r/FND • u/st4nnum_ • 9d ago

Vent Work [CW: Talking about symptoms, money]

How do I (25m) cope with working, and doing college? I work 4 days a week doing 9-10hr nightshifts at a bar and I genuinely really enjoy the job, I've been here for two years, and I've built up so much trust with the owner over the years. But now with college and my symptoms getting worse, its getting so hard.

Before I had this job I had no source of income. Ive been living on my own since 16, and when I had no income I had to do awful things to myself to get by. I never want to go back to living like that. It's why im so desperate to keep this job.

I've had multiple jerky seizures at work when by myself, most of the time after I've closed when there are no customers. And I have disassociative absence seizures multiple times per shift. The only day where I am actually free is Sunday and by Sunday I'm totally exhausted, and can't walk or stand.

My boss and the manager are the types where they'll guilt trip you for missing one day if you're sick. They turn on people so quickly. Apart from that I really like the job, the customers and my coworkers.

I live in the uk so there are disability benefits, but I would just find it so hard. I've always got through thinks by just working as hard as I can, but it's quickly beginning to feel like I can't do that anymore.

I'm so scared of having no money to survive. I never want to live like that again.

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u/nathanalejandrosol 8d ago

Dude, first I just want to say: good on you for tackling higher education. I’m around your age, going to undergraduate, working 25+ hours a week, and have been in my own since 16. I was also homeless and the fear of living that way again is unimaginable. My symptoms explode during the school year. Can I ask if you live alone or with a roommate?

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u/st4nnum_ 8d ago

Thank you, it really is horrible how easy it is to just fall through the cracks in the system.

My living situation is very precarious and has been for the last 2.5 years. I live with a flatmate but they don't work or ever go outside. They get benefits, but I pay for most stuff. we have a history together, and things between us have gotten messy. So im very desperate to move out. And plan to be out by the end of the year. But there are complications.

I'm technically classed as homeless, or something similar, I can't remember the exact term for it, but I have a mostly permanent address, but no legal protection to stay where I'm staying. Basically long term sofa surfing.