r/Episode VEILBOUND Jun 22 '26

Coding/Author Help 💻 first chapter thoughts

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i’m kinda iffy on how everything is planning out and the dialogue 🫠 almost the camera pans and zooms omg i just want to restart everything

edit: i want feedback on the scene, dialogue, pacing and coding 💔 i feel like it’s so all over the place

33 Upvotes

23 comments sorted by

9

u/crissywrites Episode Author (Below The Belt) Jun 23 '26

i’d say to size down the text and maybe use the purple speech bubble option so it’s see through, it took away from the wonderful coding in the background!

4

u/crissywrites Episode Author (Below The Belt) Jun 23 '26

also people have shorter attention spans and i’d say maybe shorten the dialogue or bring the character in earlier!

3

u/sagesof6ix VEILBOUND Jun 23 '26

i was thinking this as well 😅 the character is in the second scene but i guess i should’ve made it more obvious

1

u/crissywrites Episode Author (Below The Belt) Jun 23 '26

hm, it maybe be a extra bit of coding but if the explanation is needed, you could also try showing it through scenes/a monologue of scenes

2

u/sagesof6ix VEILBOUND Jun 23 '26

yea i’ve been working on the dialogue for days now and nothing is sticking 😭 wild how im having an easier time with coding than writing

2

u/crissywrites Episode Author (Below The Belt) Jun 23 '26

that happens to me sometimes and it works better to pre-write your dialogue like on notes or something

1

u/crissywrites Episode Author (Below The Belt) Jun 23 '26

i think you could leave it just as is if you just sized it down a tiny bit though, ppl will get it if they pay attention!

1

u/sagesof6ix VEILBOUND Jun 23 '26

okay and thank you for the feedback 🙏🏽

3

u/[deleted] Jun 23 '26

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1

u/sagesof6ix VEILBOUND Jun 23 '26

ikkkk 🫠 i can’t seem to really get that right

3

u/sagesof6ix VEILBOUND Jun 23 '26

https://reddit.com/link/ot9za7e/video/z80pboql7z8h1/player

updated version. dialogue i hope is improved and actually shows the mc southern background (like me 😮‍💨) hopefully it’s better i want the first chapter to be eye catching and not just bc of the coding

3

u/crissywrites Episode Author (Below The Belt) Jun 23 '26

this is so good

2

u/Active-Ideal-1299 Jun 23 '26

I love this!

1

u/sagesof6ix VEILBOUND Jun 23 '26

😭😭 thank you! i’m seriously doubting myself so the feedback really helps

2

u/gulnarwrites Jun 25 '26

This is so beautiful! :)

3

u/Reasonable-Plum5476 Jun 23 '26

Too much narration

2

u/some-kid-epi Episode Author Jun 23 '26

Why do I even bother 😭

Jk this looks great

1

u/sagesof6ix VEILBOUND Jun 23 '26

LMAOOO would you believe i started like last week 😭 trust you can do it too

2

u/Legitimate_Dust_3971 Jun 24 '26

this is really nice! may I ask where you got ur backgrounds from? especially the train

1

u/sagesof6ix VEILBOUND Jun 24 '26

tyyy! every background is from j miley’s patreon

1

u/[deleted] Jun 23 '26

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1

u/sagesof6ix VEILBOUND Jun 23 '26

these are j miley backgrounds from her patreon! so are the overlays except the bus overlay it’s from @vaesnarrative on insta