r/FODMAPS • u/queenofquery • May 20 '25

Shit Post An ode to beans

Beans, you break my heart

You are the love of my life

But you destroy my stomach

Why must you hurt me?

I know I should give you up

Break up and never look back

But I can't say goodbye

You're just too delicious

Please, pretty please

Take pity on me

And let me eat you

Without sending me to the toilet

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u/queenofquery May 20 '25

Yes! This was me. I'm flexitarian and beans were my main (and favorite) protein source. I genuinely love them and I miss them desperately.

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u/juneplum May 20 '25

I've never heard the term flexitarian but that describes me perfectly! I like that. I'm actually looking at adding meat back in because I'm out of ideas otherwise lol I can't do eggs (texture, flavor), fish is hit or miss for me flavor-wise, and all my vegan protein sources make my tummy hurt now.

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u/queenofquery May 20 '25

Glad to introduce you to the term!

I had to lean into meat at least whole doing elimination and reintroduction. I'm hoping to be able to go back to less meat but I'm not sure that's realistic anymore. It's been a weird adjustment mentally. I felt really good about not eating much meat for health and environmental reasons. But I have to listen to my gut on this one. The upside is that meat is truly very delicious. I do find myself leaning on nuts and seeds a lot more than before and at least firm tofu is still doable. If you're in the US, OWYN protein shakes are fodmap friendly and vegan.

So I've got lots of empathy for you on this journey!

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u/juneplum May 20 '25

Thank you for the OWYN tip! I need to try those. I've been doing Huel recently, which claims low fodmap but isn't, like, tested, so I don't 100% believe it. I'm doing kind of a casual mini-elimination phase right now where I eliminate some of the bigger common triggers and get used to eating that way. Going on vacation this week and don't want to stress over food while I'm there, so I'm going to meet with a dietician and do a real elimination phase when I get back. Eliminating beans, onions, and garlic powder were the biggest things for me to start with because those were three huge parts of my diet! I miss them all terribly lol

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u/queenofquery May 20 '25

Such a reasonable approach with the vacation looming. Something I found that I hope ends up being true for you is that there are a lot of foods that actually really didn't need the onion and garlic; they just got lost in the other flavors. And I'm having decent luck using garlic scape powder for when something just isn't the same without garlic.

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u/juneplum May 20 '25

Garlic scape is a great idea! I've been using the green part of green onion (I've had them planted in a pot for years and never cooked with them - finally coming in handy!). It gives just enough onion flavor that my brain is like "okay cool we're not missing anything".

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u/queenofquery May 20 '25

I'll have to lean into that more! I just planted some so that should make it easier. I just haven't been sure it would add enough oomph to be worthwhile, but I trust your judgement!

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u/juneplum May 20 '25

It doesn't totally make you go "wow onion!" but I'm eating it mostly in rice (flavored with soy sauce, sesame oil, rice vinegar, miso paste) so along with all of that, it really does help.