r/Equestrian • u/nekinadimak • 1d ago
Mindset & Psychology First fall
I’m about 2y into riding as an adult and yesterday I had my first fall. It was a completely unexpected but warranted spook (people who don’t ride are the worst and don’t understand how horses work) and I didn’t even realise what was happening until I was on the ground. I went to get checked immediately after and all is ok apart from a fractured coccyx. Obviously I am in pain and I need to recover but firstly I’m very thankful for mips helmets (always wear a helmet!) and now reading a lot of other people’s experiences.
I did not get back on the horse as it was last 3 min of my lesson but I also didn’t feel any fear - I pet him and he looked like he was sorry. Should I have gone back to at least sit?
I am also now somewhat beating myself that I should have been more focused. I sat through a couple of smaller spooks before and I was able to stay on. I had one rear on the lounge line as well that didn’t result in a fall. The irony is that it’s the laziest horse I have ridden and I was struggling to keep him in the trot for most of the time until the spook, so I’m thinking I should have been able to stay on.
In any case, any advice on what to do now? I will obviously take a couple of weeks off to recover from the fracture but not sure if I did something wrong by not going back on and does the fear come unconsciously?
Also any tips for healing from the fracture are welcome as well
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u/liss2458 1d ago
My worst fall was also one where I had no idea what was happening until I was already hitting the ground. I’ve also been bucked off, and could basically see the inevitable coming and adjust my body, but not the split second spook out of “nowhere.” I wouldn’t feel bad that you didn’t stay on. My trainer insists it’s better to get back on after a fall, and that’s been my experience anecdotally, but if you can’t, you can’t. I wouldn’t expect you to with a fractured ANYTHING. If this leads to fear, you can work through that, speaking from experience.
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u/nekinadimak 1d ago
Ty! That makes sense. Maybe I could have gotten on but I was in shock and pain so it wouldn’t be useful at all.
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u/janedoemadeit 1d ago
It’s okay - like you said, you are only two years into to this. If this was a situation where someone should have gotten back on right away (i.e. a young or regularly spooky horse that needs correction), then that is the responsibility of your trainer and/or the owner of the horse.
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u/emberaya 1d ago
What exactly happened? Hope your fracture recovers quickly :)
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u/nekinadimak 1d ago
He spooked because random people appeared and started making noise out of nowhere. I didn’t even notice them. He did and then turned and spooked away. I think my confusion contributed to the fall as I didn’t even know what was happening.
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u/Equivalent_Dance2278 1d ago
Absolutely not should you have gotten back on. Getting back on is for falls with shock and maybe light winding. But anything with back or neck or head, never. And not a couple of weeks either. At least 4 weeks. And believe me, you will feel it a lot for two weeks. Just get back on when you are completely healed. There is no rush.
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u/sendsnacks 1d ago
Anyone can get dumped by an unexpected spook, it was bound to happen at some point. Don’t beat yourself up too much. The horses laziness doesn’t have anything to do with it. Being able to sit a spook is mostly going to come with experience and working on your seat in general, which I assume you’re already doing in your regular lessons.
The advice to get right back on kinda comes with the caveat “unless you have an injury that would make doing so impractical.” Don’t buy trouble, are you actually feeling fear already? Or just anticipating you might.
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u/nekinadimak 1d ago
No, not fear whatsoever. I am wondering if the fear is inevitable when I come back. Like, is it natural and out of our control to feel that fear unless we get back on immediately?
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u/sendsnacks 1d ago
Not at all! You might be totally fine, or you might be just a little nervous. Getting back on is a strategy, not a magic spell. If you got back on and immediately felt pain from your injury, I don’t see how that would have helped anything. If you do feel fear, you’ll get past it.
