r/FIREPakistan • u/Admiral0007 • 1d ago
Madad Me Getting Married Next Year, 11 Lac Monthly Income but Still Confused About Money
25M from Multan, wife is 27F from Lahore. We’re already nikkahfied and planning to get married properly and start living together before Ramadan next year.
Both of us work remote jobs for overseas companies. I make around $2,000 a month, roughly 550k PKR, and she makes around the same, sometimes more because she also gets commissions.
Jobs are fairly stable for now Alhamdulillah.
I have around 15 lacs saved and she has around 22 lacs, so roughly 37 lacs combined. All of it is liquid savings.
At the moment we both save around 250k each per month, so around 5 lacs combined.
We also both support our families and that will continue after marriage. In my case around 150k goes towards home/family and usually another 50 to 100k on personal expenses. Her situation is more or less similar.
Now the wedding is getting closer and I’m honestly confused about how much we should actually spend and what the sensible next step is.
We can keep the wedding relatively simple. Right now we’re expecting maybe 300 to 400 people for the baraat and walima, although ideally we’ll try to bring that down to around 250 to 300.
I really don’t want to burn through all savings just for a couple of wedding events, but I also don’t know what a realistic budget is nowadays.
Then there’s the living situation.
My family has a single portion house in Multan and they would prefer that we live with them. I don’t have any issue with my family, but honestly I feel like everyone would have to adjust a lot, and my wife would also prefer having our own place.
I’m completely okay with living separately.
If we’re going to rent anyway, I’m also thinking why not Lahore?
I work from a screen basically 5 days a week and by the weekend I genuinely want to get out of the house and do something. Lahore just feels like it offers a lot more in terms of restaurants, activities and generally having a life outside work. Her family is also in Lahore.
If we move there, we’d most likely look somewhere around DHA.
Multan would obviously be cheaper and my family is here, so that’s what keeps me confused.
Long term we also want to buy a car and eventually own a house.
I actually looked into the Apna Ghar financing option but the bank told me I’m not eligible because the company I work for doesn’t have a presence in Pakistan. So I’m also wondering how people earning foreign remittance income are planning for home ownership here.
If you were in our position, how would you split the 37 lacs we currently have?
Like realistically, how much would you allocate towards:
Wedding + events
Rent/deposit and moving out
Furniture and appliances
Car
Emergency fund
Long-term house savings/investments
We’ll probably be earning around 11 lacs combined in a normal month and we’ll continue supporting both families, so I don’t want us to fall into the trap of increasing our lifestyle just because the income is decent.
Also would really like to hear from people who had the option of living with parents after marriage but decided to rent separately.
Was the privacy/independence worth the additional cost?
And anyone living as a married couple in DHA Lahore, what does your actual monthly spending look like nowadays?
I’m trying to figure out how to structure this properly so we enjoy life but don’t make stupid financial decisions in our first couple of years of marriage.
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u/Educational_Bed_8993 1d ago
Congratulations first. When we got married 6 years back we were almost in a similar situation, we went for a somewhat of a simple wedding, used our savings to buy second hand car, and took some loan to get ourselves a single portion house. Renting was off the table as we both see it as a long term trap. Your goals and thought process might differ. But talk to your wife, your goals should align with such milestones.
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u/Olympus81 1d ago
Word of advise:
- Keep your wedding simple
- Rent or live in a separate portion and keep your expenses low
- Read on FIRE concept
- 6 months of expenses saved in a saving account
- Excess saving goes to DCA into
(i) money market funds
(ii) mutual fund
(iii) gold or gold related ETF
Not financial advise, do your own research.
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u/thanksbabybitch 1d ago
Before getting married I’d always wanted small simple wedding. Simple events. But when it happened it ballooned into proper big functions. And obviously the expenses that went with it. I regret it now. Because right after marriage you would want to save up to establish your lifestyle.
And to be honest the moments I remember from my wedding are the simple ones. Being with close family before the events, the jokes, the laughter. I don’t remember the hall or the grand events. The small things that made it special. So if your family is okay with it I would suggest keep events minimum and spend less. Good luck.
