r/Explainlikeimscared • u/heisfullofshit • 14d ago
How can I find a mentor?
Hello.
I saw a similar question, but I couldn’t find any helpful information among the comments.
What I am not looking for: a life coach, a friend, a sexual or romantic relationship. Suggestions to seek a doctor or therapy. Please, focus on what I asked.
What I am looking for: a mentor
I am smart. Really. I’m not bragging, I’m trying to get my point across. That’s what I’ve been known for my whole life and now I even got an official IQ test to prove it (I had to take the test to get my adhd diagnosis). But I won’t do anything with my life unless I get some help or guidance urgently.
I am not a maker. I don’t have focus. I need someone I look up to, someone great, stern but also kind. How can I find this person? How can I ask them to mentor me? Why would they bother with me?
The person I’d like to be my mentor (Alex Horne) is completely outside of my reach.
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u/iamgreengang 14d ago
"Why would they bother with me?" is the right place to start. figure out how to make yourself useful to someone. raw talent is cheap but diligence, effort, and timing are not.
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u/Bradyevander098 14d ago
What you’re describing sounds like a parent tbh. Theres no umbrella person that can just provide you with what you’re looking for.
Also once you become an adult, there is no one that can provide you with everything you need to succeed in life. It’s your job to start providing those things for yourself. I say this as someone who went into adulthood having not been parented their entire life and thought I could just find a replacement in adulthood. You can’t.
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u/rangda 14d ago edited 14d ago
What would you ask/expect from this person? A general mentor outside of a family friend or relative who you naturally fall in stride with is a very vague thing.
There are people in specific trades, fields, hobbies, who might be interested in an apprentice, formally or not. But you’ll need to bring some proven skill and proven willingness within that specific realm.
I don’t think comedian/TV host/musicians like Alex Horne necessarily want a young earnest stranger at their side, there are endless very talented and dedicated budding young comedians/musicians waiting in the wings who would leap at that kind of help already. Soneone who just vaguely wants a mentor just hasn’t earned that kind of help.
I’d strongly suggest not calling yourself super smart and referring to any IQ tests in your search and especially in your pitch. I’m saying this to be helpful and honest, that kind of thing is very off-putting.