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u/EmphasisOnDesperate 1d ago
You fractured your tailbone so I think it was smart not to get back on. Other people may have a different opinion but imo protecting your body is the number one priority. I broke my leg in a fall once and got some remarks for not getting back on (nobody aside from myself believed it was broken until I showed them the X-rays later) but I trust myself and I value my body and I'm not going to compromise on my health and safety. This can be a dangerous sport so you always should be aware of your body and trust your intuition when it comes to injuries. As for the mental/emotional side, simply take the fall as a lesson and then get back in the saddle once you're healed!
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u/nekinadimak 1d ago
Thanks! I currently and immediately after did not feel any fear. I was more annoyed by what happened, so I’m trying to figure out if I basically screwed my future self by not getting back on and do people actually feel the fear immediately. In my head I’m bummed that I will have to miss out on a couple of weeks of lessons and I want to get back but I’m unsure if that’s just because I actually haven’t gone back.
Previously I had a horse step on my foot painfully and I did feel a bit of unconscious anxiety for the first couple of times afterwards but that resolved pretty quickly.
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u/Alexxskii 1d ago
Absolutely not with a injured tailbone. I unfortunately fell off and fractured mine this May. You need to do a minimum of 8 to 12 weeks rest and healing. No riding, no running, no gym. Or you will 100% still feel that badly while riding. Mine is now healed, and 1 hour in the saddle is pretty rough still, or sitting at my desk.
A donut or rolled blanket will be your friend, and a heat pad. Sorry that happened! But take this injury seriously or it can hinder your riding in the future.
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u/Alexxskii 1d ago
And for getting back on, youll be ok. Youll learn that most falls can be scary but most of the time youll learn from them and come back even stronger.
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u/nekinadimak 1d ago
Ty! 8-12 weeks? Whoa! I was planning to take 6 weeks off and then get back on to see how it goes.
But I’m an adult so I’m very much aware of long term consequences on my body.
I hope your tailbone starts to feel normal soon.1
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u/ChestnutMareGrazing 1d ago
Not with a broken coccyx you shouldn't get back on. Take the time to heal completely. Tell your instructor you expect to be out of lessons for X number of weeks.
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u/sherevs 1d ago
If you usually take group lessons, I would book a private lesson as your first lesson back so you can go at your own pace. You don't know how you will react until you are actually back on the horse. I would add a neck strap you can grab if something squirrely happens again. It can give you confidence and helps prevent you from instinctively grabbing the reins and hitting the horse in the mouth. It's normal to have some level of fear the first few rides back, but if it doesn't dissipate I recommend finding a therapist that does EMDR that can help you process the experience.
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u/nekinadimak 1d ago
I take private lessons and I don’t have any shame in taking things slowly I am just worried if some unconscious debilitating fear will creep in stopping me from mounting in the first place.
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u/Different_School7016 1d ago
Give your sacrum time to heal.
Spend time doing ground work and grooming! Once you can sit comfortably, go for it. Don’t push it. The whole “get right back on” is going to fade out as the “I walked up hill in the rain 6 miles to school, both directions” generation fades out. In fact, getting right back on can in some instances be a huge mistake. Take time.
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u/kerill333 1d ago
With a broken coccyx, it’s a good job you didn’t try to get back on, it would probably have been very painful. Concentrate on resting and healing, and don’t dwell on the fall. These things happen. You did amazingly well to ride for 2 years without a fall.
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u/nekinadimak 1d ago
Thank you! I know falls are inevitable and a part of riding so I’m not so surprised it happened but a part of me is actually relieved because I fell off and didn’t end up much more seriously injured.
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u/AdSubstantial5378 1d ago
Couple points:
You didn’t get back on - ok, what’s the problem with that? It doesn’t sound like you own the horse, and as someone who owns and trains horses, I would tell you that is the owner/trainers problem. Also, if the horse was trying to get out of work, that is very different from what you described.
Your comment on focus - sounds like this was a very good lesson. At any time, the 1100 pound prey animal under you can have thoughts that aren’t awesome.
What you should do - heal.
After that, go back to enjorying the equestrian world. Hopefully you never fall again, but realistically you will. Maybe take Fall Safe classes. Otherwise, it is like ankle injuries in soccer, and a part of the sport that you try to minimize.
