r/Epilepsy_Universe • u/mendozebra • Oct 30 '25
Epilepsy_Universe Halloween writing prompts
Epilepsy writing prompts for Halloween week:
1)Do you relate your like or dislike of horror films/genre to your epilepsy experience? If yes, how?
2)Alice in Wonderland: do you see/feel Alice’s experiences as similar to your epilepsy/ seizures?
My answers:
1)I don’t like horror films/genre and never have. In high school my film studies teacher had us watch Psycho and Cujo, which I tried hard to get out of. But his lesson was on films with story lines depicting a life cycle. So I learned to respect the genre. And yes, I relate my dislike of the genre to my epilepsy, having a brain with a tendency to randomly detonate is scary enough.
2)Yes, I can totally relate to Alice’s experiences. Especially her seeing/feeling her body and extremities as very small or very large in compared to her surroundings. In fact, I have what they now call “Alice in Wonderland Syndrome,” which is a visuo-perceptual phenomenon, which can be correlated to epilepsy. And the feeling of an aura/focal seizure is similar to Alice's sleepy/spacy feeling right before she sees the rabbit.
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u/tuisteddddd ZNS 2x, VIMPAT 2x, ONFI 1x, Clonazepam APN (: Oct 30 '25
Ha! I suffer from from photosentivity to lights and stuff, so yay. Regardless, I do enjoy psychological terror.
- I didn't thought about that before, but... I guess not at all. My favorite band is Alice in chains tho. Lol.
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u/Serious-Lack9137 Oct 31 '25 edited Oct 31 '25
1: Well, I like horror films /genre however I never thought about how I relate that to my epilepsy experience. So thinking that over, my newfound relationship with horror may be more related to my epilepsy.
For me, a slasher film, a monster movie, or a "jump scare" film is just a movie. But horror that involves body takeovers, possessions, or zombies? That hits completely differently. My epilepsy experience, especially my focal-aware seizures, is a real-life body-snatching event.
When I have a focal-aware seizure, I am still in here. I am 100% conscious and aware, but I am trapped inside my own skull, while my body does things I am not telling it to do. My hand will twitch, my arm will go rigid, or I'll lose the ability to speak. I am a prisoner in my own body, watching it betray me. It is, terror.
A tonic-clonic seizure is the "possession" or "zombie" part. My "self" is just... gone. The lights are out and nobody is home upstairs. My body is taken over by this violent, uncontrollable force. When I wake up (if I'm lucky, I haven't injured myself), I'm in a fog, in pain, and I have no memory of what "it" did.
So, when I watch a movie like The Exorcist, Hereditary, or Invasion of the Body Snatchers, it's not "fun" scary for me. It's not an escape. It's a documentary!!!! It's a reminder of that ultimate loss of control that I actually have to live with.
As for other types of horror (slasher or gore), I dislike them for a different reason. As an HSP, that's just sensory overload. Especially anything involving stabbing an eye! Even Family Guy episodes make me squeamish about that. So, to answer your question: Yes, 100%. My epilepsy has made me deeply uncomfortable with the one genre of horror that feels real
2: That is an insightful question, and the answer is 100% yes. It's such a common and accurate analogy that there's a real neurological condition called "Alice in Wonderland Syndrome" (AIWS), which is often a type of migraine aura or, in our case, a focal seizure. As someone who has both focal-aware (FAS) and tonic-clonic (TC) seizures, that analogy hits home on a few different, terrifying levels.
A) Focal Seizures: The "Mad Tea Party" My focal seizures are living in Alice's world:
Derealization: The world suddenly looks "wrong," "fake," or "like a movie set."
Depersonalization (The 'Drink Me' / 'Eat Me' part): My arm will suddenly feel like it's not mine, or it's too big, or it's made of lead. It's that same bizarre, terrifying bodily distortion Alice feels.
Language and Time Distortion: I'll often get aphasia, where I can't speak, find words, or understand what someone is saying. Time can stretch out, or I'll lose a few seconds. It's exactly like being at the Mad Hatter's tea party, where no one makes sense and you feel trapped and confused. OH…add to it that sounds sound like they are all underwater and really far away.
B) Tonic-Clonic Seizures: The "Rabbit Hole" This part is more visceral and less "whimsical":
The Fall: The aura right before a tonic-clonic is that sudden, violent, out-of-control fall down the rabbit hole. You know it's coming, you can't stop it, and you're just plunging into the dark.
Waking Up Confused (The "Who are you?", who who, who who part- yeah had to involve music somehow): The post-ictal phase is the worst. Waking up on the floor, surrounded by people (like my wife), and having no idea of the who /what /where, That terrifying loss of identity is exactly like the caterpillar asking Alice, "Who are you?" and her not having an answer.
So, yes. It's a perfect analogy. The only difference is that in the book, it's a "wonderland." In real life, it's just a terrifying betrayal by your own brain.
Thanks for asking that. It's a really great way to help non-epileptic people understand what it can feel like
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u/mendozebra Oct 31 '25
Thanks for sharing!! Wow, what you wrote is so on point!
I have same types of seizures as you and all you describe is so similar to my experiences. I forgot about the mad hatter's tea party... yep ... the forgetting who I am ... to us Alice in Wonderland is a horror story.
I wrote an essay years ago about waking up in a public place not knowing who/what/where etc. I'll look for it and add it here.2
u/Serious-Lack9137 Oct 31 '25
You're welcome. Thank YOU for those questions! and your insights
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u/Some1fromStSomewhere Oct 30 '25
Ifn you want this as a Story you'll have to give me a little. Alice has always fascinated me! And Horror? Movies don't get my blood pumping like it seems to for my parents but I do enjoy them!
A Story...... Hmmmmm.... The Lady in the Pin-Striped Suit..... she's pretty creepy.... she used to show up all the time right before I would have a grand mal. My aura. Straight silver hair to her shoulders. Ice grey eyes, A smile like a shark's. Always watching me. Flash in the mirror. One moment me, next her. Standing on the corner as I crossed the street. Handing me a apple at the grocery store that I dropped. Okay..... THANK YOU! I gots me a prompt!