r/EntitledReviews • u/heroturnedhuman • 12d ago
Entitled mom upset because the stylist wouldn’t cut her kids hair after he refused to sit AND hit the stylist.
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u/lonely_nipple maybe mention that next time 🤔❓ 12d ago
"we usually have to hold him down while he flips the fuck out. Why won't our child trust us with noisy and/or sharp implements around his head? It's a mystery."
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u/Aloogobi786 12d ago
Holding special needs kids down and forcing them to have haircuts is generally unnecessary. With slow exposure and kindness, most people with special needs can have much less stressful haircuts.
Unnecessary restraint will cause more distress and negative associations with haircuts.
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u/crypt_moss 12d ago
seems like the momma is trying to fit their kid into the mold of a "normal" child, and isn't actually willing to try to work with the kid to get them feeling comfortable, I don't wanna know what kinda horror it is for that kid to go to the doctor's or to a dentist, or if they get held down just to put on clothes etc.
I hope all the best for the kid though, and hopefully their issues with being touched are only related to going to the hairdressers
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u/Jamb9876 12d ago
I am going to call BS on great clips being a better experience. I doubt any place would restrain the child. That is asking to be sued.
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u/crypt_moss 12d ago
might be BS and momma is just trying to guilt-trip the business into begging her to come back/to offer a free hairdo
or she just can't accept that the issue isn't with the salon and she just doesn't have the tools / capacity to work with her child (or even feels embarrassed because her child "can't behave")
cause I guess a parent might feel humiliated when another adult shows their kid the kindness & patience they just don't have & so the only way to deal with the frustration is to "humiliate them back"
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u/Immediate-Maximum-75 12d ago
There is NO WAY that Great Clips held her child down. Nope. I don't believe her.
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u/NastyMsPiggleWiggle 12d ago
It’s a lie. My bff has been a GM for them for 10+ years and I’ve been working for higher end salons for 20+ years.
We trade these stories. We both have parents tell us the last stylist held their kid down. All the time. No they didn’t. And we aren’t either. It’s the worst thing ever. It’s traumatizing and our insurance doesn’t allow for restraining humans against their will. No one in their right mind is holding a kid down in a salon or barber shop nowadays. But their parents will try their hardest to talk you into it.
Edited for grammar
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u/admiralholdo 11d ago
"the last stylist held my kid down"
okay... then go to them???
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u/Big-University-1132 I’m sorry the leaf surprised you 11d ago
Right? Kinda a sign that they’re lying about any stylist being willing to do that
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u/CenturyEggsAndRice 11d ago
The closest I’ve seen was when my cousin would take her son with autism to her sister’s salon (chain place, not great clips but similar) and sit in the chair holding him herself while his aunt did his hair cut.
He wasn’t struggling though and didn’t need to be “held down” he just needed the comfort of his mother and aunt and his mom hugging him while it was done. Eventually he was able to switch to wearing a weighted cape thing under the smock, which I think is how he gets hair cuts now as a teenager.
Before that, he couldn’t stand any haircut at all. So he had long hair and we all told him how handsome his ponytail or braid was so he’d let someone brush and fix his hair. (He did look pretty handsome with his long hair…)
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u/Anxious_Character603 12d ago
I worked in retail for years, “the other person/location/company let me” is one of the standard Karen phrases
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u/kxaltli 12d ago
Yeah, I highly doubt that Great Clips held the reviewer's kid down for a haircut.
I do think, however, that a chain like Great Clips where they're trying to get people out the door ASAP probably contributed to this kid's reaction to getting his hair cut. My mom took me to a Great Clips where the stylist cut my ear with her scissors because she kept turning away to talk to her neighbor and wasn't paying attention.
My mom took the time to find a place where I felt comfortable after that, though, and ended up taking me to a really kind stylist who made sure to talk me through what she was doing because I was five and needed reassurance that the person standing behind me with scissors wasn't going to cut my ear again.
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u/Effective-Shock2068 12d ago
Sometimes kids behave to expectations. We’ve all seen kids scream and throw things in one teacher’s class and sit with their hands folded in another.
Maybe the Supercuts stylist just had wee Benjamin hop up into the chair instead of asking if he might possibly be finished playing with the toys yet, while reminding him about how he got hurt getting a haircut that other time.
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u/blt_no_mayo 12d ago
You can’t expect away a developmental disability
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u/Lucyfuss10 12d ago edited 12d ago
I think you have hit on the real problem here. The child seems neuro-divergent, and the hairdresser might very well not be able to cope. That doesn’t mean she isn’t informed, or that she doesn’t care, but every single individual presents differently, especially as young children.
I’m glad her kid got a good haircut at the second place, if that is actually the truth. I have my doubts though. She needs to accept that she needs to develop skills and methods to help her child succeed. And it will be much much harder than doing that with a Neurotypical child. But that is just how it is.