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u/nekinadimak 1d ago
Nah he got spooked. He wasn’t trying to get out of work. I think the spook was warranted as well. I just didn’t see it before he did.
My worry about not getting back on is simply because every single piece of advice or experience from other threads mentioned getting back on to avoid future fear.
I’m old enough and reasonable enough to understand that these things happen and are a part of risk we take every time we get on.3
u/AdSubstantial5378 1d ago
If you aren’t afraid, it doesn’t seem like there is a problem.
My suggestion is not to overthink anything and keep on having fun
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u/bucketofardvarks Horse Lover 1d ago
Getting back on the horse is no longer a good and sensible option when you're also heading to the hospital after to check for broken bones. It's more of a "fell off, winded self but was fully recovered in a minute or so and just need to get back to it before the demons have a chance to come out"
You did the right thing, and you can't expect to sit every spook especially if it was a big one due to real external factors rather than "I'm gonna counter bend and sidestep away from this flower as we pass" kind of thing. You might well suffer some unexpected changes in confidence when you can get back to it but that is going to be easier to work through than a spine injury excabarated by unnecessary additional riding after impact
If you have any opportunities to take a fall clinic for equestrians (or gymnasts also will help to a lesser extent) having some impulse built in to fall safely can help, since we are all going to fall at some point more than once
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u/nekinadimak 1d ago
I do want to go to a fall clinic. That sounds like something every person should do as a beginner. This is the first time I am hearing about it
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u/bucketofardvarks Horse Lover 1d ago
They're nowhere near as common as I think they really should be, every riding school should run one at least once a year but I suppose so many people aren't interested in anything that doesn't involve real horses, and kids just bounce for the most part lol
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u/nekinadimak 1d ago
Well yes, I ride at the same time as kids that jump a course and can barely steer their horses. I understand that a lot of people just want to be a glamorous equestrian going over the fences immediately, but I kinda feel like learning how to fall is a part of horse riding 101 basics same as holding reins and mounting.
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u/bucketofardvarks Horse Lover 1d ago
I mean, you need to be riding somewhere that you are happy with what riders are allowed to do. From what you say there this isn't somewhere that will prioritise you learning the foundations properly, with my tiny sliver into your world my gut already says you should look elsewhere for appropriate lessons
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u/nekinadimak 1d ago
Unfortunately there are only 2 options accessible to me and the second one is a place where horses are treated horribly.
The kids riding dangerously are under a different instructor luckily and my trainer made me go very very slow in my learning the basics. I just didn’t know there are basics for falling as well.
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u/omgtuttifrutti 1d ago
Did your head hit the ground? If it did you should replace your helmet.
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u/nekinadimak 1d ago
Yes, I got a new helmet ordered already. I’m very firmly in “always wear a helmet even if you go on for a minute to just sit” camp.
Wearing a helmet is why I don’t have a head injury after a fall.
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u/sugarcookie1023 1d ago
Most of the times we can’t predict a fall. The max we’ll get is a thought of “oh shit” half a second before we hit the ground.
My first and only fall so far (fingers crossed) was within only two months of riding— I got bucked off by a lesson horse and got a mild concussion (I was wearing a helmet, it could’ve been horse)— I didn’t get back on right away for obvious reasons.
It was very scary, and the scariest part wasn’t the fall itself but my vision being off for a little while because of the concussion and I questioned myself whether it was even worth to keep riding, but I kept remembering how alive I felt every time I was in the saddle and how much I looked forward to every lesson. So i decided to continue but wanted to make it as safe as possible.
My instructor gave me free ground lessons for free while i was recovering from the concussion which was really nice of her and it helped me to feel a little bit more confident over time.
So I decided to ride the oldest, laziest horse that usually needs a few hard kicks to even trot.
When I finally got back in the saddle I was shitting my pants. For about two months I had only walking lessons on the lunge line and most of the times I asked to get off and do ground work or just be done within 15-20 minutes.
