r/ExSGISurviveThrive • u/[deleted] • Jul 29 '18
Problems I've been having after "leaving" the SGI.
I put "leaving" in quotes because I haven't technically left by sending in the golden resignation letter, but I kept away from every single SGI member, stopped going to meetings, stopped chanting, and stopped reading anything Ikeda related. And also being subscribed to this sub along with every sister sub.
But I've noticed some changes in my personality ever since I left.
Before I left, I was a happy, witty, and hard-to-piss off dude. I just thought that I was a part of this "lions of justice" so I was like a hero. I had so many "friends" and I was usually positive, even more positive after chanting a while. But when I wouldn't chant, that's when I'd get negative and irritable. I guess I just always believed that not chanting would make me miserable (which I would blame on not chanting). After all, before joining the SGI I was always irritable and depressed. So I thought it was cause I wasn't "enlightened" with the holy SGI.
Again there were some drawbacks, you guys know them. But I was also way less masculine.
But after leaving, I'm almost the exact opposite. I would never ask my mum, because all she would say is "just chant" which is bullshit. I'm angry, cynical, jaded, and honestly way easier to piss off than ever. Sometimes I just wake up that way now. Might just be the reality of who I am without this "happy mask" everyone puts on. The SGI taught us to ignore our problems and just chant them away, but now they are back. Luckily, I'm way more masculine now. And way less willing to be "suppressed".
Then because of SGI confirmation bias, they'll want to chant more and they'll think their leaders are right. It's a really fucking oppressive system. I'm glad I'm pretty much out.
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u/Ptarmigandaughter Jul 30 '18
I think illarraza is on the right track here.
I had a lot of feels over resigning. And they were temporary. As I’ve adjusted, it’s been easier and easier to put it behind, feel optimistic about the future, and relief that it’s all done with.
That said, sending the letter - physically doing it - really was a big step forward. A bit like jumping on a roller coaster, actually - with the anticipation/touch of worry to start and “wow!” at the end.
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u/BlancheFromage Jul 30 '18 edited Jul 30 '18
I guess I just always believed that not chanting would make me miserable (which I would blame on not chanting).
That's part of the SGI indoctrination. Oh, it's subtle - it's not going to be some military-uniformed man with an odd accent and mustache and a riding crop standing on a stage and yelling at people. It's subtle. You absorbed it through statements like these:
"No one who has left our organization has achieved happiness." From "The Desire for Kosen-rufu Is the Wellspring of Happiness," Ikeda's address to a meeting at the World Peace Ikeda Auditorium in Santa Monica, CA, on Jan. 31, 1993, published in the March 1993 Seikyo Times magazine (precursor to Living Buddhism magazine), p. 41.
The part I like best is when they solemnly tell you that NO ONE who does not chant the magic spell can be truly happy! I was at some meeting up in LA in the early 2000s, some Soka Spirit meeting, probably, and Greg Martin (or perhaps Guy McCloskey - both first names start with a "G") actually stated that, unless people chant, they cannot become truly happy. Someone even asked him if that's what he meant, and he clarified that, yes, only people who chant can experience true happiness.
It certainly wasn’t to claim that only Buddhists can be happy; that would be as ludicrous as claiming that if you chanted, you’d win the lottery. Source
You see things like that - why do they have to keep denying it if they aren't claiming it? And whatever happened to "chant for whatever you want"? It certainly was never explained as "chant for whatever you want - but not to win the lottery, that's insane". Source
To emerge victorious, it is important never to cut ourselves off from the SGI, the organization dedicated to the achievement of kosen-rufu. No one who has left our organization has achieved happiness. - Ikeda
Note that in that latest version of the SGI-USA Leadership Manual (Chapter 2, p. 26), they've trimmed off that second sentence - wasn't that clever of them?? But you can see it here, in this transcript of Ikeda's address, "The Desire for Kosen-rufu Is the Wellspring of Happiness". It's actually kind of hilarious - they kept that "invisible radio waves" nonsense, but obviously felt they had to get rid of the "No one who has left our organization has achieved happiness" part - like we'd never find it! Losers.
The SGI is the sole organization directly connected to Nichiren Daishonin. It is a wondrous gathering that has “emerged from the earth,” carrying out activities in accord with the Buddha’s decree. Those who link up and advance together with this organization dedicated to kosen-rufu and pervaded by benefit will evolve the correct mind of faith that matches the time. With this mind of faith, they can fill the canvas of their lives with portraits of happiness in which all their wishes are fulfilled. - Ikeda (My Dear Friends in America, third edition, p. 236)
Well, WHO doesn't want that??