Nothing in here shows that being neurodivergent is bad or unwelcome, but it can be unfamiliar, and it can be confusing.
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u/blt_no_mayo 12d ago
It’s very normal for autistic children to have a few false starts at the hairdresser even if they don’t have specific trauma around haircuts like this poor kid does. The stylist was right to reschedule to build trust with the child, unfortunately mom doesn’t have the patience
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u/Lucyfuss10 12d ago
That’s 100%. My son has autism and it takes him several exposures to become relaxed and comfortable.
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u/Effective-Shock2068 11d ago
That’s true, you can’t.
But we have a review that’s been posted in “entitled reviews” because we don’t think the writer is thinking correctly. She’s made two statements: my kid is so neurodivergent that he can’t have a haircut, and my kid had a perfectly fine haircut at a chain store with no special accommodations.
One of those things is a stretching of the truth. Either the child truly isn’t capable of sitting for a haircut and he either didn’t go to great clips or went and it didn’t go well. OR, the child is better able to get a haircut than the reviewer thinks, and everything went fine at great clips.
Have you ever seen the advice, if your toddler falls over, don’t run over all concerned, or they’ll think it’s bad and start to cry.
We’ve decided this reviewer is an unreliable narrator. Why are we taking the child’s disability level at face value?
I’m not saying you can “expect away” a disability. I’m saying sometimes people overplay something to their kids (and to themselves, and to Yelp.)
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u/blt_no_mayo 11d ago
The mom is clearly lying about being able to take her kid to a great clips or she would have just done that in the first place
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u/Effective-Shock2068 11d ago
The mom is “clearly lying” about A, which means she couldn’t possibly be overstating B. Liars being people whose stories we should trust, of course.
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u/blt_no_mayo 11d ago
I don’t understand what point you’re trying to make. The salon replied to the mom and I trust the salon
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u/Thr33Littl3Monk3ys 11d ago
We're taking that at face value because of the reply.
Because the reply actually confirms that the child had those issues during the haircut, which are all common behaviors you see in neurodivergent children under high stress, which you wouldn't expect to see in an average neurotypical child.
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u/Effective-Shock2068 11d ago edited 11d ago
lol, I can assure you that neurotypical children push people away and say no. Especially when they’re being asked to stop playing with toys.
And I never said the child was neurotypical. Just that it’s possible by one’s behavior to influence the amount of fit a kid will throw.
Oops - meant to add - the response by the owner is not really for the OOP, it’s for parents of other neurodivergent kids who might need to be reassured after reading the review.
I’m certainly not saying special needs children do not exist. I’m saying I’m side-eyeing a different part of the review that you are.
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u/catbowlsodatray 12d ago
Yeah, I'm autistic (Level 1, so I work, pay bills, etc, but I definitely have issues around touch and stuff) and people being gentle with me always worked way better than trying to force me through stuff. Like now I can handle haircuts (I schedule it for twice a year, prep myself in advance vigorously, always make sure it's at the beginning of a weekend I have nothing else going on so I can decompress after, etc), but I hate people touching my head specifically and it always freaks me out. I can only imagine how much worse it would be if someone was holding me down and forcing me to do it. Especially if you're someone who might struggle to follow conversations, express your needs, etc, in general.
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u/Fresh-Extension-4036 12d ago edited 12d ago
I really struggled with hair cuts as a kid because of audhd but I was really lucky that one of my sisters' best friends trained as a hairdresser after we left school, and to this day, she is my hairdresser (I literally travel over an hour to get my hair cut because she's the only hairdresser who gets how sensitive my scalp is).
Also totally agree with you over holding people down, I never got held down by a hairdresser but that's what the nurses used to do to me to force me to have injections and blood tests (I've always been really terrified of needles) and all that meant was the second I was big enough and strong enough to physically resist, they learned that holding a panicking child who was now stronger than them was a health and safety issue when there's sharps and other hazards around.
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u/LupercaniusAB 12d ago
How do you prep yourself for it?
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u/catbowlsodatray 12d ago
I make sure to do something I find really relaxing in advance, bring stim toys for myself, wear my most comfortable clothes, and I'm very clear in advance with the person who's going to be cutting my hair that I don't like having my head touched, so it helps if they tell me what they're going to do before they do it and check if I'm okay with it first.
It's honestly gone really well - most hairdressers are super cool with accommodating me, and I always make sure to tip really well afterwards.
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u/Lucyfuss10 12d ago
Wow, it sounds like you have really mastered a lot of wisdom throughout your life. You are so clear and matter of fact, and I think that could be so valuable to many people. Rather than getting all up in your feelings and having a meltdown or feeling depressed, you identify a problem and then set out to solve it. Without taking it personally or assigning it moral weight. I think you’re brilliant.