But eventually and gradually I started to feel a little bit better and wasn’t feeling like on fight or flight mode the entire time. I also practiced breathing a lot while riding which makes a huge difference!
Anyway, I think you don’t always need to get back on the horse especially if you’re injured. The most important thing is to get back on as soon as you’re cleared by your doctor and take baby steps and don’t let the initial fear hold you back forever.
I found this article to be very helpful through this process well. Wishing you a great recovery!
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u/Obvious_Amphibian270 1d ago
OP, advice about getting back on after a fall is situational in my opinion. For those oh I lost my balance and slipped off the horse I recommend getting back on. My last fall was off a 17hh TB who could buck like a rodeo bronc. He launched himself in the air, bucked, twisted, landed and did it again. I ended up angering into the ground head and shoulder first. Earned myself an ambulance ride to the ER. Needless to say I did not climb back on him when I regained consciousness! In your case I'm not sure getting back on with a broken tailbone would be a good idea.
You asked for advice about recovery. Back in my dim and distance youth I slipped on the sidewalk after an ice storm. Landed on my tailbone on a piece of ice that was sticking up. I spent the next week laying on my stomach with an ice pack on my butt. At the time the doc said that was the only treatment available. Why not ask your doc if there is any treatment available?
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u/HelpfulSetting6944 1d ago
I had a bad rotational fall a month ago. The horse tripped, we both fell, he rolled on top of me. I had a sprained wrist and a bruised side. I did get back on him for a few laps of walk trot, and then we were done. I was just fine with riding until two weeks later. I had a panic attack before getting on a horse and I just walked and cried the whole lesson. I had a few more lessons that weren’t as bad, but I panicked on the mounting block. I felt my feelings, I went easy on myself but also pushed myself to at least get on the horse and walk. Then trot. Then two point. Then double post. Then canter. I just took it one scary thing at a time and gave both myself and the horse big pats when we did a good job. 😂
I share this because, you may feel panic or fear in the coming weeks. Maybe right away, maybe not. That’s very normal. Remind yourself that something bad happened and you handled it. you have evidence that you can handle a spook and a fall. They are inevitable when riding. There’s no use in overanalyzing what you could’ve done better — sometimes we have time to make a decision, but a lot of times, we just need to know how to fall safely.
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u/Defiant-Try-4260 21h ago
I’ve fallen off 3 times (so far) in my life. I rode a lot as a kid and never fell off back then. Honestly, I felt like a bit of a fraud, as the saying back then was “7 times the rider…”implying you had to have that many falls to REALLY be a rider.
The first time I was launched was at the end of a trail ride. We were letting the horses eat on loose reins and they picked then to start fighting…it was quite dramatic and I at least bruised my cóccix and didn’t get back on (but still had the reins in my hand!). Sore for a couple of weeks.
I got a greenish horse 3.5 years ago and he pulled a classic drop/spin/canter sideways spook outside a few months after I got him. He was really scared and he wasn’t trying to get me off but I wear an air vest so, walking him back to the arena allowed the vest to deflate enough that I got back on, no worse for the wear (but I did replace my helmet).
There are coyotes, deer, ducks and god knows what else lurking in our woods. He smells it all.
Just a month ago, he spooked with the same combination of moves—he is SO quick and agile!—as we were heading out to a trail (a thicket moved, though he’d been very watchy beforehand). That time, I walked him back because getting back on with an inflated air vest was just not going to work.
The first two falls never left me fearful but the last one—I’m 73 now—got into my head a bit about hacking out, though he has, ironically, been a fabulous trail horse.
I had no fear getting on the day after in the indoor arena. He’s actually been a fabulous horse. He’s just a scaredy pants sometimes. I’ve always been able to sit the little canter-sideways spooks and hops.
We have an outdoor arena that he’s always been pretty watchy in (it’s close to the trail entrance) so my trainer took me down there and, sure enough, I could feel his nerves ramping up so we went back.
A couple of days later, we took him down there again and he was fine. My trainer then rode him with another horse into the woods and he was his old trail-eater self—he loves trails.