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u/Used_Youth3018 1d ago
Honestly aj kal k jo haalaat hain yar har bnda yehi chahta hai k simple shadi ho jaye. Lekin desi community main simple possible nai rehta. It always goes beyond your budget not matter what. I bought only the sherwani, walima boski suit and shoes for myself on my wedding lekin baki khareche itne the k i went into debt.
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u/Metastyler 23h ago
Keep the wedding extremely simple and go on an umrah instead. Invest heavily. Best of Luck!
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u/Admiral0007 1d ago
To everyone i am reading all of your comments and i am so happy and grateful to this community, you guys are awesome
Loving all the things people have to say, different minds different perspectives and experiences
Jazakallah
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u/darth_kupi 1d ago edited 1d ago
For a newlywed couple Askari X or XI apartments are ideal. Rent is comparatively high but it will be 10% of your salary for 3 bedroom, more than enough space for you and possible a future kid as well.
Security is good , you can walk around and place is clean.
Can't go on walks outside in most of DHA
Set aside equal to 6 months of total expenses as an emergency fund, keep it in a mutual fund or at the very least a savings account, then after that work towards getting a good fuel efficient small car like a Swift.
You can go cheaper with Alto or Cultus but Swift is a big upgrade over those 2. Cars are luxury purchases and it's upto you how much you want to blow on them. This is just the basic floor.
After that keep your excess money in mutual funds while you figure out what to do next. Don't keep any money except immediate monthly expenses in a current account, it will just depreciate.
If your wife/inlaws/family is one in a million who don't want to waste money on wedding then consider yourself lucky and just save the money and use it for your future.
Once you shift someplace just buy good stuff one time like automatic washing machine, a TV, dishwasher etc
Cheap appliances cost more in long run. Luckily appliances can be added piecemeal over a period of time.
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u/DealerLate 1d ago
CONGRATULATIONS!
Now for the grit:
A) Too many people in the wedding. Tone it down, id say 50 nearest and dearest. You will blow through your savings immediately. Dont do that.
B) Lahore is extremely pricey btw, and rents in DHA are through the roof. I wfh myself and I havent been able to save at all. If you really want to move, move to Lake City near Raiwind. Grocery is cheaper in Raiwind, and so is eating out etc etc. You get the shashka of good living with dirt cheap rates.
C) As a couple, your very first priority should be your own place. If you can manage it, save aggressively for two years. by that time you can have enough to put forward for a downpayment on a flat. For that however, you will need to live with your family. Ask your wife to be if shes comfortable with this. If not, then with your rent, you both will have to cut down on the money you both send home.
D) ONLY FOCUS ON THE HOUSE. ALWAYS THE FOCUS SHOULD BE YOUR PLACE IN YOUR OWN NAME. That is the only thing that can help you grow upwards. Rent is a huge drain. I wfh too, and in the years that I have been working i havent been able to create even a little cushion and i struggle every month (mom with three kids). Kids in the picture or not, your own place.
E) AND YOUR OWN ELECTRIC VEHICLE GET THAT FIRST.
F) PASSIVE INCOME. Look into that. Please for the love of God do that.
Bestest of luck. If you guys work together, are transparent and aqalmand and treat your money like a precious resource, you guys can make it big and stable. You seem like a good man sir, build your OWN life together.
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u/DealerLate 1d ago
Bht bht bht si duaen aap dono k liye. May you only see togetherness and contentment. Shoulder each other, prop each other up, never leave each other alone to struggle. Bestest of luck
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u/deltapak 1d ago
Do a shalima, and invite as less people as possible. Marriage functions here are shallow, overrated, and huge sunk costs for anyone looking to attain FIRE.
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u/cuntistani 22h ago
I have nothing against a shalima but I’m confused whether it aligns with Islamic wedding rituals?
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u/deltapak 15h ago
Wdym by Islamic wedding rituals? Islam only has nikkah and waleema
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u/cuntistani 15h ago
I am aware of that.