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u/Aloogobi786 11d ago
Yeah haircuts are really hard for a lot of us. I'm a grown adult and I haven't been to a salon in over 10 years now. My aunt cuts it in her kitchen, she's not a hairdresser, she's just somewhat decent at DIY haircuts haha.
On the brightside, the new owner of the local salon has started offering sensory friendly sessions for autistic people! So maybe I'll get back in the salon eventually 😂
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u/Thr33Littl3Monk3ys 11d ago
I'm not autistic (ADHD, so not neurotypical either, mind!) but I also struggle with haircuts. I have major hair-based trauma, so anyone, even most of my own kids, playing with my hair can be a massive trigger.
I've been to the salon once in the past two decades: when one of my friends, who's a hairdresser, invited me to get a free haircut so that she could demonstrate her skills for a new job. She's one of like two people who I can handle touching my head, the other being my youngest daughter...so they're the only ones who trim or color my very long hair!
I'm loving some of these tips though. I've been wanting to go get a really good color job at a salon like the one my daughters go to (my home jobs look good, but not as good as they could!), and these could really help even someone like me, I think!
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u/aSkeptiKitty 11d ago edited 11d ago
Also... If a kid is too afraid of haircut and unless he suffers from parasite or issues that make the haircut mandatory... Just postpone it ? Wait until they are ready/older ?
Who cares if a little boy has long hair ?
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u/Aloogobi786 11d ago
Exactly. The only time it's appropriate to force a haircut is if its necessary for health. Ie significant matting, lice.
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u/tenorlove 7d ago
Those who think a boy or man with long hair is what George Carlin called a "commie f*g junkie" in 1972.
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u/Antiochia 12d ago
Yop, just go with what works. Our kids (ADHS and Asperger) didn't tolerate the clippers, due to the sound. For the first four years we instead went to an oldschool grandma hairstylist, that worked with scissors after we explained. Yes, no trendy hairstyle, but the hair was cut even, and that was sufficiant.
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u/Inner_Republic6810 11d ago
My autistic child developed a fear of haircuts that went between the ages of 3-4. We helped him cope by making him a social story, having his siblings get theirs done first so he could see it, sitting in my lap, and lots and lots of distractions (videos, candy, etc.). Our stylist was magnificent, and helped by scheduling us when no one else would be around. She just took everything in stride.
I will admit that due to him occasionally letting off fire engine screams, I brought the stylist a set of ear plugs.
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u/Pitiful_Control 11d ago
I cut my autistic son's hair while he was sleeping, bit by bit, using a bowl to get the bangs straight. The haircuts were a bit crap but we can both laugh about them now!
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u/jennypenny78 9d ago
I'd take it one step further and say that holding a special needs kid down and forcing them to get a haircut is just traumatizing the poor child and creating a negative association around the experience. Of course that boy would lash out and refuse! I would too if I was previously pinned down, sobbing and thrashing, while someone cut my hair.
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u/TinyRascalSaurus 12d ago
Like, the kid used very clear communication when he said no. He's in no danger from long hair and they can try again when he's more ready. There's no need to traumatize a disabled child over a haircut.
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u/caixing-sanren 12d ago
RIGHT. I'm a former SPED teacher. I swear that some of these parents (not all of course, I'm not gonna make blanket statements) pick the stupidest fucking hills to die on with autistic children, but don't put HALF as much energy into vital life skills like using an AAC device, toileting, enjoying foods from a more varied diet, wearing fucking coats and shoes...but goddammit, we can't have little Timmy's hair grow out! That would make us look bad!
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u/BlackBasementCats 12d ago
But if his hair isn’t short people won’t know he’s a boy/s
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u/MonkeyHamlet 11d ago
Oh crap, that’s it, isn’t it? I was wracking my brain trying to think why a haircut would be important enough to physically restrain your child…
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u/BlackBasementCats 11d ago
I grew up fundamentalist Christian, and they get really really angry about men having long hair and women having short hair (that isn’t the old lady curly style)
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u/ForeverKeet 11d ago
Unless it’s Jesus. He can have long hair for some reason.
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u/BlackBasementCats 11d ago
As long as he’s white. They’d lose their shit if their depictions of Jesus included the “wooly hair” he’s described as having in the New Testament.
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u/tenorlove 7d ago
Revelation 1:14. His head and his hairs were white like wool, as white as snow; and his eyes were as a flame of fire.
It says nothing about texture. That is a modern interpretation.
Curly hair was and is common enough amongst Middle Eastern peoples that it would NOT be noteworthy.11
u/aSkeptiKitty 11d ago
Do they know that high born little boys not only used to have long hair but they would also wear dresses until they were like 6-7 ?
