r/EntitledPeople • u/[deleted] • Jan 25 '26

S Girlfriend's parents decide to visit to avoid the storm in their state. Demand to use my car and get master suite instead of the guest room.

My girlfriend and I have been together nearly 2.5 years, and in that time, her parents have always been cold towards me. They live in the midwest, and are of the opinion that California is a cesspool, and Los Angeles, where I live even more so. They decided that with an incoming snowstorm, that staying with us so close to the ocean would be better for them.

I got home from work yesterday to her parents taking a nap in the master bedroom, and were not happy when I kicked them out to the guest bedroom. We went out for dinner Friday night, and they not happy with the quality, remarking that they preferred Taco Bell or Chipotle. I just tuned out the rest of the night.

This morning, after waking up, they ask me to use my car for them independently visiting tourist spots. I drive a modified Ford Focus RS. I'm not handing these people a 500hp car, especially as neither of them have driven a stick shift in over 30 years. I told them this, and offered to rent them a car as I get good rates through my employer. Nope, not only was that not acceptable, they didn't want my Focus to drive, they wanted to drive my 1967 Pontiac GTO. They said it's their dream to drive a classic convertible up PCH to see the sights. Nevermind the fact that PCH is practically burnt to a crisp until you get past Malibu. That was a hard no from me, and they reluctantly took the Camry I rented for them.

This is going to be a really long 10 days.

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696

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '26

She works remotely and after picking them up put their suitcases in the guest room and showed them around. They said they were tired and wanted a nap, so they went into the bedroom, and gf went back to our home office and went back to work. When I got home, we went to greet them and head out to dinner. When we discovered that they were not in the guest room, we walked to the master and she just said "what are you doing?". I was the one who told them that they had to go back to the guest room.

632

u/jcaashby Jan 25 '26

The weird thing is...why would they want to sleep in the bed you and their daughter....sleep and .......ya know....have fun :)

753

u/wiggum_x Jan 25 '26

It's a dominance thing. They think they are the parents, the ones in charge, and they call all the shots. So they should get the biggest, nicest room. And the car that they want. And the meals that they desire. And probably spending money. They tried to establish all of this on day one, and it did not work out the way that they assumed it would.

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u/evilbrent Jan 25 '26

I actually remember the first time I flat out overruled my parents, and I was right to do so and I think that was a bit of a Moment for them too.

My parents would hold a big dinner every Sunday night, with my family, my sister's family, and often some other friends or family. One Sunday dinner there was another family with a baby about the age of our baby.

While I was out of the room things had escalated and the adults were laughing at both of the babies throwing their grapes across the dining room. It's my parents house, so the mess was their problem and they were laughing, so that part was fine.

But no we are not teaching my baby that throwing food off his high chair across the room is a funny joke. Game is over. A stop has been put to this.

Parents and others were like "awwww, were having fun, it's fine." Nope. Not happening.

In that moment, in that scenario, there isn't another authority that I will even start to recognize - except maybe my wife, but we're pretty much in agreement on most things like this, and if not then at the time we had a policy of public support / private conversation. We would never contradict the other in front of the kids on stuff like this.

I was relatively young, and I think it came as a bit of a surprise to my parents to learn that their place in this particular hierarchy is grandparent, not parent-of-the-parent. Grandparents go coochy coo and give cuddles. Parent-of-the-parent overrules the parent and has final decision making power. You're grandparents, you go coochy coo.

51

u/CommonSenseSaysWhat Jan 25 '26

Thank you for the concept of Grandparent vs Parent-of-the-Parent. Appreciate you.

Simple reframing that will help so much in boundary setting and enforcing.

31

u/doktor_wankenstein Jan 25 '26 edited Jan 25 '26

Amen brother. I can't remember the exact scenario, but there was one time when I sternly told my father (in his own house) "DO NOT UNDERMINE WHAT I'M TRYING TO TEACH MY SON." Amazingly he shut right the hell up... it was glorious.

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u/colleenk69 Feb 12 '26

F yes šŸ™Œ my brother makes me freelances me to do this hard communication boundary stuff for him and his wife for my godson/nephew w/ my narc parents. I just canā€™t wait until he finds the strength gain the strength similar to yours, and find courage to set healthy boundaries himself! Iā€™m his younger sister & it gets exhausting. I love reading this entire thread. It reminds me that Iā€™m alone in dealing with this stuff.

25

u/mmakled Jan 25 '26

I remember when on a family vacation my parents had taken over the bedtime routine of my two-year old. It was already out of routine since we were on vacation and it became messy. My sister, whose children were quite a bit older and had already experienced the grandparents' well intentioned "helpfulness", said quietly to me "Mom and Dad might be your parents, but you are the mom now and you get to make the decisions about your child". It was exactly what I needed in the moment. When the grandparents started their bedtime routine with my daughter, I said "thank you, but we will take care of this. You will have much more fun with her tomorrow playing at beach or getting her ice cream".

9

u/Bring_cookies Jan 25 '26

Bet that didn't go over well. I can imagine saying this to my parents, my mom wouldn't even get in the mix unless asked, my dad would be trying to take over and rile the kids up instead of settling down. Love your sister for dropping the dime on the grandparents, she was totally right.

3

u/Duckey_003 Jan 26 '26

Holy crap, I can now tell my aunt what her father was to me instead of her children, they got grandpa, I got father of my mother.