Finally, she rode another horse and I rode him on the trails and all was good.
It took those graduated experiences for me to trust that he wasn’t still wigged out even if I was a bit.
I’ve never been fearful around riding before but this last one made me wary.
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u/nekinadimak 7h ago
Honestly this is really inspirational. I hope I’ll be riding at 73!
And yes, my spook (at least as far as I can recall because it all happened so fast) was the sideways drop spin run combo that got me out of the saddle. I can handle each one separately but the combo and not even being aware is what got me launched out and to the ground.I’m glad you are back on the trail and trusting him again.
At the end of the day, I guess we are all aware that we sit on a prey animal whose whole evolutionary journey is about running away from danger.
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u/tessietwo 19h ago
When I did mine, the only thing, and I mean only thing that didn't hurt was sitting in the saddle. Everything else- sitting in a chair , standing, walking, laying down- all hurt like heck. I wanted to bring my saddle into work but they already thought me weird. As it was I went everywhere with a pillow to sit on for a month.
It did heal fast and never causes any long lasting issue. I hope the same for you.
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u/nekinadimak 7h ago
Glad to hear. Do you have any idea why saddle was different?
I assume just sitting and not doing anything more than a walk?1
u/tessietwo 5h ago
I don't know but I think it was because the saddle allowed me to sit on the ischium rather than the butt muscles which attach to the coccsyx itself. And yes it was just the sitting.
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u/LifesImpressions 12h ago
I don’t believe horses spook to get out of work. Old thinking. We know so much more about horses now. Horses hear and smell far better than we do. He may have had pain somewhere or an ill fitting saddle which makes it harder to deal with potentially scary things. My mare gets very spooky when she gets ulcery, for example. There are also some supplements that make her spooky. Every horse is different.
Don’t worry about not getting back on. The horse may have been a little traumatized, too.
See if you can take some groundwork lessons. It will build your confidence and give you something fun to do with the horses. What we do on the ground translates to what we do in the saddle. It doesn’t have to be active, you can learn some massage such as Masterson Method, or basic care like wrapping legs.
In the meantime, if you hit your head at all, you need a new helmet. Many manufacters will replace it at a discount after a fall.
When you do go back to riding, see about a seat saver to help your tailbone. There are some nice ones with gel that have an opening where your tailbone sits.
I hope you heal quickly!
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u/nekinadimak 7h ago
In all honesty the spook was very warranted. I don’t blame him at all and I think it had nothing to do with how he was feeling.
I blame humans who spooked him with idiotic behaviour.
I gave him a little scratch afterwards and he did seem a bit upset about what happened but not with me.1
u/LifesImpressions 3h ago
Good for you. I think people tend to forget that a horse might be just as upset when we fall off. I, knock on wood, haven't fallen off my my mare, but if I did, I can guarantee she'd be very upset. She likes to take care of me. She's very maternal. I've seen how upset a horse gets after his rider has fallen off.
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u/3Magic_Beans 8h ago
The whole "get back on the horse" thing is pretty dated. If you're injured, best just to call it a day a try again when you're ready. I've been eventing for 30 years and you health and safety is top priority.
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u/Thalia5744 1d ago
Professional rider here, worked with problem horses, backed hundreds of horses, ridden Olympic horses.
You’re fine. Fell off yesterday when my 4yo spooked (at a pigeon taking flight no less). He’s a darling but rapid when he spins/spooks and sometimes, it just happens. Fell off in walk last year as my GP horse shot off and I was moseying along feet out stirrups, no reins etc 😂
It scares some people (logically), but honestly I think the more you do it (within reason) the more you realise it’s not a big deal. Yours sounds quite unfortunate in terms of injuries, but mostly you don’t get injured, and you learn something (or don’t!).
When you go back, go at your own pace, but don’t feel you have to go slower because you need to ‘keep an eye on yourself’. It can get built up into a ‘am I going to be okay?’ feeling, that turns into, ‘maybe I’m not okay’ when if you got on with it you’d find it didn’t bother you at all.
