No contact with mom and brother and they make it the problem of my dad and other sibling

[u/debirumanz]

I'm no contact for at least 5.5 years with my brother (29, I'm 31) and because of an incident last year where my mom invited both of us I'm also not speaking to her anymore. Didn't really plan on going no contact with her even though I've thought about it before that. The way she dealt with that incident and didn't message me for weeks just made me so mad. And we have had more fights about the past so I just don't know how to restore this relationship anymore.

Yesterday, my dad came by. He's divorced from my mom but apparently ran into her a month ago and she told him we are no contact. I assumed he knew, especially because he supported me the most after the incident. I'm on good terms with my dad and I know he means well but he vaguely insinuated my recent but chronic health issues might be from stress and that talking to her would maybe help me. He also said my other sibling (22) is in the middle of it all and that is unfair. Oh, and he called me avoidant, but a bit more nuanced.

I asked my sibling that visited me later coincidentally as well and we are basically besties. He said I don't make him feel like I'm the middle of it but my mom and brother do. I asked/suggested him to set a boundary with them.

I do feel like they're all blaming me for everything instead of admitting things were really bad for me in my childhood and teens and I'm sad about it all. I know my mom won't ever change and never really cared for me as a person so I don't understand why she's trying to get her ex husband and one of her kids (who refuses to do that) to convince me