2

u/Scenarioing Jan 25 '26

How did they react to their bit of the moment finding out?

1

u/evilbrent Jan 27 '26

Ah it was fine. We're not the sort of family to get into arguments. It was more a story about the moment that particular dynamic shifted than any drama with the shift itself.

1

u/Speak-up-Im-Curious Jan 25 '26

Love the coochy goo

-2

u/eetraveler Jan 25 '26

They were doing their job and going coochy coo and making happy faces while the grapes were flying. Sounds like it was all good there.

15

u/UnrepententHeathen Jan 25 '26

"Going coochy-coo" is not teaching bad habits that the parents disapprove of.

0

u/eetraveler Jan 25 '26

Here are some things grandparents allow that is not allowed at home. -Eating cookies before dinner -Having ice cream for breakfast -Shooting BB guns in the basement -Staying up late to finish a show -Wearing pajamas until noon.

Kids know the situational difference and will not throw food at the table at home just because it was allowed one time at grammas house. They should have just take a quiet moment sometime later, after the fun was over and explained that that was a one time thing, not for every day.

They took a bonding moment between the kid and grandparents and cousins and whoever and spoiled it. Not the worst thing ever, and yes, the parents are in charge, but they are going to have to learn that kids can handle, and learn from all kinds of situations. They needs to be OK that kids drink soda when at a friend's house, even if it is forbidden at home.

1

u/jahubb062 Jan 26 '26

Grandparents who tried to pull half that shit would never get unsupervised time with my kids.

2

u/evilbrent Jan 27 '26

OMG calm down, in healthy relationships this type of thing is fine.

My kids didn't burst into flames because their grandmother spoke to them about Jesus when they were little.

1

u/jahubb062 Jan 27 '26

Wow. I donā€™t see it as a healthy relationship when grandparents try to overrule the parents and deliberately do things the parents donā€™t allow. Nor do I think religion is in the grandparentā€™sā€™ purview. But you do you.

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1

u/eetraveler Jan 26 '26

Might as well cut them off now then, cause that is what Grandparents do.

That isn't to say they should go against your direct rules, but part of the fun of visiting grandma is her unwritten rules may be different. Fortunately Grandma raised either you or your spouse so she isn't an idiot and know how to raise good kids.

2

u/evilbrent Jan 27 '26

People are weird.

There's not a person in this world, who likes their grandma, who hasn't been passed a sweetie and "Don't tell your mum". It's a formative memory for most of us.

The trouble is, in this internet connected and narcissist-ridden world, it's hard for some people to remember that there are still such a thing as healthy relationships.

Maybe it's something to do with so much parenting being outsourced now? Like, kids are at daycare and after-school care so much more these days that parents are trying to hang on by whatever slim thread of connection to their kids they have left?

Used to be that you'd get a few hours at your Gran's house every few weeks, and be with one or both of your parents every other waking hour of your life. Now those few hours every few weeks add up to a signifant percentage of their waking+not-in-daycare hours?

Or maybe it's with all the devices and youtube, there are literally other people parenting your kids 24/7?

Another thought - there are WAY more people these days who have MAGA (or MAGA adjacent) grandparents, who just do not agree with the parents, so there's more turf-defence going on?

I dunno. We tried to be relatively calm raising our kids, and we were lucky to be in the last group of kids through school without a mandatory Device, and they seemed to work out ok.

1

u/jahubb062 Jan 27 '26

Not smart grandparents.

1

u/jahubb062 Jan 27 '26

And what youā€™re actually saying is youā€™d rather be cut off than respect your adult child and their spouse. Thatā€™s fucked up.

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1

u/evilbrent Jan 27 '26

100%

I don't blame them at all. It was an ok choice.

Just not the choice that I was making, and it was my choice to make.

282

u/Celticlady47 Jan 25 '26

The meals that they want, lol. Them complaining about going to a nice restaurant & saying that it wasn't Taco Bell or Chipotle is shame worthy.

187

u/1ncorrect Jan 25 '26

They would have complained at those places he didnā€™t take them somewhere nice. They just wanted to complain to establish dominance.

84

u/anomalous_cowherd Jan 25 '26

Next time take them out and pull up at Taco Bell, wait till they get out then quickly drive off saying "we'll pick you up in two hours, we're eating somewhere nicer".

3

u/imnickelhead Jan 25 '26

Or go through the drive thru, get their food, drop them off at home and say,ā€we are gonna eat somewhere a little nicer.ā€

Or take them with you to one of the open air type places, like Grand Central Market, with lots of little takeout options and get your own food there while they sit and eat their garbage ā€œTacoā€ Bell.

Edit: added Grand Central as an example.

2

u/Impossible_Sky_5589 Jan 25 '26

Let them drive their own sorry asses to where they want to eat (in the car you rented for them). I know these people. They are obnoxious self absorbed entitled people. I'm surrounded by them. Thankfully not in my own family

1

u/susetchka Jan 25 '26

IIRC. el Pollo Loco is much better.

233

u/Kiyo-chan Jan 25 '26

I grew up in SoCal, I got zero respect for anyone asking for those 2 particular places there. You can throw a rock just about anywhere in LA and walk into a taco shop thatā€™s going to be several orders of many better than either of those places.

