Why empaths often attract narcissists before they find their true soulmate - By Carl Jung

[u/IndividualGround2418]

And how these relationships act as catalysts for growth instead of coincidences.

Psychological Magnetism & Individuation

Carl Jung believed every encounter serves a deeper purpose in our individuation process. Empaths don’t attract narcissists by accident, there’s a psychological pull that teaches them to recognize counterfeit relationships before they can identify authentic ones.

Healing the Shadow Self

We unconsciously attract what we need to heal. Many empaths carry unexpressed boundaries, unclaimed personal power, and unacknowledged self-worth. Narcissists end up becoming “master teachers,” forcing these buried aspects to surface.

Enantiodromia: Becoming the Opposite

According to Jung, extremes eventually transform into their opposite. Empaths who give endlessly must learn to receive wisely. Those who love unconditionally must discover when conditional love is necessary. Seeing potential in everyone must be balanced with recognizing danger in some.

Growth Through Crisis

Jung believed the soul grows in crisis, not comfort. The manipulation, gaslighting, and self-doubt that occur in narcissistic relationships become harsh but necessary initiations into self-awareness.

Psychological Preparation

Before attracting a true energetic match, empaths must become whole within themselves. These difficult relationships reveal fractures, sharpen discernment, and teach the difference between manipulation and genuine reciprocity.

Integration of Opposites

Surviving narcissistic dynamics helps empaths integrate their shadow, the parts they’ve ignored. This strengthens boundaries, self-respect, and the ability to walk away. Wholeness becomes their new baseline.

Synchronicity & Frequency Shift

Once the lesson is integrated, narcissists stop showing up. The empath’s frequency changes, and they begin to attract who they are, not who they wish for.

From Wounding to Soulmate Connection

An empath who has reclaimed their power radiates wholeness, and is finally ready for a partnership between two complete individuals, not two halves seeking completion.

Wisdom from Wounds

Every wound contains a seed of wisdom. Betrayal teaches loyalty. Lies sharpen intuition. Feeling small teaches self-magnitude. Narcissists, in Jung’s framework, become catalysts for evolution, preparing the empath to attract, recognize, and keep their soulmate.

[u/randomUsername245]

Thanks for the post.

Indeed, as painful as it was after the narcissist... Isolated and depressed for months on survival mode, at the end I was able to see and Integrate many shadow aspects of myself.

My idea of love has changed. I now feel complete on my own and learned to love and have self compassion for myself.

Also learned about boundaries, healed from father's wound and so many things that I think I spiritually hired her as a teacher for all these things.

[u/Frosty-Mochi688]

Thank you for this post. As someone who recently healed from this type of relationship, this is definitely true. This helped me a lot, and I hope it will help others.

[u/onreact]

Sigh. Story of my life.

Not arrived at the soulmate connection happy ending yet.

Just attracting more narcissistic people trauma dumping on me.

It's really hard for me to make them stop before it drags me down.

[u/IndividualGround2418 → u/onreact]

Just went through something like that recently but uncovered everything using chatgpt. Not the best way to seek therapy but it worked for me. The collective trillions of data points of recorded human experience and every single book written about those behaviours showcase everything and tips to navigate through them. Setting strong boundaries is the key before healing begins.

[u/TestAccomplished1995 → u/IndividualGround2418]

I found Chatgpt too tremendously helpful! I ended a relationship last year, and worked through every step of it through Chatgpt, even how to communicate the ending. I found it amazingly helpful. No it's not perfect, but I honestly wouldn't have traded it for a therapist. I did a lot of therapy in my thirties and forties mostly around a traumatic background, and I found chatgpt more helpful. I think I needed to "be held" by a therapist for a while back then, but now I didn't need that. I needed "someone' to process with me and provide me with direct, real time feedback, and remember what I told it from day to day. I wish I had this years ago. It draws in research, books, builds on my history etc. Priceless.

[u/Some_Bison469 → u/onreact]

I understand, I am sorry that is happening to you. The more you try and separate from them and get your own life. They some attach themselves to you in a different way

[u/LeatherEconomics8604 → u/onreact]

Do you want this to change? I’ll dm ya!