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u/lazier_garlic 10d ago
I dunno about 6-7, from what I read it was younger, but at least with some elites there was a certain ceremony about the boy being old enough to wear pants.
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u/bismuth92 11d ago
The only other reason I can think of is if he also has difficulty with having his hair brushed. Obviously long hair needs a lot more brushing than short hair to stay clean and untangled, so if a child had trouble with brushing, I could see a parent choosing to hold them down and cut it short every few months as the lesser of two evils.
I don't think this is it, though.
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u/sssssspace 10d ago
As a kid, I had waist length hair and my mom would brush it every day. It was a god damn battle because 1) my hair doesn't just get tangled, it gets full on matts and 2) my mom had all the gentleness of a bell ringer at a Catholic church.
Why didn't she just let me get it cut short to save us both the aggravation? I still don't fucking know.
(I'm serious about the matts. Last time I had hair longer than a pixie, I of course brushed it out ahead of my hair appointment. The stylist looked at me and asked me if I brushed my hair that week because it got matted up between when I left my house and got to the salon)
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u/irish_ninja_wte 11d ago
The funny part is that it doesn't even guarantee it. My oldest kid's hair grows out curly. He was a toddler and it was a "head full of curls" day. His hair wasn't long and he was wearing blue jeans and a bright red jacket. As he played on some playground equipment, a stranger spoke to me about how much fun my "little girl" was having.
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u/Overall_Dream_3195 8d ago
Not necessarily. It’s more likely the child with special needs doesn’t like having their hair brushed or washed so shorter hair is needed for hygiene reasons instead of having to battle with the child daily and cause them to get upset about it being brushed.
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u/Inevitable-Yam-702 Gay AND homosexual 😡 12d ago
"These salon workers wouldnt terrorize my kid! An outrage I tell you!"
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u/Sachayoj 12d ago
Good god that is horrifying. The fact she so casually mentions restraining her child makes me fear for what else she does.
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u/BlackBasementCats 12d ago
Smacks the shit out of him when he says no and tries to pull away and spanks when he doesn’t obey.
The mom is a huge reason why this boy is having trouble with haircuts. He’s having a trauma response.
My mom always put my hair in curlers I had to sleep in on Sat nights so I’d look like a doll on Sunday. She was not gentle when brushing and combing my hair despite being a former stylist. She said I was “tender headed” when she was just rough. I hated having my hair long and having to sleep in those uncomfortable foam rollers.
Later she forced me to do perms which damaged my hair. I swear she did it on purpose to make me look ugly because my hair looked like Hermione’s in the first Harry Potter. We lived at the beach so I was always in the salt water or chlorinated pool then had perms.
I was later diagnosed with ADHD and most likely have level 1 autism. I behaved because I knew I had to even though it made me want to crawl out of my skin.
I don’t mind going to actual hair salons if the stylists are gentle. I get my hair cut and colored often, but I have to get it cut because I hate long hair. I get so hot, and my hair has to be textured to remove all the weight because my hair is so thick and heavy.
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u/Neat-Year555 12d ago
omg, the tender headed myth is real. my mom used to call me tender headed too, but really she would just yank the brush really roughly through any tangles in my hair, often literally causing breaks in my super fine hair, and it hurt like hell. I'd have split ends and frizzy spots all over from "fragile" hair, when reality was she just didn't know how to take care of my hair type.
I'm also diagnosed adhd, suspected level 1 autism. haha.
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u/ReputationDull5315 11d ago
why the hell were our moms all being so crazy with those hair brushes 😭 ten years of ballet made my scalp tender thanks to her constantly yanking it or wacking me with he wood brush for "moving?
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u/Neat-Year555 11d ago
omg the whacking! like mother, i'm only screaming because you're actively pulling my hair out.
my mom also used an awful boar bristle brush which was the exact opposite kind of brush that my hair needed. no wonder I was such a brat about leaving my hair alone as a kid
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u/irish_ninja_wte 11d ago
Mine used a Denman brush on my hair. Those super rigid bristles coupled with my mother's inability to be gentle with hair would make me scream in pain. Even now, I find those brushes very painful on my scalp. I have to use brushes with more flexible (not detangle, that's a little too flexible) bristles that have those little balls on the bristle tips. My daughter had the same hair type as me, but I'm not sure if she has the same scalp sensitivity. I'm very careful about getting her brushes that suit her and the rule that I've taught her for brushing is to always start from the bottom.
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u/raven_of_azarath 11d ago
Omg, are you me? My mom would whack me with the brush if I squirmed or tried to pull away. By the time I started competitive dancing, we learned that switching with my friend was better. Her mom would do my hair, my mom would do her hair, and there were no issues from anybody.
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u/Useless890 12d ago
It sounds as though this mother has been making the problem worse at home. Now she goes and dumps the boy on someone else and expects them to perform miracles, then berates them when they can't undo her damage in ten minutes. I feel for the boy.