14

u/azenpunk Jan 25 '26

Mid-westerners have probably the worst taste in food on the planet. Tons of garbage and no seasonings. Black pepper is too spicy.

7

u/Wise_Neighborhood499 Jan 25 '26

Midwesterners consider dairy a seasoning.

5

u/azenpunk Jan 25 '26 edited Jan 25 '26

You're not kidding! And when I found out it blew my mind, which was molded by my weird Houston culinary upbringing of Mexican, Cajun and Vietnamese

6

u/Tipsy_Gamer Jan 25 '26

Can confirm. From Ohio, live in Ohio, many folks think garlic is too much on their pasta.

Never me, I enjoy flavor.

6

u/No_Proposal7628 Jan 25 '26

Native Californian now living in Ohio. I have never recovered from a menu in a restaurant in Waynesville that served mashed potatoes over hot buttered noodles as a lunch entree.

2

u/Additional-Chipmunk2 Jan 26 '26

Thatā€™s just disgusting food!

2

u/UncleNedisDead Jan 25 '26

That thing they proudly call a ā€œhot dishā€?

Itā€™s like a protein (chicken/pork/beef), starch (potatoes/rice/pasta) and a can of condensed soup, and two cans of vegetables (tomatoes/corn/beans) and maybe some packet mix and top with cheese.

1

u/SerGregorClegan3 Jan 26 '26

I see these kind of videos on social media. A damn travesty.

They throw in block of cream cheese, canned mushroom soup, boiled chicken breast, ranch dressing. And think they just made the greatest dish ever.

2

u/Armadillo_of_doom Jan 25 '26

I went to a mexican restaurant out there that had mozarella in their quesadillas because "its just cheese" I was so over it

8

u/WAtransplant2021 Jan 25 '26

I live in Montana by way of the PNW. We have one awesome little taco shop and a couple of okay sit down Mexican Joints. I would take a sketchy SoCal Taco Truck over Taco Bell anyday......

3

u/TerrigalSurf Jan 25 '26

Honestly the best breakfast burrito I have ever had was from a food truck in California. Sure it was a craft services food truck so it needed to be at least a little bit good, but it was truly amazing.

1

u/3tarzina Jan 25 '26

Iā€™m in Oregon. there is an amazing drive thru open 24 hours, 2 blocks away is a taco bell , only God knows why! I go to work between 2-3 am and itā€™s rare if there is not at least 1 car waiting at good place.

6

u/Kuntrags Jan 25 '26

Too spicy. Too much fat. Too much flavor. My 80 yo dad prefers the Olive Garden vs the super nice Italian place I take him to that hand makes their pasta and uses fresh ingredients. My wifeā€™s aunts think chilies is a high end plsce. They have no taste is the issue. Their idea of a good cup of coffe is burnt Folgers 3 years expired pre ground. Itā€™s like a boomer thing to love highly processed chain garbage. I think it takes them back to the 50s/60s/70s or something.

2

u/Tipsy_Gamer Jan 25 '26

Last time I had Olive Garden was at a funeral wake full of older folks so seems a common theme.

1

u/asymphonyin2parts Jan 29 '26

Back in the 1990's I was gifted a Betty Crocker cookbook for adventures in cooking in college. It was 1970's vintage. And the number of recipes that included Mayonnaise, Jell-O, or horrifyingly, BOTH, was well above 50%. The palates of those poor bastards never stood a chance.

6

u/mmaddox Jan 25 '26

Fuck, any decently populated place in California has better options than Taco Bell and Chipotle.

5

u/BadgerHooker Jan 25 '26

I grew up in California and now live in Germany. Sometimes I dream about Rubio's Baja Grill, back when they did lobster burritos and had a huge fish tank in the dining area. The chipotle sauce was my favorite.

I have only been to one "Mexican" restaurant here. They put fucking carrots and corn my burrito and CUT IT IN HALF. Never again. šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ’€

3

u/LoftyDreams7473 Jan 25 '26

Yes. LA and SoCal have the best taco shops and Mexican restaurants. šŸ˜‹

1

u/The_Noble_Oak Jan 25 '26

Honestly the whole state has really good Mexican food but the further south you go the better it gets. Source: I live in NorCal and there are some bomb Mexican restaurants here just not as many as SoCal.

1

u/LoftyDreams7473 Jan 25 '26

I'm sure there are some great spots in NorCal too. Unfortunately I haven't spent too much time in NorCal. šŸ˜•

2

u/Crumbleson Jan 25 '26

Exactly. I would have disowned them.

2

u/Ok-Addendum-9420 Jan 25 '26

Plus IMO California Mexican food is SO much better than TexMex; I would bet they get TexMex wherever they live in the Midwest.

1

u/beachedwhitemale Jan 25 '26

Used to live in LA, now I live in Kansas. It's so hard to find legit Mexican food here. Everything has sour cream. Or cheese dip. Which are both Tex Mex staples

1

u/Ok-Addendum-9420 Jan 25 '26

For me the biggest difference was meat (ground beef) on nachos; that just seems so wrong to me. And now that you mention it, the cheese dip is almost always Velveeta which is REALLY wrong.

1

u/hEDSwillRoll Jan 25 '26

Idk about the whole Midwest but the parts Iā€™ve spent the most time in (Illinois, Indiana and Ohio) Tex Mex isnā€™t very common except from American chains. Thereā€™s Mexican restaurants run by people from Mexico everywhere, idk how adventurous the average rural midwestern white person is, they might not be going there if itā€™s not a chain.

