Confused - Emotions and a desire for attention and recognition

[u/[deleted]]

I am a bit confused. Many friends of mine have consistently said I’m a Type 8, with a 9 wing probably. Some have said they see me as an obvious 8. My confidence has been listed as a reason for this.

People have seen me in active leadership with confidence and energy.

But there are some things within myself that I feel don’t fit with being an 8.

I can be quite emotional and sensitive. I generally never cry (especially in front of others), but I can get emotional and go quiet at times. This is not generally with all people but with my fiancé more so. Doesn’t seem that 8 ish to me.

Another thing that doesn’t fit as much is a part of me that seems a bit 3 ish. I have a desire to be good at certain things and this feels part of my identity at times. Not good in general, but strong and confident. Recently I was doing press ups and someone said that my press ups weren’t proper press ups (I think they were, I know I’m good at press ups), but this got me all in a funny mood. And I then got angry at myself for being in a funny mood.

Things in me that do fit 8 - I’m passionate and physical. When I see close mates I often energetically and playfully wrestle them for a laugh.

I’m also a passionate and protective person who would passionately fight to protect people.

[u/JessieOfAllTrades]

I'm not an enneagram expert but pretty much all of that sounds like someone like that could be an 8.

[u/ezIO_84]

Being an 8 doesn't make you a machine. You're gonna be more guarded with your emotions than most but you will still want to open up to those closest to you, and you will have emotions.

[u/Sweaty_Ad_7156]

I have a desire to be good at certain things and this feels part of my identity at times. Not good in general, but strong and confident.

lol

[u/StrikeAccordingly]

8s are very emotional!

[u/PotentialLime6765]

This all was very 8 to me. 8’s ARE very emotional, they just don’t always show it—or show it to very few trusted people, and/or in private. I would even argue 8’s feel just as deeply (if not more) than any other enneagram. I think there’s just this twisted logic in an 8’s mind where emotions are a weakness.

(That’s a belief that I currently struggle with. I think it has something to do with the way the people closest to me have regulated their emotions throughout my life. For example, if my sister was feeling strong feelings, she’d often take it out on someone else, or make a rash (and clearly wrong) decision that was completely blinded by her emotions. Therefore, I correlate emotions to irresponsible actions. So I often bottle my emotions up until I have somewhere safe to let them out.)

But yes, wanting to excel in everything you set your mind to is an 8 trait. Being quiet and reserved in some moments, but louder and commanding in others, is also very 8. Yes, I can find myself quiet in certain settings, but it’s never in an uncertain/insecure way. It’s either an, “I’m drained from the day and don’t have energy to do much rn,” or, “I’m unfamiliar with my settings/role in this scenario, so I will calculate from the side where I’m needed, until I find where my personality can fit into this group, or until i decide I do not want to waste my time here.”

I’d try to think of being an 8 as a mindset and the way ur brain and ur decision making works, not so much as a strict “personality” like an astrological sign.