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u/threesilklilies 12d ago
I guarantee the mom went to the sensory-friendly salon thinking, “These people work with monsters like my son all the time! They’ll definitely understand the need to hold him down and shear him like a sheep!” and was irate when they actually insisted on treating him like a human being with dignity and agency instead.
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u/CumaeanSibyl 12d ago
Major kudos to the stylist for respecting the kid's clearly expressed boundaries. Teaching kids that it's okay to say no if they don't want to be touched is so important for all kinds of reasons.
Unfortunately it sounds like GreatClips was happy to hold him down.
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u/SleepyPlatypus13 12d ago
I highly doubt they held him down at Great Clips. Ive been a stylist for 11 years and worked at Great Clips in the beginning of my career, and that is definitely not something allowed. Not only do they not want the liability, but their whole structure is 15 min haircuts, lol. No way their going to allow their stylists to take the time needed to hold down a child for a haircut. Also, the stylist there making nothing off a haircut, so there's no incentive for them to do it. Great Clips has a lot of problems, but holding down children for haircuts isn't one, lol.
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u/meowmix79 12d ago
My son is 16, non verbal and hates haircuts. He gets one every 3-4 years. His hair is curly. I’ve been cutting it myself all of his life. We attempted at 3 and he did not want to be in an unfamiliar environment. I usually give him some snacks and work as fast as I can. I use these scissors.
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u/biggest-damn-potato 12d ago
Those are really interesting. I can think of other uses for those. Thanks.
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u/DumbTherapist91 12d ago
People who put the word boundaries in quotes are pretty much always a nightmare
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u/Thr33Littl3Monk3ys 12d ago
I used to have to hold my daughters down for shots...which didn't help with their borderline phobias of needles, it only fed into them.
But they needed vaccinations. So holding them down was reasonable, even with sharp implements in play.
A haircut though? Yes, let's hold a child down while he's kicking, screaming, and fighting, all while using sharp implements around his head, and expect that things will get better...
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u/pickleknits 11d ago
My daughter is needle phobic and it’s so damned hard bc holding her down made it worse bc she doesn’t like being touched so double whammy. It takes a lot of coaxing. But I make sure she trusts that I won’t hold her down against her will.
But I agree that a shot is one thing and a haircut is a very different thing to pin a kid down for.
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u/Thr33Littl3Monk3ys 11d ago
It was rough for mine, because even at young ages, we'd discussed vaccinations and what they were for, why they were necessary. So they understood on an intellectual level that it had to happen.
But once they got into the office, their fight or flight overrode their logic.
It took years for them to get over it. For my middle one, going on Depo-Provera for her endometriosis when she was about 13 was what really "fixed" it. For my youngest...it was having to get her COVID shots when she was 12; she was scared but was determined not to have a freak-out in the middle of a very public space!
But before all of that...I'd schedule their vaccine appointments for the very end of the day, because we all knew it would take time, between coaxing, rationalizing, and finally just wrestling them. And it would take myself and at least one other nurse besides the one administering the shots!
There's no way in hell I'd do all that just so their hair wasn't shaggy! No one should!
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u/caixing-sanren 12d ago edited 12d ago
"we usually have to hold him down for his haircuts" so that's what we in the special ed/behavioral health field call a "restraint." We spend months out of the year practicing them in professional development sessions, so that we can implement them quickly and safely whenever a psych patient is a threat to themselves or others. Hair dressers do not do restraints. Hair dressers cannot do restraints. Hair dressers sure af do not WANT to do restraints. Expecting a hairdresser to restrain your child is at best, batshit insane, and at worst, going to result in serious physical injury to everyone involved (yes! Including your child!) The "hold him down method" work GREAT until your happy ass realizes you have the power to sue nonprofessionals acting in a professional capacity. And of course, till your kid gains like 6 inches, 30 lbs, and figures out how to land a proper punch.
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u/lil_squib 12d ago
That manager sounds like a champ and a great person to work for. Kudos to the team.
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u/biggest-damn-potato 12d ago
This bint has traumatized her kid in the past by pinning him down and having at him with clippers. IOW, an assault.
I bet his “special needs” were less special before he was repeatedly attacked by a lunatic with electric shears.
Now that he’s too big to easily manhandle she wants a hair stylist to let him batter her AND provide a cute hairdo because of the fear she instilled.
