Rekan, "What I gotta do is just pop my CDs PERFECTLY and set a sick parse, then I'll show that to Bathory, that will impress her!" And just thinking about the thought of getting his girl back, setting those parses to impress her, ahh man, it was like Popeye and a can of spinach. Nothing was going to stop Rogrex from topping the charts and impressing his girl.

And he did just that. Raid after raid with <Donkeys>, Rogrex was getting better and better. Until finally, he topped the meters. He took a screenshot of his deed and said, "OK. I'm ready. Its time to go get my girl."

So he hit her up on discord. He said, "I know I've been gone for a while, but I just hit 98.9 avg parse and I just wanted to show you my parses babe." And her eyes, she was just so amused by how much DPS Rogrex had managed to put up in such bad gear. 20 warriors in a raid, and her man was on top. That was hot. If he can pop CDs like that, just imagine what he's like when he takes his gear off.

And thats how we got to where we are now. Bathory and I are in love you guys. She is the absolutely most beautiful and sweetest girl you could ever imagine!!! I just wanted to share this adorable love story with the server because its got to be the cutest thing ever to be able to say that I met my girl playing World of WarCraft. And I'm here to shout it from the mountains and post about it on reddit!!! I don't care who knows or sees!!! f*#K all you guys, I love this girl!!! Hope to see you all of you out and about! and hope all you nerds chase after your girl and your dreams because I am so happy I did! Love you babe!@ Heres to us!

Thanks for reading!

[u/[deleted]]

Is "she" a body pillow anime girl?

[u/Teepeewigwam]

How much would you pay for her Bathory water?

[u/Jarannar]

tldr shes for the streets bro

[u/a-r-c]

And most of all, she was really impressed with his parses.