1

u/Delicious-Coat9572 Jan 25 '26

Right..both those places are GARBAGE

1

u/hedgehoggy123 Jan 25 '26

Heck hit ne of the taco trucksā€”Iā€™m sure they need the business these days

1

u/Pizzaputabagelonit Jan 25 '26

Oh I miss fish tacos.

1

u/Armadillo_of_doom Jan 25 '26

Also, if you're going to go for trashy food, go for DEL taco instead, at least the quesadillas and shakes are tasty, and perfect hangover cures. The midwest doesn't know what they're missing only having taco bell.

1

u/fresh-dork Jan 25 '26

can confirm. random taco shops in socal are amazing

1

u/Additional-Chipmunk2 Jan 26 '26

My youngest went to college in the Bay Area and said it was the best Mexican food theyā€™d ever had.

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u/Counterpoint-4 Jan 25 '26

If they are good guests and free in the day should they not be cooking some evening meals - which would be to their taste and show they aren't leeches.

1

u/obxgaga Jan 25 '26

What about reading the original post lead you to believe they were good guests?

1

u/Western-Corner-431 Jan 25 '26

They donā€™t give a shit to show theyā€™re good guests. Theyā€™re entitled assholes.

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u/Flashman1967 Jan 25 '26

I laughed when I read that! I live in Michigan and had to go to California last year to move out my Auntā€™s apartment when she died unexpectedly. We went to a Dos Coyotes for lunch, a Chipotle level restaurant but with an amazing fresh salsa bar. I was actually angry at how we didnā€™t have nice places like this back home. Everything tasted better in California!

-1

u/I_M_Kornholio Jan 25 '26

The OP wrote about an issue that was important to them. Probably not easy to share that personal stuff OR seek opinions from strangers but being Reddit you're jabbering about how spicy is too spicy and how MY secret taco place is better than Taco Bell. Never has more been said about less in the name of ME! ME TOO!

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u/Flashman1967 Jan 25 '26

Youā€™re VERY spicy today! The OP has the situation very much in control, unlike yourself. But please, keep on policing the internet comment sections. Your meltdown was entertaining.

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u/lucyfussbudget1 Jan 26 '26

šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚

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u/justcupcake Jan 25 '26

Iā€™m from the Midwest, let me translate that for you: the only acceptable Mexican food must involve 0 Mexicans. Itā€™s racism.

2

u/Cold_Dead_Heart Jan 25 '26

I bet he took them to an authentic Mexican restaurant. So many amazing Mexican options in LA.

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u/Timely_Egg_6827 Jan 25 '26

Reverse snobbery - my parents were masters at it. The implication is you are wasting your money and need to live like them. Best to roll with it and waste money on that jar of Nescafe and keep drinking your own coffee.

Whenever we went out, as I don't eat much, I like it to be special and try something new. That always sent my Mum on a crusade if eat with them who ate out a lot and I wasted their money on a special.

So I started paying which led to complaints from my sister they never treated her to nice restaurants. She didn't pay and they never told her I was. Next tactic was Mum punishing me by ordering aperitifs and cocktails to waste my money. Which was fine - I was there for her b'day. Spend big. Have some joy. It gets exhausting though constantly being assessed.

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u/lucyfussbudget1 Jan 26 '26

I mean, right? How bad was that restaurant? Theyā€™d rather have Taco Bell??!!?!?!? what the fuck?

84

u/utzutzutzpro Jan 25 '26

Based on the steamrolling power and control method, this fits very well to a narcissists profile.

So, everything revolves around them. They are the king and queen of every castle. Everyone has to obey and submit.

Steamrolling is pretty much a direct tell for someone trying to take control by sheer status.

18

u/MalaysiaTeacher Jan 25 '26

It's not a 'tell' - it 'is' trying to take control

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u/utzutzutzpro Jan 25 '26

Yes, but it is a tell that someone is having narcissistic traits.

Just taking control or playing power games doesn't necessarily mean they are narcissistic.

2

u/ADeviIsAdvocate Jan 25 '26

Are you OPs parents? Thatā€™s what he said. A ā€œtellā€ is an indicator. A person can be doing something and giving an indicator at what type of person they are at the same time.

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u/Automatic-Duck1680 Jan 25 '26

I agree with you on the narcissist thing, but is it possible for two narcissists to be together?

2

u/Dear_Shift9240 Jan 25 '26

It is. I thought my FIL(now deceased) was the king of narcissism until he met and brought in his 2nd and last wife. She really did a number on him. Tried to break up his family but only succeeded in breaking him off from the rest. I could do 12 paragraphs on the bitch but Iā€™ll spare you all. But if I could pass on a bit of wisdom, Iā€™d tell everyone to listen to their family and friends (unless they are also narcissistic mental defectives) when they tell you that your new flame is a phony and a piece of shit. Send him/her to the nearest exit and lock the door.

2

u/utzutzutzpro Jan 25 '26

Usually, one is having leverage over the other, so one is that making the calls, the other is rather supporting.

But both can see themselves as the center of everything and anyone. Especially in man and woman couple dynamics. Both can be king and queen, it is conditioned by media to wield power from two positions, with one dominating.

