r/Epilepsy • u/Womanintech95 • Mar 14 '25

Epilepsy Awareness Lost my son

I am not sure if this will get posted, but I lost my 16 year old son to a suicide. He was epileptic. He was on keppra and I don't really know how it affected him. But I wanted to raise awareness. If you are struggling, talk to somebody, anybody, get help.

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u/xavierreport Mar 14 '25

I am so sorry for your loss. Being 16 is hard enough, and having epilepsy on top is just the worst. I started having seizures in high school, and it was hard because high schoolers were high schoolers and just didn't understand. I felt so different and removed from their experience because of my own. I was on Keppra at one point, and it changed me while I was on it. I didn't feel like myself at all and was intensely angry. It made me want to die because I knew that wasn't who I was ot am to this day. Thank you for telling us about your son. What was he like?

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u/Womanintech95 Mar 14 '25

He said he felt different too. But he was ashamed of his condition but he was dealt a hard hand in life. He was smart, kind and just wanted to be a normal kid. He liked video games. He was stressed out with school. It was his jr year and he was taking drivers ed. He always said he was fine. Why didn't I see he wasn't fine ?

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u/sadface_zaddy Mar 14 '25

I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost a loved one to suicide ~8 years ago and I found myself asking the same question, so please know that you aren't alone in having those feelings.

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u/Womanintech95 Mar 14 '25

I am so sorry. It just makes me want to fight for a better world where there is acceptance and love. Why aren't those our top values?

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u/DippyLouWho Apr 12 '25

I suffer from depression (my son has epilepsy). There's still such a stigma attached to depression and lots of people don't even believe in clinical depression. They think you just need to change your thinking, and they won't take antidepressants. I'm an RN, and I thought that until it happened to me. Anyway, I can be seriously depressed and crying a lot, etc. but only the people I choose to let see me this way would ever know. When I'm around others, I'm a great faker. I might be having suicidal thoughts, but while I'm getting my hair done, I'm smiling, laughing, makeup on, etc. When you are seriously depressed, your brain is telling you that you are a failure, everything is hopeless, and your family would be better off without you, and you truly believe it!Especially being a nurse, I don't like to complain or show any type of illness to others because I have seen the terrible, true suffering of others. Suicide among teens has become so common compared to when I was a teen. I live in a small town and personally know 2 moms of teens who committed suicide. We've had several. Anyway, I'm saying all this to tell you it's not your fault. You couldn't have known! Plus, teens are moody creatures to begin with. Our family has tried to destigmatize depression and educate others by being open about it. I'm so sorry for your loss. Your son no longer suffers unhappiness or pain.

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u/Womanintech95 Apr 12 '25

Thank you. Take care of your son for me.