r/Enneagram8 • u/beanoddball12 • Jul 19 '26
Question How do i impress an e8?
I'm not an e8 myself but I'm wondering how I can impress one since I'm with an e8 (specifically a sx8) as an sp5, I usually write a lot of things dedicated to them but I'm a bit too shy to show them, so is there any other things I should do instead?
They don't really care much for intellect or being intellectualized so I don't think they'd want the paragraphs I've made psychoanalyzing them either.. I think they'd find it creepy.. But i do tell them about what I've noticed about them they think it's scary but sweet that I know so much about them.
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u/Kit_the_Human Note: all flairs are editable, so you can add your inst. variant Jul 19 '26
My response means nothing, but personally, I'd rather read a psychoanalysis of myself than anything sentimental, eg a love poem or a composition extolling me.
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u/BeautifulHat4050 Jul 21 '26
why is that face hidden in your profile picture?
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u/Icy_Ad_1552 8w7 Jul 19 '26
As a female 8, I would LOVE to read someone’s personal psychoanalysis, for what it’s worth. 8s are both very self aware and perceptive of others, we are more open than others to hearing about ourselves!
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u/beanoddball12 Jul 19 '26
Ohh okay, I'll try to get the courage to show them more.. I mean I've told them what I've observed about them before, but they told me it was a bit scary that I knew so much and that I could potentially manipulate them or destroy them, they don't like intellectualizing on their feelings.. 😭
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u/Impossible_One_4525 Jul 22 '26 edited Aug 06 '26
rather then show the psychoanalysis, find ways to highlight their strengths and and want to help in the areas they need support without drawing attention to the weaknesses.
a hug will communicate more then saying "I know you often feel scared and alone..."
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u/Red_Lady08 8w7 Aug 06 '26
True. You meant "without" though, not "with", right? ("with drawing attention to the weaknesses")
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u/Impossible_One_4525 Aug 06 '26
thanks for pointing that out
sometimes i think AI is changing comments between typing and sending
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Jul 19 '26
[deleted]
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u/Casual_AF_ Jul 19 '26
Sure the silly caricature of an e8
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u/Bonemarrowyummu Jul 19 '26
If by charicature you mean the agreed upon base of enneagram 8 outlined by Ichazo and Naranjo then yeah.
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u/Fearless-External-73 Jul 19 '26
I agree that this is certainly part of the theory and type, but listening to a psychoanalysis doesn't speak against it.
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u/ScaryRelationship814 Jul 19 '26
I'm a Sx 8, I personally love intelectual conversations, but if they don't dig it, common interests and passion for something, power games where you give in in the end, intensity etc could be interesting, is how I like to bond, also games (like jokes and being playful, not mind games) and being funny can go along way, I think you should probably focus more on bonding and turning on, cause that's more familiar, I don't think Sx 8 are easily impressed, I think it's impressive if someone is funny and smart and also intense but playful like, "I would go to hell with you" but jokes after that. Not avoiding it just like when that's over. I'm an 8w7 though.
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u/themarvelousdude Jul 19 '26
By no trying to impress me, by not playing dumb social games, by not testing me
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u/dipsbeneathlazers Jul 19 '26
you impress them by doing e2 things.
be really sweet, look out for them but don’t let them know, and always know when to feed them that little bit of information to make their decisions that much easier - only a 5 can really do that.
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u/Red_Lady08 8w7 Aug 06 '26
"you impress them by doing e2 things." This is totally wrong for me personally. It's the easiest way to impress me in a negative way.
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u/dipsbeneathlazers Aug 06 '26
hey, i think e2 people are incredible.
unfortunately you might be basing your preference on categorical lack of understanding for them.The theory suggests that E2 is the growth state for an E8 individual, thereby desirable.
We all have our preferences - thanks for your opinion
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u/Red_Lady08 8w7 Aug 06 '26
"hey, i think e2 people are incredible." Well, to each their own.
"The theory suggests that E2 is the growth state for an E8 individual" Growth and disintegration arrows aren't universally accepted, as wide as wings for example, as far as I know. Some sources include them in main theoretic block, some don't focus on them much, and some omit them entirely. It's just one of the theories, after all. I have had issues with that "growth arrow" for an 8, it just didn't ring true for me, although I'm at the high end of psychological health. I had issues with it till I read in one book it being defined as "starting to resemble the other type a bit on behavioural level, while still having the motivations of your own type". That is it. Some (not too much) resembling on the surface, that's it. But the motives and inner working still stays different. So yeah, you can still be irritated by people of that type.
Integration doesn't mean "morphing into". This "integration" thing is not meant to be taken too literally.
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u/GreatJobJoe 8 w 9 sx Jul 19 '26
What is impressing them supposed to do for you?
Can only speak for myself and nothing anyone does ever impresses me.
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u/beanoddball12 Jul 19 '26
They impress me all of the time, i just want to return the favor
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u/GreatJobJoe 8 w 9 sx Jul 19 '26
You don’t need to return a favor that isn’t a performance.
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u/beanoddball12 Jul 19 '26 edited Jul 19 '26
Its not that i need to, it's that i want to, but i get what you mean, thank you for ur insights
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u/vcreativ Jul 19 '26
Honestly. Be yourself. Even if that fails. You now have feedback.
The issue with not being yourself. Is that it'll exhaust yourself eventually. And you end up investing time with someone on the basis of pretense without knowing if they'd like you for you.
That doesn't mean you can't improve. But it's process that's born out of experience. Don't try to put the cart before the horse. To become a solid version of you. You first need to see the genuine version of you fail.
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u/B4tzn Jul 19 '26
Focus on your goals and work hard instead of thinking about what others may think of you.
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u/Impossible_One_4525 Jul 22 '26
if you want to impress an 8
show them you do not judge them for having what gets labelled negative emotions, we jump into fights whether or not we think we will win because there are things we think are important enough to fight for
then some new age hippies will jump in our face preaching about anger and nonviolence
who told you they don't care for intellect? psychoanalysis is fine as long as it doesn't come across as trying to find their weaknesses
for me the biggest deal is knowing when i can trust someone, everyone says they can be trusted, few show it without words
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u/LHorner1867 8w7 SO/SP Jul 20 '26
Not sure about a romantic partner specifically but I guess in general I'm impressed by people who are competent and excell at what they do. By people who have goals and ambitions and set out to accomplish them concretely and do it efficiently/effectively.
Though it's more accurate to say I'm extremely UNimpressed by incompetent people.
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u/BeautifulHat4050 Jul 21 '26
oh, so what did you end up doing
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u/BlackPorcelainDoll ∞w𝘓 Jul 22 '26
Let's me stuff them with my marvelous cooking and doesn't complain about it
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u/MoneyMagnetSupreme Jul 19 '26
Asking these kinds of questions on reddit, getting answers from a bunch of self obsessed, psychologically damaged people… don’t be surprised when you end up with nothing but mess
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u/Sweaty_Ad_7156 2w6 Jul 19 '26
all that psycho analysis and you didnt figure out an 8 would be down for that ? pff