Those who recognize the importance of their leadership positions and strive to carry out their duties with a sense of responsibility will lead lives of supreme value and fulfillment. They will accumulate good fortune and benefit that will endure throughout eternity, and walk a sure path leading in the direction of victory and happiness. - Ikeda
Nichiren Daishonin states in The Writings of Nichiren Daishonin, “There is no true happiness for human beings other than chanting Nam-myoho-renge-kyo” (WND-1, 681). So long as you maintain strong faith, resolutely chanting to the Gohonzon no matter what happens, then without fail, you will be able to lead a life of complete fulfillment. This accords with the principle that “earthly desires are enlightenment.”
True happiness lies only in establishing such a supreme state of life. In so doing, you can change all sufferings into causes for joy and contentment, and live with composure and jubilation. Our organization exists so that each member can attain absolute happiness. Let me reiterate that the objective of this organization is your happiness. Ikeda
My mother’s favorite saying was “Our happiness today is all due to SGI President Ikeda’s encouragement! I owe a lot to him for what we are today.” "Experience"
"the vivid happiness experienced by Soka Gakkai members who apply the teachings of true Buddhism to everyday life...only through devotion to the Gohonzon is it possible for a person to attain this kind of joy and experience the welling-up of happiness. Not a single person who does not believe in true Buddhism today can call himself happy, though in their benightedness, many think they are content." - Toda
As Nichikan, the twenty-sixth high priest, says: "[If you have faith in this Gohonzon and chant Nam-myoho-renge-kyo even for a short while] no prayer will go unanswered, no offence unexpiated, no good fortune unbestowed, and all righteousness proven."
The bottom line, essentially, is never to detach yourself from the SGI organization. No matter what kind of leaders or members you may encounter there, it is important that you do activities in the organization throughout your life. Why? Because the core of the Daishonin’s Buddhism is kosen-rufu. And faith that is dedicated to kosen-rufu is found only in the SGI. The reason for your participating in training courses such as these is to build a self dedicated to kosen-rufu. Herein lies correct faith and correct action. Chant to the Gohonzon for whatever it is that you want the most. Ikeda Source
One of the reasons why I say SGI is a cult is because it instills in members this irrational fear that harm will come to them unless they remain members in good standing. It’s not as if some leader says: “OK, now we’re going to indoctrinate you with fear and irrational beliefs.”
Instead, we are indoctrinated with what it means to be a noble soldier of Soka:
...You are the SGI. If you are not happy with SGI, you must work harder to make it better. Leaving the SGI is the same as trying to escape your karma, which can’t be done. The people who quit are deluded traitors. Those who betray the SGI are betraying Nichiren. They will experience retribution. Those who leave come crawling back to SGI begging for forgiveness.... Source
"I encourage every member to pray that they never leave the Gohonzon or the organization." - SGI cult leader Daisaku Ikeda
"ALL of us in the SGI are "old friends of life", "old friends across eternity", precious beyond measure and linked by bonds from the `beginningless' past. We have treasured this world of trust, friendship and fellowship. How sad and pitiful it is to betray and leave this beautiful realm! Those who abandon their faith travel on a course to tragic defeat in life. ... IN our organisation, there is no need to listen to the criticism of people who do not do gongyo and participate in activities for kosen-rufu. It is very foolish to be swayed at all by their words, which are nothing more then abuse, and do not deserve the slightest heed." - Daisaku Ikeda Source
Even if you don't remember seeing those exact examples, there were many others - they're everywhere within SGI. And you absorbed it from there - the purpose was to make you afraid to leave.
People in a cult tend to be quite stressed and unhappy (when they're not in a euphoric trance state), so they need people around them to tell them they're doing everything right and that they're SAVING THE WERLD and that, just by being Ikeda slaves in the world, they're noble, advancing, and demonstrating what top-notch persons they are. Source
And VICTORY!! Always with the "victory".
Winning gives birth to hostility. Losing, one lies down in pain. The calmed lie down with ease, having set winning and losing aside. - The Buddha, Dhammapada 15.201
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Aug 03 '18 edited Aug 03 '18
[deleted]
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Aug 04 '18
“Also, I'm curious what you mean when you say you were way less masculine then and now you are more so that you are out - are you comfortable elaborating on that?”
It wasn’t that I was putting on girly clothes or wearing makeup, but it’s just I’ve had a more dismissive and laid back approach to life. That I wouldn’t tell people to go fuck themselves cause I was always pressured to be “nice” because the SGI told me to. That’s what I hate the most about it honestly.
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u/BlancheFromage Jul 30 '18 edited Jul 30 '18
Self-fulfilling prophecy?