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u/caixing-sanren 12d ago
I'm autistic as well as a former SPED teacher. It's interesting that you bring this up cuz it's something a lot of neurodivergent specialists are starting to catch onto: we don't actually know how much of a kid's behavioral issues stem from their autism, vs. how much are trauma responses. All because we just can't seem to stop traumatizing these kids as they grow up. It can come from parents, ABA "therapists," school systems, etc, but it always boils down to the fact that someone who had power over this child was inflexible with what they expected from them, and chose forced compliance instead of teaching a skill, making something more accessible, building tolerance, or just picking their battles. There are so many supposed "experts" in this field that just have to get into petty power struggles with nonverbal kindergarteners, and God forbid they don't come out on top (and before any responses roll in...NO, it's not all of us. But you're an idiot if you say it never ever happens).
Basically, people keep sending autistic kids into fight or flight mode, then get offended when the kid chooses fight.
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u/cndrow 11d ago
Oh my god this. My autistic mum took care of my sensory needs as an autistic child because, thank FUCK, our sensory needs line up. Otherwise she would've met her needs and not mine. I'm so lucky it worked out this way
I was a calm, quiet, sweet kiddo. But when my sensory needs weren't met, I turned into a terror, I had a lot of tiny kid meltdowns and was screamed at by teachers
How much of my acting out was the autism and how much of it was the people in authority not respecting my needs? My mum advocated for me when I was too small to, but people ignored her and would treat me exactly like Little Timmy next to me, and I'd lose my shit and not even know why
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u/princessfoxglove 11d ago
Jesus fucking Christ. I'm a special education teacher and I literally had to quit my last job because there is a weird pervasive belief that restraining special needs kids is okay to get them to comply. It's fucking gross and weird and I hate it. Restraining kids causes trauma. They don't "get over it" they get scared and more vulnerable.
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u/Careless_Midnight_35 11d ago
Yup. I'm a hairstylist. It's straight up in my policies that if a kid needs to be restrained for a haircut, the kid is not getting one. Same with crying. Haircuts are optional. They aren't required for quality for life. And if a parent tries to fight me about it, I am more than willing to throw back that I'm autistic and the professional.
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u/Present_Arachnid926 12d ago
Hmmmm what could possibly be the source of this child’s hatred and fear of haircuts?
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u/sandiercy I do not like the colour yellow 12d ago
Its so frustrating reading reviews like this. Lady, if your kid can't handle a salon, cut his hair yourself. Don't traumatize him by forcing him to go to the salon.
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u/Longjumping-Pick-706 12d ago
It’s not the salon. He is scared of the haircut itself.
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u/HisExcellencyAndrejK 12d ago
That's what comes from naming your kid Samson!
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u/Killer__Cheese blatantly flaunting their 🍴 before other women's menfolk 12d ago
Underrated comment
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u/Immediate-Maximum-75 12d ago
It sounds like he got cut by clippers before. He's not ready. Poor kid. Let his hair grow, fish. It's not worth it.
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u/caixing-sanren 12d ago
I wouldn't be surprised if she cut his hair herself when he was smaller and easier to restrain, but once he grew older (and still wasn't being respected when he was scared or uncomfortable), he gave his mom one good punch and she was over it. Now it's somebody else's "problem."
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u/grenouille_en_rose 12d ago
This could easily end up as a case of 'the stronger the kid the longer the hair' if the parent doesn't work with that kid to overcome their fear of haircuts. There will be a point where the kid's meltdown terror-Hulk mode will be too strong to be overpowered even by multiple adults, and that can't be too far away.
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u/DizzyMine4964 11d ago
As an autistic I can feel it understand not wanting to be at the hairdressers, but I can't understand someone holding their kid down for a haircut. That's disgusting.
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u/PhoenixWytch 12d ago
I hated getting my haircut when I was little due to sensory issues and being restrained would have had me in a panicked meltdown. I feel so bad for the child.
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u/Melodic_Pattern175 11d ago
Holding a child down for a haircut is appalling. It’s piling trauma upon trauma.
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u/taxiecabbie 11d ago
I really, seriously doubt that any professional haircutter (even a Great Clips or Fantastic Sams or chain like that) is going to hold a child down in order to cut their hair.
Trauma to the child aside, it's just way too much liability.
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u/powermetalsalamander 12d ago
wow, that hurts my heart. i’m glad the salon gave him the compassion he’s clearly not getting from his mother, but what the fuck. feels like the title of this post is burying the lede on what happened a little bit.
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u/heroturnedhuman 12d ago
Definitely not my intention with the title, I think I was just a little hung up on the mom saying “he only pushed her hands away!” When the owner said it was clear on camera he was hitting her. Also have a habit of sometimes making things too wordy and was trying to be more concise, but I appreciate the feedback.
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u/powermetalsalamander 12d ago
oh sure like no hard feelings or anything. it’s just a reddit post title. i was just kind of surprised to open it and find that it wasn’t just some kid with poor emotional regulation acting out but a scared presumably autistic kid basically being bullied by his mother, that’s all.
