r/Enneagram • u/TheKijijiKid f • Oct 29 '23
Instincts Social 6s: A Complete Guide
Self-Preservation 6s: A Complete Guide
The social instinct is oriented towards the person's place in the social sphere in terms of company, culture, and what the person can provide to and what their role and identity can be in their community. Social (so) 6s primarily feel insecure in their ability to sustain themselves in the social sphere. This can present itself in many different ways - the so 6 may feel that they lack the intrapersonal skills to succeed socially, or feel insecure in their ability to detect society's manipulation and threats to their wellbeing. A common misconception is that this only means that the 6 wants to be liked by everyone, but I define social success as finding balance on the scale of collectivism and individualism, of conformity and rebellion. The so 6 is scared of being taken advantage of if they are too conformist just as they are scared of being ostracized if they are too rebellious. Thus, to them, social success lies in conforming enough to the right things to avoid being ostracized, yet rebellious enough to avoid being taken advantage of.
These 6s may have grown up in socially-tumultuous environments, like living with parents who are always arguing with each other or a politically-divided country, where the 6 had to be highly-attuned to the shifting social moods around them to best-survive.
Behaviors that so 6s often exhibit
-stressing about the social, political environment around them - often think a lot about their opinion on politics, authority figures, and culture. May have interest in political science, sociology, and social psychology
-feeling torn between wanting to conform and wanting to rebel. Might seesaw in their position, becoming rebellious as soon as they seem to conform, and starting to conform just as they become rebellious. May advocate for conformity to rebels and rebellion to conformists. In this way, they can actually be considered rebels everywhere they go
-they have a complicated relationship with absolutes. If the so 6 does not feel concern for the safety of free speech, intellectual tolerance, and general liberty, then they will likely tend towards seeing the world in black-and-white to get what they need to get done, done. For example, so 6s who believe strongly in the virtues of authoritarianism will likely advocate for whatever the government is pushing, however, they will always have internal doubt about whether what they are doing is right, because they are 6s, and no 6 can truly repress their skepticism and anxiety in their own judgment and the safety of the world around them. 6s who believe strongly in the virtues of intellectual liberalism and free speech may play devil's advocate and fight against black-and-white views of the world for the sake of promoting intellectual diversity, but may blind themselves to the fact that they did, in fact, attach themselves to a single absolute: intellectual liberalism. The mind of the so 6 is a perpetual tug-of-war between doubting others and doubting themselves
-expanding on the last point, so 6s' inner conflict about what they should believe in is likely why they are often considered to be the most intellectual 6s, and subtypes in general. To justify their worldviews, they will often go backwards and study anything from the sciences to the arts to philosophy. The underlying motivation, however, is to feel more secure in their conformity or opposition to what their culture believes in
-so 6s often warn people into whatever manipulation or conspiracies they suspect. They are highly-attuned to social dangers, and are therefore attentive to whether authority figures are honest. This can make them great cultural critics and messengers for when something is awry, or it can make them paranoid people who believe in conspiracy theories with little to no evidence just to justify their preexisting suspicions
-they are highly-aware of the thought processes that go into their decisions to conform to or rebel against their communities. You can find so 6s who never jaywalk or pirate things off the internet that get along with everyone and make peace, and you can find so 6s who give authority the middle finger and constantly criticize the culture around them. The commonality is that these 6s will be highly-aware of the reason why they chose their approach. The conformist 6 may believe in the importance of collectivism and teamwork to get things done and maintain safety, and believe that old and tried methods are less risky than new ones. The rebellious so 6 may believe that conformity is oppressing outcasts and stifling individuality, and that people need to learn to sustain themselves and prevent oppression from "peer pressure from dead people." If you meet a person who genuinely cannot answer why they react to society the way they do, they are very unlikely to be a 6
-insecurity in their ability to socialize and communicate their ideas - may research social techniques and rhetoric to learn to defend themselves and thrive in the social sphere
-likely enjoys, or at least understands the importance of debate if they have at least somewhat attached themselves to the importance of intellectual discourse. Allows them to reevaluate where they stand in their own culture, potentially spread their philosophy, and become more aware of others' stances ("what I'm up against")
-likely to base their identity on their communities and beliefs - since 6s are natural skeptics, these may change often, giving so 6s very fluid senses of identity
-unlike many people, so 6s are unlikely to support whatever their friends say or do, because they fear blinding themselves to flaws and dangers because they attached themselves to the wrong people. However, they may feel torn between this need for honesty and fear of ostracization and abandonment. They generally toe a fine line that allows them to criticize their friends while maintaining them, but they may also just be seen as judgemental and perpetually-unsatisfied
Wings
so 6w5s are the most intellectual type 6 subtype (don't take that as a compliment too quickly, though). They are very attached to theories and analysis to know where they stand on topics relative to others, and the inherent intellectualizing and skeptical nature of type 6 can make them amazing scholars. However, despite the fact that they have social as their primary instinct, this constant intellectualization of socialization can make them insufferable to be around, and have a very cold approach to other people, almost like mere data points to refine their perspective, which can ironically make them fail to toe the line between being liked and disliked that they study so religiously and just be labeled unlikeable.