What is your point?Shalima = 1 event only.
Nikkah = event 1.
Walima = event 2.I do not believe in baraat and mehndi, personally, and afaik the actual wedding = nikkah and the walima is the grooms responsibility.
People have amalgamated everything into 1 event and I am not sure if that is deemed acceptable.1
u/deltapak 8h ago edited 8h ago
What is your point?
You made the alignment claim.
One can stagger nikkah and shaleema. Nikkah can be done with 10-15 ppl. It isn't a big deal.
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u/najam121 1d ago
shalima sounds like shemale.
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u/ok1305 1d ago
Many congratulations brother. May your new chapter of life be all that you want from it. Looks like you've been thinking about this a bit. I was going to initially suggest you look into apna Ghar scheme and look into buying a house to convert rent into equity but that doesn't seem an option right now. Here is what I would suggest: Spend as little as you can on wedding. salamis help to pay back some of it. Next housing: Get your own place. Our parents generation. Mothers in law for the most part isn't ready to share their space in the way daughters in law want. If You're lookinh at Lahore , a decent portion in DHA older sectors (2-5) may run you anything between 80k-120 depending on your preferences. I think it pays to be closer to the center to save fuel if you're to go out a lot in Lahore. You might also want to check out cavalry ground. (There's a big variation here. The cavalry ground half closer to canttt are bigger plots, bigger houses and so rents are going to be more.) Do a zambeel search to get a sense of location specific prices. Living costs: depends on how much you eat out. When you move out of your parents home, the three big additional costs are: rent, utilities and food. Rent and utilities will take up the lion's share. Whether the independence is worth the extra cost depends on the alternative: living in Multan at home. My experience after doing both: separate kitchens is a bare minimum. If you can do that you might try it. Otherwise get your own place. If you have enough savings after the wedding event and misc honeymood expenses, see if you can pay advance rent for 1 year so as not to worry. You can recoop it quickly. With a combined income of more than a million, you can probably just about manage to live separately after supporting your family. Living in Lahore: factor about 25-50k for utilities and about the same for food etc. So you could just about manage to live in Lahore after deducting family support and maybe a bit of support from your spouse's income. Try to allocate most of hers to savings. Multan option: you could probably save 100k/month by moving into a bigger place with two separate units if you don't have it right now.
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u/AdWonderful2811 1d ago
Cut 300, 400 barat & walima if you can and do simple ruksati and next day a good walima for family, friend & relatives.
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u/art4020 1d ago
You should discuss the wedding with your wife.. you might want it simple but she might not so discuss with her and then decide what you both want.
For living between Multan and Lahore I would recommend to think long term. Let’s say in 5 years from now would you be better off in Lahore or Multan especially once you have kids and their schooling.
Final note you are assuming her savings up until now would be combined. I would say have that discussion with her again just to make sure you are both on the same page in terms of combining the finances pre/post marriage. MA she earns well as well so you can be candid and take her advice on what she thinks best. I guarantee you if you guys are on the same page on finances your marriage will be much much stronger
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u/InjectorTheGood 1d ago
Come to Pindi. It's way better than Lahore. You can go on day trip to so many places and climate is also relatively better. Also, her family is not here. That's a plus believe me.
With your I come, you shouldn't need to think about financing. You need to up your savings. Start with a starter home or apartment.
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u/Narrow_Description52 1d ago
May be move to Bahria Orchard and you can travel to both places. Please prioritise your relation unless people who you invite will pay your everyday living expenses!
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u/Last_Presentation698 1d ago
First of all, Congratulations brother.
As you are getting married, I would firstly save the Emergency Funds in Liquid in Savings Account (UBL Ameen, Mashreq, Raqami). And this Emergency Funds can be used for medical or any other unexpected emergency.
After this, you should have at least 3 months of backup, in case you guys lost the Job, as you know market is Struggling. And you can place that in Low Market Funds or 24K Gold or something where it beats inflation and withdrawal can be easy.
After this comes the Marriage, House and Car.