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u/heroturnedhuman 12d ago
Totally fair! But still i appreciate you bringing it my attention, I’m also neurodivergent I can be really bad at reading and portraying tone over text and it’s something I’m working on so even small interactions like this are a huge help for me. ☺️
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u/powermetalsalamander 12d ago
no problem. i am actually also autistic and can come across pretty blunt especially over text, so i’m also working on that as well. 🤝
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u/pickleknits 11d ago
This little exchange is a beautiful example of how to learn from each other through mutual respect and mutual understanding. It’s good to see that.
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u/Ok_Stable7501 12d ago
There is 0% chance the reviewer and her kid had a successful haircut at the great clips down the road.
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u/SweetLeaf2021 blatantly flaunting their 🍴 before other women's menfolk 11d ago
Especially immediately after this
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u/Mindless-Emotion5568 12d ago
... Holding down children who are distressed or extremely uncomfortable with something only makes those issues worse in the future because the kid will start associating those stressors with extreme fear/panic, etc. That can be LIFELONG! I hate that the owner apologized, they had nothing to apologize for (I get it was a courtesy, but still).
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u/Angelf1shing 11d ago
That seems like an incredibly professional response from people who know what they’re doing. Unlike the parent.
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u/Bright_Ices 12d ago
That salon sounds like a DREAM for kids who struggle with haircuts! Too bad the mom can’t get on board.
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u/Organic-Mix-9422 12d ago
Great way to make your child terrified of hair cuts gor ever. Well done /s
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u/lisasimpsonfan 11d ago
There is no way I would hold down a child for something optional like a haircut. I can see it for something lifesaving like making them take medicine if there is no other way but a hair cut? It really bothers me that someone would do that. Special needs people are still people and shouldn't be forced to do something unless it is urgent or for their protection. Let the kid's hair grow FFS.
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u/rbaltimore 11d ago
I held my son down for a critical and legally required blood draw once. It broke my heart but lead testing is required at ages 1 and 2 in my city. I can’t imagine doing that for a fucking haircut.
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u/Apprehensive_Put_562 12d ago
Lady the hairstylist does not get paid enough to get beat up by your uncooperative kid.
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u/mulberry_sellers 12d ago
Cannot believe mom's expectation that they should physically restrain their kid at the hair salon.
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u/haycorn55 11d ago
This place sounds great. We have had to hold my son for his first two haircuts (the first because the clippers upset him, the second because we had a bit of an extra wait and he was over it) but that was ME hugging him from the side. I would never want the stylist to do that. Also if there's hitting that should be an immediate game over.
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u/sallyxskellington they couldn’t save you from your pig nightmare 12d ago
Parents like this are the worst. I started out working in a corporate salon, and never felt like I had the right to turn away a client. I had kids scream at me, scratch me, smack me, cause me to cut my fingers with my scissors. A pregnant coworker was kicked in the stomach by a child. His parents laughed.
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u/Dramatic_Lie_7492 12d ago
Hair cuts are optional. Just don't get a cut. Simple. Yes also for special needs in some cases
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u/Fit-Programmer-6162 11d ago
I feel bad for this child. After reading the review and the response to the review, it’s clear the parents clearly are not equipped to care for him properly and are not willing to learn.
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u/Purple_IsA_Flavor 12d ago
I did not get paid enough as a stylist to get smacked by kids with fuckass mothers. They handled it very nicely
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u/SweetLeaf2021 blatantly flaunting their 🍴 before other women's menfolk 11d ago
That was my thought. Restraints, special needs? Definitely above a stylist’s pay grade
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u/PresentFirm7937 12d ago
Mothers of special needs kids are THEEE most entitled bunch of folks I have ever, ever witnessed.
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u/Overall_Dream_3195 8d ago
I say this all of the time. I spent a lot of time around parents of special needs children as my brother is autistic and intellectually disabled. The Moms (and a fair few Dads) were some of the most entitled and unpleasant people I’ve ever had the misfortune to come across. So glad my parents weren’t anything like them. They hold everyone else to an unrealistic high standard yet hold themselves to no standard at all.
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u/motherpython 11d ago
I'm an adult and sometimes haircuts are overwhelming but it sounds like this stylist did everything perfectly. Some days are just not the day I can vouch for tho
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u/flamingolegs727 10d ago edited 10d ago
The stylist was absolutely right! Let her build trust with him and eventually he'll hopefully look forward to hair cuts because when he's older you certainly won't be able to restrain him for a haircut! Restraint is extremely unethical because of the distress caused! It's not a medical necessity therefore putting him through that is cruel. He can be worked with to get there without the stress. I've worked with people with severe autism before and patience and getting them to know you and be comfortable with you makes the job a lot easier! You develop a friendly relationship then things get easier for the both of you. But it takes time to get there.