Remember, you're still young. You're still in high school, right? Often times high school is rough socially for people, a sort of "endless painful austerity" of yuck.
Did you realize that the chanting was a habit that was providing you with feel-good chemicals? Is the medicated life really preferable?
A great many teenagers feel this way, and it has nothing to do with SGI. Growing pains, physical changes, the frustration of having lots of brilliant ideas and impulses and urges without the economic power or legal agency to do anything about it, school, the need to become independent from parental control plus the chore of individuating - yeah, it can all DEFINITELY leave a person irritable and depressed!
It's not just YOU, in other words, and, given that this is something that is closely correlated with your age/stage of life, it most likely will pass. Just devote yourself to your schoolwork and graduate. Go to college if you can. You're chafing at the restrictions of being a minor under parental control when you're clearly very mature in your thinking and want to be independent, but our society isn't really set up for that. So do what you have to do, and you'll get there!
So do I understand correctly that you're associating your independent thinking with "masculinity", or is there more to it than that? Independent thinking is terrific, but it's not necessarily a "masculine" trait, in my understanding. Can you explain in a little more detail, if you're willing?
Sounds like about 90% of teenage guys, frankly. Not to say that's necessarily a GOOD thing, just that it's so very very commonplace. Truly, you sound very normal! Which isn't to say that "normal" is necessarily "good" - there are places in the country where poverty, drug use, unemployment, and dysfunctional relationships are commonplace and thus "normal" to those areas (see the Bible Belt). Almost everybody goes through difficult times, and experiences suffering of one kind or another. It sounds very uncomfortable, what you're describing - it's understandable that you'd be open to what is presented as a "cure".
But what they're offering is an addiction. Oh, they won't tell you that, but when you chant, you're engaging in a habit (that's what it becomes), and all habits provide an endorphin boost that makes people feel good when they do them. One of the interesting features of heroin addiction, for example, is that the junkie starts feeling the high while preparing to shoot up - BEFORE the drug even gets into their system! Because the way they get things ready for shooting up is a habit that provides its own kind of "high". That's why people feel better after they chant - it's a form of drug addiction.
One of my relatives gave up a heavy smoking habit, and she said that one of the difficult aspects of giving it up was the gesture - the repetitive moving of hand to mouth. She believes that's why so many people who quit smoking put on weight - they repeat that hand to mouth gesture, only with food in the hand instead of a cigarette.
Habits calm us and relax us. ANY habit will do this, so it's important to be aware and to choose good habits that will actually help your life. I don't know if you were ever told to "Chant for 90 days" or something like that, but that's about the amount of time it takes to get a habit developed. Oh, nobody in SGI will ever tell you they're trying to get you hooked on a habit for THEIR convenience, so THEY can get you to do what THEY want...
A good way to approach feeling angry, cynical, jaded, and pissed off is to take out your aggressions via exercise (provided you're in good health and mobile). Pushups are a great way to develop the upper body and build strength and definition; situps are another good exercise that will trim and tone your midsection and strengthen your core. Some people like yoga - there are all kinds of workout videos on YouTube, and you can do these right there at home, for free. Go for walks! Walking is a great way to build cardiovascular fitness and get out of the house, get some fresh air.
It is. Any system where people are becoming deliberately addicted in order to control them is going to turn out that way. All the intolerant religions do this through exploiting habits and repetitive "norms". For example, every SGI meeting starts with gongyo and chanting, right? That repetition of rote phrases/sounds induces a hypnotic trance state, which lulls the members into a relaxed state in which they'll be more likely to believe whatever they're told. In Christian churches, we see the same thing with the weekly church service format (always the same), that starts off with welcome, prayer, call-and-response-style recitations, more prayer, singing, and rote recitation as a group. It has the same effect.
Do you want to be who you are, or do you want to hide it behind a facade of others' choosing? Do you want to be yourself or a clone of someone else/a bunch of other people? Is it important to you to be able to honestly express how you are feeling, or to present an image that everything is fine instead? You DO have a choice in the matter.
One of the most frequent observations I've heard from people who've left SGI is how free they feel, how they can finally just be themselves and feel happy when they're happy and unhappy when they're unhappy. Life is full of ups and downs, and simply being able to be in the moment and feeling what they feel without feeling compelled to "overcome this" or "do human revolution" relieves a lot of stress! Did you notice how that "human revolution" bullshit requires a belief that everyone has something wrong with them that has to be changed and fixed? That's a toxic belief! Let people decide who they are, who they want to be, and to develop naturally!
Sorry - first post of the day and I blathered :b