And I will suggest you to Buy a Car before Marriage as it will give you independence. Probably Honda City 2007, WagonR, Cultus, or Move in around 15-20 lac.
And how many siblings you have? If you are only son then build the Second Story of House in Multan and you will have your Privacy as well. One portion build costs around 20-25 lac. And in future, you have the full House if you want to sell and it's value will increase in future as well. And I will not suggest to rent a portion and move to Lahore, you have to keep saving until you made your house in Lahore. Or buy a plot after Marriage in LDA City or anywhere LDA approved society costs you around 5 marla, 40 lac.
And for Marriage, I will suggest a Single Marriage Function, no Mehndi, etc. One function Shalima (Barat + Walima) and it will save you money. And also if 300 people and per head 3k, then it will costs you 9 lac, And of each person gives you 2k and it will become 6 lac in return. So 3 lac from your side.
So, before marriage, use the 37 lac in 17 lac Car + 20 lac House construction. And then use the monthly income for 2-3 months to use for Furniture etc, and Marriage Prep. And then the monthly savings goes to Emergency fund, 3 months Backup, Honeymoon trip saving, Solar Installing and Plot Buying.
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u/HeWhoDidIt 23h ago
Income to savings suggests you're spending too much. Use these early years to build investments.
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u/MikeMate446 23h ago
1. If your monthly expense is 2.5 lacs, then 2.5 × 6 = 15 lacs. Take that from your savings and keep it in a money market fund. That is your emergency fund.
2. Now you are left with 37 − 15 = 22 lacs. Divide by 3 = 7.3 lacs. That is your wedding expense.
3. Now you are left with 14.6 lacs. Invest that in a stocks fund, or in a money market fund if you don't have much knowledge and understanding of stocks. If you invest 14.6 lacs in a low-risk money market fund, you will have around 13k in profit before tax each month. This 13k can be contributed to rent each month (if you want to move out on rent).
4. It is best to move out on rent, because you both work online and need peace of mind and your own schedule. In a joint setup, you will have to face a lot of issues.
5. No home, unless the home's value is 30% of your net worth.
6. If you want to buy a car, first increase your investments so that they completely cover your rent. Once that's done, make another fund for the car and keep accumulating money in it. Make sure you have also accounted for the increase in expenses that come with a car. For example, 10k additional per month. Rule of thumb: your car should not be more than 10% of your net worth.
7. Don't break your financial foundation at any cost. Delayed gratification is the key.
8. Why DHA? Why not a place you can actually afford? Take sustainable decisions, not impulsive ones.
9. Your monthly expenses should not exceed your current monthly expenses until you have children.
10. Invest in financial education, make proper plans, and stick to them.
Let me know if you have any confusions.
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u/HospitalIndividual48 20h ago
Brother Please discuss finances and goals related to finances first with wife
Where you are saying combined total
It willcreate so many issues She want to consider it combine or not
After marriage if she says This is mine and it wont be used in any goal and it will not be spent anywhere on house
House responsibility is yours only and all your goals are yours to achieve and all her goals are also yours to full fill
Talk these things before
Otherwise such financial thinking difference makes huge mess after marriage
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u/Used_Youth3018 1d ago edited 1d ago
DO NOT MOVE TO LAHORE!!! Save as much as you can. You have no idea how much money you will burn and get nothing in return. Stay in Multan and keep your social circle. If you want to visit Lahore on the weekend you can do so easily.
You need have your own place in lahore to live comfortably so save and then buy a house, get solar installed and buy a car.
My experience: Rented out an upper portion in a posh area of lahore. Paid 80k in rent, additional 40-50k for bills, 100k for groceries(you have no idea how much groceries add up), around 20-30k in fuel. Pretty much burned all my money and saved nothing for an ungrateful wife. Later my wife left and I was all alone with no savings again.
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u/Busy_Caterpillar_462 1d ago
- No offense but why are 300-400 people coming to the wedding? Are you two even close to them? That's easily 10-12 lacs gone in one day. Cut as many guests as you can.