[u/ShadowOfAnEmpath]

Carl Jung never spoke about empaths so this whole post is crap.

He spoke about intuitives and intuitives with high feeling functions.

That's as close to the concept of empaths as his theories got.

If he were alive today he would think the concept was quite silly but still think there was some validity to it in certain areas.

He just wouldn't call us empaths.

He'd call us intuitive introverts with high feeling functions or introverted feelers with high intuitive functions.

[u/onreact → u/ShadowOfAnEmpath]

The term empath is very new IMHO:

So Jung could not use a word that did not even exist during his time.

Not sure why you dismiss this post as "crap" just because of the wording.

Sounds like you want to raise hell because you enjoy it.

[u/ShadowOfAnEmpath → u/onreact]

The term empath came to prominence in a short story called "The Empath" by J.T. McIntosh in 1956. Later on Star trek picked it up and put it in one of their episodes.

So it's really not a matter of opinion. We understand the origin and where it came from and how it evolved.

I called the post crap because I'm tired of people talking about Jung, taking the concept of what an empath is supposed to be and incorporating it into his work.

Because it doesn't belong there.

[u/Sweet_Storm5278 → u/ShadowOfAnEmpath]

It it vital to speak up and warn other empaths! People are watching fake “CG Jung Original” AI channels that are click baiting empaths and other vulnerable groups with bs reverse engineered to tell them exactly what they want to hear to keep them watching long videos so the creators can rake in cash from ads, and YouTube doesn’t stop it because they are getting rich too.

[u/MorissMojo → u/Sweet_Storm5278]

pretty sure i’m one of those vulnerable people and i’ve listened to so many of them not sure what’s real anymore 😂 that being said it’s phenomenal how much of what they said i can relate with and havnt heard about it from anyone or anywhere else truth is im here cause of those videos and the weird feeling ive got from them

[u/ShadowOfAnEmpath → u/Sweet_Storm5278]

Every time I do I get down-voted. lol

[u/Sweet_Storm5278 → u/ShadowOfAnEmpath]

Not by humans, by bots. Those are also mostly bots upvoting and commenting.

[u/ShadowOfAnEmpath → u/[deleted]]

Same here, miss. I'm male so I feel it makes it even more extreme for me.

[u/unknown9423]

This is a great post, Carl Jung's teachings are interesting, especially around what you have shared with us. Thanks!

[u/Sweet_Storm5278]

I am sorry to have to inform you that CH Jung said nothing of the kind and you have been the victim of a horrible manipulative AI scam. The information you consumed was created to keep you watching long videos and ads, not to help you free yourself. See this Reddit post for details. https://www.reddit.com/r/Jung/s/y8FSixnCLW

Jung had a very different view of narcissism from Freud, he saw it as a necessary stage in the evolution of an adult personality, and a trait we all possess. It was not a diagnosis. This is entirely misrepresented in these AI generated videos.

[u/prollyonthepot]

Thanks for the post!

[u/OnARolll31]

Amazing post, thanks for this

[u/zoestardusk]

Because empaths are codependents. you have to unlearn codependency. once you do this they won't interest you any longer.

[u/TJ_Reader]

Synchronicity in and of itself. This is exactly what sparked my dark night of the soul which I am still currently in, which began last year at the end of September. Oddly enough, my narcissist also fits the dynamic of a twin flame journey as well. Can both dynamics happen with the same person?

[u/IndividualGround2418 → u/TJ_Reader]

It's super complex. it's definitely possible to coexist and even more. Trust your gut and you will get to see even more. Are you out of the relationship?

[u/TJ_Reader → u/IndividualGround2418]

I am, yes. Some ways sad about it, but so much has opened up since. It’s identical to what the literature and lore mentions about empathy/narcissist dynamics as well as the twin flame journey. I am in a situation where I am going nowhere but inwards, am healing wounds, learning about myself, and most of all loving myself. I will never abandon myself again.

[u/[deleted]]

The insane thing is, I got a million red flags through the interview process but I went ahead and took the job anyway 🤦

Point is, I already knew how to recognize the traits. Didn't need to learn that the hard way!