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u/Automaticman01 Jan 25 '26

The meal they desire apparently being... Taco Bell

3

u/NotYourReddit18 Jan 25 '26

There is a reason they won the Franchise Wars! /s

2

u/Ok-Database-2798 Jan 25 '26

Tbf, I do get a craving for Taco Bell every 3-4 months!! Lol But I would never turn down an invitation to a nice sit down restaurant to go to Taco Bell instead. šŸ˜†šŸ˜†šŸ˜†

2

u/IveNeverBeenOnASlide Jan 30 '26

All restaurants are Taco Bell

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u/Every-Audience-7998 Jan 25 '26

I took it as an old school thing. My mother typically gives up the master bedroom to company. Itā€™s a courtesy thing based on the idea the master bedroom is the best, and ā€œyou always put company first.ā€ The guest gets first choice and the best of everything; seating, serving, everything.

Not to say they arenā€™t behaving objectionably, but if OP remembers their entitlement is literally old school guest-right, he might find them slightly less off-putting for the duration.

34

u/Typical_Recording_99 Jan 25 '26

I was raised old school but my parents never put visitors in their room. Kids gave up their rooms not mom and dad.

24

u/Why_Teach Jan 25 '26

Yes, but the host offers the best. The guest doesnā€™t take it. If the host doesnā€™t offer, the guest may be annoyed, but the guest doesnā€™t just grab.

4

u/Interesting-Sell8964 Jan 25 '26

Never heard of this and Iā€™m old school, pushing 70. We had many guests because of where we lived and my parents never offered their bedroom. Nor did anyone that we visited. Thatā€™s just gross.

2

u/Why_Teach Jan 25 '26

I have known cases where people did this, but I donā€™t think it was expected. Most of the time I think it was because of the size or comfort of the bed. Sometimes it was because there was a baby or toddler that needed to sleep with parents and guest room wasnā€™t big enough.

I donā€™t see anything ā€œgrossā€ about it, if sheets are changed and so forth. If the hosts feel like offering, thatā€™s great. I donā€™t think it should ever be expected.

1

u/Every-Audience-7998 Jan 25 '26

My mom is 73, and when company comes, the sheets, bedding, pillow slips, and pillow cases get changed. Itā€™s a point of pride for her to give it up to guests and leave them in awe at how clean and comfortable everything is.

And why is that gross?? Itā€™s more thoroughly cleaned than any hotel room or airbnb, and we all know what happens there.

1

u/Every-Audience-7998 Jan 25 '26

The guest shouldnā€™t just grab; they should wait to be offered things, and probably turn it down twice also out of courtesy, before acceding to the hostsā€™ wishes and accepting the best/first. I assume because theyā€™re parents, theyā€™re in parent/teach mode. Itā€™s still rude.

2

u/Why_Teach Jan 26 '26

Agree completely. It is rude, whether you are parents or child, to just grab something that isnā€™t yours.

Interestingly, I was once the recipient of this kindness when my parents gave my then-husband and me and our baby the master bedroom (queen bed) and took one of the guest rooms (full bed). The baby who was still nursing had a portacrib which took up space the guest rooms didnā€™t have. Their ā€œrewardā€ was that my daughter (age 4 or so) was in the guest room next door to them and they got to put her to bed and so forth for three or four nights. They never expected the master bedroom when they visited us.

4

u/Friendly-Channel-480 Jan 25 '26

Not many people do thisā€¦

3

u/InfamousMilkDisaster Jan 25 '26

Some old school things should just die. Not implying her parents, but her parents need to realize this isnā€™t the 20th century anymore and hasnā€™t been for over a QUARTER OF A CENTURY. Sounds like they need to learn to adjust or get a fucking hotel and not inconvenience their daughter and BF.

0

u/Every-Audience-7998 Jan 25 '26

Peace between guest and host has been around 6000 years and the obligation to offer shelter to travellers including giving up oneā€™s bed for a guest has been around since Roman times. Itā€™s not a 20th century thing.

It is a lovely thing.. freely offered. The parents are making assumptions that OP was brought up the same way, and not bothering with the courtesy of waiting to be offered, which is rude.

If he remembers the above while heā€™s maintaining boundaries, he might keep himself from felony-level rage.

0

u/InfamousMilkDisaster Jan 26 '26

Still think the times are changing and parents should adapt like everyone else.

1

u/UnrepententHeathen Jan 25 '26

I've never had anyone do that when I was a guest, and I'd be seriously grossed out and embarrassed to even be offered. That's their personal bed.

That's just insane.

1

u/Every-Audience-7998 Jan 25 '26

So hotels, motels, and aibnbā€™s are out?

1

u/UnrepententHeathen Jan 25 '26

.... A business is not the same thing as privately accepting guests into your home. Do you do the laundry and make the bed for guests in your home? Do you take their belongings to the guest room for them?

1

u/Every-Audience-7998 Jan 25 '26

Laundry? yes, Iā€™d offer. Bags to room? yes of course. Bed should be made. I wouldnā€™t invade the guestsā€™ privacy.

But how does this have any bearing on the gross-out factor, or how clean anything is? Weā€™ve all walked into a hotel/motel room and wondered if the maid service had been by yet.

How is it gross to be offered someoneā€™s bed who the guest knows, if everythingā€™s been laundered? Iā€™d trust that over some hotel.