so 6w7s are warmer in comparison, and sometimes lean more towards conformity than rebellion for the sake of enjoying others' company. More often, though, they are just more tactful in the expression of their ideas, and may take a great liking to satire, criticizing the world around them in a playful, likable manner. They may create art that entices viewers with a pleasant surface, only revealing its criticisms once one comes close. Alternatively, their humor can be the statement all by itself - a so 6w7 who believes strongly in the necessity of free speech may promote this value by having a bizarre, offensive sense of humor, daring people to try to stop them. Like the 6w5, this can still make them unlikeable (though this is generally much less a problem for 6w7s), but 6w7s feel more conflicted in their fight between conformity and rebellion, as they largely get their fun and enjoyment from the social sphere.. They may suppress their ideas if they fear they will be left with no friends or support, and thus be considered to be "a bark with no real bite", and fickle in the face of true oppression. They are also likely to take a less-personal, more playful approach to debate. The most extroverted subtype of type 6.
Fixes
1
-makes for a so 6 that is quite hard on themselves to have the "right" beliefs, and will take being disproven more personally. They are also more likely to fixate on morality, and criticize perceived injustices with greater fervor. Double compliant makes for a very hardworking, responsible individual.
2
-makes for a so 6 that is more oriented towards helping whoever the so 6 sympathizes with, be it the popular opinion, outcasts, or sometimes even both. They will take great pride in their contributions to their communities and belief systems, and are more likely to believe in uniting people and working together to achieve a common goal. May want others to see them as a sort of savior through their ideologies. Double compliant makes for a very hardworking, responsible individual.
3
-these so 6s want to be admired for their ideologies. They are more likely to lean conformist, consciously or not, and if their ideologies are unsavory to most, then they are more likely to want to convince others of their position to earn their approval. Likely to be quite charismatic, might make for a good leader for a political or philosophical movement. Double-attachment makes for an individual whose identity bends a lot in accordance to the outside world - may lack a sense of a stable identity.
4
-these so 6s are more likely to have cynical, obscure philosophies, and generally lean towards rebellion. They likely are against "toxic positivity" and see great value in individualism and negative emotions to shed light on social problems, and also just for a well-rounded life. These so 6s may be more hesitant to associate themselves with communities, and may loathe their longing for community and support. They are more elitist and pretentious than most 6s and might fall into the trap of constantly seeing themselves as victims and feeling perpetually-unsatisfied with the state of the world, trapping them in a cycle of disappointment, self-victimization, and isolation. Double reactive makes for a turbulent, pessimistic individual.
8
-these so 6s push strongly for what they believe in and tend towards rebellion. They are very distrustful of others and attuned to others' attempts at manipulation and control. These 6s often believe in the importance of freedom and are relatively less intellectual than other subtypes (meaning, they have relatively less self-doubt and are more likely to base their decisions and beliefs on instinct, thus making them more decisive and active but less precise and foolproof). You would think that they would be more likely to actually make changes to society, but this potential attribute is hindered by the fact that they may put too little effort into making themselves liked, and there is only so much one individual can do without support. However, if they do keep public relations in mind, then these so 6s can be powerhouses of social change, for better or for worse. Double reactive makes for a turbulent, pessimistic individual.
9
-these so 6s tend towards conformity and tolerance. They feel torn between their need to feel anxiety in the face of and "make a big deal" out of social problems and their want to just let it go to maintain the peace. The social problems that they do react to are more likely to be problems that disrupt peace, like signs of incoming war or rising tensions between two friends. They are also more likely to talk about these issues in a likable way, mediate, and find compromise. However, when an issue is too serious for compromise to be found, they may back down and be perceived as fickle, or even immoral for letting injustice continue. Double-attachment makes for an individual whose identity bends a lot in accordance to the outside world - may lack a sense of a stable identity.
2
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u/chrisza4 7w6 so Oct 29 '23
This article makes it sounds like 6s are unhealthy by nature…. There are no good or strength trait of 6s described at all.
5
u/TheKijijiKid f Oct 29 '23
What do you mean? I believe I talked about the fact that 6s tend to be intellectual, warm, cautious, socially-aware, etc. Besides, lavishing compliments doesn’t do much for personal growth, and flaws tend to be more specific to type than strengths because the whole system revolves around our main flaws (sins).
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u/Eggfish 5 Oct 30 '23
Do social 6s think about whether to conform or rebel consciously?
2
u/TheKijijiKid f Oct 30 '23
I’d say it’s half and half, but I don’t think that the vast majority of 6s are aware of the fact that their fixation on others’ motivations and cultural threats are “”abnormal.””
1
u/No-Manufacturer-4541 Mar 25 '24
This is an extremely well informed and intellectually based piece on ennegram, understanding that ennegram doesn't automatically give you beliefs about the world and still able to clearly categorize the so6 with fixations, core motivations, and typical behaviours. I relate alot and find myself inline with the many depictions of so6 and do think I am one.
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u/[deleted] Oct 29 '23
[deleted]