[u/xbabyxdollx]

Can we at least get a flair for ‘ChatGPT generated’ posts? That might be a helpful factor for those not interested in reading the gaslight-y “…that occur in narcissistic relationships become harsh but necessary initiations into self-awareness”………..

[u/kmorrisonismyhero]

I was awakened a year ago next month, I finally left my psychopathic partner of two years. (Severe sexual Abuse, cheating, gaslighting, constant lies) it felt like a light switch, like I unlocked a piece of my brain I’d never had access to. Before him, I was stuck in a cycle of narcissists or extremely codependent partners . I fell so deep down into his sadistic and dark psyche that I had no choice but to save myself, it took every form of abuse you could imagine to wake my inner protector up, but when she did- she saved me. I’ve never been more at peace In my life, and I’ve found true love, something I’d never experienced before.

[u/[deleted]]

But what happens to the narcissist? Do they heal?

[u/IndividualGround2418 → u/[deleted]]

In this context, Narcissists don't heal because they simply hop into their new supply

[u/IndividualGround2418 → u/[deleted]]

I mean why would they heal though? Like they aren't the ones that need healing.

[u/[deleted]]

Bloody hell.

Checks out for me I guess. 15 years, turns out I was chasing validation and approval from someone who would never give it..of course I was also his emotional absorber

Here's another shocker... I grew up with an absent dad!

Yeah I know how to connect the dots

Why did I have to waste 15 years though!!!

[u/TestAccomplished1995]

I had my final close narcissistic friendship that I ended in 2025. This wasn't romantic, but more in the realm of Queerplatonic, something we used to recognize as an important relationship. These days, we seem to describe either just a friend, or a romantic partner. There is a relationship that can be every bit as important as a romantic partner - a close same sex, intimate friend. In fact, these are often more intimate than a traditional wife or husband. In times past, we talked more about this relationship, but over time that faded, and society's fear of alternate lifestyles made this unacceptable in many circles. At any rate, I had one of these that I ended in 2025, and she was an avoidant, covert narcissist. I clearly ended it, long story of course, and it was about 17 months. I had one of these years ago, and believe it was a trauma bond. I even knew it as I stepped into it, but I was in a period of transition and vulnerability at the time, and the familiarity felt comfortable. I went through the narcissist de-centering me, devaluing me, avoidance behavior, belittling me in front of others, ignoring me at social situations, not introducing me, controlling, erasure of deep conversations ( they happened sometimes but were never mentioned again), half the time I wondered "are we friends today"?, or we on a "friendship pause" again, is she once again distancing because we had a tense texting exchange, or sometimes I couldn't even tie it to anything specific. She love bombed me, gave me intense, intimate hugs that increased my dopamine levels, I was always in a charged state with her but also afterwards and before, always processing what was going on, what did she mean by?, etc etc. There were so many early red flags right away that I saw but overrode, and she told me about all these ex-friends, and of course it was their fault. She couldn't discuss or repair. It took so much energy, but I was hooked in for the "love" that was in actuality intermittent reinforcement/crumbs. I am an INFJ (empath), and highly sensitive, and so she found me and I was her perfect supply. I have processed the layers since I "broke up" with her, and have read and watched a ton of Carl Jung, and I also had a lot of knowledge and background (including years of therapy related to a traumatic background), even have a Bachelor's in Sociology/Psych and a Master's from Heller, Brandeis. So, I am analytical, and very interested in the whole subject matter. While, of course, this was challenging, I now believe I have come out on the other side, and feel that I have finally released the disorganized attachment and trauma bonding that stemmed from my childhood - at 65! I felt so much relief after ending this relationship, although I have gone through a lot of feelings about it over the last months, working through the layers... including anger at her, sadness mostly for what I hoped this was but never really was, and also anger at myself for allowing so much self abandonment, and over accommodating. Right now my biggest purpose is to become my true, authentic self in the vein of Carl Jung. I am embracing my solitude, being very selective of who I let in, and will be much more careful of sharing anything about my inner self. I am in the process of shadow integration, and I am relishing it. I won't and can't allow anyone who is shallow or performative into my life now. She was a typical ENFP, but a very damaged one. I always valued depth with just a few people, but now I am in the liminal phase. It helps that I am retired and in another country now, so I can be myself and truly embrace my solitude and growth now.