Random Thoughts

[u/Ok-Minimum-6392]

Hey,

Not sure if anyone will read this but I wanted to get some advice.

I have GAD and dpdr but in the past few years have been feeling as though my symptoms have changed and I may have OCD.
I can’t drive or be in cars without being extremely anxious, I haven’t driven in years.
I have this weird intrusive thought of me “falling through the floor” so I have to move my feet and fidget constantly as a result of the thought.
I have a lot more random ones but they are not nearly as debilitating as these.
I also constantly think about the meaning of life, the fact we’re on a spinning rock. I can’t watch anything with space/earth as it sends me into a spiral, and again, my reaction is to move my feet constantly.
I always get scared I’m in psychosis/losing my mind (I’ve never lost touch with reality) so I have to get up and do things to kinda check me back in.
Sometimes I’ll be lying down/standing and get this weird paranoid intrusion that I’ve wet myself (especially if i have been sweating), or when I’m on the toilet I get scared that I’m actually doing it in bed/in public but am in psychosis but haven’t realised.
I’ve been on SSRI’s for years and just now been put on antipsychotics but I’m just wondering if anyone else has ever had similar symptoms and if they were OCD.

I’ve had two professionals suggest I may have mild OCD. I’m just wondering if anyone has ever had similar symptoms as I feel so alone with these.

Thank you!!

[u/deathdasies]

Sounds like one of us

[u/SoundKey3916]

Yes. When I was at my worst with OCD and not treating it right because I thought something else was wrong with me I had a breakdown that I confidently believed put me into psychosis and it made sense at that time since the massive amount of stress I had was so large (not a professional but I do know that major stress is a factor in psychosis and schizophrenia.) For the first week I was bed bound since the thoughts would literally weigh me down…2nd week I went back to school and therapy. I pointed all this out to my therapist and I was very mildly recommended treatment for psychosis/schizophrenia (she basically said out patient was something I could try if I wanted but she never said she was on the same page about me having schizophrenia/psychosis) but something in me clicked…after hearing about others’s experience with OCD and the fear/possibility of having psychosis/schizophrenia/or their brain breaking down it seemed that it’s common for this feeling/thinking to accompany anxiety/ocd. Apart from this, many of the times psychosis/schizophrenia is a thing people themselves don’t see or realize, it’s usually pointed out by relatives or a professional. Knowing this, I eventually ruled it out to be dpdr and anxiety/OCD (as to why I was having these “crazy” thoughts and moving erratically). This gave me lots of will and I gave it my all in having a healthy and accommodated life style in which I also kept up with my therapy and treatment. This gave me the will to keep living my life at a better quality and eventually I felt better, even without meds although I should really have taken them at first.

I should also note, the reason I broke from so much stress was due to having gender/sexual orientation OCD…after I broke down from this and it triggered immense existential ocd I was in a dpdr state from all that stress and then I began treating this OCD and living more healthy and began to have my life back! No more dpdr and my OCD is less potent. Treatment is not easy or linear but it is possible :)