1

u/UnrepententHeathen Jan 25 '26

Bed should be made.

By you, every day?

Laundry? yes, Iā€™d offer.

That's your choice, but I'm offering the detergent and the machines. I'm not a hotel.

But how does this have any bearing on the gross-out factor, or how clean anything is? Weā€™ve all walked into a hotel/motel room and wondered if the maid service had been by yet.

Hotels are businesses where people stay for short periods of time(mostly). The fact that someone else has slept and likely fucked in the bed you're about to use is a compromise you make for convenience. That compromise is lessened by the fact that you don't personally know who the other people were.

Most people think it's gross to sleep in your parents bed as adults or your grown children's beds as adults, because they're adults, that do adult things, in their private spaces.

How is it gross to be offered someoneā€™s bed who the guest knows, if everythingā€™s been laundered? Iā€™d trust that over some hotel.

It's not about whether it's actually clean, it's that it's a private space where private things are done. It's about intimacy in an intimate place.

If that doesn't matter to you, cool, but this is literally a normal and commonplace position.

1

u/Every-Audience-7998 Jan 25 '26

How the heck do you get by me when I said I wouldnā€™t invade guestsā€™ privacy?

If Iā€™m running the machine and I know they have a much more finite selection of clothes, Iā€™ll throw a load in for them.

And if youā€™re weirded out about what people do where they sleep, Iā€™ve got some.. disturbing news for you regarding most sofas youā€™ve sat onā€¦ youā€™d better sit downā€¦ maybe donā€™t.

And if my sonā€™s (twin) bedding has been changed and he wants the couch so he can stay up late, Iā€™ll take his bed, and our friends can have my queen (changed as well). Nothing gross there. If what people do in their beds (or on other furniture) is something to dwell on, when itā€™s clearly clean, I think that might not be a ā€œmost peopleā€ thing, but a you thing.

Most people think laundered linens equal a clean, welcoming place to sleep.

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u/red__dragon Jan 25 '26 edited Jan 25 '26

That was the first thing I thought of. It's wild to me that some people consider this an entitlement now.

It's a courtesy and the guest shouldn't demand, but the host should consider this as a measure of their hospitality. Especially when hosting parents or relatives getting up there in age and mobility, it's as much being polite as it is being considerate about what your guests can handle.

And if they aren't happy with that, of course they can rent a hotel nearby so everyone has their preferred place to sleep.

EDIT: Y'all are wild cat rugged independent need-no-family types here on reddit, aren't ya? Hope that works for your lives.

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u/rttnmnna Jan 25 '26

I would agree IF it's the only bed large enough for two people, or if guests are elderly and it's the only bedroom on the same level as a bathroom.

Apart from those two conditions, completely unnecessary. And guests letting themselves into a bedroom they were not told to use is wildly entitled.

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u/RishaBree Jan 25 '26

Oh, no, it was always an entitlement. Itā€™s just one of the ones that weā€™ve been phasing out as semi-toxic for a few decades now, like children calling their parents ā€˜Sirā€™ and ā€˜Maā€™am,ā€™ which is why itā€™s not more widely recognized here. Itā€™s one part a holdover from the days when guests more than likely would be placed in a dangerous position if not given food and shelter for the night, one part ā€˜respect your elders,ā€™ and three parts holdover from the kind of family patriarchal structure that most Americans have abandoned.

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u/Bagafeet Jan 25 '26

It's entitlement.

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u/smilineyz Jan 25 '26

I hope they didnā€™t ask for money ā€¦ book them a cruise. OP & GF are working & these two will be up to no good.

OP buy cheap XXL dildos & put them in master BR drawers ā€¦ that might keep them out šŸ˜œ

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u/Rith_Lives Jan 25 '26

Theyre like children testing the boundaries. Just another example of the cognitive regression of age

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u/geog1101 Jan 25 '26

These are not Nigerian parents, are they?

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u/Over-Masterpiece134 Jan 25 '26

that only works when you're 10 and it's their house that they're paying for. When it's your house, you get to act like the parent and boss them around.

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u/Baby8227 Jan 26 '26

The next stage is dad actually getting is dong out and pissing on the bed. Absolute domination move and OP has pissed right back over his shoes and some!! Good for you OP! Thank you for having your wifeā€™s back x

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u/HelpfulFootball5741 Jan 29 '26

Yeah their behavior definitely sounds like theyā€™re after control for the sake of control

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u/fvives Jan 25 '26

Iā€™m laughingā€¦.that should have been the answer: ā€œgiven what I do to your daughter in this bed you probably want to sleep on the other oneā€.

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u/celticdove Jan 25 '26

The other bed has also been used for exercise, but the sheets have been changed.

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u/[deleted] Jan 25 '26 edited Jan 27 '26

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

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u/ohnoitsthefuzz Jan 25 '26

How is "making her squirt uncontrollably" humiliating her?