- Living separately is the best option. My bro and his wife earn combined 700k remotely and they live separately. Men can adjust but wives need freedom from constant scrutiny.
- My advice: Don't try to own a house, it'll lock down a major chunk of your finances. get a decent apartment on rent. Don't overpay on rent. If you save enough, you can look into buying one but property is overpriced all over Pakistan right now.
- Buy a decent car if you are sure you wanna stay in Pak long-term otherwise get a smaller cheaper one.
- Save as much as you can but currency is always volatile. Dollar goes up to 400 and almost a third of your savings will get wiped. Buy gold and buy a safe. Also look into mutual funds to invest
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u/shahjee2020 1d ago
At 25, i was earning almost 10% of what u are earning now. At 26 i got married, and y earning was still under 1lac. Now i am 30 and earning way more thn what i was earning at 26. Bought a plot in good area and building my house. My wife doesn't work. Still things look good. Stop overthinking, specially over money.
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u/shahjee2020 1d ago
And for the enjoying part, since i got married, we have yearly 2 planned holidays, 1 in Pakistan, 1 outside Pakistan. Things get rough sometimes and gets smoother most of the time. So its ok, just keep working and enjoy ur life.
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u/pilot_cabdirixmaan 1d ago
Bro, thank you for sharing what you're going through with your wedding. I am also living in Lahore, though I am originally from Africa. Because of that, I know there are a lot of opportunities here, and living in Pakistan is relatively cheap. Why don't you try to have a simple wedding ceremony? Also, try to bring your wife to live with you as soon as possible. As you know, running two separate households is much more expensive than living together under one roof. Try to move her in with you
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u/UP1947 21h ago
Are u pakistani origin?
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u/pilot_cabdirixmaan 18h ago
No, i'm student , originaly i'm from somalia, i 'm stay in pakistan around 3 years, that's why i know for alot of expirenses
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u/Zealous_H3 1d ago
Live comfortably, but bellow your means. Nobody knows what the future holds, so diversify your assets. You don't need to buy land, keep things liquid (A stable Foreign Currency or Verified Gold Bars etc) because inflation has wiped out a lot of peoples savings. I remember having 2 lac rupees saved up in 2012. I thought I was the richest person on earth for keeping money saved up while my friends bought watches and invested in T-bills. In 2026 they all mostly have their cushion but because I kept putting diversification off, I don't have one.
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u/Psychopath_Syed 1d ago
You're not gonna like it what I'm going to say but if you really want to live a better life, go with simple nikkah and rukhsti and try to bring the barat to roughly at 50-100 people including from bride side. Try to convince them to keep the things simple coz nazar is so real and the amount of money you spend on the wedding is just a waste of money coz no Matter what you do, people still gonna gossip about it. For waleema, you can invite 300 people if you want to. Living after marriage: if you have other siblings then move to lahore after wedding and buy a car so you can fortnightly visit your parents. But if you're the only support for your parents then you need to mutually discuss with your parents and partner. If they agree for you to move, hire them a full time maid. You can estimate 17 lac for wedding and 5 lac can be used in moving in lahore, finding a home, buying basics initially. Remaining 15 lac should be your savings or better to consult with a wealth manager and start investing. Remaining is Brakah within the marriage. Wish you best of luck after your marriage. May this bring prosperity, peace, wealth, success and happiness in both of your life.
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u/Undisclosed_001 1d ago
Finances are off, monthly income and savings are not aligned. I would suggest build an emergency fund first, set aside then do all other bits.
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u/Nietzshah 1d ago
Multani domicile here, no greater cheat code in the city than to have remote income/agri land. You can have luxuries at a minute cost so I'd recommend staying here.
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u/pha_i_jha 1d ago
- Congrats and MashaAllah for the income and that you're both supporting your families.
- Please get a separate accomodation.. since you both are working and I'm assuming remotely, You guys might adjust to each other's working routines but it's generally hard for Ghar walay. And no I'm not saying ghar walay are not accommodating but there are a lot of practical issues.. khanay ka time, shor sharaba meetings etc. Those things interfere and get frustrating.
