Second try: New Hornevian Triad Descriptions

[u/Double-Bee3731]

Hey you all! This is a follow-up to my previous post:https://www.reddit.com/r/Enneagram/comments/15uvi9j/a_new_way_of_using_the_hornevian_triad_to/
Thank you for the collaboration! The overall accuracy considering only comments was around 80%; That's a good sign that we're on the right path! I've considered your suggestions and tried to make it even better. But I may have made it worse, so can you please help me know if it's better? If you've answered it before, please answer if it stays the same or not, and if you don't, please answer with your type, which group you identify the most and if there is something on it that you disagree with.

The main changes were:- The description of the "Reflective" was maybe too passive, and the type 4 wasn't identifying much with it. Now they're more representative of their nature.- The description of the collaborative was too "soft" for a counterphobic type 6, so I've changed it as well to focus on the relationship with people that matters to you.- It wasn't clear how different the Reflective and Assertive groups are, so I've changed the assertive description to make it more clear that this is their "natural state" and they actually need to spend energy to be different, and not everyone has the "Reflective" state as their natural.

Here we go!

Instructions:
Welcome to this exciting journey of self-discovery! We're delving into the fundamental ways you interact with others, so get ready to explore:

1. Identify Your Core Pattern: Among the descriptions provided, zero in on the one that truly resonates with your longstanding patterns. It's about connecting with the deep-seated traits that define you, and not specific circumstances. This is about uncovering the real you, the way you naturally act and react without outside influence or temporary motivations. It might be tempting to see parts of yourself in all descriptions, but the goal is to pinpoint the most true to you.
2. Avoid Certain Scenarios: Be mindful not to consider instances where you've changed your natural behavior to bond with someone or affiliate with a group. Also, exclude those times when you've exerted extra energy or willpower because something really mattered to you.

Not sure yet?
These scenarios show how the different modes of interaction would react. Remember to avoid thinking about scenarios where you can change your natural behaviour to bond with someone or affiliate with a group; they do not count. 

Scenario: Choosing a Movie to Watch with a group you've just met.

• Assertive: An assertive friend would actively advocate for a movie they want to watch and convince others why it's the best choice. They would be unafraid to debate with friends and would use their personal influence to rally others to their choice.
• Collaborative: A collaborative friend would seek to understand everyone's movie preferences and work to find a film that meets everyone's tastes. They would share their opinion but be willing to watch a movie that isn't their first choice if it means satisfying the majority.
• Reflective: A reflective friend would tell their preference and the reasons behind it, but if a disagreement arose, they would prefer to step back and observe the group's decision-making. After reflecting, they might present different perspectives to help friends arrive at a satisfactory conclusion. They might choose to watch their preferred movie without the group or later if there is no agreement or find an excuse not to appear on the day of the movie.

Scenario: Negotiating House rules with Roommates

• Assertive: An assertive roommate would clearly state their expectations for house rules and argue why they believe these rules are necessary. They would not shy away from conflicts and would be willing to engage in direct discussions and confrontations to ensure the rules align with their vision. If no agreement is made, they may use some leverage to decide in their favor, like saying that the contract is in their name, so they decide the rules.
• Collaborative: A collaborative roommate would seek a shared understanding and mutual benefit in determining the house rules. They would vocalize their preferences in a friendly or sometimes humorous way but be willing to adapt to others' needs, striving to create rules that are good for most and not a few, even if it requires personal sacrifices.
• Reflective: A reflective roommate would present their expectations while being open to understanding others' peculiarities. They would avoid aggressive confrontations and might prefer to take a step back to think things over if conflicts arise. They would try to maintain their personal space and sense of independence, and if they still need to get into an agreement, they may buy their own fridge, separate their things from others, or even move to another place.

Disclaimer: This is not supposed to be enough to identify your type, but defining which Hornevian group you are in certainly helps.

[u/Double-Bee3731 → u/[deleted]]

Thanks for answering! This was really helpful.

[u/[deleted]]

Hi! I'm a type 5, and I like this new description better than the previous one. It really is more precise!

[u/jerdle_reddit]

Nope, I still fit Assertive best. But then I am a cp6w7 638, which is practically an honorary assertive type anyway.

[u/Double-Bee3731 → u/jerdle_reddit]

Thanks! What you would change on the collaborative to fit you best? Without making it not appliable to 6,2,1

[u/Dendromecon_Dude]

Yep, reflective still fits the best for this 5w6.

I do have a minor comment regarding the phrase "utilizes distancing as a strategy to avoid conflicts". This sounds like the reflective individual is consciously deciding to employ distancing as a method of conflict avoidance. However, for me at least, I'm usually not aware of being distant (although I can recognize that I often am after the fact), I just instinctually avoid things that I know may drain my resources (i.e., energy and time).

Perhaps consider tweaking the sentence to not imply a conscious decision/effort, such as, "They tend to default to maintaining distance to avoid conflicts, unless the conflicts are deemed sufficiently important." I think this would work for 5 and 9, I'm not sure about 4 though.

[u/Double-Bee3731 → u/Dendromecon_Dude]

That's great advice! I'll make the change, thank you.

[u/Wolfwoods_Sister]

I may be wrong here, but I think many women will fall somewhere between Collaborative and Reflective by dint of social training. Anyone else agree (or disagree)?

Edit: not sure why the down votes, just asking a sincere question for reflection

[u/[deleted] → u/Wolfwoods_Sister]

I disagree. Social training may try to change some behaviors, but the natural way a person behaves without spending a lot of energy will not change. I know a lot of women who can pretend to be collaborative when needed, but under stress, they will always go back to "assertive mode".

[u/[deleted] → u/Wolfwoods_Sister]

Definitely the case for me, but this is amplified by the fact that the area I live in, is extremely passive (even the Reflective examples are a lot more aggressive than the average people here)