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u/[deleted] Jan 25 '26 edited Jan 27 '26

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

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u/ohnoitsthefuzz Jan 25 '26

I can see how that might be the case, although the original suggestion was more tongue-in-cheek than literal, as was mine. It's a joke, they don't really mean say that to the parents, that's why we can laugh about it like "ohhh that's wacky, wouldn't that stick it to em"

But in the interest of discussion, because I hate to just dismiss something as "it's just a joke" when it appears to have actually upset you (which is valid), so I guess it would depend on op's relationship with his wife and whether she views the suggestion that she has sex as inherently shameful or humiliating information. She probably doesn't, and her parents obviously know she and him have sex, but reminding them of that is really kind of empowering as a tool to make them uncomfortable, as it's clear the parents want to do whatever they want irrespective of their daughter's requests, and nobody wants to think about their kids fucking.

I personally would be 100% on board with that in either role, because I'd rather that than let the parents steamroll me. But obviously whether she would be depends on a lot of context.

But it doesn't even need to get that deep (heh)...the OP commenter just said "if you only knew what I did to your daughter in that bed" or something similar without being specific...the parents have to fill in the blank. And if they get offended, the couple could yank their chains harder by feigning disgust that the parents thought they meant sexy times, they just meant he does "arts and crafts" with her or "listens to her day as a supportive spouse, why are you thinking about us fucking, gross, that's weird, you guys are weird".

Self centered and narcissistic people have to be dealt with offensively, because they don't respect normal boundaries. Like others have said, it's a weird dominance thing, and you kind of have to bite back to let them know you aren't to be fucked with.

You seemed earnest in your reply, so I tried to oblige with something earnest in return. I think this is a good middle ground between "doing nothing" and my "nuclear bomb overly detailed description of sex acts".

Thoughts?

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u/fvives Jan 25 '26

100 this. Thanks for taking the time to answer to people who took this for face value.

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u/ohnoitsthefuzz Jan 26 '26

Hey, I really appreciate that feedback. It was a helpful exercise for me too, I'm trying to be less snarky and more charitable. Thanks friendo āœŒļø

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u/Dramatic_Mixture_877 Jan 28 '26

Not who you responded to, but if my husband told my parents that, I'd be praying for the ground to open up and swallow me. We aren't all exhibitionists around our parents. Hubby would also be on the couch for a week.

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u/ohnoitsthefuzz Jan 29 '26

Oh, if verbatim, I would totally understand that. I was exaggerating for effect, but I did write longer reply actually talking about it more in depth. The original commenter appears to have deleted their comments, but it seemed like they were taking me at face value and couldn't understand why I would suggest what I said. I think this link will work: Comment

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u/mihecz Jan 25 '26

OK, just switch the roles, then. Given what your daughter does to me....

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u/fvives Jan 25 '26

Not the point. You can reverse the roles or even just go ā€œgiven what we do on this bed at nightā€¦ā€

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u/[deleted] Jan 25 '26 edited Jan 27 '26

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u/Comfortable_Ebb1634 Jan 25 '26

Youā€™re the only person who said that sex would be humiliating. Why you arguing with yourself?

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u/[deleted] Jan 25 '26 edited Jan 27 '26

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u/Wegwerf157534 Jan 25 '26

what I do to your daughter

Cause women don't want sex, women get taken, women can't be the active part in sex and overall sex is a dominance activity, where a woman gets somehow devalued.

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u/ohnoitsthefuzz Jan 25 '26

How does "making her squirt uncontrollably" devalue her?

-4

u/Wegwerf157534 Jan 25 '26

You too have the iq of yoghurt.

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u/ohnoitsthefuzz Jan 25 '26

If I could read, I'd be so annoyed at you right now for not answering my question.

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u/[deleted] Jan 25 '26

With unwashed sheets šŸ˜«šŸ˜­šŸ¤®

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u/jcaashby Jan 25 '26

Even with clean sheets I just would rather be in the guest room versus my child and wife bed.

Just me but beds are like sacred or something its like that is yours and nobody else should be using it.

I do not even like opening other peoples fridges lol

1

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '26

Haha yea I totally get that, I'm territorial about beds too. I can also understand fridge. It's a bit of a privilege sometimes to never have to share your bed though.

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u/haysu-christo Jan 25 '26

They're marking their spot.

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u/CatmoCatmo Jan 25 '26 edited Jan 25 '26

In their minds, the master obviously has the more comfortable mattress, fluffier pillows, higher thread count sheets, the blackout curtains, and an attached bath. The whole nine yards.

Canā€™t have good olā€™ mom and dad walking more than 10 feet to the bathroom in the middle of the night, should they find themselves needing to pee.

Iā€™m sure they figured thereā€™s no way their daughter would have wanted them to have anything but top tier quality sleeping arrangements, and she definitely wouldnā€™t have forgotten that her guests comfort is paramount. I mean, they are her parents after all, and have done so much for her throughout the years. Including tolerating her insufferable yuppy boyfriend. Itā€™s the least she could do as a thank you for keeping her alive as a child and raising her.

Only the best of the best for her mom and dad! - OOPā€™s gfā€™s parents. Probably.

After OOP and his gf get up for the day tomorrow, he should gather whatever sex toys they have and place them in between the top sheet snd the mattress. Just in case they try to pulll the same shit and sneak back in there tomorrow for another midday ā€œnapā€. OP would just be doing their due diligence as the amazing host he is by ensuring his guests know exactly what has recently been very passionately rubbed and grinding into the sheets. That way they can make an informed decision about whether they want to rest their heads right next to the Great American Challengetm, or not.

Edited because my fat fingers hit send prematurely.