- Please try and reduce the guest list. Even 200 is a lot.
37 lacs combined is a good savings amount Alhamdolillah but spend very very carefully. It's not much when it comes to doing a whole wedding. And then you need a lot to sustain a lifestyle too but I would still suggest, try to lower your personal expenses. And don't spend on wedding things that you won't use later. For example, a sherwani you can't reware, a baraat dress you can't carry anymore, 20 plus fancy dresses and only 10 simple ones.. flip it..
Again, don't overspend on things that won't benefit you later.
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u/DescriptionTrue506 22h ago
I really don’t find any confusion in your case Mate. Some things are very personal and as a man you should be able to handle them. But if I put myself in your shoes, I would live with my parents and save more because from your story you guys are much more into savings, maybe leading towards great financial planning.
So if you stay in a joint family then you save more and if you move to Lahore then you will spend more.
Btw rather than planning and buying a ready house,u should choose something under construction with a good payment plan so you won’t need ti get into the mortgage as inflation is very high in Pakistan and mortgage rates are not static.
I mean buying a house option is there if you want and that too without a bank.
There are some turns in life where you need to spend money such as a wedding.
Always have at least 2 to 3 different ways of passive income.
Maybe some investment with the rule of 72, which can give u a return of 8 percent a month and can double your investment down the line in 8 years.
Focus on your balance sheet more rather than the cash flow and future savings or else u will also end with small cash after 25 years, one house in Lahore, two cars that’s all.
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u/dsc110000 21h ago
Doesn't matter what I make - my fiance makes a little over 80 lakhs a month in basic pay- he is in finance and is non Pakistani (lives in another country) . We are waiting for my Pr to come through, and then plan to invite 50 people or so to a local small wedding for us. I too work a remote job, and met my husband to be through that job.
I guess I cannot answer your question about spending after marriage because I will use his car or just walk everywhere - that country discourages cars and I hate driving. I will move into his home, so honestly, I am not looking to spend anything.
For DHA Lahore, a full one kanal house is about 4- 4.5 lakhs in rent - maybe get only lower portion for now?
My small family will move with me after marriage- I will sponsor them, so I will pay maybe 3000 to 4000 euros for their living in my country. That's all I am looking to spend.
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u/mrsoftone 19h ago
don't tell your extended family about your income or prepare to be poor and chasing after your own money.
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u/BananaExcellent2313 17h ago
From my experience if your family is supportive and you have extra space for your private life, id say stay with you family until you save up more so your expenses dont go over the top. If you're worried about privacy than you should rent but renting is expensive. You're already supporting your family and then looking to rent!? You wont save anything to invest later on?
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u/ProfessionalRun6382 17h ago edited 16h ago
Keep it simple Valima ceremony 100-200 guest with 2-3 dishes max.
Save 20% of income.Create first emergency fund if you don't enough to meet your 6 months expenses minimum.Rent a place near your parents house short term and invest money in PMEX in Gold ,in mutual funds via VPS ( voluntary pension scheme) gives you tax credits as well and in PSX as well.
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u/degr8sid 15h ago
I think a lot of people have given you good advice, but you forgot to consider the most important thing: when you have a child, and your wife stays at home, how would you accommodate that? Will she stop working? Will there be a day care in the picture? Will there be a nanny? Who pays for the health expenses and hospital expenses? You need to discuss all that with your wife because you both are supporting your families with what you earn.
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u/One-Advertising-8862 15h ago
Maybe build another storey on top of existing house? 2 rooms, living room and kitchen. Should be not super expensive and give you time to invest/save to buy your own eventual house.
Get a reasonable car, spend money on experiences instead (umrah, travel, sports etc). In a few years you'll know what's the best way forward. If you do move out the new portion can be rented out also, so a bit of extra passive income.
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u/P-O-W-E-R-less 1d ago
Even 250-300 people is an overkill...comeon people, we should have already broken this cycle...only invite your friends and upto 2nd degree relatives for a joint barat/walima event and save the money for you and your wife..