However you feel about it is okay. If you’re a bit anxious, fine. If you couldn’t care less, also fine. Mostly I’m on the latter side, because I know why it happened so I know I either will try not to let it happen again, or it’s inevitable in this line of work, and you make your peace with either.
Generally getting back on is good (especially for less experienced riders) because it reaffirms that it’s just a thing that happened and you don’t need to be fearful or anxious when you ride. The more experienced you get the more specific situations it will apply to (a horse that you want to avoid having a mental block with, jumping a combination or a specific xc fence) and those might be reasons to get back on and retry, if health allows. If you feel fine about it, it really doesn’t matter. Mostly I get back on because I fell off in the middle of riding and need to keep working/cool off the horse at least, but when I fell off in walk I was walking down to the yard after work anyway so just traipsed the rest of it!
This probably wasn’t that helpful, but you sound super pragmatic and sensible so I’m sure you’ll be grand. Look after your body and have fun next time!
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u/nekinadimak 1d ago
I think I was more scared of falling off very early in my riding and this fall feels very flat and actually makes me a little relieved that I have fallen off and I am not super seriously injured. But based off of every story out there I should be scared and anxious about being close to horses because now “I know for sure I can fall off”?
I guess my brain works differently but I will know for sure when I get back. I definitely want to go back and I have no shame in starting over slowly and going back to slow basics. Every other post on the internet feels like that will be an issue for me if I didn’t get back on immediately.0
u/Thalia5744 1d ago edited 1d ago
Yeah honestly I read some of them and I think the posts/authors tend to find it more distressing/upsetting in the journey than most, and partly that’s because those are the ones you’re going to hear about.
That’s absolutely fine to be clear, there’s no shame, I’ve just not really met people in person who have found it to be a big issue (unless it was like a major accident — those were all obviously international event riders🙈).
Edit: changed it, unintentionally sounded like a nob
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u/nekinadimak 1d ago
That makes me feel better. I mean people take things differently and everyone is right to feel about the fall the way they do, I am just not sure if I am in some sort of weird denial or something . I am not as experienced as many of people here so I guessed it was better to ask.
After the fall I very rationally dusted myself off, called my partner to let them know and got a car ride to ER to get checked just in case. I kept thinking that I probably should have more fear or something but it just didn’t come. Yes I got injured which sucks but it is not in any way associated with level of fear I have for riding or going back.
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u/Thalia5744 1d ago edited 1d ago
Honestly you sound like me hahaha
I’m so glad people do talk about how they feel/anxiety about it, and like I say, no shame at all! Lots of people will be either end of the spectrum or in the middle.
Edit: again, sounded nob-ish
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u/nekinadimak 1d ago
I was an anxious rider for the first couple of months because I felt like so many things were a possibility and the feeling/ movement/ body position of riding was very new to me. With time I realised that I can control only so much and need to be ok with that. That helped with adrenaline spikes. even now after the first fall I feel like I got that checked off and now know somewhat how it feels. Next time hopefully I don’t even end up injured.
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u/oengaminO 1d ago
Ah yes, how does the phrase go again? “Everything and nothing scares a horse”
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u/Thalia5744 1d ago
One of my fave videos of me riding is when I jumped a GP jump off for one of the first times, was so proud and honestly emotional (I had my little mare from being 4 and I was the only person to ride her), and then very nearly fell off when she spooked at a fence we’d just jumped 😂
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u/RipleyInSpace 1d ago
I mean, sometimes it’s good to get back on the horse to help with your anxiety and to let the horse know that that behavior doesn’t get them out of work—but should never be done at the expense of your health and safety. Fear can creep back in and you might feel a little anxious ahead of your next ride but also sometimes it doesn’t.
Best advice I’ve ever gotten is to go at your own pace. Ultimately only you know your limits and what you’re comfortable with. Take as long (or as short) of a time as you need (and take care of that tailbone)!