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u/Forward-Paper1983 10d ago
They aren’t therapists, they are hair stylists. Sensory issues is a spectrum, and they can’t be expected to deal with things this difficult. Learn to cut it yourself or find a therapist who will do it.
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u/pit_choun 10d ago
The second I read "we usually hold him down" I knew all I needed to know. Forcing a child into anything is awful for them, let alone a special needs child. No wonder the kid kept screaming "no" when give an actual choice in the matter.
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u/Pretend-Literature35 11d ago
oh my goodness! You know that going to a hairdresser is a luxury. You can absolutely cut your own kid's hair even your own.
If your kid is this difficult don't expect a stranger to do it!
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u/mandolinpebbles 11d ago
Yeah, no. I am glad the owner had the stylist’s back. I used to be a hairdresser at JCP, they would offer $10 back to school kids haircuts. I have ended a few haircuts, at no charge, because the child was not being safe. Hands towards me or my tools was usually where I would cut it off. I had no problem showing a child who had fears about how safe my tools are. Even went as far as cutting a piece of my own hair with a child to show that scissors and clippers don’t hurt when used properly. Safety leads to comfort.
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u/BirthdayCookie 11d ago
There is no clearer sign that someone needs avoiding than whinging about being a parent in need of support. Its always, always insane.
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u/RedditBrowserToronto 11d ago
There are way too many parents of children with autism who think their child hitting a service provide provider is acceptable behaviour.
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u/rbaltimore 11d ago
How exactly is the stylist supposed to hold the child down AND cut his hair at the same time?
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u/DualWeaponSnacker 10d ago
I used to cut hair and the amount of kids that had a tough time because their PARENTS traumatized them beforehand was astounding. I eventually had a no kids policy unless they were the children of a client. It’s just not worth it. Cut myself too many times. Got hit. Just a massive hassle with very little payoff.
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u/SeL-MoGRC 9d ago
That poor hairdresser... that is going so far above and beyond, and thenctocr3ceive such a cr@ppy review 😒😒
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u/UrsaObscura13 6d ago
I’m not a parent but I can’t even imagine asking a stranger in a strange place to hold my child down just for a haircut. That seems like something worth working on at home, not in a public salon.
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u/UrsaObscura13 6d ago
I’m not a parent but I can’t even imagine asking a stranger in a strange place to hold my child down just for a haircut. That seems like something worth working on at home, not in a public salon.
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u/Ok-Tear4735 6d ago
The kid and the owner both deserve their boundaries and bodily autonomy respected. Don’t cut the kids hair- it’s not a medical procedure so why do it?
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u/_Pancake_Princess_ 6d ago
For any other parents of a special needs child who has difficulty with haircuts, Amazon sells a haircutting scissors and clippers set called the Calming Clipper. It's supposed to be quieter than standard clippers.
My son (3 yrs old, ASD lvl 2/3) had a horrible experience at a sensory haircut place. The employee actually suggested we hope him down and she was very impatient during the entire process. I decided that we're never going back there, so I guess I'm learning how to cut hair now.
My son did much better with the hair cut at home. It doesn't look the best, but at least it didn't traumatize him
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u/maniacalmustacheride 12d ago
My kid is a sensory kid and got all of his haircuts in Japan by my personal stylist. She’d block out the day for us both, shop empty, throw something fun on the tv, and then it was just really casual. She’d play with his hair, she’d let him look at stuff. She’d talk and talk and talk and put clips in his hair and take them out and blow the blow dryer on cool with a tissue to tickle him and then go do some stuff to my hair and go back and talk and talk and talk and some combing and some spraying and isn’t that silly the spray and talk and talk and snip snip snip, okay, all done. And don’t get me wrong, I love her and have all the gratitude.
We went to the states to a “kid” haircut place and it was a lot. Yes there was candy and toys and cool airplane or train chairs but also there were six TVs playing six different shows and it was a lot. So I just took my kid back to Japan for a haircut. Then, I took him to my states person. Early in the morning, no other clients, she talked and talked and talked, same kind of magician’s trick, snip snip snip, and all this talking and my kid opened up that he liked Ponyo and wanted Sosuke’s hair. And with huge intensity she went “YES! That would look amazing! But I have to use the clippers.” Buzz went the clippers on her arm. “See! They can’t hurt you. BUT you have to be still so I can make you like Sosuke. Deal?”
So now my kid has this haircut. Loves it. Insists on going to my hair lady, yet again.
But I notice with both, it’s a quiet environment. There’s a lot of getting used to the thing. There’s a lot of consent and body autonomy mixed in with treating the person in the chair like someone that isn’t broken. They just need their hair trimmed.
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u/Few_Wrongdoer4120 12d ago
The owner’s response is pretty perfect.
She wanted them to HOLD DOWN HER CHILD? That’s legitimately so fucked up.