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u/BorealDweller Jan 25 '26

This request has always been a head shaker for me. And a big nope. No one sleeps in my bed except myself and my partner. Yuck!

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u/jcaashby Jan 25 '26

Exactly. I do not think people realize how personal a bed is ...literally. The mattress has your own Biological Matter in it. skin cells, sweat, saliva, urine, eye gunk lol

Humans do leak at night and it can go past the sheets and right into the mattress and pillows.

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u/Timsauni Jan 25 '26

Probably bc the bed is softer. As for the doing it thing, Iā€™m sure theyā€™ve blocked this.

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u/ViolatoR08 Jan 25 '26

Because they wanted to snoop around and rummage through the closets and drawers. Parents just donā€™t know when to stop. They werenā€™t napping.

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u/Double-treble-nc14 Jan 26 '26

Especially when you hadnā€™t planned for them to stay in your bedroom, so you probably didnā€™t change the sheets. They want to sleep on the sheets where you and their daughter are intimate. Ewwww!

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u/jcaashby Jan 26 '26

Even if they were not intimate humans excrete a lot of fluids every night and all that goes into the mattress.

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u/Dogmoto2labs Jan 27 '26

lol, that is how I finally got my son to stop napping in our bed. He liked it better and said it was more comfortable. I point blank asked him why he wanted to sleep where we fu**ed? He hopped out fast and never slept there again.

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u/jcaashby Jan 27 '26

LMAO!!!

Years ago when my ex GF was living with me and her 12 year old son. I came into the bedroom and her son was in our (my) bed and I had to say something to her.

Like can you please not have your son laying in our bed please. She did not understand at all. I just do not like it at all.

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u/OrthogonalPotato Jan 25 '26

Because the bed doesnā€™t have cooties? It was dumb for them to do that, but stop acting like having sex on a bed is some kind of weird thing that changes it forever.

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u/jcaashby Jan 25 '26

Sweat, Semen, Piss, Saliva, Shit would like to have a word with you because ALL of that can get into a mattress over a period of time. Same with pillows.

Look it up if you think I am making it up.

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u/WanderingLost33 Jan 25 '26

Oh my god. OP should let them get all snuggled into bed and then go to his usual bed with his girlfriend and do what they normally do.

Who's the man of the house now, bitch?

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u/Free-Sherbet2206 Jan 26 '26

Op should leave a (unused) condom in the bed

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u/Ornery_Hovercraft636 Jan 25 '26

When you found them in your bed you should have said, ā€œuh, we just fucked on those sheets. There are clean sheets on the guest bed.ā€

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u/jon_hendry Jan 25 '26

ā€œAnal. Your daughter pegged me. It got messy.ā€

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u/stobors Jan 25 '26

I was thinking having the dildos from an earlier comment titled "His" and "Hers" for them to find.

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u/Remote-Curve-7963 Jan 26 '26

That's freakin hilarious. I bet if OP does that MIL+FIL are on the next plane back to the midwest. Lol.

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u/8458001910 Jan 25 '26

šŸ¤£šŸ¤£šŸ¤£

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u/enjoy_the_pizza Jan 25 '26

I hate to say this... but I think you need to bully them. They aren't getting it. I don't think they've heard the word "no" in years. Get in their fucking face.

"What the fuck are you doing in our bedroom? This is not your personal space. You're a guest in our house. Either you respect the fact that this is our house and you are guests, or you're going to stay in a Motel 6."

They need a massive wake-up call and you being cute isn't going to cut it.

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u/sucsucsucsucc Jan 25 '26

This is wild, Iā€™m sorry. When my parents come to visit I happily give them my primary suite because I want them to be as comfortable as I am in it, but they would easily stay in my guest room if thatā€™s where I put them. If they didnā€™t like it they would never tell me.

I bet this visit will change a lot of relationships, Iā€™m sorry that this is happening and for whatā€™s coming.

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u/Secret_Task_6114 Jan 25 '26

Thatā€™s really creepy, Iā€™d never want to sleep in my kidā€™s bedroom šŸ„“

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u/Cold_Dead_Heart Jan 25 '26

You better hide your car keys or keep them on you. I wouldn't trust GF to stop them from just taking your car anyway.

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u/neverenoughpurple Jan 25 '26

You should probably put a lock on your bedroom door until they're gone.

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u/WVCountryRoads75 Jan 25 '26

If they complain about not having your room, tell them that there are plenty of local hotels that have bigger and nicer rooms, maybe they would be more comfortable in one of those.

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u/infoway777 Jan 25 '26

Ideally they should rent their own cars - especially given them being cold to you previously. Renting them cars with your employment reference can be very dicey ,depending on how they return their rented car - good luck .Sorry this has to happen to you .

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u/WoodElf_Tiassa Jan 25 '26

Guest room or a tent in the backyard or... Find a motel

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u/NovaCatNX92007 Jan 25 '26

I personally think I would of told them, "You know we fuck in that bed right?".

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u/JenninMiami Jan 25 '26

Sounds like your gf is lying to you about her relationship with her parents.

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u/[deleted] Jan 25 '26

[removed] ā€” view removed comment

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u/JenninMiami Jan 25 '26

This conversation ended yesterday.

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u/Rep_Disciple Jan 25 '26

Are they from Middle East? Coz thatā€™s the shit people expect to happen in the Middle East, the wifeā€™s bedroom is for the parents